From The Inside
by Joker Loire of the Turks

Rinoa raised her head slowly, and looked up. She was standing in the little hidden chamber withtin the Training Center. The full moon was shining up in the sky, and stars were her only friend at that point.

She tried to fight back the tears, but decided to let them flow.

I don’t know who to trust...
No surprise
(Everyone feels so far away from me)

Squall. It was all because of him. Rinoa have seen her entire life being taken away from her in a manner of selfish acts: the perfect world of Squall. Everyone had seen her as a distant Rinoa, distant as the stars like Squall.

Heavy thoughts sift through dust...
And the lies

She was living a lie. The whole “relationship” was going too far on Squall’s behalf. He wanted to enforce Rinoa’s open personality.

Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit,
Everytime I try to make myself get back upon my feet,
All I ever think about is this

Rinoa knew what he was doing to her: trying to cover her with the shell he had, was forcing her to live a lie. Living a lie of trying to decieve everyone she knew by acting like she’s distant, not even touching them on the shoulders. But inside she wanted to scream and hug everyone in the room.

All the tiring time between and how
Trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me.

“Rinoa? What the hell are you doing here!?” came Zell’s voice from the door.

Tension is building inside...
(Everyone feels so far away from me)

She pulled on her distant face and faced away from Zell.Zell muttered a “What the hell?” under his breath, to himself.

“Rinoa, what’s wrong? You’Re actin all like Squall! I mean, okay, unattainable and cool and stuff, but what the hell are you doing? You were all so social, with lots of people around you all the time!”

Shut up, Zell! You’Re just stepping on my bleeding wounds!

Heavy thoughts forcing their way...
Out of me

“Zell...”started Rinoa ”I...”it was hard. She felt her body being torn apart between the desire to cry on Zell’s chest and to step back and calm down and become Squalish Rinoa again.
“Yeah?” asked Zell, in a naive manner.
“I...I’m not all that...distant from the I?”
“I feel as you’re not even talking to me right now.”
“There you are!” came a disgustingly familiar voice.

Rinoa turned to see Squall, with a frown on his face. His expression screamed that he got the wrong impression.

I take everything
From the inside
And throw it all away
‘Coz I swear
For the last time,
I won’t trust myself with you!

Rinoa grabbed Zell by the waist and pulled him towards herself. Before Zell could finish his(“What the he-“)sentence, Rinoa pressed her lips against his, passionately.

Squall took a step back. He couldn’t believe what he was witnessing at the point. He reached out and broke the kiss, smashing his fist in the middle of Zell’s face. Although he was a fighter, he was caught off-guard.

“What!?” asked Squall, his veins pulsating violently.

I won’t waste myself on you!

“Squall! You are trying to put me in a shell, and I despise that! I hate you! I hate you and your anti-social behaviour! Okay!? I hate you! So now I’m free to do whatever I please to!”
“No you can’t do that!”
“Really? Watch this!”

Rinoa threw herself over Zell, again, kissing him.

Squall just stood there. Rinoa looked at him through the corner of her vision. He obviously couldn’t bear the scene, so he walked away.

As Squall got out, Rinoa broke the kiss and took a step back.
“What the hell?” asked Zell, totally confused and messed up.
“Oh, Zell!” said Rinoa, burying her head to his chest and starting to cry.

Waste myself on you!