Epilogue: A Step Towards Recovery




These are my words...
I never said before...
I think I’m doing okay...
This is the smile,
I’ve never shown before...
-Staind: So Far Away


“Squall...” Rinoa said, her eyes in tears.
“Quistis died because of Caraway. I know it. I have known it for the time being.”
“Why? We weren’t enemies at all. We were closest friends, on the contrary.”
“Rinoa, I now understand that, she died to save me. She died for the world, as I would. As I was prepared to.”
“She didn’t have to die.” Rinoa stated.

“Squall! Yo! Squall!” came Zell’s voice.
“Damn! Back down, Zell!” Laguna said.
“Selphie, will you sit down? The helicopter hasn’t landed yet!!!” Irvine exclaimed.
“I can’t! I wanna know! We have all been awaaaaaaaay from them! We don’t know anything! Let me out!!!”

Squall looked at the horizon to see an Estharian helicopter coming to him. Selphie jumped down, followed by a cursing Irvine and screaming Zell, and an impatient, old Laguna.

“Whoa, WHOA!!!” Squall exclaimed as Zell jumped on top of Rinoa and him. Selphie jumped on top of the pile as Irvine and Laguna joined in.

Squall felt happiness for the second time in his life. Happiness after everything that had happened. Happiness after everything he had done. He had taken lives, but given lives. He was a sinner, and a saint. He felt his friends around him, the only person he could love with all he had next to him. He felt as if they were one- though the others were left out of his discovery of the power within him.

“You!” Selphie said, poking Rinoa on the nose, “You are in hella trouble! Tell me all about it, everything! I wanna know!”
“You!” Zell imitated Selphie as he poked Squall in the eye, “Are in big trouble too! We were on missions, and we come here to find Rinoa kidnapped, and you gone after her!!! Nobody tells me anything!!!”
“We don’t, cause you might scream the biggest secret on the world, that we’re telling you!” Irvine exclaimed.
“Brave words...” Zell said, threateningly.
“Brave words to a coward.” Irvine said, smiling.

Squall got up. He looked at the horizon. The sun was going up. The dawn, -so early it seemed to him- was bringing the excitement it always carried.

“Laguna...” he said, “I’m sorry... Ellone... I couldn’t do anything...”
“It’s okay.” Laguna said, “Because I know Ellone has died, but not because of you or your faults. She died because of something else. But she finally got to see her mother and father again.”
“And Zell...” Squall said, “I’m sorry. It had been-“
“I know all about my mom.” Zell said, “I know you killed her. But I know it was an order. I would’ve done the same, I’m afraid.”
“As for Kiros-“Squall started
“He was part of a conspiracy.” Laguna said, “We all knew we would die of assassinations the day we were high up in the government.”

Squall smiled to himself. The signs of depression and darkness faded away from his eyes.

“Squall? You okay?” Selphie asked.
“Sure.” Squall replied, “I haven’t been better. Why?”
“You smiled.”
“I did.” Squall said, still smiling, “I really did. So much for ‘Cold, distant, silent hero’, huh?”
“Gee, it’s wierd to have you joke!” Selphie said, giggling, “But surely cool!”

Squall looked around, and spotted a building that was in the middle of Esthar soil. He turned the direction of his steps towards there.

“Squall?” Irvine asked, “Where are you off to?”
“I’m off to do something I must.” Squall replied in return.

***

“Forgive me father, I’m a sinner.”

The Hyne priest that has been newly assigned on the Estharian Hyne Church, listened in more to hear a movement in the confessional chambers next to him.

“Father, it has been some time since my last confession, and things I have done in that time being...”
Unsurely, the Hyne priest asked, “And how do you feel?”
“I feel...” the young man stopped. The Hyne priest almost felt him smile, “I feel like I have remembered something I have forgotten a long time ago.”
“That seems like something good... Now, would you like to begin to confess?”

No sound came. The Hyne priest listened in, but not response came.

“Son?” he asked, unsure again.
“I’m sorry father.” The young man said, “But there is no rest for the sinners. But shall I find some rest, then I will know, I wasn’t a sinner.”

“Excuse me?” the Hyne priest asked, listening for a reply. When no reply came, he opened the little window between the chambers and saw that, the chambers next to him was empty.

“Hey, WHERE ARE YOU, SON!?” he asked.

Hearing the question, right outside the Hyne church, Squall smiled. Wind whipped his hair and trenchcoat, as Squall bent down his head, and kept smiling.

Still smiling, he stared at the horizon; thinking-

Taking a step towards recovery, father.

Taking a step towards recovery.