On and on, reckless abandon.
Something’s wrong, this is gonna shock them.
Nothing to hold on to,
We'll use this song to lead you on,
And break the truth with more bad news.
(S)he left a scar, size extra large.
Blink 182- Reckless Abandon
Rinoa looked down at the end of the gunblade that protruded from between her breast, soft warm blood dripping off it’s tip, lingering on the edge before falling to the ground. Oh, god! The pain!
She... she didn’t know why her attacker would do such a thing. She tried to cock her head behind her to get a good look at her attacker. The pain!
Her eyes were full of tears as her head got but a glimpse of her attacker. Please... the pain. End it!
Her breathing was slowing down. She wanted it to end. But what a pitiful way for it to end! Blood was now being coughed up uncontrollably as her eyes continued to water. She asked the question over and over again in her mind in those few seconds why her attacker would do such a thing. Commit this act against her, no less.
She coughed up yet more blood as she gained a somewhat understanding of why this was happening. Why was her attacker smiling, though? Why? She had to hear it from the attackers own lips as Rinoa muttered, “Why?”
The only answer received was the trigger being pulled on the gunblade. Rinoa’s body shook violently for but a moment and then slumped to the floor once the gunblade was pulled out. The attacker merely looked at the body, then at the gunblade. A slight smile rose on the attacker’s face, and then a simple statement, “How ironic.” A moment later, a scream was heard from behind the attacker.
Squall was escorted down the hall by two other SeeD seniors. He walked along those corridors wanting and waiting to wake up. This had to be a dream. She couldn’t have been gone. Not now. Not yet. It was just too soon. But, she was dead. Rinoa was dead and killed by his own weapon out of all the things. Why? Why?
The halls of Balamb Garden
were pretty empty that fateful day. The few students that did grace the hall of
their presence avoided eye contact with Squall. He felt like a murderer. He was
partly to blame, he reasoned. He didn’t know why it had to come to this,
though. Anything. Anything but this.
The attacker’s eyes were shifted downward the whole time. Realizing Zell wanted an answer and wouldn’t let up, the attacker finally said, “I hate her.” A painfully simple statement, but true nonetheless.
Zell cursed at that last remark and punched the wall. The dent probably felt homey with the other dents that littered the wall, courtesy of Zell. “What kind of answer is that?! Your an idiot, you know that?! A freakin’ idiot! You know your gonna probably end up dead for this, right?!”
The attacker said nothing.
“Say something!” Zell yelled, face flushed completely red.
A frown came across the attacker’s face, and looking at Zell, spat, “Bite me.”
It was a grand party, indeed. It was the third anniversary the regular crew had, rejoicing over the victory of Ultimecia. Zell, Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, Squall and Rinoa were all there. Rinoa had organized it along with Selphie. It seemed that Rinoa was starting to pick up quirky little habits Selphie had. Like forming this party. Although the party in itself wasn’t a bad thing, Squall wasn’t too thrilled to see some of Selphie’s qualities in her.
On the outside, Squall and Rinoa were very much a happy little couple. Sometimes, a sickening one. It was just over the years, Squall started to grow apart from Rinoa. Even though she was his first true love, her still couldn’t help but realize that this wasn’t the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Rinoa seemed to have sensed the feelings Squall had for her waning as well. She started doing more things for Squall, trying to please him whenever possible. She would go out and buy him the most expensive things just so she could see that smile on his face. She didn’t want to lose him. She still loved him very much. Needed him, in fact.
Squall on the other hand was constantly concerned for Quistis sake, since she did still show signs of affection for him. But whenever approached about them, she always shook it off as something trivial, that Squall shouldn’t worry about it.
“I’m a grown girl now,
Squall,” Quistis would often say. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry!” She always ended
it with a smile.
Irvine and Zell were now the best of friends. Irvine replaced Zell’s need to hang out with someone, seeing as how his best friend, Squall started dating Rinoa. As all couples usually go, Squall spent little time away from the one he cared for so. It would usually be Zell and Irvine would who go on various SeeD missions throughout the world, particularly Dollet. It was still a hostile territory, probably always would be. It was during those times that they bonded as well as they did.
Even though Irvine expressed interest in Selphie, he placed his feelings to the side until they had lived their lives a little, and she responded well to that. It gave them time to grow and be better individuals. And they knew that that would only make their marriage that much more stronger.
“I’ll help you, Rinoa,” Selphie called out to Rinoa as she started to put things away.
It was late, and Irvine and
Zell had yet another mission they were to go on the following day. The
culmination of partying and lack of sleep for the past couple of days wore them
out and they headed out from the party. After saying their good-byes, Squall
had to leave pretty soon as well. The stacks of papers sitting on his desk
weren’t to go away by themselves, as nice as a thought that was. So he retired
from the party as well.
“What a great party, Rinoa.” Quistis commented as she slumped down in a chair, letting her arms droop to the sides. “I’m going to have to have one, one of these days.”
Rinoa picked up a plate of crumbs left over by Zell. What a mess, that Zell is! she thought as she fought to keep all crumbs on the plate, a battle that proved to be harder than slaying any enemies. “Yeah, it turned out pretty good. You should have one, Quis, I bet it’ll be a blast.”
Selphie was still running around the little room with a video camera in hand, taping stupid little things at that point. “Lookey at this!” Selphie said, pointing the camera at a plate Rinoa was holding. “Zell is just a little piggy, isn’t he?” she said in a cute little voice.
Rinoa just rolled her eyes as she started walking around Selphie, sighing, “You know, you said you would help me with all this mess, Selphie.”
Selphie kept the camera locked on Rinoa until she disappeared inside a room. “Oh, she’s being a cranky pants, isn’t she?” Turning the camera around, and pointing it directly in her face, she whispered, “I think it’s that time of the month.”
Quistis heard that last comment and giggled slightly over that. Standing up, she looked out a window and admired the starry sky. The way the stars tingled so. It reminded her of that day her and Squall talked some overlooking a starry sky. How he said he didn’t love her... or even remotely feel for her the way she did for him. It took everything in her power not to break down and cry like she was doing inside.
“I can’t live in the... the
past.” she muttered. She turned back around to see Selphie still taping silly
little things, and shook her head at her antics. She wished she could be like
her. Carefree and happy… feelings she hadn’t experienced in years.
Quistis’ stomach started moaning a bit. She probably shouldn’t have eaten as much ice cream as she did. Or take up Zell in a hot dog contest. Oh well, she shrugged to herself as she walked to the bathroom.
“I think Quistis has to take a dump!” Selphie said, as she taped Quistis walking to the bathroom holding her stomach some. Quistis flagged her away as she closed the door.
Selphie laughed at this some until Rinoa popped from out of the kitchen, yelling, “Put that camera away and help me! Geez!” Smiling, Selphie laid the camera down and started helping Rinoa.
Squall looked through the glass windows to Rinoa’s attacker. For some reason, he wasn’t angry but sadden that such a thing would happen. To Rinoa no less. She deserved better... better than to meet death at her age. He remembered it too, how Rinoa had taken him aside and told him about how she saw it. Their life together.
“It’s just like a fairy tale. You’re the dashing young prince and I’m the princess.” Rinoa had started. “Together, we beat the big, bad witch and now we get to live forever after. Nothing will stop us from being together. Nothing.” She ended that last statement with a smile and kissed Squall gently on the lips.
He could still feel that kiss, too. Those soft lips touching his. Those pure black eyes staring back at him as he opened his eyes from their kiss. Those soft, glassy eyes. He then laughed some as he looked at the attacker. Nothing was to stop their love. Nothing. He shook and lowered his head, closing his eyes as he remembered that day even more.
“But what if something does come between us?” he remembered saying. “Then what?” It was said in a playful way... so as to invoke another comment that would lead to a kiss. Squall started getting slick like that.
“Well, I hope you would put that gunblade of yours to good use, then.” she replied.
Squall then stood up from the little grassy hill they sat on and started to swing his gunblade some. “Your right! No one will get by us as long as I have this lovely by my side.”
Rinoa had raised an eyebrow. “Who? Me or the gunblade?” They had laughed some after that and ended it with yet another kiss.
The beautiful memory was then broken as Zell punched the walls once more, enraged at the answer the attacker gave him. His fist left yet another mark against the soft metallic walls that accompanied the rest nicely.
Well, that certainly was
a nice party. Although, it would have been better if Rinoa hadn’t organized it.
Quistis thought as she fixed her hair
some, looking back at herself in the mirror. Despite what she may tell Squall,
that her heart is fine and that it doesn’t bother her that Rinoa and Squall are
together it eats at her insides so badly, it could be a sickness. Everyday it’s
the same thing. She wishes constantly that she wouldn’t feel this anymore.
Whatever is she talking about, Quistis wondered as she crept to the doorway to the kitchen. What she saw was the most depressing sight she ever witnessed before in her life. There was Rinoa. Showing off a ring. She couldn’t make out what kind of ring, but it had to be a wedding ring. A wedding ring that Squall gave her.
She covered her mouth, holding back a rather loud gasp, and continued looking on with widening eyes. She’s his. She’s really his. she said over and over in her mind, confused and amazed all at once. She’s really his. She’s really his. Soon her tone turned angrier. She’s REALLY HIS! I can’t believe she’s his!!! She began backing up from the kitchen, the following words of Rinoa and Selphie too clouded to comprehend anymore.
“The ring looks so... prettyful.” Selphie said.
“You think so? Squall picked it out himself. He said that.. that...” Rinoa couldn’t finish that last sentence, and burst into laughter with Selphie doing the same.
“Rinoa! Your supposed to act more seriously! The play is only next week and your still laughing when we rehearse that last part!” Selphie giggled still.
“I know, I know. I’ll do better. Let’s try it again. And does it have to be Squall that gave me the ring?” Rinoa asked. “You know I feel weird about that.”
“It’s all in your mind! He still likes you, don’t worry!” Selphie tried to reassure her.
“I don’t know. I’m beginning to think he really does have a thing for Quis.” Rinoa replied.
“He don’t, kay? Now, don’t go nowhere. I have ta go get something from my room real quick.” Selphie said as she ran out the room.
She was completely oblivious to Quistis. Her hand still over her mouth, she continued backing up until her foot hit something. Looking back and down, she saw it. Squall’s gunblade. He must have left it here. Picking it up, she looked at it through teary eyes. Squall’s gunblade. A few moments past, and then a mischievous grin appeared on her face.
A few curses came from inside the detainment room, and then more yelling. “Bite me?!” Zell yelled. “I’ll friggin’ bite your head off, you little bi...”
“Zell! Stop it and come out here.” Squall yelled to him.
Zell’s face was red with anger still and he punched the wall one more time before storming out the room. Seeing Zell walk off like that, Squall told the two SeeD seniors that escorted him earlier to follow and make sure he wouldn’t do anything dumb. They nodded and began to follow Zell as Squall entered the detainment room. After closing the door, he looked at Rinoa’s attacker. Rinoa’s attacker merely placed her head down, too ashamed to look at Squall in the face.
Squall wasn’t angry, or mad. He felt bad. Bad over the whole situation. A lot has happened in the past three years, and things didn’t get him like they did before. He was a lot calmer now. More mellow. Relaxed. Even through stressful times such as this. He just forgot how to hate. To allow himself to be angry. Rinoa taught him how to be a better person, and even though the very person that taught him how to be better was gone now, he still felt no anger. Especially to this person. The one who ended Rinoa’s life. Probably because he still felt something for this murderer.
“Quistis,” Squall merely said. Still too ashamed to look up, she hid her hands in her face. The tears began to resurface once more, and soon she was crying like the night before. After Riona’s death... no, murder.
After a few moments, Squall asked Quistis a painfully simple question. “Why?” She could have sworn she heard Rinoa’s echoed voice chime in the same time Squall asked her that question. It was the same one Rinoa asked before she pulled the trigger. Why?
Regaining her composure once more, she said, “I couldn’t let her have you. I... I saw the ring. The one you gave her. She.... looked so happy. Now that you were finally hers. You...” She couldn’t continue and started crying once more.
Squall, though was confused. What ring was she talking about? “Umm, Quis. What ring would that be?”
Oh god, he’s going to make me feel stupid, now. She sighed. I guess I deserve it. Quistis held her eyes closed tightly and mumbled, “The o-one you gave her. You know, t-the wedding ring.”
Squall was still deathly confused. What wedding? If there was one he was suppose to be in, he didn’t know of it. Then it all came surging to him. The play! She thinks...
“Just what did you hear Rinoa say, Quis?” Squall asked Quistis while leaning against the wall, crossing his arms.
Quistis then told him the part about how Squall picked out a ring for her and proposed.
“That was for a play we were planning next week, Quis.” Squall sadly said, holding his head in his hands. “I.... I wasn’t getting married to her. I didn’t plan, too.” He stopped for a moment, and took his hands from his face, though his head was still down. “I was growing apart from her, Quis. It was you... I was starting to look at.” He looked up at her with dejected eyes and said, “You.”
That last part shocked her worse than all the threats and hoots and hollers from Zell. Once again the tears began to resurface as she barely whispered, clasping her chest, “You.... me?!!”
Squall was to be hers. Hers and no one else’s. What she was about to do wasn’t right and she knew it. And, as tired as the old expression was, it was so true in this situation. If she couldn’t have her, no one would.
Quistis tiptoed through the dinning room until she reached the kitchen, with gunblade still in hand. Rinoa was oblivious to Quistis presence as she continued washing the dishes. Where is Quis? Did she fall in the bathroom or something? she questioned herself as she glanced at the table still full of grimy dishes.
Quistis looked at the gunblade and reasoned that this was the only answer. The only way she could find peace. Standing behind her, she stared at her back for but an instant and then pierced her, till the hilt reached Rinoa’s back. Rinoa’s muscles tensed up and her arms bent some on her sides as the dishes dropped from her hand and crashed to the floor, shards cutting her legs some. Surprisingly, Rinoa didn’t scream or holler or even make so much as a peep. This angered Quistis some. She wanted to know that Rinoa was suffering as much as she was inside. She wanted to hear her beg for mercy and cry. She wanted her body to rock and shake violently with pain. Something and not this silence.
Rinoa tried to look behind her to see just who her attacker was, but wasn’t able to get a proper look. Once Quistis saw her cocked head trying to see who it was inflicting so much pain on her, she met her face with Rinoa’s, smiled through teary eyes, and pulled the trigger. Rinoa’s body flinched some, and then dropped to the floor as Quistis forced the gunblade out of her body. No twitch. No movement. No nothing. Rinoa just lay there, dead.
Quistis looked at her lifeless body with great approval, though a bit sadden she wasn’t able to recognize the sort of pain she was in. One of the quietest deaths she ever committed. But, she was dead. There was nothing more to worry about now. She looked at the gunblade run with Rinoa’s blood with sickening interest. She started to smile some more, and then laugh at her own little revelation.
“How ironic.” she said. “How ironic that she would die with her own lover’s weapon.”
Not a moment later did Selphie enter the room once more and see the terrifying scene that lay before her. Squall’s gunblade, blood, Quistis, blood, Rinoa, blood, dead, blood... Blood! Selphie could do nothing but scream in terror.
“B-but, I thought... you and Rinoa?” Quistis questioned Squall. She was so confused. Here he was, telling her that he liked her. That he really did have feelings for her. And that she could have been his. They could have been... together. And Rinoa could have still been alive.
Squall always seemed happy with Rinoa. He always rejected Quistis advances. Never revealing that he was interested in the least bit. Why didn’t he ever tell her? How he felt? Didn’t he know that it was painful to live each day knowing that she wasn’t his?
It was all messed up now. Things... could have been better. Would have been better. Should have been better. “She... didn’t need to die,” she muttered, a slight revelation on her part.
“Huh?” Squall asked.
Again she muttered, “She didn’t need to die.” She then thought back to what she said after she killed Rinoa. How ironic. Tears started flowing once more as she held her head down as her own words polluted her thoughts. The mental anguish she would forever receive from but two little words, stated by her own lips no less.
How ironic. How ironic.
Notes ‘d Auteur
First off, I want to apologize to any Rinoa fans out there that I might have offended, but I needed to write this fic to get the feelings I personally had towards Rinoa out in the open. I’ll be the first one to admit that I wasn’t a huge fan of Rinoa. From the get-go, I could tell that she wouldn’t be a character I would use too much. So many things about her just yelled to me a nasty, disgusting word: Eww!
I really began to dislike Rinoa when I saw how Quistis liked Squall but he went and fell for Rinoa. That just wasn’t cool. And she was just all alone after that, Quistis was! Selphie had Irvine whether you accept it or not, and Zell had Xu, I believe. But poor little Quistis has no one. (Can you tell Quistis was one of my favorite characters? After Irvine of course.)
I read a few fanfics that had Quistis falling for Seifer (HOW, I’m still trying to figure out) and that didn’t settle to much for me, particularly the way that it was done. And a few others had Quistis falling for Zell (that just didn’t seem right to me, either.) That’s when I decided I would have to write my own fanfic, putting my own twist on it. I think the whole irony thing made this story work better than my other ones. Plus, this story marked my first true, completed love story (The Einhander story I’m STILL writing three years later was suppose to be my first love story).
All in all, I hope you’ve enjoyed my rendition of how the love between Squall and Rinoa/Quistis turned out for the worse. Boy. I have ta stop writing such sad ending fics. Oh, don’t mind me. Hope you enjoyed, and review or comment if you will, please. Thanks!