The RPG News Team
by JFGemini
Episode 1: The Tryouts
All morning long Gemini has been hosting auditions for various RPG characters to be a part of the RPGNT (RPG News Team). about 10, maybe 20 various characters actually auditioned, Gemini could only take 4, though. Here were how some tryouts went. When Gemini called in the first person, a ten-year old child appeaars with a laser gun in her pocket.
Lucca had wanted to be the science and health news anchor. Gemini had stated before the audition that there were only four spots. Gemini and Lucca had argued for several hours befor Lucca had finally submitted to Gemini's torture.
All of a sudden, a tall, western looking man appears. He has an arsenal of gns, guns, and what else? more guns. He relaxes on the wall and then introduces himself as Great Joe. Gemini asked Great Joe for a story that he would have written. Great Joe had handed Gemini a multi-page story about guns and violence. Gemini had thought that the story was too adult, until Great Joe had pointed out Sora, Jr., and Vivi in the waiting room.
In truth, Jr. was 26 years old, Vivi has been through a lot, and Sora was just made for a Disney/Square combo game. All of a sudden, Gemini boots Great Joe out of the room, and Sora had been called in next. Great Joe realized that he had not made it, and tried to shoot Gemini. Gemini dodged the shot and Etnie Blasted Joe out of the room.
Gemini went back into buisiness and saw Sora's story. It was a Kingdom Hearts box. Gemini laughed at the idea and let Sora in. He had then mentioned that buyers in RPG Town would buy the game, and at least try it. Many more auditions are made, and the four that make it are...
Episode 2: The Results are in!
Gemini looked over the results of the résumés given by the various RPG Characters. He then Anounnced the winners, which were:
Main Anchor: Cloud from FF7!
Co- anchor : Sora from Kingdom Hearts! (See episode 1 on why he made it.)
Weatherman: Jr. From Xenosaga!
Sports Anchor: Wakka from FFX!
Gemini: The rest of you will experience dissapointment as well as a visit to the Land of Depression!
Guard Cyborgs escort the non-winners out of the studio.
Gemini: Let's get started! in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1?
*A runaway Zerg leaps on Gemini's Back.*
Gemini: What? Kerrigan wanted to audition but I wouldn't let her because she's not and RPG character.
Kerrigan: Yes, and now, this studio will soon be infested.
Gemini: Looks like I have to fight!
Kerrigan: Kill Him!
Lots of Zerg rush in the building, destroying everything in sight. The RPG Characters and Gemini try to fight but are forced out of the studio after five minutes. Kerrigan then takes over the studio by saying, "Ha Ha! This is no longer RPG News! This is now Zerg Central!"
Gemini runs to the FF Break room next door and uses the phone to call some friends of his. All of a sudden the King of Town and Mr. T show up at the scene.
Mr. T: Where is this Kerrigan Foo!
Gemini: Inside there. *Points to the studio*
King of Town: Why am I here?
Gemini: to stop Kerrigan, I saw what you did to her in My brother's fic!
King of Town: Do you want me to do that again?
Gemini: Mr. T will take care of everything.
Mr. T goes inside the studio to take care of Kerrigan. They go into a battle that only lasts five seconds. After Mr. T throws Kerrigan helluva far, Kerrigan ends up on Char where she belongs.
Back at the Studio, Everything is a mess, there's broken tables, glass all over, disgusting piles of who knows, and other stuff that makes places like news studios dirty. Gemini tells everyone that the place needs to be clean up before any news can be reported.
This ends episode 2:
Viewer: When are they going to make news?
Gemini: Next episode perhaps?
Episode 3: How a "Normal" News Show Would Run.
The RPG characters as well as Gemini and the King of Town has cleaned up the studio from what Kerrigan and the Zerg caused a couple days ago. There was new flooring, new, comfortable chairs for the Anchors and Guests that will appear, A large, glass table, and a Blue Screen for Jr. to do his weather reports.
The anchors were getting ready to present the news to viewers like you. All of a sudden Gemini said, " We'll start in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1."
Cloud: Welcome to RPG News! I'm Cloud Strife.
Sora: And I'm Sora.
Cloud: Yesterday five people were killed in a car crash in Galbadia. Ten people were injured, and we have a guest with us to share his opinion.
Gemini notices that the guest is not here. He all of a sudden...
Gemini: Stop! Cloud, the guest is not here yet! Go to the next story!
Outside, Squall is walking towards the studio. He had a backstage pass to be a guest on the show to share his input in the car crash. The Guard Cyborgs thought he was a moron, so they wouldn't let him in, even with a backstage pass.
Meanwhile, inside, the weather report was starting and Jr. was too short for the camera, so he jumped into his A. G. W. S. to do the weather report. Gemini didn't want any machines to do anything, except to act as studio guards, so He said, "Jr. You can get out of your A. G. W. S.. If the camera is too high, we can lower it." Jr. then gets out of the mech and the camera gets lowered to a height that's tall enough for Jr.. He then gets started by announcing, "Today here at RPG News we have a high of 78 and a low of 67. Very nice weather." Gemini interrupts and mentions that there are more areas inthe world besides this studio.
With the weather report ending, and not enough time to finish the news. Gemini ends the show by saying, " Thank you for watching RPG news. I know we haven't said all we were going to say, but we ran out of time! we only get a half hour block."
With that, Episode 3 ends
Viewer: I didn't like that at all.
Gemini: Sorry, but this is my very first fanfic, and I am still learning. Besides, my brother Galloway writes a lot of better stuff.
Episode 4: Buying More Time
Gemini noticed that a half-hour was not long enough for the RPG characters to report the news, so he thought of a wonderful idea to try and buy more time for the show. The news show was also getting bad reviews from the viewers like an F an a school report card.
It was 10:30 at night and the newscasters except Gemini were sound asleep in the quarters inside the studio. The Guard Cyborgs were out and armed (and dangerous.) Gemini had just hired a new chief of security, one with huge guns that could destroy a major city like RPG Town (The City where RPG News Team Takes Place.) The one with long, blue hair and red eyes. Her name? KOS-MOS.
All of a sudden the alarm goes off. Someone is here that shouldn't be here. Wakka was the first to get up. He threw his blitzball at the alarm to shut it off, and before you know it, the intruder fled.
Besides it was 11 by now, and another bad news show was starting. Cloud started the news and said, "The RPG News Studio has been broken into just now and investigators are what else? investigating. They have found no casualties and few breakdowns of a few GC's outside."
Gemini went outside to talk with the investigators and was saying, " Nobody really knows who broke in tonight, all that I know was that it was someone stupid because they knew I was still up."
Wakka then started the sports report, "Here are today's Blitzball scores! Besaid beat Kilika 10-2, The Al Bhed beat the Guado 6-4, and Luca beat the Ronso 5-4! that is all the sports today.
Cloud then finished the news by saying, "*In Porky Pig voice* *Stuttering* That's all folks!"
It seems like there's a case on our hands, and the authorities gave us an extra half hour because of the break-in coverage. We'll see what happens next in Episode 5!
Episode 5: Catching the Intruder
The next night the same thing happened again, only it was the broken glass that got everyone's attention. Someone wanted to destroy RPG News, (Probably because of how bad it is.) The force was strong enough to wipe out about 100 Guard Cyborgs. This time he was spotted though, Gemini had installed searchlight cameras to be silent witnesses.
The intruder had rainbow hair, a squeak nose, and LOTS of makeup on his face. It looked like he was a clown of some sort. Gemini woke up, went outside, and saw the clown's car. The License Plate had two blank spots, an H, one blank,then a C, then two more blanks.
Sora, Cloud, Jr. , and Wakka were inside, just waking up when the clown had fired a shot from his clown gun. It broke the glass in the kitchen window behind the studio. Sora and Cloud got their weapons ready and prepared for battle, but the clown had fled.
Back at the clown's car Gemini had seen the clown come towards him and his car. He was ready to leave. All of a sudden, he saw Gemini looking at his car. It took two seconds to realize that Gemini had seen the owner of the car in his face. Gemini asked, "Who are you?"
The clown responded, "I am your doom!"
"I don't tink that's your name, now what is it?"
"They call me, the Happy Clown."
"Whatever Happy Clown, you're under arrest for breaking in entry."
"I refuse arrest by YOU, you're not even a police officer."
"Well I could get one."
Gemini gets out a cell phone while the RPG characters rush to keep Happy Clown busy. Gemini is calling the police department to arrest Happy Clown. It turns out at the police station that the police are drinking beers and beers and more beers. They're also eating lots of pizza.
Happy Clown is fighting the RPG characters, and kicking their butts. Sora and Cloud keep charging at him while Jr. and Wakka are far range. Happy Clown is using mucho magic against the heroes.
Gemini, devastated by the police's response, decides to join into the battle. Happy Clown realizes Gemini's strength and soon drives off, leaving a note. The note said, "If you want this brown, spiky haird kid back, you'll have to beat me! Huh Huh Huh Huh!
Gemini thought Happy Clown's laugh was stupid, and so He and the Heroes, minus Sora because the clown took him away, drive off to the sunset
Episode 5 has gone to an end with these words.
Viewer: Will they save Sora?
Gemini: You bet.
Episode 6: Savin' Sora
Once Gemini, Jr., Cloud, and Wakka went into the car, they started driving into downtown RPG Town. Partway to Happy Clown's Circus, the team stopped at Tia's Clothing Store. Our heroes didn't buy much because they were in a hurry. they then dashed quickly into Gemini's car.
Once reaching the Circus, Gemini and everyone else (Jr. inturrupts and says Hey!) stepped out of the black Mercedes-Benz and stepped into the circus. Of course they had to pay a hefty sum of 100 gil each to get into the place. after they got their wallets thinned up a bit, the heroes get indide just in time for the first act.
Back at RPG News Studio, KOS-MOS was put in charge and was responsible to host the news. The Theme song Played and KOS-MOS started the news with the "Usual" greeting. Tonights headline was that the RPG News characters had been gone to Happy Clown's Not-So-Wonderful Circus.
Gemini's group sneaked into the staff area of the circus. Inside was not the prettiest thing you would see. Gemini saw a Blue, a giant insect, enough said on the description. Fortunately, Gemini knew how to kill one. The way to kill one of these things was to keep shooting at these things.
Now why would Happy Clown want a giant insect? Well, not even he knows why. Maybe, Happy Clown thought, it could act as top security. Happy clown heard some disgusting screaming in the Staff Room and since he owned the circus. (Hence the name, and he's not in it.) He rushed there and saw Gemini, Jr., Cloud, Wakka, and a dead Blue.
Happy Clown then got out his rifle and started shooting at everyone. He managed to miss 100% of all of the shots he fired. Gemini knew that Happy Clown wasn't a good gunman. He wasn't even good at clowning around. He was only good at killing people. And he got paid just for doing that.
Finally, Happy Clown ran away. Gemini thought he must have run out of ammo. He must have used about 3000 shots approximate. Gemini ran into the Observation Deck and found Sora tied up to the ground. The heroes thought this would be easy. They untied Sora, but an alarm went off. The Heroes jumped through the glass, into the staging area.
"Episode 6 ends here" is posted on a sign outside the circus.
Viewer: I want my trombone, and a key inside.
Gemini: Don't you think about trying out for that circus. the owner is known for killing people, and lots of them.
Episode 7: Man vs. Man (One on One)
Gemini didn't know that when he fell through the glass, he was going to land on a ill-tempered elephant. (Are there such things?) And so, he was a bull-like elephant, all over the stage. Jr. and Sora landed perfectly, on the ground, but in the range of the rampaging elephant. Wakka and Cloud were out of range of the elephant, so they were not hurt at all.
Once everyone but Gemini was on their feet, the battle began! Jr. started shooting his guns at the beast, while Wakka was throwing his blitzball, Sora and Cloud were slashing the elephant, being careful not to hit Gemini, who was still on top of the elephant.
Once he was thrown off, Gemini hit the ground hard! He was in no shape to fight, so what's a news producer going to do? He's going to call his brother! Galloway vowed to fight alongside the heroes, while Gemini recovered.
After all of that painfulness, The elephant was near death, and the heroes were tired out. This wasn't just an ordinary elephant, it was ill-tempererd! And it would fight to the death! Galloway was in the best shape, so he held it off while Jr. kept shooting at it. He was about to run out of ammo, when suddenly, Shots thaat wern't Jr.'s were being fired at the beast. Someone here is saving everyone! One outside gunshot killed the creature.
Gemini was miraculously in full health, and recovered quickly, because of some nurses in the area. He told everyone that he will take down Happy Clown himself. Of course everyone thought he was crazy.
Gemini entered Happy Clown's lair alone. A fight to the death was about to start. The fight was mostly the, "You shoot, then me, then you, then me." situation. Eventually, Gemini got a head shot on Happy Clown, and he was instantly killed. Everyone was tired, so there wasn't a really good way to kill him off. I bet the mafia wouldn't be too happy.
Everyone returned to the studio, rested, and had a party the next day. KOS-MOS did the news as the sub. Even Galloway went to the party. Behind the studio, the outsider was waiting paitently for Gemini to let him in.
At the end of the party, KOS-MOS had shot a balloon wall with these words, "This ends Episode 7."
Viewer: That wasn't a good way for Happy Clown to die, You could just use my dogs.
Gemini: This is my fanfic, and you should only appear at the end of certain episodes.
Episode 8: Okay, so it's not 100% RPG News.
After a long Summer's nap, and killing off Trogdor in his sleep, Gemini woke up refreshed. He saw the outsider that had saved him, and he welcomed him. Gemini asked, "Who are you? and why did you save us?" He introducd himself as Joey Heald and said it was his job to kill off the Happy Clown. Joey had blue hair, a combat sut on, and lots of robot mechs outside.
Gemini was nice enough to let him be a guest on the show because he knew he was fighting for Good and for Awesome. The news started, and Cloud was back in his chair. KOS-MOS didn't have to do anything so she could relax.
The news report started normally with Cloud reporting the main headline, "Krazy Klown Killed in Krazy Circus." He said, "A Killer Clown was killed off last night by the producer of this show. We have someone here who helped him do the assassin in. His name is Joey Heald. Joey, what's your input?
Joey had announced, "I helped Gemini because it was my job to finish off the assassin. I know I won't get payed anytime soon, but I now have to help my partner Marlene kill off some more Blue in RPG Town."
Sora stated, "We did have a Blue encounter while at the clown's circus. It was very nasty, I could tell you that."
Joey had left the recording area and was in the kitchen at the time. He decided, if Gemini would accept, be a member of staff. He asked Gemini, and he allowed Joey to be the cameraman. Gemini was tired of alernating places to act as the cameraman of both FF Break Room and RPG News.
Galloway sat in the guest chair since Gemini let him be a guest on the show. What Galloway was able to do was give HIS Input of the circus raid.
Meanwhile, Jr. had finished the weather report, and guess what? More Happy Clown coverage! Enough for a clown lover to fall asleep just hearing about it! Galloway made his input, and left the studio about an hour later to return to fighting Naar.
Due to all of that, Gemini starts typing letters on Joey's camera lens, they read, "Episode 8 ends in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. *Static*
Viewer: I should appear more often
Gemini: Alright, that'll be more than just at the end of certain episodes.
Season 2