RPG Classics Mailbag
... What's Beru doing here?
WHAT?! I mean... It's time for another one of those amazing mailbags! :D
That's always fun. Except when it's not.
yeah, you got me there :O There's always that...
Election season is coming up, and before you can be President of the country, the country must become President of you.
I uh, what he means to say is, since a lot of you can't really vote anyways, we're giving you a chance to vote for your RPG character president, like it matters. The turnout was like 5?
Yeah. And they all nominated Japanese born characters which really can't be President if you read the Articles of Confederation.
What about the RPG Articles of Confederation? :D
Well, those are all good and fun, but... YOUR FACE
You know...when you put in perspective like THAT...I completely understand.
That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.
You mean, lawyer?
... Just get a damn reply.
Since you beat me to it...This one's from Shinobi.
Yo, its Shinobi.
* Shinobi has been sidekicked from the #mailbag (The 984)
Yeah, and paterotic isn't even a REAL WORD! Dumbinator >:OOO
Yeah. You... LUBUGRIOUS LUMP
Yeah, you're lucky we didn't stryke you to death!
Nice way of segging.
You referenced deathstryke's next reply, right?
I did? I mean, yes...yes, why yes that's EXACTLY what I did! yes.
I would vote for Tosh from the Arc the Lad games. What's not to like about a drunken ronin who tends to personally kick the ass of anyone who crosses him and has more than enough power to do so? At the very least he should be Secretary of Defense.
But a drunken cowboy's not good enough for you? Come on. Cowboys beat stupid Japanese stuff. I mean, would you rather have Gackt or John "THE DUKE" Wayne?! Gackt or Clint Mother Frickin' Eastwood?! Gackt or BOB HOPE SON OF PALEFACE?! Jeez.
Wouldn't a drunkin runner who kills people that get in his way make a good Secretary of OFFENSE? I mean, I'm not the only one who made this connection, right? :P
Well, I'm sure his smell is offensive.
...Come to think of it, do we even have a Secretary of Offense...?
Well, back in the blizzard of 1849, old Secretary Scruffy McScruffin...
...Like, a Secretary of Defense, Secretes our defense...but, do we even NEED to secrete our offense...?
...Well he got a hankerin' for some Bisquits and Gravy WHOOOO-EEE!!!! So he headed down to...
...And that's how I got herpes.
...And that's how Kagon got herpes.
Is that how Joe got herpes?
I think it involved some bad seafood and a tractor.
That's pretty intense. Let's read his reply.
Joe here, alone this time too!
Do the Germans even have an internet? And if they do, does it regularly invade the French internet?
The Germinet invades the Frinternet ALL the TIME. I can't BELIEVE you didn't know that.
Well, I DID fail World Wide Web History.
I nominate Crono of Chrono Trigger!!!
for the position of President of the United States!
Thanks. I didn't do that much...but you're a sweetie :D
*Disappears Engulfed in Black Flames, [BECAUSE HE'S ON FIRE] :-P*
Wait... Landed on Charlemagne... He's not even HERE! :O :O :O :O :O :O
We said RPG president, not U.S. Dumbinator. And furthermore, If Crono and Robo is the most intimidating team you can think of, you've got some problems. They're not even real, for starters.
And thirdly, Edward and Ultros are the most intimitatitintiting team out there.
He said, "The next reply is from Sorcerer."
RPG character presidential nominations? Easy.
Stupid reasons? You mean like Joe's reasoning up above?
Would the same apply for Robo as secretary of Defense?
Pff. No. Robo would make a kickass Secretary of Agriculture.
How about Secretary of Offense? After all, his attack is to RUN, ALL THE WAY UP TO SOMEONE, and then just punch them.
You're right. He shall be Secretary of Secretary's Day.
Not as intense as a reply from the Man with No Name who went through the desert on a Horse with No Name. It felt good to get out of the rain.
Hi Charlie. I love the jacket. And the pants. And the shirt. And the belt. And.. the hair.
Shinra? But he's just a kid.
Charlie: Thanks. But, how did you see that? Even the Angels haven't seen me.
Someone must have been waving their arms up and down. Again.
Throw your hands in the air. But then try to catch them. BUt drop them. Because you have no hands to catch them with. STUPID.
The next reply is from Zoneseek.
You yeah you totally deserve it Charlemagne! You just look cool. I mean...in
RPGs that is half the battle! Or was that GI Joe? Hmmmm.... Well anyway you
just seem totally cool and mysterious. You get my vote!
BTW, is it my imagination - or is Charlemagne not even an RPG CHARACTER!?!?!?!?
I'm sure he's a character in Holy Roman Empire, THE RPG!
Does that even exist? :P
How do we know if any of us even really exist?
I said SHUT YOUR STUPID FACE FLANDERS!
You know, the bible says it's FUN to do stuff together! There's a Stranger in the Manger and his Name is Loooove, Take it, 984!
His name is Rio and he dances on the sand... Just like the river running through the dusty land...
Why do birds...suddenly appear...every tiiiime...I am neeaaarr...? Just like, yooouuu, they long to be...
That's beautiful, Kagon.
You're such a good boy, Kagon! :D
You're a good boy. A GOOD boy.
...For me...to poop on? :O
Well not ON. Maybe near. Or about. Or of.
So like, poop AT him?
Only if a gypsy cursed your colon.
Yeah. She put a curse on my butt tox. It said, "984, get the next reply."
That's an interesting curse. I long for the days of curses that only made you grow warts or lose fingers or fall in love with Andy Dick.
Well, nowadays, they just make you get the next reply. So DO IT. DO IT.
Hello, ye mailbaggers! What have I got in my magic box? I've got something incredibly special for that dorkwad Mudo!
Awww, aww dude, we're here and you didn't bring it. And man, this is like, the last time EVER. Que triste.
That makes me sad.
You can't just announce how you feel! That makes me feel angry!
So will he knock down terrorism, or what?
I, Garland, shall knock you all down!
... ... ... ... ... . . . yes...
Garland huh? Which one? Garland has been in several games. Just two off the top of my head, FF1 and FF9. However, by reading your candidate, out of the ones who have a chanc of winning. You need to vote for Bush. He is hell bent of destruction, as seen by fighting two wars and talking about another). He is also a fol who creates extravagent plots to achieve world domination. Of course he does lack the speech of Garland...or normal human beings. Ghaleon, now that is a good Vice Presdent. He could probably figure out a way to fix speeches even Bush couldn't mess up (yes, I know I give Bush too much credit he'd mess it up some way). Now if only we could get Square and Working Designs to lease their charcters for presidency. However, while Garland and Ghaleon are good choices, there is a better choice. CHARLEMAGNE and Infonick 2004. Oh yeah, now that's a winning combination. Can't you just see it?
You're not the powerful. You don't even get drunk when asked to.
Charlemagne could never be president. Simply, because he sucks.
Well, I guess he can choke an entire zeppelin. That's pretty hardcore. It's like the Hindenburg, but with choking fists of fury.
The next reply is from Yaridovich Halvorsen Thompson-Stryfe-Gainsborough Donatello Leonard Raphael Michelangelo Fhqwhgads Anderson-Smith Jean-Luc Jones Solo Pepelu Tivrusky Amelia Fayette-Mahoney Kierkegaard Brian Gesselschaft Williamtonshireworth Melora Kramer the First.
Greetings! Yaridovich Halvorsen
Thompson-Stryfe-Gainsborough Donatello Leonard Raphael
Michelangelo Fhqwhgads Anderson-Smith Jean-Luc Jones
Solo Pepelu Tivrusky Amelia Fayette-Mahoney
Kierkegaard Brian Gesselschaft Williamtonshireworth
Melora Kramer the First here!
Queens of Algo can't be kings of earth. I can't BELIEVE you didn't know that. Dumbinator.
They could be queens of San Fransisco. *rimshot*
Oh. ...? I don't get it.
Well anyway, we probably need another topic. I nominate Walhalla, Queen of the Topics, to give us a new one. I say "Which character(s) would you not like to have as teachers? How bad would he/she/they be?"
Gea babay. See you later for the next mailbag, and y'all kids just keep oooooonn truckin'.
...OH! I GET IT! HAHAHAHA, it's like, she's the QUEEN...haha, the queen of San Francicso, cos like....AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH