Final Fantasy Solid 2: Sons of Bitches
by d_Galloway

Episode 1: The Tanker

The Galbadian River, two years ago. We had just recieved word that a new kind of Metal Gear was being scheduled for transport.

The whole thing stank, but our noses had been in the cold for too long...


The bridge over the newly-formed Galbadian river was as active as ever, with cars buzzing to and fro across it. In fact, even in the light emitted from the lamps and beams from the cars, people didn't pay much attention to the dark-cloaked man standing at the side of the bridge, smoking a cigarrete.

The man put the cigarrete out, then turned his attention to the oil tanker heading his way. There didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary on it, but he knew better. He had all the information on the truth that he needed.

This was the transport for Metal Gear.

He threw off the cloak and immediately activated a stealth device, rendering him invisible. After tying a rope to both himself and the railing of the bridge, he waited for the boat to arrive. When it came within range, he jumped off.

Running along the sides of the boat, he found himself about ten feet up when the roap snapped. He hit the ground hard, damaging the stealth beyond repair.

Cursing his ill luck, Cloud stood up and called Butz.

(begin codec conversasion)
Cloud: Butz, I'm on the tanker.
Butz: How're things over there?
Cloud: Stealth camo's busted. Landing impact.
Butz: Guess you'll have to do without.
Cloud: Don't worry too much. I wasn't planning on relying on it, anyway.
Butz: Do you remember what happened after the Frozen Continent incident? About how the disc containing Atma's experimental results was circulated on the Black Market?
Cloud: All Irvine's doing.
Butz: Now every country on Earth has its own version of Metal Gear. Thank God the missle didn't get out.
Cloud: So what's the deal with this new Metal Gear.
Butz: Apparantly it was designed as an anti-Metal Gear unit to be deployed by the Marines. Unlike the others, it can function properly underwater, making it the perfect tactical weapon in the destruction of Metal Gears.
Cloud: Of course, something will go wrong.
Butz: Your mission objective is to take pictures of the new Metal Gear, then send them directly to HQ.
Cloud: The gaurds...they're simply wearing rain parkas and lanters. You wouldn't suspect them to be anything but civilians from here.
Butz: With the clear view of the river the city gets, placing uniformed soldiers on the deck would be a bad idea. But that doesn't make them any less dangerous; do NOT get caught under any circumstances.
Cloud: Remember, there's a price on our heads.
Butz: You worry too much.
Cloud: I sure hope so.
Butz: Your equipment includes a digital camera for the pictures, and a customized M9, equipped with tranquilizer rounds. Remember, you have to reload after each shot, so be careful.


Cloud continued to listen to Butz while watching the deck. Suddenly, he saw a uniformed soldier sneak up behind an unsuspecting Marine and slit his throat. Every other marine on the ship was killed in a similar manner, then tossed overboard. Then there were the choppers, droping off even more soldiers onto the tanker. Like always, things had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Cloud then saw someone who seemed to be the leader: an old, greyed man who just departed from a chopper. Quickly snapping a picture of the man, Cloud returned the Butz.

Butz:-and that's when I learned that natural fibers are the best.
Cloud: Listen, the whole damn ship's been taken over!
Butz: What?
Cloud: How many people would it take to take over a tanker this size.
Butz: Well, it's operated by computer, so I'd say about eighteen.
Cloud: A lot more then that just got on. I'm sending you a picture of who I think is the leader; identify him for me.
Butz: Can do.
(end codec conversasion)

Cloud knocked a gaurd out with a tranquilizer, then opened a hatch leading into the tanker. After outwitting even more gaurds, he made his way to the helm of the ship.

The scene at the helm was horrifying. The corpses of dead naval officers were piled onto the controls. Blood soaked the floors, making it seem like a drying-up lake of blood. The flashing on the directional computer showed the destination: Fabul. The Metal Gear was more prepared than they had thought.

Quickly, Cloud called Butz.

(begin codec conversasion) Cloud: Butz, the gear's headed for Fabul. Butz: It must already be ready for field testing. We'll have to hurry on this one. Cloud: Any word yet on who's in charge of this army? Butz: Not yet. Tifa's sending it through the usual channels. Cloud: I'll try to find out as much as I can. (end codec conversasion)

Cloud then heard a woman's voice coming from outside. Through the rain, he could barely make out a young, green-haired woman wearing a military uniform similar to those worn by the terrorists. Desperate to find some information, Cloud carefully made his way outside.


The rain was unrellenting, but Cloud found shelter behind two large crates. He was able to make out the conversasion.

(script only)
???: Father, the ship is ours now. How's Irvine doing?
Father: He's preparing the seizure of Metal Gear. This will be a glorious day indeed, Terra.
Terra: Finally, revenge at those who destroyed our lives!
Father: Terra, leave the ship.
Terra: WHAT?!!
Father: There is an ill moon tonight; I have a bad feeling about this mission.
Terra: loyalty is to the unit!
Father: Enough of this nonsense, Terra! Need I remind you that you are carrying my grandchild?
Terra: *sighs*
Father: Leave immediately. That is all.
(end script)

As soon as Terra got off the radio, Cloud jumped from behind the crates, his M9 aimed at Terra. She raised her hands in surrender, then gave up her gun. When Cloud saw the knife handle in her boot, he told her to give that up as well. When she reached for it, she activated a secret trigger in the handle.

Cloud barely dodged the bullet aimed at his head. Terra then threw the knife, but Cloud shot it out of mid-air. Terra then drew out another gun, and prepared to take Cloud head-on.

(Boss: Terra)

Terra ran behind a bunch of steel beams covered by a rain tarp, peeking out only to shoot Cloud. She wasn't as fast, however, and Cloud easily struck her with a few darts.

She then grabbed the spotlight nearby, turned it on, and moved the beam directly into Cloud's field of vision. She then shot two of the support ropes for the tarp, causing it to further obstruct his view.

Cloud, however, simply shot the light out and shot Terra through the tarp. She then released it completely, and used spaces between the beams to fire, but Cloud succeeded in getting a head shot.

Terra fell to the ground, unconcious but not seriously wounded.

(end boss fight)

Cloud grabbed Olga's gun, but then noticed a floating platform with a camera on it fly nearby, take a picture of Cloud, then leave. Confused, Cloud called Butz.

(begin codec conversasion)
Cloud: Butz, I just saw a army cypher.
Butz: It's not only that, but I got an ID for you.
Cloud: Well? Who is that guy?
Butz: Gestahl. He leads a private army now.
Cloud: First the marines, then the empire, now the army. What the hell is going on?
Butz: I don't know. But we HAVE to get inside and finish the mission.
(end codec conversasion)

Cloud made his way to the engine room, where he dodged more soldiers than a man can count before reaching the passageway to the hold. After disposing of a guard, he found himself staring at a mess of lasers and symtex.

(begin codec conversasion)
Cloud: This looks bad. I can't go through here. I'll have to find another way.
Butz: There is no other way. But you CAN disarm the trap.
Cloud: How?
Butz: Use that new gun of yours to hit the control panels. You can tell what they are by the green light they emit. But let's save first, shall we?
Butz: Tifa, now what?
Tifa: Listen, Butz, you'd better have a good reason for standing me up last night!
Butz: You're so good when you're drunk!
Tifa: Oh yeah? *punches Butz out*
Cloud: I'd better get out of here before things get ugly.
(end codec conversasion)

*about a hundred Game Overs, loads, days, restroom breaks, and continues later*

Cloud finally disarmed the last light, and the passageway was clear. He made his way down a long, twisty hall, only to get ambushed by a sqaudren of soldiers. After disposing of them, he went inside a small room leading to the hold.


The only surviving soldier of the brief battle with Cloud locked the door behind him. Then he heard the familiar sound of heavy cowboy boots hitting metal.

"Sir," he said, "I thought you were with the colonel."

Then Irvine drew his gun and blew the brains out of the surprised man. As he followed Cloud, he said to the corpse:

"Your colonel will be joining you soon...comrade."


Cloud found himself on a walkway, overlooking an army of marines. They were all fixed on a television screen, which was projecting the picture of a tall, rather bald man who was in the middle of a lengthy speech (then again, marines are trained to withstand excessive amounts of boring speeches). Realizing that this was going to be a little difficult, Cloud quickly called Butz.

(begin codec conversasion)
Cloud: Butz, it looks like the marines are down here.
Butz: I guess they don't know about what's going on up on the bridge.
Cloud: Well, in any case, I'm not interested in fighting Galbadia's entire marine force. I'll have to sneak through.
Butz: The best time to do so would be during the speech.
Cloud: Do you have any amount of time for that?
Butz: I hacked into the ship's computer. I'd say you have seven minutes; longer if he throws a joke or two in.
Cloud: Okay, I'll be on my way.
(end codec conversasion)

Cloud climbed down the ladder, then grabbed onto the railing. He moved himself, hand over hand, to the end, where a guard was stationed with his back to Cloud. He simply knocked the guy out with a dart, and continued on his way.

The next area was an exact repeat, only without a guard at the end. Cloud thought about how stupid it was to design a ship this way, but didn't dwell on the subject. He just continued onward.

Finally, Cloud found himself staring at the behemoth of destruction itself: Metal Gear. This time, it was far different from the previous models; it looked more like a Godzilla rip-off than a Mechwarrior rip-off. After knocking out another guard, Cloud recieved a call from Butz.

(begin codec conversasion)
Cloud: Okay, I'm in front of Metal Gear.
Butz: You need to take those pictures, then use the terminal located to the side of the bottom floor to send them to me.
Cloud: Got it.
(end codec conversasion)

Cloud pulled out the camera and began to take pictures of the giant robot, all the while uttering "Oh, baby. Yes, that's it! Come to Cloud, come to Cloud! Yes, yes, yes!" Finally, after nearly being caught due to a very lame joke by the commander, Cloud made his way to the terminal and sent the photos to Butz.

Just as he did so, the speech ended with the commander saying, "We will save the world with Metal Gear Emerald!"


Just then, the sound of spurs filled the area as an all-too-familar voice filled the area.

"Interesting speech, my friend. The gift of the silver tongue; it is the sign of a talented speaker...and of a liar."

The commander rushed at the man, but Gestahl grabbed him from behind, a gun pointed at the man's head. The entire private army appeared as the marines stared in shock. That's when Cloud's mind figured out who it was: Shotgun Tiger, or, as he learned later, Irvine.

"What are you going to do with Emerald?" asked the commander, his voice critical of the terrorists. "Sell it on the streets?" Gestahl then launched into a monologue about how the Empire had fallen, and how everything was going to hell for him, and how he planned to use Emerald to rebuild the Empire. To this, Irvine laughed.

"I regret to inform you," said Irvine, "that I don't plan to sell Metal Gear. As I said, I've come to take it back. No, return the Patriots!" Gestahl and the commander both stared in complete shock. Irvine continued. "Gestahl, you and your daughter will die here!"

Gestahl's response was an unbelievably angry and overly-dramatic, "DAMN YOU!!!" He then tossed the commander to the side and pointed his gun at Irvine, shouting, "Die, you dog!"

Suddenly, Irvine's jacket flew between the three men. Shots rang out from both sides, and the jacket was nearly torn apart by bullet holes. Everything seemed to move in slow motion for a few seconds.

The commander slumped over, dead. Gestahl fell to his hands and knees. Irvine moved his gun to his side, saying "Gestahl, looks like you were long overdue for retirement." Gestahl let out one last "Treacherous dog," then slumped down.

Suddenly, the soldiers turned their guns on the cowboy; however, he gunned all those that challanged him within two seconds. He then pulled out a detonator, taunting, "If you wish to live, swim now. It's two miles to the harbor; you can still survive if you swim for your life!"

He then pressed the button.

Explosions rocked the entire tanker. It swayed violently from side to side as both marines and Empirical soldiers ran around in blind panic. Irvine made his way to the Metal Gear cockpit, but Cloud had had enough of this shit. He then rushed up the catwalk, pointing his gun at the cowboy, who then turned in surprise and recognition.

Suddenly, the traitorous terrorist's arm began to shake violently. That's when Cloud remembered; Irvine's arm was sliced off by Shadow back at the Frozen Continent. Something was definately wrong here.

After screaming in pain, Irvine's voice suddenly changed. "How are you, dear brother?"

Cloud's response was complete shock. "Kuja?"

Irvine continued in Kuja's voice. "You're drowning in time. I know what it feels like, brother. Big Boss was in his fifties when his clones were created; but I live on through this arm!"

Cloud then realized exactly who's arm was taken...

Suddenly, the entire ship quaked. Irvine was tossed forward into the cockpit, while Cloud was thrown into the rising water. He climbed onto the catwalk and quickly called Butz, simply saying one sentence:

"Butz, we have a problem."

Emerald broke out of the side of the ship, hastening the sinking. Cloud swam through the hole, grabbing hold of some nearby wreckage.


Inside Emerald, Irvine began his own call.

"Yes, sir. The mission was a success. I can't wait to see his surprise when the news comes on tommorrow. Yes sir, I'll be at the meeting point. Good-bye, Mr. President."


In the tanker's last moments, Gestahl floated up to the surface of the water. He simply uttered "Terra," then sank to the bottom of the sea, along with the commander, many of the marines, and the entire tanker itself.



The Plant episode