I'm never going to get drunk again...
by Chris-chirs

Disclaimer: All Zelda characters (a.k.a Link) belongs to Nitendo, any other characters that are unfilimar are my own characters. I do not own Link or any other Zelda property. Than-you! ^~*


This is a fan fiction as to what happens when Link meets an old friend and buys him a drink. Let's see what happens to our hero when he gets drunk...


Our hero had just beaten Volvagia and decided to return to Kakariko Village in need of rest. He wipes his forehead and sighs.

"Fww, that was an intense fight." Link said as he walked down the first set of stairs.

"You almost lost your hat..." Navi tells him.

Link made a funny face as he remembered ducking in time from a fire ball assult.

"Don't even remind me of that." He gave Navi a glare. She spun around his head and dissappeared into his hat.

Link looked into Kakariko village with dissapointment, he was bored and wanted a challenage, but noone here seemed to match his skill.

"Link!" Link heard a filimiar voice. He looked to see a strong looking man running up to him. "Link! Is that really you up there. It's been so long!" The man shouts.

"Jake?! Is that really you?!" Link yelled back. His tall friend came up to Link with a greeting hand.

"I've been looking all over for you! Where've you been?" Jake asked as he shakes Links hand. Link returned him with a childish smile.

" Oh, here and there..." Link said.

"Come on, I'll buy you a drink." Jake puts a hand on Links shoulder and leads him to the local underground bar.


" The beers are on me. Two beers please, miss." Jake says to the waitress. The waitress walks away. She comes back with two beers and collects the money.

" Lets see, we haven't seen each other for seven years. What were you up to this whole time?" Jake ask him. He sips his beer and looks at Link.

Link grinned and said, "I was just... any where... how about you?" Link looked back at his friend.

" Me? Oh, after Ganondorf attacked, I came here to rebuild the village. I kept looking for you... but you never returned. So, I waited here for your return. And now your back." Jake slurpped a huge amount of his beer.

"Thats good. Have you found a girl yet?" Link took a sip of his beer. He shuddered as the taste grew in his mouth.

"Ha... is this your first beer? I figured you had at least one by now." Jake laughed in his beer as he sip some more.

" Yeah... this is my first beer... uhh... that was something new." Link said as he sip some more.

"Gee, your a funny guy now, Link. Did you now that?" Jake drank some more of his beer.

Link shook his head in dissagreement. "Actually, I think I've become more of an idoit then before." Link slurpped some more hestily

"Hey, do you remember the girl, Melisa? She's still looking for you." Jake told him.

"Melisa? You mean, she's still chasing me?" Link cock an eyebrow. He swallowed some more ale.

"Yeah. Tell me about it." Jake said as he looked around for a waitress.

Link looked into his beer and grinned. He smacked his lips and was deciding if he should have another one. But Jake had already ordered two more beers so he just accepted the offer.

The waitress came back with two mugs of beer. The two chrees each other and threw their heads back glupping the beer.


Link had had three beers and was drinking his forth. Jake was in the restroom and Link was sitting at their table.

Out of no where, a girl came up and just sat on Links lap.

"hey there, cuttie... how ya' doing?" She asked as she twirled Links bangs around her finger.

"Just fine... what's your name?" Link asked.

"It's Cleasrity... what's your's?" Clearity asks him.

"Link... you might be interested in a friend of mine if you wait here he'll be right back." Link tells her. (He could've sworn he flet something move along his belt, but he ignored it.)

"Sorry, I just came to say hi... bye-bye li' Linkie." Clearity walks off moving her hips from side to side.

Link was drinking his beer in a dreamy state when Jake comes up and say's "Care for another?"

"Sure!" Link smiled his usuall goofy smile.


It was later that night and Link had to say good bye. He left the bar feeling so joyfull he could just go and fight Ganny all by himself.

"LINK! How many beers did you have!?" Navi yelled at hiim.

"I dunno... I lost count at three." Link said to her.

Navi was dead silent for a little while. Then, she screamed out "HE'S DRUNK!!" She started to spin around Link screaming out, 'he's drunk! he's drunk!'

"Navi... I'm alright, I'm not drunk..." Link calm his fairy friend. But she still continued to spin around him like mad.

Link sighs and sweatdrops. He patted his belt looking for his wallet. It wasn't there! He begins to panic himself. 'Damn. That girl must've token it. I've got to find her.' "Navi... Navi! we've got to find a girl namd Clearity. Can you ask the spirits where she would be?" Link asked her. But she still spins around him like mad ignoring him. "Navi! It's important! She has my wallet!" Link yelled at her.

Navi stopped... she looked at Link... there was a long pause...


"Don't get mad at me... she came from behind and just sat on my lap..." Link tried to explain.

She gives him an evil glare. "Alright... I'll ask them..."

"....." (pause)

"They said they say her in the well." Navi told him in a harsh voice.

"Thank you. Lets go catch her. " Link said. The two head to the well and Link looks down. He thought he could see down there. " Hey, why can't I see any thing?" Link asked.

"Your drunk you moron... jumped down and get your stupid bag." Navi tells him. Well, as much as Link was drunk and like the moron he is, he jumped merrily down into the well.

When he landed, Clearity asked, "Whose there?"

"It is I... Link." Link said. "Please can I have my wallet back?"

"No... I don't have your wallet..." She lie'd.

"Come on... be a good girl and give me my wallet." Link asked nicely.

"Only if you give me a kiss." Clearity said.

"No... I maybe drunk but I'm not stupid... I don't know what else you could try stealing from me. Now please, just give me my wallet..." Link held out his hand.




"I don't have time to fool around... please?" Link whined.


"I hate doing this to girls, but if it means to get my money back..." Link sighed. He leaped at Clearity graving her hand before she could stabb his stomach. She struggled to get free but Link had a tight hold of her wrist. Finally, Clearity gave up and gave Link his wallet. Link climbed back up the ladder and said to Navi, "I'm never going to get drunk again..."

The end.