The Origins Saga Part 2

Once on the other side of the door, the group began to sense that something was very wrong. "This isn't right," said Mox. "Why would Chrono Galloway allow us an easy passage into his lair?"

"Why didn't you say this EARLIER?" said Maria. Suddenly, the door slammed shut, as a solid metal barrier slid down in front of it. Several floor panels suddenly turned into grates, as a definately-poisonous gas filled the room. Maria, Sonic and Tails quickly began to cough and collapse, but Mox was strangely unaffected.

"Come on," he said. He then smashed another piece of ground, revealling a secret passage. Pushing the other three head-first down, he jumped in, as another metal plate slid in place.

They landed in a pile of rotten bodies. All around them were walls, covered with spikes. Only a single wooden door offered any escape. After they pulled themselves out of the pile, Mox kicked the door straight off its hinges.

The next room was filled with pulleys and other machinery. A small room was across from the entrance, with the exit apprantly located there.

"Something's not right," said Mox. "This is too easy."

"Don't worry!" said Sonic. "I went through here last time! There's no traps here!" He then dashed towards the exit. The second he reached the door, though, a loud click was heard, followed, by a metal door sliding down at the entrance.

"What's going on?" shouted Sonic. "This wasn't here last time!" Mox slapped his forehead and muttered, "Idiot."

Suddenly, the sound of something rushing from behind the metal doors alarmed them. "Help!" shouted Sonic. "Water! The room's filling with water!"

"So what?" shouted Mox. "What's wrong with getting a little wet?" Tails then flew up and whispered, "Sonic can't swim." Mox sighed, then fired a massive blast at the door. It dissipitated without causing so much as a scratch.

"Wait!" shouted Maria. She dashed to a small panel by the door. It contained a kind of sliding puzzle, along with some instructions that read:

"If you wish to save your friend, solve this puzzle. Otherwise, he drowns! Sincerely, Chrono Galloway."

"Sliding puzzles," grumbled Mox. "I hate those things." Everyone immediately began to fiddle with the puzzle. Finally, just when it seemed hopeless, and they had killed about three-quarters of their brain cells by thinking too hard, they solved it.

The sound of water draining echoed from behind the door. It slid open, but Sonic wasn't there. "Where'd he go?" asked Tails.

"Uh, guys," said a voice from behind. They turned, and saw Sonic, sitting on top of a crate. "I escaped about six seconds after getting stuck there. Someone had left an opening in the ceiling." They then looked at the instructions again, and saw some fine print:

"If you're an ally of mine, remember that there's an opening in the ceiling, in case a lackey is trapped."

"Anyway," said Sonic, "about that door..." He ran back into the first room, turned around, and dashed right back at the exit. When he was about six feet away from the door, he rolled into a ball and jumped, smashing the door into pieces.

Mox looked at the blue hedgehog with surprise. "He's fast," he muttered. "I'll have to kill him afterwards." The others were already continuing, so they didn't here his comment. He quickly followed.

THE END OF PART 36
If you didn't understand the puzzle, play Onimusha Warlords, try to solve the puzzle, and try to resist the temptation to slam your controller into the TV screen. The Origins Saga part 37: The Return of Kaizer

Chrono Galloway sat on his stone throne, playing with his golden staff (and no, it's not THAT!). He looked very much like Galloway, only about thirty years older, with several wrinkles and scars covering his face. He wore a black cloak, with silver armor and gauntlets. His staff itself was pure gold, with a gorgous gem headpiece. He simply sat, playing impatiently with the staff.

Finally, a blue light appeared. When it vanished, Kaizer stood there, his missing eye now covered with a black eyepatch. Chrono jumped to his feet and walked towards the doctor. "Father," he said, "they are coming. Why do you come here?"

"Simple, my son," said Kaizer. "Do you have the crystal?"

"The crystal?" said Chrono. He then remembered what Kaizer was talking about. "Of course! I just finished with him a couple days ago! He was a doozy, all right, but nothing a few uses of Backtime couldn't handle."

"Okay," said Kaizer. "Now, where is it?"

Suddenly, the Galloway from the hillside entered. He looked at Kaizer, surprised out of his mind. "Please, father," he said. "We must leave!"

"I already SAID that, moron!" shouted Chrono. "If you had the guts to kill that enchida when you had the chance..."

"I do not strike a helpless opponent," said the other Galloway. "He was already on his knees. There was no point in continuing."

"We are the most powerful in the universe," said Chrono, "and yet you don't kill anyone? You are nothing more than a coward!" The other Galloway just eyed him, not showing any sign of emotion.

"Stop this bickering!" shouted Kaizer. "Just hand over the crystal, Chrono! They will be here soon!"

Chrono tapped the head of his staff. A secret compartment opened, revealing a beautiful piece of crystal. Kaizer quickly pocketed it, then teleported away in another blue flash of light.

"Now, brother," said Chrono, turning his attention back to the other Galloway, "will you stay and help? Or will you simply run away like the coward you are?"

"I will stay," said the other Galloway, "but not because I simply wish to fight, like our fallen brothers did. I just know that Mox is coming, as well."

Chrono's eyes shot open in horror. "Mox? You mean...but, he went onto the rocks, right?"

"No," said the other Galloway. "He's very much alive. And so is our brother's daughter...and the hedgehog."

"Curses!" said Chrono. "This complicates things a bit. We have another group coming in from the front, which I forgot to trap. Mox is leading the group in the back, and they must have escaped my devious water trap. And the enchida is most certainly after you, brother. This will be a very difficult battle."

Suddenly, the front entrance to the room was smashed down. Azrael, Hane Dai and F. Galloway entered the room and struck hilarious fighting poses. Just then, the group from behind smashed down their door. Maria, Tails and Sonic made their way in, while Mox just stood in the doorway. Finally, Knuckles punched right through another wall, creating a THIRD way into the room.

The fight was about to begin.

THE END OF PART 37
What is the mysterious crystal Kaizer was after? How can our heroes defeat the combined might of TWO Galloways? Why is Mox so certain that Chrono Galloway cannot affect him? Who knows when the hell I'll get off my lazy ass and answer these questions? NOBODY!


The Origins Saga part 38: The Truth about Mox

"So," said Chrono, "you have all come to my beloved fortress in an attempt to defeat me. Very well, then. Face the wrath of Chrono Galloway, the master of all time!" Everyone frowned at how stupid his little speech was; even the other Galloway was not pleased with it. Finally, they attacked.

Azrael pulled out a six shooter and fired point-blank at Chrono Galloway. However, the would-be target raised his hand, and the bullets stopped completely. He then grabbed the bullets and flicked them back, just barely missing Azrael's neck several times. F. Galloway fired a few energy beams at him, but he knocked them back easily.

Hane Dai ran forward and tried to use a Cross-Slash, but just as she reached striking distance, Chrono dissapeared in a blur. He then re-appeared in another blur behind her and slammed her across the back of the neck with the staff, effectively knocking her out.

***

"Okay...Knuckles, was it?" said the other Galloway. "Why did you follow me here? You know you cannot win against me."

"You got lucky last time," said Knuckles. "I just got careless. Now we'll see who REALLY wins!"

Knuckles slammed the other Galloway in the head, sending it turning slightly. However, he immediately kicked Knuckles into the wall. He then pulled out a black katana and slashed, but Knuckles easily dodged.

The other Galloway analyzed Knuckles carefully. "This guy's tough," he thought. "This could take a while..."

***

F. Galloway charged forward, but Chrono Galloway froze her in time, slammed her repeatedly with his staff, then moved to the side and unfroze her. She slammed into the throne, and was quickly knocked out. Azrael fired a few more bullets, but Chrono dissapeared again and did the same thing he did to Hane Dai on Azrael.

"Well, now," he said, looking down at the three beaten heroes, "I guess I couldn't except more from losers like you. I suppose I could-" He then felt something slam into his back, sending him toppling forward. He turned, and saw Sonic standing over him.

"You!" he shouted. "I knew turning you into a kid wasn't enough! I just have to go farther this time!" Suddenly, Tails flew overhead and grabbed the staff. Chrono threw Sonic off and went after Tails, but Maria jump kicked him along the side of the face, sending him off-balance and into a wall.

Chrono quickly pulled himself out and raised his hand, freezing the three. He grabbed his staff, then unfroze them and blurred his way to the other side of the room. "You cannot defeat time!" he shouted. "It surrounds you. It penetrates you. It IS your very existance!"

"That's it!" shouted a familiar voice. Mox finally left the doorway and walked towards Chrono, his sword in hand. "I've had enough of this shit! Chrono Galloway, your time is up!"

"As much as I enjoy puns, oh great Morgan Xian," said Chrono, "I don't have time to play with you. Sure, you're all high and mighty right now, but let's see how a much younger you would handle this!"

Chrono raised his staff. A massive light filled the room. Smoke began to bellow out from all over. The sky turned dark, the sun and moon dissapeared, and everything was quiet. Mox quickly dissapeared in a massive cloud of smoke. Finally, after several minutes, it stopped. Everything returned to normal, except for the big cloud of smoke Mox had dissapeared in.

"Well?" said Chrono. "Do you still think you can win?" His answer came in the form of a heavy hand grabbing his neck. The smoke dissapeared, revealing an unchanged Mox.

"He was telling the truth," said Maria. "He really did have a nasty surprise."

"How?" Chrono choked out. "Time is unstoppable..."

"Not quite," said Mox. "You see, there are beings that are not affected by time in any way. They are vastly superior to the other puny races in every way; strength, speed, intelligence, everything. I am one of those. I am a Aragz-Skeri."

"A...what?" gasped Chrono.

Mox smiled. "A dark demon."

THE END OF PART 38
Weiila: Wait. Mox is a wizard...then an armored freak...then a ghost...and now he's a demon? Gallo, WHAT THE CRAP'S GOING ON?!
Galloway: More will be revealed later...


The Origins Saga part 39: Rapture

"A...what?" gasped Chrono Galloway.

"A dark demon," said Mox. "A high-ranking undead. If a mage with incredibly high power dies, and still has too many attachments to the mortal realm, he becomes a dark demon." However, Chrono Galloway had used the time to quickly blur himself away.

"I can still increase my movement time!" he shouted. "You can never defeat me!" He then blurred himself all over the place. The other Galloway looked at him with disdain, then turned his attention back to Knuckles.

Finally, Chrono stopped blurring around. He was now on the top of his fortress. He sat down, content that Mox could never find him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

He turned...and saw Mox standing overhead. He quickly stood up and raised his staff, but Mox thrusted his sword right into his chest. He then grabbed Chrono and slammed him back into the fortress.

Chrono returned to his feet, seemingly unhurt. "I can speed up the healing process, fool!" he shouted. "No matter how much damage you do to me, I can always come back!"

Mox jumped back into the room. "You're right," he said. "I cannot win using normal tactics. I guess I'll have to pull the big guns..." Chrono, however, was back to blurring around.

"I can just move faster this time!" he shouted. "I'm the master of time and space!" He then felt something slam right into his chest. He fell back to the ground, while Sonic uncurled and grabbed his staff, then ran off.

"You...damn...," began Chrono, until he noticed Mox channeling energy. His body was being surrounded by some kind of black aura, his hands were clutched, and his eyes were closed. Chrono quickly stood back up and blurred around again, hoping to dodge Mox's attack.

Mox's aura began to get darker. Finally, after a bit, he opened his eyes, now a dark black. He then moved his hands apart, revealing the glowing energy surrounding them. "Time to end this," he said, unknowingly using ANOTHER pun. He slammed his fist into the ground.

"What the hell's he trying to do?" said Chrono. Then he fell forward as something wrapped on his leg from behind. Turning, he saw a long iron chain portruding from the ground and latched onto his ankle. Suddenly, another chain broke out of the ground and grabbed his other ankle. Two more chains then appeared and wrapped around his wrists. Then he began to rise.

Mox pulled his arms back, then thrusted them forward one last time, then shouted, "Rapture!" A chain broke out of the ground and drilled right through Chrono's torso, removing his heart. This was followed by a massive series of explosions, shocks, and other stuff that was cool, yet cannot be described in written form. When it was all over, not a trace of Chrono Galloway's body was to be found.

The other Galloway looked on in sheer anger. "You bastard! You murdered my brother!" He then turned back to Knuckles, who was mere seconds away from punching him in the gut. He grabbed the enchida's arm and tossed him right through Chrono Galloway's throne.

"I will leave for now," he said, "but mark my words. There will be hell to pay for this." He then dissapeared through a blue portal. By this point, though, almost everyone was too tired to care.

THE END OF PART 39
Weiila: Why was Chrono's death so lame?
Galloway: Because I was tired when I wrote this, and I needed to wrap things up. It looked cooler in my head, anyway.
Weiila: Oh.


The Origins Saga part 40: Burning Down the House!

"Okay," said Mox, after everyone had rested, "we have two things we need here. The first thing is the Dragonball, naturally. The second thing is the Time Crystal."

"Time Crystal?" asked Maria. "What's that?"

"It's a piece of crystal that stores temporal anomalies," said Mox. "Even with his power, Chrono Galloway couldn't make Sonic younger without something to contain the excess energy. If we find it, we can return him to normal."

"You sound unusually charitable today," said Azrael. "From what Galloway told us, you're a lying, scheming, backstabbing, malicious, fraudulent, cheating, never-done-a-good-thing-in-his-life kind of guy."

Mox let out a huge grin. "I have my reasons. Now let's get looking!"

Everyone immediately fanned out around the fortress, checking every nook and cranny. However, no sign of either objects appeared. Mox, staying in the throne room, punched a nearby wall, smashing open a secret panel. Inside, on a beautiful cushin, was the four-star Dragonball.

"That's one down," said Mox. "Now to find the crystal..." He then spied the staff, the one thing left of Chrono besides his fortress of doom and unpleasant stuff.

"That's right," he said. "He had a crystal in there when he and his fellow goons attacked me in the alley! Maybe that's the one he used..." He grabbed the staff and tore the headpiece open. There was nothing inside.

Just then, everyone returned. "We couldn't find anything," said Tails. "It's like they just dissapeared off the face of the earth."

"I found the Dragonball," said Mox, "but it looks like the crystal might be gone. Kaizer or that other Galloway must have taken it."

"They knew we were coming," said Hane. "They though we were all trying to help Sonic."

"Anyway," said Mox, "let's leave. But first, let's tear this place apart!" Everyone got out of their deep blue funk and began to punch, smash, and spin holes throughout the tower and general fortress. When it had enough holes in it to resemble a large, metallic piece of swiss cheese, they all gathered on top of the hill, where Mox and F. Galloway fired blasts at what was left until it was nothing more than a bunch of scrap metal.

"Well," said Maria, turning to Tails, "I guess this is goodbye..."

"Hardly!" said Tails. "I'm not stopping until Sonic is back to normal! I'm going back with you!"

"And I'm coming to!" shouted Sonic. "I'm gonna get those guys for this!"

Everyone waited for Knuckles to say something, but he had already walked away. Mox sat down and began to meditate.

***

Galloway was cleaning his cereal bowl when he heard Mox's voice ring in his head. "Bring us back now."

"Mox?" asked Galloway. "Where are you?"

"I'm using ESP, you idiot!" said Mox. "We finished our mission. We have the Dragonball. Now, bring us back, or I'll rip through the dimensions and tear your limbs off!"

"Fine, fine," said Galloway. "You don't have to threaten me." He went to the Dimensional Portal-thingy and activated it.

THE END OF PART 40
Weiila: No codec?
Galloway: Mox said he'd slaughter my daughter if I drilled into his skull.
F. Galloway: Maybe I should have tried that...


The Origins Saga part 41: Another Future Guy

When they came back, Galloway decided to let the machine cool down. Apparantly, it ran under Windows XP, and it was on for so long that the OS began to crash.

(Note: Windows XP sucks, but Linux sucks even more.)

After everyone had introduced each other to Sonic, everyone decided to take a quick nap. Maria quickly snuck out the back of the bunker before Galloway could see her.

***

"Okay," she thought, "my daddy's a bit of an idiot. So what?"

She looked over the water. It calmed down her nerves, and seemed to heal the few injuries she had taken in the battle with Chrono. She sighed, then saw down.

"Hey, what's with the face?" said a voice from behind. She turned...and saw Kaizer standing over her, a gun pointed to her head. "This should shake up d Galloway a bit. Serves him right for betraying us."

Suddenly, another figure dashed by, grabbing the gun out of Kaizer's hand. When he stopped, they were able to make out his features. It was a boy, just a little older than Maria. He had brown hair, cat-like eyes, and claws on each hand. Kaizer looked at him, noticing that something familiar was about his face.

"You...you must be..." he began. He then teleported away in a panic. The boy turned back to Maria.

"Are you all right, Maria?" he asked, kneeling down next to her. Maria studies her rescuers; his cat eyes, his cat ears, and the cat claws on each hand.

"How...how'd you get here?" she asked. "Didn't you die when GOD killed your parents?"

"I was coming to get you," he said. "I was about to pull you away from GOD when some green light appeared. Next thing I knew, I was in this wierd time."

"It's not really wierd," she said, "just really stupid."

"I know," he said, laughing a bit. "Did you know they barely have DVD-RWs? And everything's copy protected? And Wertigon hasn't plunged Sweden into complete chaos?"

"I know!" said Maria. "I mean, really, what's taking them so long? They haven't even perfected the electric car yet! Maybe it's true that the oil companies controlled the world!" They both rolled back and laughed.

Then Maria noticed something flying overhead. Galloway landed behind her, but his gaze was more on the boy. He jumped to his feet, then looked up at Galloway.

"I-I'm sorry!" he stammered. "I swear I didn't touch her! I didn't even get close to her! Please, don't kill me!" Galloway looked at him with surprise.

"Just what the hell are you talking about?" he said. The boy's expression changed to one of surprise. "Nothing," he said. "I meant nothing. It was only a joke, sensei!"

"Sensei?" asked Galloway. "I'm only training Maria right now. You must be confusing me with someone else."

"Uh..." he began, then turned to run away. Galloway quickly grabbed his shoulder.

"Just who are you?" he asked.

"GALLOWAY, CRAP IT!" shouted Weiila, as she landed next to him. "We have to plan this out! I don't want to work with Mox any longer than I have to!" Starstorm then jumped from the water, his fur VERY wet.

Galloway looked back at the boy, then at both Weiila and Starstorm's faces. Using his mind, he compared the faces.

"Okay," said Weiila, "who's the new brat?"

"This, unless I'm mistaken," said Galloway, "is your son."

THE END OF PART 41
Weiila: AAAAAAAAAH! *has a heart attack and dies, then is revived by Val*


The Origins Saga part 42: The Son of Starstorm

"Say...say what?!" shouted Weiila. "That can't be my kid!"

"He looks like you and Star," said Galloway, "he called me sensei for some reason, and I'm pretty sure he knows I'm Maria's father. It just adds up."

"Well," said the boy, "you do look a bit like mom and dad..."

"But how could he get here?" asked Star. "We know Maria used the Digipad, but that's the only one in existance."

"I tried to get Maria away from GOD," he said. "Whatever this 'Digipad' thing is must have activated just before I grabbed her. Next thing you know, I'm here."

Weiila looked at him, her eyes betraying her disbelief. "I still don't get something. Why did you call Galloway sensei?"

"Well," said the boy, "he's kinda training me in the future, since he kicked dad's ass about eighty times in a row."

"Bah!" shouted Star. "I can kick Galloway's ass any day of the week! Watch!" He pounced at Galloway, only to get knocked back about 100 yards by Galloway's pinky finger. He got back up and ran back, filled with rage.

"Yep," said the boy, barely able to keep from laughing, "that's dad all right." Starstorm barely held his urge to kill the boy.

"So," said Weiila, "what's your name?"

The boy stopped laughing. He looked away in shame. "K...Kerr."

Weiila, Star and Galloway both laughed their asses off. After regaining their composure, Weiila said, "What the hell were we thinking? Who in their right mind would name their kid Kerr?"

"You told me," said Kerr, "that dad wasn't at the delivery room, since he had a freak accident involving a semi truck, and you were delirious from the labor pains and anasthetic, so you just named me Kerr so you could go home."

Weiila stopped laughing completely. "Oh," she said. "Oops. What happened to the other Kerr, anyway?"

"Sensei killed him," said Kerr. "You didn't want any confusion, so you hired him to kill the other Kerr and seal him in Hell for all eternity. Unfortunately, he still breaks out for birthday parties and holidays."

"Ooookay," said Weiila, "this is getting pretty crapped up."

"Yeah, he's wierd," said Maria, "but I like him anyway."

"So, you're friends?" asked Galloway.

"Well, kinda..." she said. "You see, we're...intimate."

"WHAT?!" shouted Galloway, his father-sense kicking in. "You...you haven't...you know..."

"You mean, have sex?" asked Maria. "No, not yet." Galloway let out a sigh of relief, until Maria finished what she was saying. "He DID kinda see me naked once, though."

Galloway fainted from the sheer amount of rage he was experiencing.

THE END OF PART 42
Galloway: Okay, Maria. You're grounded until you're eighteen.
Maria: Daddyyyyyyy!


The Origins Saga part 43: The Third Vision

Galloway drifted in and out of his mind. His whole conciousness felt like it was being pulled to and fro by a massively powerful force. Then he realized that he had just fainted out of pure rage at what Weiila's son had done.

Suddenly, he found himself back in the hospital from before. He was in the room where all the babies were being kept by Kaizer before, only now, the beds were all empty. Kaizer sat in the far corner, looking at a computer screen. Two other scientists stood behind him, as well as four goons armed with silenced pistols.

"Most of the subjects died off," said Kaizer. "Only about twenty are still alive."

"I told you the cellular reaction would not be kind," said one of the scientists. "This kind of genetic engineering is very risky, as you well know."

"Of course," said Kaizer, "but it's necessary that the True One be found. GOD must be born."

"Out of curiosity," said the other scientist, "what is it with you and the birth of this 'GOD'?"

Kaizer turned around. "GOD will be the ultimate being. The most powerful thing to have ever existed. He will be the fate of the multiverse. All will be carved in his image, and through that, MY image!"

"But, if he really is so powerful," said one of the scientists, "could he possibly be dangerous? What if he goes mad?"

"I do not like the moral implications of this experiment," said the other scientist. "I'm hereby leaving this organization." The other nodded his head in agreement.

"Of course, gentlemen," said Kaizer, his tone now VERY sarcastic. "You can leave if you wish." He then snapped his fingers. The thugs raised their weapons and shot both scientists through the head about eight times.

"Now to send out the Orb," said Kaizer. Just as things were getting interesting, though, Galloway felt himself being pulled back to reality.

THE END OF PART 43
Galloway: Short chappy, but still has foreshadowing...or is it backshadowing...my head hurts...


The Origins Saga part 44: Oh, Dear God...

"Is he okay?" asked Kerr, leaning dangerously close to Galloway. Suddenly, the faintee jumped back to conciousness and began to strangle Kerr.

"Daddy!" shouted Maria. "It was all a big misunderstanding! I can explain it later!" Galloway begrudgingly releasede Kerr.

"Okay, Kerr," said Star, "would you like to join us? We're on a quest to stop a bunch of evil Galloways throughout space and time." Kerr thought about it for a while, then nodded in agreement.

***

After returning to the bunker and introducing Kerr, Galloway set the controls for the next world. Weiila, Kerr, Poke, Shalcar, and Sapphire were picked to go through this little adventure. Maria tried to sneak in again, but Galloway grabbed her and took her back down to the holodeck.

The small group bravely ventured through the portal.

***

When they landed, they were in a big, green field with green trees all around. Strangely, there was practically no people around.

"Wow," said Kerr, "that felt great! It felt like I was rubbing against a woman's chest!"

Weiila looked at him, her eyes wide with horror. "So YOU were what was bumping into me!" Kerr's face became flushed with horror, followed by him dry heaving on the ground.

"Now that the random crap is done," said Shalcar, "let's find out where we are."

Suddenly, a strange thing scampered towards them. It was a short, fat guy, with a disfigured face, white skin, a blue shirt, and a yellow derby.

"Yaaaaaah, hello there, Reggie," said the guy. "Is your Rhinocerous around?"

Sapphire raised an eyebrow. "What the..."

"Yaaaaaah, I was raised by a cup of coffee," said the guy.

"Okay, my IQ is dropping just by being in the presence of this guy," said Weiila.

"Yeah, I think gnawing my own leg off would be a more better use of my time," said Kerr. He then began to realize his english error.

"Yaaaaaah, I'm a song from the sixties," said the guy.

"That's it!" shouted Poke. "It's time we ended this!"

Suddenly, another guy showed up from the other side. It was another short guy. He had a big head that was completely covered with a Mexican-style wrestling mask. He also had red boxing gloves, black pants, and no shirt.

"Holy crap!" he shouted. "Who the heck are you guys?"

It slowly sank in where they were. They all let out a scream of suffering.

THE END OF PART 44
Where are they? Come on, it's obvious!


The Origins Saga part 45: More Junk

"What the crap are you screaming about?" asked the wrestling guy. "Haven't you ever seen such a handsome hunk like me before?"

"Just what the crap's going on?" asked Weiila. Then she realized what she had just said.

"What do you mean, 'just what the crap's going on'," said the wrestling guy. "You're a bunch of freaks standing in the middle of a clearing!"

"Yaaaaaaah, I'm the pride of the peaches!" said the short guy.

"Yeah, whatever," said the wrestling guy. "Hey, let me introduce myself, as if I needed to. I'm Strong Bad, the whole reason anyone in this entire world wants to exist."

"Yaaaaaaah, hey Reggie, I'm Homsar," said the short guy.

"Shut up!" shouted Strong Bad.

"Well, now that we know you have a ego big enough to engulf a town," said Kerr, "why don't we get moving along?"

"Yeah, whatever," said Strong Bad. "Just stay here. I'm going to bash in Homsar's face." He then chased Homsar off into the woods.

"This is one crappy world," said Shalcar. "I want to jump off a building just to end the pain."

"Well," said Sapphire, "at least Mox isn't around."

"Homsar isn't much better," said Poke. "I mean, the guy is completely and utterly crazy. We can't stay here for very long, or we'll lose our sanity."

"Okay, let's just sit tight," said Kerr. "I'm sure Strong Bad will be back to insult us some more." They then sat down and laid down.

***

"Holy crap!" said a heavily-accented voice in the distance. "Hey, the chort, what do ya suppose those guys are?" A strange series of high-pitched sounds followed.

THE END OF PART 45
Kerr: Mom, do you love me?
Weiila: Well, you're a horny teenage pervert, and am obviously from Star's ilk, but I still love you.
Kerr: Yay! Mom loves me! *pounces Weiila*


The Origins Saga part 46: The Search for the evil Galloway

After a while of waiting, Strong Bad finally came back. "That guy ran off!" he shouted. "I was about to get crazy-go-nuts on him!"

"Well, whatever," said Weiila. "We just need to find some evil Galloway guy."

"You mean, THAT guy?" asked Strong Bad. "I know about him. He's been driving us nuts ever since he got here. He's holed up in the King of Town's castle."

The small group quickly smiled. This might be over quickly...

***

A tall guy with white skin, a propellor beanie, and a red shirt with a star was standing around in a clearing somewhere. "Just where is everybody?" he asked in a voice that would drive anyone to insanity.

Just then, a high-pitched voice came from behind. "They'll be joining you soon!" A net then went around the guy, dragging him off.

***

Strong Bad led the little group over hill and the dusty trail, until they reached an insanely stupid-looking purple castle, with a large tongue for a drawbridge.

"All right, kingy!" shouted Strong Bad. "Come on out!"

A short, fat guy with a marshmallow-like head, a Burger King-like crown, and a long red robe walked out of the castle. "Hello, Strong Bad!" he said. "How's it going today?"

Strong Bad face-palmed himself to the best of his ability. "Look, King of Town, we just want to know where that brat of an evil guy is. So please, go away and leave us alone for the rest of eternity."

"Oh...he's not here," said the King of Town. "He left the castle about a day ago. He said he's going to take over Strong Badia."

"Okay-" began Strong Bad, until he realized what the King had just said. "Holy crap!"

***

A fat guy with a white head, grey body, elephant-like feet, and a general aura of depression watched as a series of tanks rolled into Strong Badia. "He's not going to be happy about this," he said.

THE END OF PART 46
Weiila: We don't need to look for an evil Galloway! He's right here! *grabs Galloway*

The Origins Saga part 47: The Next Galloway

"Quick!" shouted Strong Bad. "We need your army!"

"Sorry," said the King of Town. "I sent them out to get me some chinese. The other take-out place refuses to serve me ever again."

"Holy crap!" shouted Strong Bad. "Now I have to get my own army!" He then ran off, along with the rest of the group (save the King of Town, who went back inside the castle to eat about seven hundred chocolate cakes).

***

"Okay, I'll go get everyone together," said Strong Bad. "You guys go deal with that brat! He's probably at Strong Badia already!" He then ran off, leaving the group to find Strong Badia by themselves. Fortunately, there was a sign right in front of them that pointed them in the direction, so they quickly followed.

When they reached Strong Badia, tanks had crushed almost all opposition: the tire was behind bars, the stop sign was lying on the ground in a pool of water, and the cinder block had been chipped on one side. The fence was also smashed apart. Strangely, everything was quiet; the tanks had completely stopped functioning.

Suddenly, a high-pitched voice echoed out from inside one of the tanks. "Freeze! You are under arrest!" A net fired out of one of the tanks, trapping the group.

The top of the tank opened, revealing the last thing they would expect an evil Galloway to be. He looked exactly like the good Galloway, with a little less hair and such, but that wasn't the big difference. Rather, it was THE FACT THAT IT WAS A BLOODY EIGHT-YEAR-OLD KID VERSION OF GALLOWAY!

"Heh heh heh," said the kid Galloway. "I've got you know! Father's gonna be pleased!" Then he noticed something. He had seen five people, but there were four under the net...

"Hey, you!" shouted Weiila, as she grabbed the kid Galloway by his leg and held him upside-down. "Just what the hell is this? You have a lot of explaining to do!"

"Let me down, old hag!" shouted the kid Galloway. Weiila's eyes quickly became bright red. She then beat up the kid Galloway for a bit, but due to controversial reasons, we cannot show that at this time.

Finally, the kid Galloway broke down crying. "Please!" he shouted. "Let me down! My blood's going into my head! I can't see! It's all going black! I've gotta make out my will!"

"God crap it, you're annoying," sighed Weiila. She then released the kid Galloway, sending him plummeting onto his head. She then finally released everyone from the net. However, the five seconds her back was turned was enough for the kid Galloway to grab a remote and send an entire series of nets onto the group, this time with little barbs attached to them.

"You're stupid!" he said. "Now you're my prisoners! Nobody escapes the wrath of Chibi Galloway!"

THE END OF PART 47
Weiila: DAMN IT! *kills Galloway*
Galloway: I didn't call you an old hag! Chibi Galloway did!
Weiila: Who cares? I've just become homicidal lately! Watch! *kills Starstorm*

The Origins Saga part 48: Gathering the Army

Strong Bad made his way to a small house on the outskirts of a small neighborhood. He pounded on the door, shouting, "Marzipan! Let me in!"

A woman with blonde hair, a carrot-like body, no arms, and a purple skirt opened the door. "What is it, Strong Bad?" she asked.

"Marzipan, Strong Badia has been taken over!" said Strong Bad. "We must gather our forces together and kick the crap out of him!"

"Is this a joke, Strong Bad?" asked Marzipan. "I'm not in the mood right now. I need to tune Carol-" Suddenly, a tank shell blew threw her window. It slammed into a small guitar, blowing it to pieces.

Marzipan's eyes turned dark red, as her pupils became balls of fire. "CAROL!" she shouted. She jumped onto the tank that was rolling towards her house and tore it apart, then kicked the driver to the moon.

"HOLY CRAP!" shouted Strong Bad. "Where'd that come from?"

"I'll help you!" said Marzipan. "Now let's go!"

***

Strong Bad next arrived at a hill. A strange thing with a tennis ball-like body, little orange stubs for arms and legs, and an orange head, was looking at the wave of tanks that were driving towards Crazy-Go-Nuts University.

"Hey, Pom Pom!" shouted Strong Bad. "We need your help to drive off that brat!" Pom Pom turned around and let out a series of bleeps and bloops, which seemed to mean some kind of agreement.

***

Strong Bad's next stop was CGNU itself. He ran to the locker room, where a guy with a green body, clown feet and hands, a white head and a backwards baseball cap was eating some curly fries.

"Hey, Coach Z!" shouted Strong Bad. "We need your help!"

"Hey there, Strong Bad!" said Coach Z. "How's it goin'?" A tank shell then blew open a part of the wall, knocking open several lockers, one of which contained a diminutive, yellow thing that defied description.

"The chort!" shouted Coach Z. "We have to get out of here!"

"Quick, to the hilltop!" shouted Strong Bad. "The Cheat, join us there when you can!" Strong Bad and Coach Z then ran off, followed closely by the Cheat, who was making a bunch of wierd noises.

***

The King of Town's army returned to the castle. In actuallity, the army was just one guy. He had a brown body, a white head, and brown gloves. He also emitted a stench that defied any description. The King of Town walked out of his castle.

"Where's my chinese food?" asked the King of Town. The army sighed, then showed him a sign that read, "All the restraunts have been closed."

The King of Town nearly exploded from the rage he felt. "We must find Strong Bad!" he shouted. "This brat must be stopped!"

***

"Strong Sad!" shouted a giant guy with wrestling spandex, no neck, and enough muscle to engulf three-thirds of the multiverse. "Fight!"

"What the crap are you talking about, Strong Mad?" asked Strong Sad. Strong Mad then grabbed him and jumped through the window. They landed in Strong Badia, which was now swarming with tanks and robotic soldiers.

"We're doomed," sighed Strong Sad.

THE END OF PART 48
Galloway: Can Weiila and co. escape the evil chibi me? Will Strong Badia be saved? Tune in next time, same Gallo-time, same Gallo-channel!

The Origins Saga part 49: Evil's Playground

Weiila woke up to find herself chained to a metal wall. Approximately twenty feet away, her friends were trapped in a big, metal cage, which was suspended over a large, fiery pit. Chibi Galloway's annoying laugh echoed throughout the whole place.

"Welcome to my underground lair!" he shouted. "I hope you enjoy yourself. I know I will!"

"What the hell's wrong with you, kid?" shouted Weiila. "Come out here!"

"Tsk tsk," said Chibi Galloway. "That's not how the game is played. As you can see, I have your friends. If you do not do as I say, they will be dropped into the pit."

"...you're crazy, kid," shouted Weiila. "You know that, right?"

"Well, DUH!" shouted Chibi Galloway. "Anyway, I will be releasing you soon. At that point, you will do exactly as I say, or your friends die!"

Weiila's shackles opened, and the chains flew back into the wall. She ran towards her friends, but was blown back when she was within five feet of them. When she got back up, a blue field was in her way.

"My very own force field," said Chibi Galloway. "You cannot get past it. Now, shall we begin?"

A wall slid open, revealing another hallway. "Enter the hall," said Chibi Galloway. "My finger's over the fiery death switch..." Weiila quickly bolted to the hallway.

***

When she reached the end, a wall slid over the hallway. The room she was in had the appearance of a giant maze.

"I know what you're thinking?" said Chibi Galloway. "You think this room has the appearance of a giant maze, right? Well, that's exactly what it is! If you can reach the end, I promise I will release your friends. If you die along the way, they'll all die. It's that easy."

"You're the biggest brat I've ever met," said Weiila.

"AM NOT!" shouted Chibi Galloway.

"Whatever," muttered Weiila. "Let's get this over with." She then entered the long maze of death.

THE END OF PART 49
Weiila: That kid's an annoying brat...*goes to kill Galloway for once being that kid*

The Origins Saga part 50: The Maze

Weiila smiled. "I can fly out of here, you know!" she shouted.

"No, you can't!" shouted Chibi Galloway. A blue fog floated on the top of the maze, with electricity crackling inside of it. "If you touch that fog," said Chibi Galloway, "you'll be deep fried before you can say 'bang'! That thing is flowing with millions of volts of electricity! It's surrounding the entrance, too; the only way to escape is to find the exit!"

"...I now REALLY hate you, kid!" shouted Weiila.

"Oh yeah? Well, I HATE YOU TOO!" shouted Chibi Galloway.

Weiila sighed, then continued down a long passage, which led to a circular room with a left and right exitway, as well as a sword lying in the middle of the room. Weiila didn't use swords, but since she was whipless and didn't know attack spells, she needed SOMETHING to use. She walked towards the sword and pulled it out of the ground.

A terrifying roar echoed throughout the maze as a result. Weiila turned, and saw a giant wolf leaping towards her. She quickly raised her sword in defense, and the wolf fell right on top of it, killing it instantly.

Sighing, Weiila kicked the corpse off the sword and went down the right exit. She saw a large book lying in the middle of another circular room. When she went to examine it, though, a giant hand that looked like it was ripped straight out of a Legend of Zelda game fell from the ceiling. Weiila stabbed it, and it died instantly.

She then continued down another series of passages, until she found a large gap. Suddenly, she felt a biting pain on her leg, as a red welt appeared on her thigh. Another bite hit her arm, accompanied by a loud crack. Weiila recognized it immediately; it was the sound of a whip...

She turned, but didn't see anything. Another bite hit her cheek. Whatever was doing this had to be invisible. Two more bites hit her hand and foot. Then she had an idea. She quickly used a Cure spell on her invisible attacker. the tinkling effect moved around the attacker's body as it was moving around. She quickly thrusted her sword through the chest of the target.

The enemy suddenly became visible. It had hundreds of scars and scratches, cat-like eyes, and a mouth that was sewed shut. Weiila felt almost sorry for it, until she remembered that it had tried to kill her five seconds before. She then took a silver whistle from around its neck and kicked it into the gap, which now had a long, narrow steel beam spanning it.

Now on the other side, Weiila went through another several passages. She then reached a small chamber with a large statue. An inscription read, "Answer the riddle, or die." The statue then began ot talk:

"My daughter has many sisters, as many sisters as she has brothers, but each brother has twice as many sisters as they have brothers. So tell me, wussy mage, how many sons and daughters do I have?"

THE END OF PART 50
Can Weiila solve the riddle? Will she be able to escape the maze in time to save her friends and perverted son? Stay tuned!