The Final Fantasy Breakroom 15
by d_Galloway
*inside the room where the dimensional portal-thingy is located*
Dimensional Portal-thingy: *suddenly activates as three small shadowy figures appear; two thin, and one fat*
Fat Figure: Oh yeah, that felt good.
Thin Figure 1: Shut up, fatass!
Fat Figure: I'm not fat! I'm big bone!
Thin Figure 2: Yeah, whatever, fatass!
Fat Figure: THAT'S IT! *begins to attack the thin figures, then trips and bangs his head against the controls*
Fat Figure: GOD DAMN IT!
*the Dimensional Portal-Thingy begins to shake and vibrate*
Thin Figure 1: Oh man, this isn't good.
Thin Figure 2: Let's hurry up and do what we came here for!
*all three figures leave while even MORE figures come in*
(MEANWHILE)
*Galloway is sleeping on the set. Gemini is sleeping in the rafters. Suddenly, a loud knock is heard at the door*
Galloway: *waking up* Now what? *opens the door. On the other side is Weiila. She is scared out of her mind*
Weiila: Did-did you hear?
Galloway: Hear what?
Gemini: *wakes up*
Weiila: Something happened at Squaresoft HQ! The entire place is in pieces!
Galloway: What?!
Weiila: It gets worse! Whatever caused it ran off and got on a plane over here!
Galloway: How'd you hear all this?
Weiila: I'm a girl. I know these things.
Galloway: Brother! Prepare for battle!
*one quick changing scene later*
*all three are now wearing their combat equipment. Galloway is in his armor, holding his sword. Weiila is wearing her robe and holding a whip (her leather outfit's being washed). Gemini is wearing his ninja gear and cat claws*
Galloway: *listening* I hear something. It's getting closer...
*the door is broken down as a massive pack of monstrosities are released into the room*
Galloway: CHARGE!
*a bloody battle insues, with Galloway, Weiila, and Gemini claiming victory. Galloway then notices something*
Gemini: *notices it, too* THAT ANCIENT BOOK OF PORTALS! THEY'VE TAKEN IT!
Weiila: What?
Galloway: We found that book a while ago, and were studying it here. Since the accident with the last camera, we've had to save just to get another one, so we have plenty of time on our hands. That book spoke of portals that could lead beings from other worlds here.
Weiila: Oh, dear God!
Gemini: *examines the bodies of the monsters they just killed* Wait a dang minute! These are Zerglings!
Galloway: Zerglings? As in, Starcraft Zerglings?
Gemini: That disaster at Squaresoft...remember what happened before?
Galloway: *thinking* Yeah. When Daemon kidnapped everyone, those that were left used some kind of transporter to find the ingredients to save them...
Gemini: You don't think...that something else could have crossed over here?
Weiila: Come on.
Galloway: We're going to Squaresoft HQ, right?
Weiila: Yep!
Gemini: And if we don't want to?
Weiila: *eyes glow red*
Galloway: Brother, I don't think you have a choice here.
(back at the break room)
*the break room is in complete pieces. Everything has been smashed, put back together, then resmashed. Also, many cartons of milk lie on the ground. Black Mage, Rydia, Aeris, and Edward emerge from the closet*
Rydia: Fuck! What happened here?
Edward: Man, I'm glad I'm always hiding.
Black Mage:...*stabs Edward*
Edward: *dies*
Black Mage: You're not hiding anymore!
Aeris: Black Mage...*beats Black Mage until he's near death, then revives Edward*
Edward: *sees Aeris* AAAAAAAHHH! *hides*
*Locke, Vivi, and Tellah emerge from beneath the cabinets*
Tellah: Double fuck! What happened here?
Locke: Beats me.
Vivi: Wasn't me!
Locke: Nobody was saying anything to you-
Vivi: I didn't do anything!
Tellah:...*knocks Vivi out* Kids these days.
*White Mage, Rosa, and Sephiroth emerge from the roof*
Sephiroth: Triple fecal matter! What happened here?
White Mage: Looks like the work of Black Mage to me.
Black Mage: Don't you accuse me! They nearly got me, too!
Rosa: Fine, fine, let's all shut up now. What happened?
Black Mage: A good majority of those things came from the Chrono series break room. Should we check?
Sephiroth: Fine.
*everyone leaves*
*the CS break room is in complete ruins. Everyone passes through and goes to the Dimensional Portal-thingy, which is still glowing*
Black Mage: Okay, this is bad.
Vivi: How'd this get on, anyway? Nobody's been in here for months!
Rosa: Wait a minute...
Rydia: What now?
Rosa: What if there's another portal?
Tellah: What?
Sephiroth: She means another portal, similar to this one. If it activated this one, and didn't control it properly, then anything could pass through!
White Mage: But...who would do such a thing?
*the three shadowy figures appear*
Thin figure 1: Trap them, dude!
Fat figure: So long, losers! *hits a button*
*a bomb goes off, sealing the room*
Black Mage: Damn! Those must have been the guys!
Aeris: How do we escape now? All the walls here are magic-shielded!
*meanwhile, outside of the room*
*the three shadowy figures walk away, laughing. Edward emerged from hiding*
Edward: The plot thickens...*follows the shadowy figures*
*Galloway, Weiila and Gemini jump off the plane and parachute onto the top of Square HQ*
Galloway: *gets tangled up on some attenas*
Gemini: *falls out of the parachute and lands with a thud*
Weiila: *lands perfectly*
Galloway: Weiila, I hate you.
Gemini: *gets up* Ditto for me.
Weiila: Well, too bad, boys. *takes a few steps and falls through a weak part of the roof*
Galloway: *cuts himself free of the parachute* Well, I guess we should follow her.
Gemini: Fine, fine.
*Galloway and Gemini jump down the hole and land in an unknown section of the HQ. It's full of electronic gadgets, gizmos, and other stuff. Weiila runs from a dark corner, screaming*
Galloway: *readies his sword* Come out, foul fiend!
*The King of Town emerges from the shadows*
Galloway: *puts his sword away* Okay, what are you doing here?
King of Town: Well, I was sitting with a pie...and this portal appeared...and some fat kid came through...and took my pie...so I chased him here...and lost the pie...
Gemini: Sounds like the King of Town to me.
Weiila: What?
Galloway: Let's wait for our reinforcements first, shall we?
(meanwhile, back above Square HQ)
*Chris-chris and Kenny parachute out of a plane. They both land perfectly*
Chris: We made it! *swings her arms out and accidently hits Kenny*
Kenny: *flies off and gets impaled on an attenae*
Chris: Oh my God! I killed Kenny!
Japanese Guy: *says Japanese equivilant of "You bastard!"*
Kenny: *magically reappears*
Chris: Okay, let's go! *jumps down the hole*
Kenny: *jumps down the hole*
(back in the unknown section)
Galloway:...so that's why you're not cool and why Strong Bad will always rule over you.
King of Town: Well, at least I didn't dress up like a girl two Halloweens in a row!
Galloway: I never dressed up as a girl!
Gemini: Oh, really?
Galloway: Silence, brother!
*Chris and Kenny land in the room*
Chris: Hi!
Kenny: *is crushed by a rock*
Galloway: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!
King of Town: Those jerks!
*eerie silence*
Galloway: Oh, that's right. The King of Town can't swear beyond "crap" and "freaking".
Kenny: *magically reappears*
Gemini: Well, let's go.
King of Town: I saw some kind of control room down the hall. Didn't get to go in, though; some security guard blocked me.
Galloway: Let's go, shall we?
*a security guard comes up*
Galloway: Okay, we don't have to go anywhere.
Guard: Halt! You're under arrest!
Gemini: Okay, this is bad.
King of Town: Oh hoo hoo hoo! *a bottle of sunscreen falls out of his robes*
Guard: *looks at sunscreen for a bit, then jumps down at it*
Galloway: *realizes something* Die! *sticks his sword into the guard's head*
Guard: *face melts off, revealing a robot that then dies*
Galloway: This is getting worse by the minute. Let's go.
*everyone goes down the hall*
(meanwhile, in another area)
*the three shadowy figures are talking to each other*
Fat Shadow: I sense it.
Thin Shadow 1: What, dude?
Fat Shadow: Our target draws near.
Thin Shadow 2: Cool! But, what about those other guys?
Fat Shadow: *looks down at the trapped FF characters* Let's teach them a lesson...
(meanwhile, back in the hall)
*everyone arrives at a security room, filled with monitors, computers, about eight trillion donuts, and enough coffee to fill the Grand Canyon.*
Galloway: *checks a computer* Hmm, just as I suspected.
Weiila: Okay, whenever someone says that, something bad happens.
Kenny: *muffled sounds*
Chris: This doesn't end with me dying, does it?
Galloway: Listen for once! The computer shows that someone hacked into the Portal from another dimension. However, they did such a good job of it that the whole system stayed on-line, opening gateways from other worlds.
King of Town: Oh hoo hoo hoo!
Galloway:...Anyway, I can track a few of the places. Let's see...
Gemini: *looks over Galloway's shoulder*
Galloway: *smacks Gemini to the ground* Okay, here we go. There was one on Char.
Gemini: *getting up* The Zerg...
Galloway: The next one opened up in a place called Neo Kobe. That's from Snatcher, if I'm not mistaken.
Weiila: What's a Snatcher?
Galloway: An android that kills people, takes their skin, and takes their place in society. They sweat, bleed, can mimick any size or ailment, know everything about their targets, and have guns in their mouths.
Chris:...damn.
Galloway: There are also three other open ones. One seems to be connected to...Nosgoth. Another is open for...some medivel countryside, and the third links to...Colorado?
Gemini: What? Colorado?
King of Town: This is bad, isn't it?
Galloway: Yep.
*tons of Zerglings appear*
Galloway: *sighs* Prepare for battle!
(one incredibly bloody battle later)
*the dead Zerg are lying in massive heaps and piles. The heroes are all panting*
Galloway: *cleans his sword* Phew. That was a tough one.
Weiila: *cleans her whip* Oh, how I hate Zerglings.
Chris: Yay! That was fun!
Kenny: *died too many times to mention anything*
King of Town: Oh hoo hoo hoo! They didn't get me!
Gemini: *gets down from the rafters* Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
Galloway: *pushes a button, which opens a side glass door* Let's go, shall we?
*everyone goes through the door*
(meanwhile, back with the three shadowy figures)
Fat Figure: Here it goes! *pushes a big red button*
*the Dimensional Portal goes back on-line*
Black Mage: Oh, shit!
*all the FF characters in the room are sucked in*
Fat Figure: Oh yeah! That was hella good!
Thin Figure 1: What did we tell you about 'hella'?
Fat Figure: Oh, right.
Thin Figure 2: Wait a minute, dude.
Thin Figure 1: What?
Thin Figure 2: What exactly did fat ass do to those guys?
Fat Figure: Oh, I sent them to a place when they won't bother us.
(the FF characters)
*everyone that plunged through the Dimensional Portal wake up inside the early break room. They examine their surroundings*
Black Mage: They turned the portal into a time machine!
White Mage: Grrr...
Sephiroth: Damnation.
Vivi: Oh, fuck.
Tellah: Bah! I've done better myself. Why, back in my day, kids stood back and let the adults do the work!
Rydia:...*knocks Tellah out* Damn old man.
Aeris: Okay, now what do we do?
(meanwhile, with Galloway and co.)
*everyone arrives at another control room. This time, it's crawling with some sort of slime, vines, tentacles, and various other things, all of which are making strange slurping noises*
Weiila: Man, this is sick.
King of Town: Not even this looks edible!
Chris: I'm not too sure about this one...
Kenny: *will probably die soon*
Voice: *from where they entered* Prepared to die? *stabs Kenny*
Kenny: *dies*
Galloway: Oh my God! You killed Kenny!
Chris: You bastard!
Voice: Oh, am I? Do you know who I am?
Gemini: *checks the walls* Oh, crap. This looks like a Zerg infestation!
Voice: That's right.
Galloway: Then you must be...be...
(meanwhile, elsewhere inside Square HQ)
Edward: *pulls out a radio* Calling Mr. T. Come in, Mr. T.
Mr. T: *through the radio* What do you want, sucka?
Edward: Evil beings have taken over Square HQ! You have to help us!
Mr. T: WHAT?! I have more important things to do, foo'! You deal with it!
Edward: What? But...you're Mr. T...
Mr. T: I hafta go save a youth center. I pity the foo' that calls me again! *disconnects*
Edward:...Great. I have to deal with them myself.
(meanwhile, back at the Infested Control Room)
*Infested Kerrigan walks into the room*
Galloway: Kerrigan!
*everyone (except Kerrigan) screams*
Kerrigan: Another fine world for the swarm! I should thank whoever opened that gateway!
Chris: *charges forward*
Kerrigan: *stabs Chris through the stomach and kicks her into Weiila*
Weiila: *falls down, then quickly heals Chris*
Galloway: KA ME...
Kerrigan: *kills Galloway*
Weiila: *revives Galloway*
King of Town: Oh hoo hoo hoo! *puts on his Mario costume*
Kerrigan: What the? *kills Kenny*
Galloway: OH MY GOD! SHE KILLED KENNY!
Nearby Zergling: *says zerg equivilant of "you bastard!"*
Kerrigan: *kills Zergling*
King of Town: *jumps about a centimeter into the air*
Kerrigan: Hah! What a fat waste you are! *stands right next to the King of Town*
King of Town: *jumps again and lands on Kerrigan's foot*
Kerrigan: *screams in pain*
Galloway: *pushes a random button*
*a portal opens up*
Chris: *pushes Kerrigan through the portal*
Portal: *closes*
Chris: Well, that was a tough one.
Galloway: Yeah.
King of Town: YES!!! I WON!!!
Weiila: No, you didn't.
Gemini: Yeah, what she said.
King of Town: *mooping* Sorry, King, but your princess is in another castle...
Galloway: Let's go!
*everyone leaves for the next area*
(meanwhile, back in time)
*the FF characters are standing in front of the past version of the Dimensional Portal-thingy*
Black Mage: *pushes some random buttons* Damn thingy! I hate this!
Rydia: So, what's the plan again?
Auron: We go back to our own time and kick the living shit out of whoever did this to us!
White Mage: Sounds good to me!
Sephiroth: Yes, that is a very good plan.
Vivi: *yawns* What you say?
Everyone else: *faints*
Tellah: Why you not be speaking english proper? GAAAH! Now speech of me mess up!
Voice: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Rydia: Oh no. Do not be telling me...
*CATS emerges from the shadows*
CATS: They set up me the guard.
(meanwhile, back in a control room)
Thin Figure 1: Who was that guy, anyway?
Fat Figure: I don't know, but he made me speak such good english that I had to let him be a guard.
Thin Figure 2: Shut up, fatass!
(meanwhile, back at Galloway's group)
*the next control room is filled with dead bodies, blood, dead bodies, gore, dead bodies, swords, dead bodies, spears, and dead bodies. Despite the fact that there is no possible way for it to happen, lightning constantly strikes inside.*
Galloway: *grabs a spear* It's a Nosgoth brand, all right.
*giant fire demons, lightning demons, and poison demons jump out of the ground*
Weiila: You had to say it, didn't you?
Galloway: Sorry.
Gemini: Damn it, I hate LoK!
Fire Demon: I will kill you!
Lightning Demon: I will also kill you!
Poison Demon: I, too, will kill you!
Chris: Okay, so we established that everyone wants to kill us.
King of Town: I'm glad I don't live here. You can't enjoy a succulant leg of lamb if every living being on the planet hates you.
Fire Demon: *roars fire*
Lightning Demon: *charges lightning*
Poison Demon: *just looks threatening*
Galloway: Okay, we'll have to come up with a well thought-out battle strategy for taking out these losers. Weiila, you heal us. Brother, you deal with the fire demons; you have the best range out of us. Kenny, you act as a human shield. King, you just run around and eat stuff. Chris, you do your thing on the poison demons. I'll take out the lightning demons. Okay, one...two...
Chris: *has killed every single demon while Galloway was talking*
Galloway: *kills Chris*
Weiila: *sighs, then revives Chris*
King of Town: Well, that was easy...
Kenny: *muffled noises*
Galloway: Let's go!*
*everyone goes to the next room*
(meanwhile, back in the past break room)
CATS: Ha ha ha ha.
Black Mage: Arrgh! Hadouken I do!
*nothing happens*
Aeris: Damn, we no can cast spells being. Speech of us too messed up!
Rydia: Bahamut I are summon!
*nothing happens*
Auron: You hear did what Aeris are was saying? No use spells we can! *slashes CATS*
CATS: *dodges* Ha ha ha ha. You no can damage me.
Vivi: We no can hit him! We now being dead!
CATS: Ha ha ha ha.
*Mox teleports in, with a sack in tow*
Black Mage: Arrgh! It are be Mox!
Mox: CATS, your evil sickens even me! How dare you skew the english language with your deadly engrish! I must kill you!
CATS: Who are you being?
Mox: I'm your competition in the realm of evil.
CATS: What?!
Mox: *shoots a fireball at CATS*
CATS: *blows up*
Mox: Okay, now to leave. *teleports away*
Black Mage:...did Mox just save us?
(meanwhile, back on the way to the next control room)
Galloway: Crap, I sensed it.
Weiila: What?
Galloway: Mox...just saved the FF characters.
Weiila: MOX? But he's dead!
Chris: Yeah, didn't Falchin kill him?
Galloway: *smiles* You'll learn the truth someday.
(meanwhile, in another part of Square HQ)
*Edward is crawling through a ventilation shaft*
Edward: Damn cobwebs! Damn grates! Damn air! Damn everything! *falls down another shaft and crashes into the room with the Dimensional Portal-thingy*...ow.
(meanwhile, back at Galloway's group)
*the next room is filled with electronic gadgets and gizmos that would make Bill Gates blush. Evil cyborgs (you can tell they're evil because they're cyborgs) are lined up on the walls. A half-eaten tuna sandwhich is on a plate, with a small container marked "cyanide" sitting right next to it. A dead body is on the ground, too*
Galloway: Man, that was a lot for just one room.
Weiila: What? *hears the fourth wall shatter* Damn. *heals the fourth wall*
Chris: Well, what is this?
Galloway: Welcome, one and all, to Neo Kobe. Land of bright lights, evil cyborgs, and japanese people that aren't even in the slightest bit japanese.
Gemini: Sounds like a bad place to me.
King of Town: Oh, a sandwhich! *goes for the sandwhich*
*a cyborg comes from the wall and eats the sandwhich, then punches the King of Town in the face*
King of Town: *goes flying into the wall*
Chris: What are those?
*all the cyborgs go active*
Galloway: Snatchers.
Kenny: *muffled noises*
Weiila: Well, they aren't armed, are they?
Snatcher: *opens his mouth and shoots a blast from a laser cannon inside the said orifice*
Kenny: *is blown up and dies*
Galloway: *bored* OhmyGodtheykilledKenny.
Weiila: *also bored* Youbastards.
Snatchers: *walks forward menacingly*
Weiila: Anyone else feel like we're in a Terminator movie right now?
Galloway: Nah, don't worry. I can deal with these guys easily.
Chris: How?
Snatchers: *open their mouths to fire several million blasts*
Galloway: *fires several million tiny energy beams at the foreheads of the Snatchers*
Snatchers: *heads explode as they die*
King of Town: *gets out of the wall*
Gemini: What the heck was that?
Galloway: Just hit them in the forehead, and they'll die easily.
Weiila: Yay! I didn't even have to heal anyone!
*a beam from the ceiling falls and hits Galloway in the head*
Galloway:...ow. *dies*
Weiila: Damnit. I said the forbidden words! *revives Galloway, then gulps down an ether*
Galloway: Onward, ho!
Kenny: *magically reappears*
Gemini: Brother, you're a moron.
Galloway: We'll see about that. *trips over his own feet*...ow.
*everyone leaves for the next control room*
(meanwhile, back in the main control room)
*the three shadowy figures are building a giant laser gun*
Fat Shadow: Man, those guys won't know what's coming.
Thin Shadow 1: If this doesn't kill them, nothing will!
(meanwhile, back with Galloway's group)
*the next control room seems to have been through the inner workings of a barbeque. Everything is torched beyond comprehension*
Galloway: Man, what the hell happened here?
Gemini: This seems vaguely familiar.
Weiila: *sees a burnt body* Somebody got a little too hot for comfort.
King of Town: Doo hoo hoo hoo!
Kenny: *muffled noises*
*a loud roar is heard, followed by stomping*
Chris: What's that?
Galloway: *draws his sword* Prepare yourself!
*Trogdor stalks out of a corner*
King of Town: AAAAAHH! *hides*
Chris: Great. A green, badly-drawn dragon with one beefy human arm. What's next, the Teletubbies?
Weiila: Don't even kid about that, Chris.
Gemini: This won't be easy. Trogdor is the most diabolical dragon to have ever existed. It could kill us all right here.
Trogdor: *breaths a massive column of fire*
Galloway: *uses the dissapear-reappear trick*
Weiila: *jumps to the side, but gets a wing scorched*
Kenny: *is burned to ash*
Chris: *gets her fingers toasted*
Gemini: *jumps onto the ceiling*
King of Town: *is still hiding*
Galloway: *draws his sword* Die, oh foul dragon of doom!
Trogdor: *punches Galloway*
Galloway: *flies into the far wall*...ow.
Weiila: *looks at her wing* AAAAAAHH!
Chris: Damnit! I can't grab my sword like this!
Kenny: *magically reappears*
King of Town: *refuses to come out*
Gemini: *jumps down from the ceiling* Okay, Trogdor, prepare to die!
Trogdor: *breaths fire*
Gemini: *dodges*
Kenny: *is killed again*
Gemini: *jumps behind Trogdor* Prepare to die! JENOVA STORM! *flies forward, stabs Trogdor in the back, then begins to flip-kick him in the head, scratch the dragon's back to hell, and finally release a one-handed Omega Jitsu while still attached to the back*
Trogdor: *dies*
Kenny: *magically reappears*
Galloway: *gets out of the wall* Well, the next area should be the last one.
Weiila: *has whirly eyes* Don't ask for healing, folks. I can barely stand right now.
King of Town: *comes out of hiding* Phew! That was a close one!
*everyone heads into the next hall*
(meanwhile, back at the Dimensional Portal-thingy)
Edward: *looks at the controls* Okay, what happens if I push this button? *pushes a button*
*the Dimensional Portal-thingy activates. All the captured FF characters pour out of it*
Black Mage: Hey, it worked!
Rydia: But wait. You said that it wouldn't work unless someone was on the other side of the controls, so...
Edward: Uh, hi.
Everyone else: AAAAHH!
Vivi: We were saved...by Edward...
Auron: I don't think I can take the embarasment.
Aeris: Suicide city, here we come.
Edward: Hey, what's all this about? I saved your asses!
Rydia: Chocobo! *summons a Chocobo*
Chocobo: *taps Edward with a feather*
Edward: *dies*
Chocobo: *dissapears*
Rydia: Will that suffice as revenge?
Tellah: Hell yeah!
White Mage: Now let's kick those shadow's shadowy asses!
*everyone runs off towards the control room*
(meanwhile, back at Galloway's group)
*Galloway and co. break down the door leading into the final control room. It's filled with snow and cows. A big laser is aimed at them, with three shadows manning it*
Fat Shadow: Fire!
Thin Shadow 1: Cannon 1 activated!
*the laser begins to hum*
Thin Shadow 2: Cannon 2 activated!
*the laser begins to get much louder*
Fat Shadow: Cannon 3 activated!
*the laser begins to shriek*
Galloway: We can't run from this! It'll level the rest of the control rooms!
Weiila: No! We're doomed!
King of Town: Oh no! *begins to run around in a panic*
Chris: Well, it's been nice knowing you.
Gemini: God, I hate this!
Kenny: *muffled noises*
*a rope comes and picked up Kenny, then drops him behind the laser*
Three Shadows: *in unison* Triple Cannon Fire!
Kenny: *grabs the back of the laser and raises the laser's aim*
Laser: *fires off a gigantic beam that blows the roof off Square HQ*
Kenny: *is crushed*
Thin Shadow 1: Okay, let's do this again.
*the laser comes back to the ground and returns its aim*
(after doing it all again)
Three Shadows: *in unison* Triple Cannon Fire!
*the laser goes dead*
Computer voice: *from laser* Please load weapon. Please load weapon. Please load weapon.
Fat Shadow: Ah, damnit!
Thin Shadow 1: Ah, hell! Just grab Kenny and let's go!
Kenny: *magically reappears*
Galloway: Just a second!
*the three shadows jump off the laser and grab Kenny*
Galloway: *pulls out a flashlight and turns it on*
*the light goes over the shadows, revealing them to be Kyle, Stan and Cartman*
Kyle: Ah, he found us out.
Stan: This is not good, dude.
Cartman: Well, we've got what we wanted! Now let's go!
Voice: Hold it!
*the FF characters enter the room, mad as ever*
Black Mage: Why'd you lock us up?
Vivi: Yeah! That was mean!
Aeris: How about I break your manhood?
Stan: Wait! We can explain! We wanted Kenny to come back. It's lonely in South Park without him. It just isn't the same. And besides, some beings that come from a place called "Comedy Central" said he can return from his banishment.
Galloway: So you attacked here. You let those things in.
Kyle: That wasn't the plan. Fatass here kicked the stupid thing, and it went off.
Cartman: Goddamnit! Don't call me fatass!
Weiila: So, what should we do with them?
Sephiroth: Boil them alive?
Black Mage: Vaporize them?
Auron: Castrate them?
Galloway: I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're going to let them go with Kenny.
Everyone else: WHAT?!
Galloway: I only took Kenny in because he had no home. Now he can have one again. I wish him the best.
Weiila:...I see. Well, good-bye Kenny!
Kyle, Cartman, Stan and Kenny: *wave good-bye, then go to the Dimensional Portal-thingy and leave. The control room immediately returns to normal*
(back at the studio)
*Galloway is talking to Gemini*
Galloway: So, I hear you have your own show now.
Gemini: Yeah. I'm producing the only news broadcast here.
Galloway: Well, good luck. You're still not getting paid here, though.
Gemini: Dang it.
THE END