RPG Classics Mailbag

Previous Mailbags

*Gazes into the room while holding a flashlight* Phew-wee! This place has alot of cobwebs.

Leaving stuff alone for months on end tends to do that.

Obviously.

Lots of dust too. See? *Claps two old books together in Energon's face*

ACHOO!

Gesundheit. Anyway, we better start cleaning up.

More work?

More work. *Starts sweeping around and steps on a frame* Oh. Look at this. It's a photo of Kagon and SG.

Huh. Where are those lazy bums anyway?

Well, I kicked them out of the Cool People's Club, so I think they joined some club in Utah.

Oh. So no more of them?

No. Most likely not.

Well, at least I don't have to deal with Slalin any more.

Captain Obvious is still around.

Obviously.

I can stand him in small doses. He doesn't bite fingers off.

Yet.

...

Enough chitchat. Get back to work. Energon, you handle that precariously tall pile of papers.

Goody goody gum drops. *Begins sorting out the papers only to have the entire stack fall on top of him* Urg...

*One paper slowly falls past his face* Oh. Hmm. A reply. Good thinking Energon. We should get back to these. Lessee... It comes from our not-so-old friend, Joe.

Make the pain stop...

Evil Joe: Hello lesser beings and welcome to this responce Joe isn't here so I will cover this ok, the top-*is "boo"ed off the stage by the invisible audience

Joe: this has been a test of the emergency "boo" system had this been an actual Evil Joe takeover Rotten vegetables flying towards Evil Joe at high velocity would have followed the "boo" this concludes our test of the emergency "boo" system

POST ME THIS TIME DAMMNIT!!!!! I have gifts for everyone!!!!! but first...*tosses a Certain talking wooden plank with Kag's face on it into the room

ok, now I think theres a reply hidden in here...ah! here it is:

Hair.... ok if I was a hair dresser I would cure Link's (LOZ) chronic Hat-hair why do you think he wears a hat at all???!?!?!

I would also take all the hair gel out of Serge's hair (CC) I mean it defys gravity!!! (See rebirth sequence and look at the back of his head) and I would give Edward (The Spoony Bard!!) a Shave....CUT HIS HEAD CLEAN OFF!!!!!!!HIDE IN THE HEAT OF BATTLE WILL YOU?!?!?!

and now for the gifts!!!

Let's not and say we didn't. We don't deserve gifts after being so late. :( As for your actual content, I think Link wears a hat because his head gets cold in Hyrule. And hair gel? Well, happy hair makes a happy Serge. Remember those words.

*Starts pushing the pile of papers off of him only to have his knees give out* Mountain of pain...

No. Mountain of papers. Slight difference. Mabatsekker would agree with me too.

Yeah. It's me. Mabatsekker. Try saying that 12 times really fast, then say Mushroom twice and some snakes afterwards. Anyway.

Oh no you don't. There shall be none of that here.

Hairdressers in RPGs have this horrible, HORRIBLE work of dealing with these freaks of nature with Green/Red/Blue hair, ESPECIALLY in the Fire Emblem series. There also are these laws of physics-abiding crazy do's like pretty much any RPG Hero these days. Cloud, Lunaris, me..

What I would do? Restore some normality. Make people normal and natural. Blond, Brunette, Dark.. IT'S NATURAL AND YOU KNOW IT! And make normal haircuts dominant. Especially Afros. But not Maz-Afros, no no. Maybe Nabeshin Afros. Yes. Enough babbling nopw, for it is time to BOP!

*Bops*

*Bops* So, more normal hair, eh? I would hardly count afros as a normal hairstyle. And with kids these days, blue and yellow striped hair are a bit more predominant...

Obviously.

I would hardly count that as normal.

Sure it counts as normal. If more people are doing it, that makes it the norm.

Obviously.

I win. And how exactly did you escape from your papery doom?

Very carefully.

Badum-tish. No, seriously?

Remember that Simpsons when Skinner gets trapped under a pile of newspapers?

Yeah. Are you saying you used fourth-grade chemistry to build a makeshift rocket to wrap the vacuum cleaner chord to the beam so you could retract it and pull yourself up?

Well, no. But we'll go with that story.

Thanks. I'm sure Zoneseek is thankful too.

Are you kidding? I love the spiky hairstyles with the colors of purple, blue, and green etc. Only on RPGs (well...and anime) can "normal" people walk around with outlandish hairstyles. It is so cool. It also plays in to the fantasy aspect. I mean, if you are going to be following the story of characters that can weild outrageous weapons, do magic spells, summon monster etc. - something none of us do I assume! - then why not top it off with spiky blue hair?

There is one exception I can think of off the top of my head - and that would be the female character in Pokemon Ruby. Not sure if it is an RPG - but she has these wacko brown long sticks of hair sticking out of either side of her head. No way that is cool, just bizzare.

If I had to choose to have hair like a character though, I would probably pick something like Quistis - I mean, I would have cool hair but no one would be pointing and laughing at me.

Yay for purple and blue hair! Although, I see where you're coming from with the hair adding to the fantasy part. I mean, the aforementioned yellow and blue haired individual is probably simply fantabulous, as I'm sure most RPG characters are. Just makes them more exotic.

But you just said it was becoming normal.

Yes. The hair is becoming normal, but that doesn't mean the mentality of the plaid haired people is normal.

And what mentality do the plaid haired people possess?

The general mentality of any plaid wearing person: maiming and looting. They're a crazy lot, those plaid people.

And you know this how?

Deductive analysis, my good Energon. Deductive analysis.

Of whom?

Mostly Hiryuu.

"If you were a hairdresser, what would you change in RPGs?"

The hair.

...

...

... Er... Obviously?

Yes, rightyo. I would request that he be a little less specific. That wasn't quit vague enough for me. Maybe Gila Monster can be vaguer.

Hmmm... A Hairddresser, in an rpg game...that'd be pretty crazy. But, the question doesn't have anything to do with that. :P So designing hair? Well, I'd probably just give all the characters long hair, cause you know, that's what all the cool metal guys and rock guys have. I mean, it would be pretty sweet seeing Jimmy Page in a Final Fantasy game. He'd have a Les Paul guitar, but it'd really be an axe, cause that's what a guitar is, BUT, it'd still be a guitar! And he'd hurt the enemy with solos, and man Jimmy Page can solo. Man that'd be sweet... I gotta make a game now.

I can heartily say that that game would rock. \m/

*plays a rimshot*

Anyway, sounds like those long haired metal heads would be like dwarven bards with a bit of badass thrown in for kicks. I'm also presuming the theme for any character with that kind of hair would have to be metal of some kind.

Obviously.

Why exactly would metal hair bands be in RPGs again?

To fight the evils of the Man trying to deny the kids their right to party. The Man is, like, Squaresville, Daddy-o.

You do realize that you just mixed up about three other subcultures, don't you?

Yeah, well, uh, you do realize that your face is, uh, STUPID, don't you? *throws a Poke ball at Energon*

The poke ball opens and a flash is seen. When the flash clears pink_lugia is seen in the mailbag room.

Hello boys and girls. And the other people that noticed the one SG without a kagon face last week. :) It is me, the great pink_lugia. Please note that the great pink_lugia may not be great, pink or a lugia.

A hairdresser view on rpgs. interesting. but I will try to answer it like the haidresser i ain't.

First, when you "make" youre character, you should be able to customize the stlye and colour of your hair. and in towns, beside those item shops there could be hair salons where for 100 of the currency the hair could be changed.

That's about it. I'm not a hairdresser, in fact, never know or visited one ever. EVOR. so I can only assume some would change that. To bad that's all I have. Toodles

Ragnarok Online has the design your hair option. I believe it also has a feature yet to be implemented that lets you dye your hair. Well, most MMORPGs seem to let you decide your characters' hair. I think.

Then why don't we see it more?

Because it would be such a chore to allow people to take Tidus, give him a Flock of Seagulls hair cut, and dye it green. Especially if FMVs are going to be around. It would be fun, but it would amount in either continuity holes via FMVs, no FMVs, or some system requiring tons of processing power. It's easier to just let them not change hair.

What about sprite games?

Sprite games have it easier, especially if the characters are shown only as sprites. However, sprite RPGs are now few and far between, but with the success of Disgaea and the release of newer sprite RPGs such as La Pucelle: Tactics, there might be a resurgence. If RO can have different sprite hairstyles, I'm sure console games could too.

That's alot of talking just about hair.

Yes. It's simply fantabulous.

Or characters could simply wear hats.

Yeah. Like ClothHat.

I couldn't do anything, because I would be just a puny hairdresser.

Sure you could! You have your Comb of Untangling +3 and your Scissors of Sharp Cutting +2 and your Water Spray of Water Spraying +5. There's lots you could do. Hell, I bet most villains have a Samson complex with their hair. At least the pretty boys probably do.

That idea is worse than your Tetris RPG.

But not as bad as Monsters of Rock? I'm hurt, Energon. Deeply hurt. You go sit in the corner and think about what you've done!

But- I!

Do it!

*Goes to sulk in the corner*

Well, now that Energon's out of the way, we can get back to business. Eh, Archone?

If I were a hairdresser in an RPG, I'd convince the heroes to get it cut short. Long hair provides your enemy with a nice, convienent handhold, can get caught in machinery, and can fall into your eyes at an inconvienent moment. Next, I'd convince them to run a comb through their mops occasionally.

Lastly, I'd give them pedicures. When your primary mode of transportation is a pair of boots, you want to take good care of your feet. Nail polish is strictly optional, of course...

Good point about the long hair. While it can be cool and stylish and oh so dreamy, it would be used against them in battle. That's why the Romans are the most dominant force today.

Obviously! ... No?

As for pedicures, I dunno. There's probably not much time left for heroes to get them. Sure there's days to waste on sidequests to get a special piece of armor or something, but pedicures or something? Pff. And speaking of special armor...

Heya everyone! If I were a hairdresser, I'd make sure that everyone actually wore a helmet. I mean, a nasty gash to the head can really spoil your hair, you know what I mean?

Zenogais Bluebane

Thanks Zenogais. And we know what you mean. No good having blue hair when a red streak would ruin it. Although, red haired heroes would be safe. I guess brown haired heroes would also be safe once it dried. However, the helmet would probably also make sure the heroes don't, oh, DIE from a head gash.

Obviously.

Yes. Headwounds don't do at all. I'm sure Walhalla can speak from experience.

Uh, hello. I really don't understand why you couldn't get a lot of replies for such an awesome topic. :P

IF I were a hairdresser, and that's indeed a very big if, I think I'd be specialized in smoothing/sleeking/shining hair products because they're the greatest. I wouldn't change much to RPGs since many characters already have insanely straight and shining hair. But I don't like:

1- Spiky haircuts like Cloud's and lookalikes'. If they let their hair falling down, they'd have a mullet or some stuff like that.

2- Those girls with a pony tail and a ridiculous pink/red ribbon in their hair. It'd be better without the ribbon. I don't get why they wear one in the first place. Ribbons get torn and dirty when fighting. Or it would if people could get dirty in RPGs. That sentence didn't sound weird at all.

I would've written something more thoughtful (like I ALWAYS do), but heh, I'm late on responding and I'm sure you could've never guessed that it usually takes me at least a week to formulate my replies. :P

Hey, mullets work for Snake.

No they don't.

Sure they do. As for the ribbon, well, I guess free and flowing hair does look better than it being all ribboned up. I've never really thought about that. And no, the sentence doesn't sound weird at all.

I think it does.

Well you think wrong. Back in the corner! And, uh, it make take you a week or so, but apparently it takes me a month of two or several to do the Mailbag. *cough*

(Note: This is Dalton Of Zeal)

If I were a hairdresser for RPG characters, the first thing I would do would be to change Seymour's bicycle-handle hairstyle to something a little less.. weird. I mean, you could probably grab Seymour by the hair, and start steering him around like one of those stick things they use in cartoons to find stuff! And that blue thing coming out of his hair could be what points you to the treasure! 8)

Or we could just have all RPG characters take as much care of their hair as Nash from Lunar does.

Hah. You could do that to Seymour. A Divining Rod for Aeons or something.

Bu-

Quiet! Corner! YoshiX! Shut him up!

I had to bother to reply, this topic is just so.. how should we say, unique and it seems your still waiting, so I extend a helping hand by taking the time off my boring life, and gameing to say my piece: Nuthing really needs to be changed at all, I enjoy the unique hair styles presented by Squaresoft, and Nintendo among others, I kinda play video games to get away from real life, albeit only for a short period of time, if things were always desirable for us in a game, it would be boring, that said, keep the mailbag rolling, it seems like its been stuck on this topic for weeks.

Yeah, or, uh, months. *cough* Yeah, anyway, in some ways, the weird hairstyles are pretty cool. I really wish I could get away with hair like that in the real world. Flaming Amarant probably feels that way too.

I'd probably change hair color. I mean, it's the same basic colors ( Red, blue, blonde, grey, brown etc ) Where's the neon green? Or floruescent purple? Or blazingly bright pinks and turqousies? If you was to ask me ( Which you did ) I would have to go with haircolor all the way.

Hell yeah. Purple hair! Woo. Although, to be honest, I think The 984 me has blue hair. Well, at least according to Faetan's Rendezvous pictures. (Hah! That's been updated even less than this!)

That's impressive.

Obviously.

Well, back on topic, other, more extravagent, colors would be welcome. Blue hair is in some ways rather mundane now. Wow. That just sounds funny.

Indeed.

Well, that concludes another Mailbag. It took a while, I know. I am really sorry about that. My deepest apologies. Stuff just got in the way. For, uh, many many months. With that said, there's one last Mailbag to be hosted by The 984.

... I'm torn about that.

Yes. Yes. Very sad Energon. After the next one, the Staffer Charlemagne should be taking over. At least, he's who's scheduled to take over. I'll confirm who it is in the next one. His humor really is much different than the humor of the past hosts. To say the least.

Different only begins to describe Charlemagne.

Quite. Well. We need one last topic. And it's one I've wanted to do for a while. It's an homage to Macc Maverick, maybe more so than this last extended break was. *cough again* Anyway, back in Mailbag #20, Macc asked for thoughts on a possible online Final Fantasy. Now that it is so, "What are your thoughts on Final Fantasy XI?" Send those replies to the usual place for one last time.