The Mox saga; chunk 2
by d_Galloway

The Mox Sage part 7: Frick and Frack
Special Guest Stars: None

The trip to Alaska was mercifully short, thanks to the teleport spell. Unfortunately, some kind of force was blocking access to the exact location of the Blue Pentagram, so they had to go on foot. This was kinda bad, since Weiila was still crying over how Galloway's brother had treated her.

Meanwhile, Mox had just stopped at Switzerland. He had a problem on his hands, with the heroes trying to stop him and all, but he had one thing he craved more than ungodly power: chocolate...

Galloway and co. had walked for about a half-hour when they found one of the most unusual things they had ever seen: an Ice-Cream truck in the middle of nowhere. Galloway shrugged and started to continue on, but after Weiila kicked him about seventeen times and screamed in his ears, he decided to stop to get her some. He knocked on the side of the truck.

A window opened, revealing a tall, black-haired man wearing a black business suit and dark glasses. He had a microphone attached to his ear, and eyed the group with suspicion. After a few silent minutes, he said, "Are you a mister "d" Galloway?" Before Galloway could respond, however, the man jumped out of the truck and shot everyone with Tranquilizer Darts.

When they came to, they were inside the truck. The tall man from before was joined by a smaller man who wore the same type of clothing. They were silent for a few minutes, then the tall man said, "Why are you in Alaska? What part do you have in the kidnapping? What the hell is up with your hair?" Galloway responded with, "I'm trying to stop a madman. I don't know about any kidnapping. I use Hero Hair every day. And you really suck, Mr. FBI."

The two men gasped. The shorter man said, "How do you know we're FBI?" Galloway sighed and said, "You have black hair, black suits, and microphones in your ears. It's not really that hard to figure out."

The two FBI agents sighed again. "Our codenames are Frick and Frack."

Galloway was barely able to stifle a laugh. "Frick and Frack? Those have to be the worst codenames I've ever heard!" Weiila struggled a bit with the ropes, then said, "Mr. Frick, can I have some Ice Cream?" Frick simply untied her, handed her some, and returned his gaze to Galloway. "So, due to this misunderstanding, we'll let you go. Just watch your back." Everyone in Galloway's group was kicked out of the truck.

After about an hour of walking, they climbed down the rocky cliff face that led to the Cave of the Blue Pentagram. They made it down without much trouble, except for Weiila, who was slightly afraid of heights for some reason. They entered the gloomy cave.

At the end was a large room filled with torches. They found the Blue Pentagram in the center. The only thing was it was glowing. Suddenly, an all-too-familiar voice rose up.

"What the hell took you so long?"


Mox was sitting on a boulder, eating some chocolate, which was actually pretty impressive when his helmet was factored in. He finished it off, stood up, and teleported out, leaving a tablet behind.

After studying the tablet, the heroes learned that the Time Pentagram was in England. They packed up and went back up the cliff face. At the top were Frick and Frack.

Frick walked forward. "You just missed some people. They said something about looking for you, so they went down a flight of steps on the other side. They don't look all too happy, so I'd suggest you run." With that, the two left.

The heroes got in the van and teleported to England...

Next time on The Mox Saga:
*Mox decides to destroy some things
*Magus shows up yet again!
*Weiila gets drunk for no apparant reason!

Galloway: Next week, we'll include a scene with a guy wrestling a bear for no reason. Just out little gift to you.
Weiila: You said little! WAAAAAAHHHH!!! *cries like a baby*
Galloway: *sigh*

The Mox Saga part 8: The Next Threat
by d_Galloway
Special Guest Stars: Pokefreak

The van landed neatly in England. Unfortunately, Galloway had accidently used the map as a tissue, so they were forced to ask directions. A few hours later, they reached their target: a small, hidden town called Northton (note: Northton is fictitious. Don't try to look for it.) They checked into the hotel and began to fall asleep...

Their attempts ended when the TV suddenly turned itself on. After everyone's typical cursing, they simply watched it. The news was brief, except for one story:

"This just in. Moscow is reporting a large amount of destruction to it's residential area. Everyone is being ordered to evacuate the city as the fires continue to spread. The actual cause is uncertain at the moment, but witnesses are reporting a large man in black armor and another large man in red armor with a hammer and sickle are causing it."

The TV turned itself off right after that.

Everyone simply stared for a minute. The Galloway said, "Mox is behind this. This has to be a warning of some kind." Gates added, "But the red guy. That has to be that Commie Robot I beat a few days ago. Did Mox bring him back?" They thought for a few minutes more. Then Black Mage said, "I don't know about you, but I want a drink. I'm going to the bar."

Everyone except Galloway and Weiila left. The two remaining party members fell asleep quickly.

Magus once again snuck into the room via a window. He walked over to Weiila and raised his hand. He wasn't going to just cut her-he was going to vaporize her! He laughed silently to himself, but was cut short when Weiila, in the middle of a dream, kicked her leg out, hitting Magus square in the crotch. He cringed for a minute, then fell, waking the two up.

Galloway lifted Magus's body over his shoulder and began to carry him out. A bottle fell out of Magus's cape and quietly landed on the ground. Weiila walked over to the bottle and read the label on it: "Vodka". She looked at it for a little bit, and assumed it to be just water. She opened the bottle and drank it.

Galloway returned from dispensing of Magus's body in a dumpster. He returned to the room to find Weiila lying down, the bottle in her hand. He walked over, took one look at the bottle, and gasped. Weiila got back up. "Well, now, you're one good-*hic*-looking guy*hic*!"

Galloway looked at her for a second, then reached for the scabbard of his sword...

The next morning came as many suspected. Galloway woke up first, and Weiila woke up last. Weiila rubbed her rump for a bit. It was still sore from when Galloway beat her with his scabbard last night. Black Mage and Gates had enormous hangovers. Vivi just woke up. They packed up and left that morning.

Pokefreak sat in his house, surfing RPGC. The pm he got was somewhat unexpected. It said:

"Galloway has dissapeared. We are trying to find him. We are trying to request your help in our search. Galloway's hiding something, and we want to know what. Pm us back when you've made your choice.-Starstorm"

Pokefreak pondered the question for a few minutes, then responded with an, "OK."

Terry sat in his chair and looked through his window. Today was just another boring day to him. No jobs, no people to kill. He was just sitting it out. Then the phone rang. He answered.

"Hello? That depends on who's asking. Okay, you have a job for me. What is it? Uh-huh. Okay. How much? HOLY SHIT!!! I'll take it! Now who do I have to 'eliminate'?" A faxed picture of Galloway and young Weiila soon went through Terry's fax machine. He examined the picture: it showed the two eating pizza. Terry lit a cigarrete and burned a hole through the center of the picture.

"Enjoy that pizza, you two. It will be your last..."

Next time:
*Terry's "job" begins
*The Time Pentagram is found
*A young girl, Blue Robe, and F&F emerge

Weiila: Well, I guess that's that.
Galloway: Not quite.
*A scene from a Davy Crockett movie begins to play, showing Davy fighting a huge bear*
Galloway: Now we're done.

The Mox Saga part 9: The Time Pentagram
by d_Galloway
Special Guest Stars: Mazrim Taim, Starstorm, Pokefreak

After several hours of driving across the English countryside, the gang finally reached their destination: the cave that contained the Time Pentagram. (Don't ask me why they're all in caves-I'm just writing this). They slowly descended inside.

Unlike the Blue Pentagram, which was right after the entrance, this pentagram seemed to be hidden deep into the heart of the cave. Galloway casted his Juggling Lights spell and remarked, "It's about time the damn spell was useful."

As they went deeper, the cave walls began to smooth out, revealing that some work had been done on the inside of the cave, but had never been finished. Apparantly some group went through great lengths to keep this a secret, but why?

Meanwhile, David and co. were reaching the cave themselves. They had read the tablet in the Alaskan cave, and had tracked them down to this point. This was were they were certain it would end.

Their thoughts soon trailed when they heard the sound of gunfire behind them. They turned-and saw someone standing on top of a rock formation, aiming a sniper rifle at them. The stranger laughed and fired again, forcing everyone into the cave.

Terry soon followed.

The heroes had finally reached the Time Pentagram, only to find that it was already activated. Mox was once again a step ahead of them. Galloway cursed their luck, then saw a small, adjoining chamber. He stepped inside-the door immediately slammed shut behind him. The last thing he felt before going unconcious was a blunt object hitting him in the back of the head.

David, Maz, Star, and Poke stopped to rest for a minute. After having a small meal, they prepared to continue. Suddenly, the ground below them opened, sending them plummeting through a trap door.

Weiila, Gates, Vivi, and Black Mage stared at the doorway for a second, then began to push at it in a vain attempt to open it. They eventually gave up and sat back down, except for Black Mage. He pulled his hands back, charged energy around them, then brought them in front of him and said, "Hadouken!" The door was blown into pieces. Everyone looked inside, and saw the trail left by Galloway's attackers...

Mox, meanwhile, was back in Switzerland, eating chocolate. He decided to take a breather from maddening chaos and destruction, and chocolate was the best way to do it. Besides, it was good.

David slowly returned to his senses. He glanced around for a bit, then got the others back up. They were inside another chamber, with no way out.

Galloway returned to his senses. He found himself being dragged by his arms by two guys in military-like gear. He glanced at his right hand, and saw the fractured wrist. These guys weren't taking any chances.

"So, what are we supposed to do with this guy?"
"Take him outside for questioning."
"What for? We've got him. Let's just kill him now!"
"And what if he finds the body."
"Body? What body?"
The two began to laugh as Galloway lost his senses again.

Frick and Frack pulled up to the cave. They stepped out of their Ice Cream truck and walked over to the entrance. No sign of life in there. Still, that "Blue Robe" guy insisted on their being here, as well as that girl. Frick still swore that she looked familiar.

They all entered the cave...

Terry continued his hunt inside. He passed by the trap door, went through the broken doorway, and continued down the hallway his targets were supposed to have gone through.

In other words, he went through the wrong damn hallway. This bodes well for our heroes, but what terrible horrors await them as they continue their amazing quest? We may never know, since Galloway is really lazy...

Galloway: Shut up, narrator.

Next time, of The Mox Saga:
*Lots of stuff happens (Galloway's too lazy to write an actual preview)

Galloway: *pulls out a sniper rifle and shoots the messenger in the leg* Don't you ever say that again!

The Mox Saga part 10: An Eternal Champion
By d_Galloway
Special Guest Stars: Same as last time

After about five minutes of searching, David, Mazrim, Starstorm, and Pokefreak gave up and sat down. The walls were strangely smooth, and the ground felt like there were tracks under it for some reason. No way to get out of here.

Suddenly, the found what they were looking for. Galloway landed on the ground, completely unconcious. They simply dragged his body over and set him down in the center of the room. They had their man. Now they had to escape.

Suddenly, Galloway's other group fell into the chamber. (Nobody recognized Weiila, though). After talking for a bit, they went back to searching.

Meanwhile, at Galloway's house, Neo Galloway was preparing to set out. Being Galloway's dark side allowed him to sense his counterparts' movements. He knew were he was and how he was. And he knew that he was in trouble.

He turned, summoned his companion, and teleported out.

After all of the introductions, a new sound was heard. Frick, Frack, Blue Robe, and the young girl fell into the room. Once again, many things were said. Even Galloway tried to join the conversations, although everything he said made absolutely no sense.

Suddenly, a loud laugh was heard from the roof. Everyone turned, and saw Terry standing at a control panel. He laughed a little longer, then pulled some levers.

The walls began to move.

Naturally, every sense of order that had been present in the room dissapeared the moment this started. Everyone went everywhere possible, trying to find a way out. Time was running out.

A new voice joined the fray. This was follwed by the walls collapsing, creating a stairway to the control panel. Everyone ran like hell, while Terry just stood there, shocked. He shook out of it, however, and immediately pulled out his sniper rifle. He took aim at Weiila's forehead. He wasn't going to miss, even with such a small target. He prepared to pull the trigger.

Then he was knocked into the chamber by a surpirse attack from behind. The attacker was a tall man, wearing a brown overcoat and hat, with a grappling hook attached to his belt. He took out a quarter, flipped it, then looked up with an expression of joy on his face.

Neo ran up to him. "So, Larcen. You finally decided to make yourself useful." Larcen looked down at the remark, then kicked Neo into Black Mage, causing them to fall backwards slightly. Everyone then made their way out of the cave. Except for Galloway, who had made a qucik exit while everyone was focused on Larcen.

David and co. left to find Galloway. Frick, Frack and the young girl decided to hunt for him as well. Blue Robe decided to stay behind with the others. After they were gone, Galloway crept down. Blue Robe turned toward the heroes.

"Listen. You're lucky things turned out this way. Mox has many agents, and they all are waiting to get a piece of you. For countless millenia, Mox and his army have waited in silence, preparing for their chance to strike back. Now that time has come, and you are at the top of their list. I cannot be around to protect you forever. You must know the truth about Mox and the prophecy."

Next time:
*Things happen (there, I said it)

Galloway: Mr. Narrator...TO HELL!!! *sends the Narrator to Hell*

The Mox Saga part 11: The Order of the Black Pentagram
By d_Galloway
Special Guest Stars: None

Camp was set rather hastily, with Weiila and Blue Robe sitting around while everyone else did the work (except for Gates, since he can afford to pay others to work for him). A small dinner was made and eaten, with Blue Robe being the only person to deny any.

Afterwards, all eyes turned toward Blue Robe. He stared up for a minute, then lowered his eyes and began.

"I am certain that you have heard about how Mox fell. The two youths that defeated him. The army Mox had created. These all relate to Mox's current plans. Even after millenias of waiting, his power has not dimmed. In fact, he's more powerful than he's ever been. But let us begin from the beginning.

"After Mox's defeat, all of the remaining members of his army ran off like the cowards they were. Unfortunately for them, their panic was also their downfall, for in their haste to run away, they were lost. Most were later found, then tortured into revealing the hideouts of their comrades, and when their use was gone, they were executed in a horrific manner.

"However, these trials were never very smooth. Most of them were what you would call a "mock trial", where no real evidence was brought before the court. Nobody who was accussed was ever pardoned. To make it worse, the leaders were blind as to the locations of the men they hunted. This was, as you would call it, a "witch hunt". This continued for many years, until the community finally disbanded over petty quarels and ridiculous disputes.

"But the trials were a failure. Not all of Mox's followers were found. The same two heroes who had defeated Mox tried to find them, but unlike the Black Mages, who can survive longer than most other beings, these two were unable to survive long enough to defeat them all. It is unknown as to what fates befell the two, but it does not matter yet.

"Mox's remaining agents had learned much from their master. They knew that the 97th level of Black Magic contained a spell that could take the spirit from the caster's body and transplant it between the living world and the netherworld. Using this, they were able to last for the millenia that was neccessary for their master to regain all of his strength.

"When the time began to approach (roughly about the same time that RPGC, your home "website" was created), the spirits began to convert others to their cause. They preyed on mankind's greatest desires: money, power, popularity, sex. They twisted the minds of the weak and foolish into serving Mox. In the matter of two years, they were able to build an entire army. The two that attacked Galloway in the cave were members of this army: The Order of the Black Pentagram."

Black Mage suddenly gasped. Everyone's attention turned to him, then looked back at Blue Robe.

Magus was right behind him, his scythe raised. He looked at everyone, then said, "It seems that I have no choice but to kill you all!"

Galloway rose from his seat. "I've had enough of this crap!" He rose his hand, screamed "Gallo-beam", and fired, sending Magus flying into the distance. Galloway then seated himself again. "Why does that guy keep trying."

Blue Robe shrugged, then continued.

"The order was created in order to serve Mox's need for conquest. He is still busy trying to reach the White Pentagram, but has turned most of his resources to trying to find and destroy you. You have come too far to be defeated now. Your next destination should be Russia-that is the location of the White Pentagram."

Weiila looked at Blue Robe intently. "How do you know so much about this?"

Blue Robe chuckled, then pulled back the hood of his robe. Everyone's gaze turned to one of shock. He looked remarkably similar to Galloway.

Blue Robe smiled. "I was there. I was one of the two that defeated Mox."

Next time: (an actual preview this time!)
*The truth about the heroes is revealed
*Frick tells of the girl's identity
*Everyone goes to Russia

Weiila: Well, now what?
Galloway: I know. *orders a pizza*

The Mox Saga part 12: The Daughter
By d_Galloway
Special Guest Stars: None

After Blue Robe's lengthy story, everyone fell fast asleep for some wierd reason. Blue Robe smiled, then left.

At least he wouldn't have to explain the situation to them tonight.


Frick and Frack continued to drive along the countryside. Apparantly an Ice Cream Truck wasn't the best of vehicles to drive at this time of night. Especially since they were going in countless circles due to the fact that none of them knew how to drive.

Finally, after about three hours of driving, they reached Galloway's camp. Well, at least they could beat the crap out of the guy.

And, believe it or not, that's what they did. (I don't feel like explaining everything)


Galloway woke up to find himself back inside Frick and Frack's Ice Cream Truck. After the usual "pretty colors" remark, he saw Frick standing over him, wielding a whiffle bat.

Frick raised the bat. "Alright, I have some questions for you to answer. Give me an answer I don't want, and the bat goes down on your brain. Okay? First question: how the hell do you know my daughter?"

Galloway shook his head. Frick brought the whiffle bat down on his head. He then repeated the question, every time getting the same response. Eventually he realized that whiffle bats are among the worst forms of torture to use in an interrogation. He threw it aside and sighed. "Okay, listen. You remember that girl that was with us? Well, I ran some tests with the automatic DNA analyzer in the truck, and-"

Galloway interrupted his long speech. "Excuse me, but you have an automatic DNA analyzer?"

Frick sighed, and continued. "Anyway, as I was saying, I ran some tests, and it turns out that...well...I'm her...father."

After the usual five minutes of shocked silence, Galloway spoke up again. "So, did you tell her?"

Frick shook his head no, then tossed Galloway out of the truck and drove off.


The next morning came rather uneventfully. Galloway had been able to get the ropes off last night, thanks to situations that would only add more holes to the plot than a human could count. Weiila had slept like a log. Gates had that dream of his where he destroyed all forms of Unix and Linux, and had claimed his title as king of the world. Black Mage dreamed of eating large amounts of pie while sitting in a room full of scantly-clad White Mages. Vivi dreamed of...nothing. Larcen simply dreamed of thin air. Neo Galloway dreamed that Galloway was dead.

After everything was packed up, Galloway teleported everyone-including the van-to Russia.

Next Time:
*Galloway fights a professional wrestler
*Frick's daughter is found
*Mox prepares for another attack

*Galloway and Weiila are eating pizza*
Galloway: Well, that's it.
Weiila: *burps*
Galloway: *goes off to do stuff*

The Mox Saga part 13: The Wrath of Bear
By d_Galloway
Special Guest Stars: None

(Note: Due to technical difficulties involving an army of trained monkeys and the NRA, this episode will be shown in script format only, We apologize for the inconvinience, and hope that you can find it in your hearts to give us the money we need to fix this issue)

*The van lands neatly in the middle of what's left of Moscow. Everyone steps out and stare at the mindless destruction*
Galloway: Man, this guy did a number on this place.
Black Mage: Bah! I could have done it a hundred times faster!
Everyone else: *stares at Black Mage*
Black Mage: Uh...nevermind.
Vivi: Well, let's just find that pentagram and get out of here.
Gates: And what about those guys? The ones with the sharp knifes and swords?
*Everyone looks at the army of people in black robes that are holding various weapons*
Black-Robed People: CHARGE! *charge*
Heroes: CHARGE! *charge*

(Sadly, due to the severe limitations of the script format, we will be unable to show you this battle. Which is too bad, since it was full of blood, gore, death, destruction, and B-grade movie references. We now return to a point after the battle)

*Galloway is standing on a huge pile of dead bodies*
Galloway: *holds his sword in triumph-then drops it because of his wrist* Damnit, I have to get this thing checked. *climbs down*
Weiila: *falls asleep*
Neo: Uh, we need to get some sleep, you know.
Larcen: *just flips his beloved coin*
Galloway: *looks at a wall*
Gates: Oh, now what?
Galloway: *reads a poster on the wall*

The Russian Wrestling Federation is not responsible for any injury or death that will surely be inflicted on all those that participate. Do so at your own risk.

Black Mage: *looks at a picture of Bear that's politely located under the poster* Oh God! That's a truck with teeth! Why the hell would you even want to read that poster?
Galloway: *enters the RWF building* Because I need the training.

*A few hours later*

*Galloway is standing at the Ringside. Frick and Frack are in the audience, with Frick staring at his daughter*
Frick's daughter: Go, Dad!
Frick: Dad? Does she think that idiot Galloway is her father?
Frack: Did you forget about the OTHER guy? *shows him a picture of Bear*
Frick: Oh God. I'll deal with this AFTER Galloway gets creamed.
*Music begins to blare*
Audience: *cheers*
Announcer: IN THIS CORNER...*points to Galloway*...D GALLOWAY!
Audience: *boos*
Galloway: *climbs into the ring*
Announcer: AND IN THIS CORNER, THE CURRENT CHAMPION...*points at a gigantic man in the other corner*...BEAR!
Audience: *cheers*
*bell rings*

(Once again, the limitaions of scripts will appear, as we are unable to show this fight. If you want to know how it ends, just watch Spider-Man)

*The heroes are leaving the ring*
Black Mage: Man, you clobbered that guy!
Gates: He didn't even touch you!
Weiila: *wakes up suddenly, then falls back asleep*
Neo: Ha, that guy was pathetic.
Larcen: Well, let's just get some sleep, okay?
*Everyone goes to the van to sleep*

*Meanwhile, at Mox's secret lair*
Mox: *is reading a map* SCARE!
*The Red Scare enters the room*
Mox: I want you to strike Moscow again. This time, finish EVERYONE off!
Red Scare: *leaves*

THE END OF PART 13 (Thank God!)
Next time:
*Mox's attack begins!
*Bear hunts for vengence
*Frick and Frack go to find Frick's daughter
*David and co. finally appear again!

David: It's about fucking time!
Galloway: Excuse me, but there's a kid here. *points at Weiila*
David: Oh, shut the hell up. Chunk number 3 of ze Mox saga