Interlude with a Vampire
by Archone

I sat on my throne, brooding. I do that a lot. Brooding, that is. I do it on my throne. And in bed, at the table, flying through the night...

Oh, excuse me. I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Leonid, the Earl of Podol. And I'm a vampire.

No need to run, my dear! I don't bite... unless you ask me nicely...

You're not going to ask?


Anyway, I sat there, brooding. I brooded about how exciting a vampires life was. Just look into any gothic novel, and you can read it for yourself. Ravishing beautiful virgins, as they writhe helplessly in our dark embrace, uncertain whether to beg for mercy... or beg for more. Doing battle with vampire hunters. Commanding the Forces of Darkness(TM). Facing off on rooftops, in dramatic scenes of eternal passions.

Too bad that's not how it is in real life.

All the beautiful women in Podol that didn't fall prey to my thirsts prefer mortal lovers. And they carry holy symbols to drive the point home. And the vampire babes mostly end up preying on immature kids and 40-something men during their midlife crisis, too busy to dally with their Dark Lord.

The vampire hunters are a joke, too. The last bunch to show up didn't make it past the wolves guarding my gates. And the powerful ones don't even regard me as a threat. My honor makes me a Dark Hero... especially with the aid I rendered in sealing those Abyss Gates.

That was fun, at least. Fighting against the Abyss itself.

We DO squat on rooftops, sometimes. A good place to look at the stars... and brood.

By the Blood, I'm bored.

Bored, bored, bored. Bored...

I wonder when the news is coming in, today?

That's my primary source of entertainment, really. Checking the news. I've got contacts and spies in every kingdom in the world, relaying every bit of information on world events. Not a nuance of political manuevering escapes my eye.

I don't do much about it, though. Nobody wants a Vampire Lord for an ally. Although the Loanne Marquis and I are on fairly good terms.

I'm not only bored, I'm lonely.

Nobody wants to be my friend.

Maybe I should grow a goatee?

Hmm. Nah.

Bored, bored, bored.

I could throw a party. Too bad nobody'd show up.

And people really think vampires have it good. An eternity, of this?

No wonder they call us damned.

Hey! Where are you going? Don't go...

Please, stay and talk to me.

I won't bite. Promise. Just... don't leave me alone...