Azumanga Daioh meets Kingdom Hearts
Koko: Hi! This is my first fanfic so I hope you like it!
When Chiyo-Chan decides to have a Sleep-Over she invites everyone! But, her 'Dad' AKA Creepy Color Changing Dream Cat who Likes Tomatoes, decides to send them into another dimension AKA Kingdom Hearts....place! Will Chiyo work for Ansem? Will Tomo ever stop saying "Why in the heck!"?! WILL SORA STAY SANE?!!!!! THE MADNESS!!!! RUN AAAAWWWWWWAAAAAAAY!
Chapter 1: Pretty Swirly Portal Thingy
“Hey Tomo!” Chiyo said running up to her desk. “Yeah what?! I’ve got Pixie Stick eatin to do! I’m trying to break the world record of most blood sugar!” She said holding a bag full of Pixie Sticks and a thing that would either measure her blood sugar or explode, Tomo had recently gotten an interest in going to black market websites and ordering stuff, because it only cost five cents, and it said that if you bought enough stuff it would give you a ‘Appreciation Gift’. “I wanted to invite you to my week long sleep-over at my Beach Home!” Chiyo said excitedly. “WHY IN THE HECK....wouldn’t I?!!!!!!” Tomo said in one of her hyper bursts that I have no idea why she gets but I’m gonna put it here because it’s in the show hyper bursts. “Uhhhhhh, ok then but are you sure your parents will let you?” Chiyo asked. “Parents? Oh, you mean those things I keep locked up in the closet, and feed table scraps? I don’t think they’ll care.” Tomo said dismissively. “Right....ok then bye!!!!” Chiyo ran to Osaka’s desk throwing back an invitation. Osaka turned around surprisingly from actually hearing Chiyo-Chans footsteps. “Hiiiii.....have you ever thought about Hemroi-” She said before being interrupted by Chiyo who was still freaked out about the Tomo thing. “Just come to my sleep-over alright!!!?” Chiyo said throwing an invitation onto Osaka’s desk. “Allllllriiiiiight.....” Was all Osaka said before she fell asleep, and Chiyo went to invite Miss Sakaki, Kaorin, Kagura, and Yomi.
Day of the beginning of the sleep-over
“Hey Girls!” Yelled Nayamo, and Yukari. Who, as usual are there only because they will give everyone free rides. “Hi.” The girls said in unison before remembering Yukari’s ‘wonderful’ driving, immediately afterwards a ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ game incused leaving Chiyo-Chan (WHHHHHHAAAAAAA!), Tomo, and Kaorin stuck in the ‘Driver from the Underworld’s’ car. After a nice comfortable, but slightly long drive with Nayamo, and a terrible scream fest, felt like days of evil drive in Yukari’s car they (Sort of) made it to the Beach House safely. Since it was really late they decided to just go to sleep.....
“Oh, my! This is really a tight squeeze!” Said Chiyo-Chan’s ‘Dad’ as he worked his way out of Sakaki’s head through her ear. “These girls are having such a dull un-tomato filled story! (Koko: Hey!)” He said looking around. “I know! I’ll send them into another dimension! And, give them all tomatoes to bring too!” As he said this a tomato appeared in everyone’s hands, and they were sucked up into a pretty swirly portal thingy....
“Ehhhhhhrrrrrg” Yomi said as she got up. “I feel like I just got sucked into a pretty swirly portal thingy....” As Yomi said this she rubbed her eyes, and looked around. But, instead of seeing a bedroom she saw a town glowing in neon lights. “AHHHHHHHHHHHH! She screamed waking everyone up. As they realized what was happening they also screamed. “Were are we!” Kaorin said in panic. “And, why are we all holding tomatoes?” Osaka said in her usual monotone voice......
Koko: Hi! Oh, thanks for being nice Kiro!
Kiro: I did that because Sensor Moogle made me...
Koko: I thought you were going to be good....
Kiro: No you frickin BEEP!!!
Chiyo: Oh no, a BEEP! It’s annoying!
Koko: It’s white!
Kiro: It’s Sensor Moogle! Ack! He makes me not be able to swear, and do bad things!
Sensor Moogle: Yes it’s me! I shall now make this story about fluffy bunnies!
All of us: NOOOOOOOOO!
10 Hours Later
Koko: *Shoves bloody Sensor Moogle into a closet*
Chiyo: I don’t like violence....
Kiro: To bad!
“Tomatoes!? Eek!” Yelled Chiyo-chan attempting to throw down the tomato, which stubbornly stuck to her hand. “Eat the Tomato Chiyo-chan...eat it,” Said a disembodied voice that sounded strangely similar to Chiyo’s Dad’s voice.... “But, I’m scared of tomatoes!” Insisted poor little Chiyo. “I don’t care!” Replied the voice. “Why are you afraid of tomatoes Chiy-” Suddenly Kagura was cut off by a screeching noise. “Watch out!” Yelled an unknown voice (Kiro: How original Koko: Oh, be quiet!). Just as that was said a Brunette boy jumped over the group and started repeatedly hacking at strange black things with creepy glowing eyes...With a big key, while doing this he repeatedly yelled things like, “Yah!” or, “Take this!” in the exact same way. “That’s sort of creepy...” said Sakaki overlooking what was happening as the boy killed the last of the creepy things. “You could have had your hearts stolen by the Heartless! You should be more careful!” The boy said. Yomi marched up to him looking pretty mad. “Look here! We just got sucked up into a pretty swirly portal thingy that we shouldn’t know about because we were sleeping, we don’t even know who you are, we don’t know where we are, and what in the world are Heartless?!” She yelled. “Yeah!” Agreed the rest of the group. “Huh, you’re not from around here are you?”
After a nice big introduction to everything including everyone getting weapons that I’m to lazy to write about, the group sets off to defeat the returning Ansem, of course you might be wondering what happened to Donald, and Goofy. Well they got put into perpetual comas because I say so, and I’m the all-powerful Authoress. But don’t worry about the weapon thing, I’ll get into that later. Back to the story...”So, we’re going to fight a big boss thing now as an excuse to go to a cut-scene with Ansem?” Asked Koarin nervously. “Yep.” Replied Sora. “Ok! LET’S DO IIIIIIT!” Yelled Yukari who seemed a bit over enthusiastic about getting to use her new scythe. As she said a huge Dusk version of Guard-Armor appeared, and attacked! “Ack! Take this! And, this!” Yelled Nayamo as she fired blasts of ice at the creature with her staff. When the blasts ended Sakaki, and Kaorin did a double team attack. Sakaki jumped into the air as Koarin flung up her rod letting Sakaki land on it. Quickly Sakaki once again jumped bring down her twin blades on the enemy. As she did this Kaorin swung the rod down at the enemy......
As this happened Ansem overlooked the screen he said...
Koko: Ha! I leave you hanging!
Kiro: Shud up!
Chiyo: The tomatoes...ehmmm
Koko: I shall now continue the story with this really short introduction!
Kiro: Just tell the story!
Chapter 4: Cutsie Wustie Chiyo Chat-speak
“LOLZ! 111oneoneeblens1 ONG dat gurl 1z s0 cUt3!!!111on3 BR1ng m@ h3rr c@@z sH3 URBER PWNS!111” Yelled Ansem in a sqeaky little girls voice. “What Master?” Suddenly a Knight appeared behind him with questioning….glowy things. “Um…huuurm hurm, I want you to bring me the White Mage with the red hair in pig-tails that is in the center of the screen.” Ansem replyed after recovering. “Urrm, ok Master” Once the heartless had disappeared Ansem turned back to the screen thinking, “Did he hear me speaking in uber L337? If he did I better destroy him….if only I had asked which Heartless number he was…they all look the same and I’m not going to sacrifice the entire Knight Squadron to the Fluffy Pink Bunnies just to get rid of one…..”
“Yah!!!” Kaorin yelled striking the beast with her poll thing. “What the fricken heck!” Was what most of them would have yelled when they saw what the damage done to the monster was if they hadn’t been fighting for their lives. The little meter floating above everyone from Sora’s scan ability read, [2 Damage Done]. Even when Sakaki hit the monster barely took any damage. “Taste led you retarded Dusk crap!” Yelled Kagura as she fired huge bullets from her Bazooka. “WOW!” Everyone thought seeing that she had done 4 damage! “I guess I forgot you all are on level one…” Said Sora as he killed the monster with his uber 100 LVL skills. “Unfortunately before he could do this the monster decided to slam down on top of Yukari who had been running around swinging her scythe yelling, “Die weird thing, die!”. “I’ll heal you!” Yelled Chiyo-Chan racing up to Yukari’s pancake of a body. As Chiyo charged up her magic, Yukari looked up weakly saying, “Wow, I though you hated me cause of da drivin”. Chiyo suddenly realized that she could have just let her die in agony as Yukari was healed. “I can’t believe I did that!” She yelled before a certain you-know-who (Heartless Knight….) appeared behind her, grabbed her, and poofed away. “WHY IN THE HECK!!!!! Is she gone?” Yelled/Asked Tomo in her usual hyper manor, the others nodded and all Sora could think to say was, “How am I gonna stay sane with them around?!” Now you may be wondering why Osaka hasn’t been mentioned….well throughout the battle she’s been eating her tomato and having a Tea Party with the Moogles and Merlin in Wonderland on top of the Queen’s Head.
“Huh, where am I?” Asked Chiyo-Chan to no one in particular. She got up to find herself in a room filled with pictures of her that apparently Ansem had obtained using his kewl evil power thingies…namely Amazon.com. “You are in the Cutsie Wutsie Chiyo-Chan room!” Said Ansem who seemed to appear out of no where. “Now you shall be my favorite dark slave!” Continued Ansem who seemed to be showing his eccentric side quite a bit lately. “What if I don’t wanna?!” Chiyo countered. “Then, as much as it hurts me, I shall have to sacrifice you to the Pink Fluffy Bunnies.”
Koko: Be afraid…be very afraid.
Koko: Okay guys, I’m trying to think of something witty to say!
Chiyo-Chan: I’ll he-
Kiro: Howa bout a threat?! READ THIS NOOOOW! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!
We’ve Gotta Save Chiyo-Chan!
“Hi! Everyone, I’d like yah to all meet Merlyn the wizard, and Molly Kreavangough the Moogle…you can call her Molly!” Everyone turned around to find Osaka with her two new companions. “How’d you guys get here?! Asked Kaorin. Yeah, it’s like you got here by magic!” Added Kagura. This unfortunately put Yukari into drunken mode, “Wooooooooooo…Magic XD”. “By the way, don’t you mean Merlin?” Yomi inquired now obviously having some inside info from the authoress…. Wait, I didn’t mean to type that! “That’s just mah accent, and after we were done with our tea party Merlyn stuffed us in a bag, and brought us back here! Isn’t that right Merlyn?” Merlin stepped forward and bowed down…His hat falling off to reveal drugs, cigarettes…etc…and stolen money!
“Uh, you didn’t see those…. Hem, hem…. Well anyway, yes my wonderful little Osaka. That’s exactly how we got here!” He said as he hurriedly stuffed the drugs back in his bag. “Yeah, whatever! Chiyo’s gone missing and we have to find her!” yelled Tomo who…for once seemed to care…wow. “Oh, no! I think I know how she disappeared! Her pig-tails finally took over, and now she’s out reeking havoc!” Osaka responded going into a fetal (I have NO idea if that’s spelt right…) position. Suddenly Sakaki decided to speak up, ”Or, maybe this is the answer….”. She handed a small piece of paper to Nayamo. It read:
Dear Friends of Chiyo-Chan,
I have decided that this little girl will be my dark right-hand minion. Don’t come after her or you will be killed and then fed to the amazing Pink Fluffy Bunnies. I hope you have a very happy fun nice day today!
Hugs, and Kisses, Your Friend,
“We have to save her!” Kagura said Bursting into a hero poseTM. “Whata bout the bunnyehs?” Asked Yukari coming out of her drunken mode. Tomo simply replied, “WHY IN THE HECK…should we care?”
“But, I like Pink Fluffy Bunnies!” cried Chiyo-Chan. “These ones aren’t nice though!” Replied Ansem. “Oh…” Chiyo-Chan sunk into a beanbag chair shaped like her head. “Well will you be my minion or not?” Whined Ansem. Chiyo looked up with big teary anime eyes and said, “Okay.”. “Why tat is SO ubER gr3@t!”Ansem squealed. “We’ll do it tomorrow! But, right now…let’s have some cake, and cookies well listening to “Sorimimi Cake”! “Oh, that’s such a great idea!” Replyed Chiyo getting out of the beanbag, and sitting at a pink fluffy table with him.
Meanwhile the rest of the group snuck into Donald, and Goofy’s hospital room, and stole the key to their Gummy Ship. After doing so they began their own adventure to save Chiyo-Chan! Wooooooooooo!
Koko: Fear this chapter!
Kiro: Fear it more then Sensor Moogle!
Chiyo-Chan: Fear it more then Ansem!
Sensor Moogle: I'm feared? Why! I just wanted to make this story about so sweet you'll throw-up things!
Everyone: Not him again! YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAH!
Sensor Moogle: No, stop, wai-
Chapter 6: P...B...S...Kids?!
As the group of...heros....sort of. Well as the traveled through space in the Gummi Ship, Nayamo had something to say, "Hey guys? I know this is the fastest, easiest way to travel from world to world, but don't you think it's a bit to.....small? I mean Merlin's frikin BUTT is shoved into my face!"
This sadly was true, and as she mentioned Merlin, he let out a perverted, "Ooooooooooh!". At this everyone shivered (Except Osaka) and nodded in agreement. Unfortunatly, before they could take a pit stop to throw Merlin out and make the ship bigger they crashed into a big evil sign of evil that evilly advertised...Dud, duh DUH.....Dora the Explorer!....Evil. ......EVILY EVILY EVIIIIIILY.......evil.
Possibly hours later Yomi, Kaorin, Yukari, Molly the Moogle, and Kagura awoke to find a creepy badly drawn turqoise monkey wearing red boots jumping on top of them yelling, "Dora, Dora! I found well drawn people!". Of course, then he started Ooh Oohing, and Ahh Ahhing.
"Oh. My. God. I think we're in the world of.......Dora The Explorer!!! (Duh, duh, DUH)" Yelled Kaorin slowly backing away from....Boots!
"What does PBS Kids have to do with Disney!?" Exclaimed Yomi.
"Uhhhhhhh.....they're both really stupid?" Kagura suggested.
"Kupo!" Molly the Moogle said.
"Uh, huh.....OOOOOH! MONKEY! I WANNA PLAY WIT DA MONKEY!!!!!!" Yukari then started running towards Boots, just as an annoying girly spanish voice called out.
"Hi, I'm Dora!"
Our other group (Sora, Tomo, Nayamo, Sakaki, Merlin, and Osaka) seems to be a bit luckier, for as they awoke....they found themselves in the world of Mulan! But, unfortunatly....they had fallen into the Emperer's Palace....and had been dressed in weird kimono-like things. Just as Sakaki was about to involantarily squeal with joy at the site of kittens, and cats on her kimono...thing, a weird person with a white face entered the small oriental room.
As Chiyo-chan and Ansem sat at the table, now eating crumpets, they conversed about many things......Chiyo's cuteness, Chiyo's pigtails, Chiyo's sweet voice....but most of all their crushes!
"Oh, I am SOOOO into Yuna! She is is like SOOOOO hot!" Ansem squealed.
"I like Pooh!" Chiyo-chan replied.
"I may think Yuna's hot but if you were older I'd want you to be my girlfriend!" Ansem continued. This however changed the entire mood of the room. I mean literally, all the Chiyos now had terrified looks on their faces, and the real one meeped and hid behind a lacey pillow.
Koko: Oh how I fear for Chiyo.
Kiro: Oh, how I fear for you when I'm done with my daily hurting of my twin.
Chapter 7: Mommy!
"KUUUUUUUPOOOOOOOOO!" Molly yelled as she saw the not even worth raw-meat girl. Soon afterwards she began to suck on her weird little pom-pom for comfort.
"Hi! I hope we become friends!" Dora began to skip towards the petrified group, and Yukari continued to to run around banging into the tv screen repeatedly yelling, "I WANT MONKWE FRWEND!".
"Let me guess, to get out of here we have to......help her with some idiotic quest....don't we?" Kaorin questioned half to the rest of the group, half to Dora. "YEP! Cuz, that how video games work amigas! Can you say, am-i-gas? Say it wit-" She was suddenly cut off as Yukari sliced hers, and Boots heads off in her with her sythe well contiuing her crazed freaky weird rampage.
"Uhhhhhh.....are we gonna get fined for that?" Yomi inquired. "Probably, let's try acting retarded and cutesy so that no one will notice. With that Molly ended up getting her feet crambed into the banana mold filled red boots, and Kagura picked up the backpack.
"Hello star gods and goddesses. I see you have awoken. Please get ready for your welcoming ceremony so we can see your other-worldy powers." The women said as she walked towards them, and bowed.
"WHAT IN THE HECK.....are you talking about?" I don't think I need yo tell you the speaker of that. "You fell from the sky, therefore you are gods, and goddesses.
"No I'm not! We fell from the sky because our gummi ship crashed!" Defended Sora.
"I'm a prettay staw goddess....." Osaka sang a she slowly turned in circles.
"That's not helping Osaka dear." Merlin said.
"Shut-up you perverted old man," Nayamo then began hitting him in the head with her staff until he passed out. "now everyone, this isn't helping so let's just play along okay?"
Somewhere in a dark.....sewer.....I think, a small shadow heartless crawled carrying a bag of freshly stolen hearts in it's hands to feed the rebellion against Ansem......
"So I ask this map thingy where to go right?" Kagura questioned as she looked down at the map she was now holding in her hand. "Yep, and since Kaorin here is the cutest one, we are gonna let her do this stuff!" Yomi then turned to look at Kaorin. "I'm ready." She stated with a serious look on her face. When she had the map in her hands she suddenly reverted her voice into cuteness singing, "Ma-hap! Maaaaaa-ap! We need to know which way to go!".
"Mommy!"Chiyo cried as she shook behind the pillow now regaining all her feelings from before until, "I've got cuteness flavored coooo-kies!" Ansem squeaked.
Kiro: What she’s trying to say is: “Go AWAY!
Koko: NO I’M NOT!
The People On TV Are Scaring Me!
“Hi Dor- wait…..you’re not Dora!” Before The Map could say more Kagura grabbed it and began venting her anger off on it (Forgetting to turn away from the TV screen) “Look you little piece of crap, if you don’t play along, I’ll get the authoress to put Peachie NU in here! Do you know what he can do to you?!”. The Map quietly whimpered, “The Darkness World of Chocolate?”. “Yes, that’s exactly what he’ll do.”. “But, I don’t have innards!”.
Somewhere in a cozy house a small boy who has been watching Nick Jr. yells, “Mommy, the people on TV are scaring me!”
Kagura simply stated, “They’ll turn you into a human-” “YAY!” The Map cried. “And, THEN they’ll eat your innards”. “Boooooo…..”.
“Can we just get on with this? Kupo!” Molly asked. Kaorin and Yomi nodded in agreement. “Alright” The Map said recovering, “First you have to go on Jump Rope Road, then across Candy Cane Bridge, and through Meejka Sirkywyn Blooplitou Swamps, OK I’ll be in Backpack bye!” Before anyone could say a word he disappeared into Backpack’s pocket.
A Neo Shadow heartless walks around a large circle of the group of rebel heartless cleverly named: We Don’t Like Ansem! “Okay, as you all know, Ansem wouldn’t let us eat brains as a side dish with our hearts, but nooooo-o that’s not what pushed us over the line is it? It was when he….got rid of our cookie table!” The Neo Shadow yelled.
“BOOOOOOOO!” The group responded. “So, what do we want?”. “COOKIES!!!!”. “When do we want it?!” “AFTER DINNER”. The Neo Shadow stomped it’s….foot…I think against the ground and yelled, “NO YOU IDIOTS! We want it NOW!”
A Blue Rhapsody floated forward and timidly said, “But, they aren’t filled with healthy vitamins!”.
“Alright, we’ll play along…” Sora said as everyone nodded in agreement and Osaka continued to dance. “Are you ready to go show the emperor and his court your godly powers?” The woman asked quizzically. “Ummm, sure.” Sakaki said starting to walk towards the door, “Are you coming?”.
After a few minutes the group arrived in a highly decorated chamber with a huge amount of cushions that a group of people were sitting on. “Welcome gods and goddesses! I’d like you to demonstrate your powers one at a time so we can take a nice look at them individually.” Said an old man with a screwed up beard. “Look you we-” Before Tomo could say more Sora yelled, “Be quiet, I think he’s the emperor!”. With a look of slight embarrassment Tomo turned her gaze to the floor.
“Shall we begin?” One of the court asked.
Koko: I had writers block!
I Taste Yummy!
“What does cuteness taste like Ansem?” Chiyo asked getting up and walking towards him.
“Well, it’s like strawberries-”.
“WHAT! But, Ansem…I’m not melted!” Chiyo exclaimed looking down to make sure. Ansem simply stuffed a cookie in her mouth and said, “Physics don’t matter in this story, haven’t you realized that?!”. After swallowing instead of answering Ansem’s question she said, “MMMMMMMN! I taste good!”.
After showing off random powers that the court watched in awe, the group of weirdoes heroes and the perverted old man got to return to their temporary quarters.
“What are we going to do?!” Nayamo said dropping on the floor and sighing.
“Well, we COULD go on a big side quest that will lead us to our ship.” Tomo suggested .
“Nah, that’s to easy. The Authoress would never let us do it that way, we probably have to pay her to get out or something.” Sora said looking down at the floor.
“Your exactly right Sora!” A disembodied voice boomed out of nowhere.
“What do you want then Authoress?” Sakaki asked as a menu screen popped up so that they could see what was in their inventory. “It’s nothing to hard, just doing my chores for a month……that is, every month until all of you have had a turn.” I replyed.
“Fine, now will you just put us back in the stupid ship?” Nayamo asked.
As the other group of weirdoes heroes led by Kaorin walked they tried a feeble attempt at singing Dora’s walking song, without much success.
“Hey look…it’s Jump Rope Road….Kupo!” Molly said in a feeble attempt to sound happy.
Suddenly a living jump rope appeared in front of them and began to say, “Hola Amigas! To cross Jump-” But, before he could finish everyone passed him and crossed Jump Rope Road quite easily.
Koko: I’m going to stab you now…..with bullets.
Kiro: Stop quoting VG Cats!
You Named Him Shogo?!
The rebel leader began pacing in fustration. “I can’t believe I have to work with such idiots!” He yelled, “You’d think that heartless obsessed with eating brains, hearts, and cookies most of all would be more smart! But, noooooo! They have to be dumb enough to care about their health too!”.
The leader stopped pacing for a minute, and banged his fist against the wall, “Well, I’ll just have to pound some sense into them! Or my name isn’t General Shogo!!!!!”
Somewhere in a duplex back on Earth….
Kiro looked on as Koko wrote before saying, “You named him SHOGO!?
After gobbling most of the cookies Chiyo sat back down, and began to get drowsy.
“What’s wrong Chiyo!?” Ansem asked, “It’s only 3:00 A.M.!!!!”
But, now Chiyo had already fallen asleep, and was leaning against one of the many beanbags. Before leaving the room Ansem looked back, and said, “Awwwwwww, I had wanted to play more before I had to turn her into my right-hand minion of darkness…..”.
Back in the palace…..
Suddenly the Gummi Ship appeared inside the room, and everyone jumped inside…..failing in keeping Merlin out.
“Let’s get outta here!” Sora yelled happily, and was about to start the ships engines when Nayamo pointed out…
“Shouldn’t we get out of these kimonos first?”
After taking off the kimonos (In separate places), and finding the servents were to lazy to take off their old clothes underneath they again squeezed into the Gummi, and lifted off….tearing away a part of the palace in the process.
In the terrible world of pain, and torture known As Doriti Exploro ( So I gave the dumb place a name! What are you all looking at?!), the rest of our unfortunate group continued there journey.
“ So, we cross that bridge thing soon right?” Kagura asked as she finished killing a mouse that had tried to be cute to her.
Yomi continued to walk, and just let out a simple, “Yep.”.
Hanging her head down in disgust Koarin said, “Which mean…judging by the typical Dora premise, we’ll either have to put the dumb bridge back together or answer some dumb riddle.” Kaorin sighed then continued in a way so that no one could really hear, “I miss Sakaki!”.
“Watcha say Kaorin?!” Yukari asked.
Molly simply shook her head, and said, “Kupooooooo……”.