RPG Classics Mailbag
Yo yo! Welcome to another faaaantabulous mailll bagggg! I'm your host, Jchaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarlemagne!
Geez, what was that for?
Whats the story, morning glory?
I feel like I've slept for weeks.
Yeah, you missed the calimeet.
What? I slept through the whole thing? (and the last mailbag due date)
Yep, whole thing, I woulda woken you up, but you looked so comfy
Gee, you're so thoughtful. Well since I'm up could you enlighten me as to what this mailbag is about?
I dunno, I didnt make it. I'll go check.
RPGC Mailbag Topic For: August 1, 2004 Which character(s) would you not like to have as teachers? How bad would he/she/they be?
what kind of stupid topic is that? Stupid is the answer!
Well that's what you get for having other people make your topics.
They didnt ask me! They were supposed to just save the text file and load it to the topic I made in the staff forum but noooooo!
Well what's done is done and now I suppose we'll have to undo the damage by making a kickass mailbag, right?
Oh heavens no... BUT FIRST! Like two topics ago, or something, the one with the President, it's been so long, I've forgotten. I forced Jing into co-hosting some letters, and they weren't put up cuz some megajerks didn't follow my orders (HINT: it was SG and 984). Anyway, I had to import her from Sweden to get her here to help. But the letters were left on the cutting room floor. But, they have been re-added and digitally remastered in surround sound! Here dey are... Mailbag #117: Directors Special Edition Extravaganza!!!!!
Jing gets her own link cuz she's a girl, jealous?
Yes, I am...
Anyway, where were we?
Um, if I remember correctly, we're supposed to get these letters, and they were opened. I think something special happened when they were opened.
I dont know what you're talking about but here is a letter.
Ooh, let me open it! *opens*
Wow, that's rather mundane.
Hoi, chummer. GG Crono here.
I could think of a few people from high school that deserved the Light of Judgement.
Schooooooooools out for the summer! He'd be a crappy teacher, but a cool principal.
Wow, now Alice Cooper would make a great teacher!
Yeah, I wouldn't know.
He could teach us all about the Native Americans and how to rock! What a combo!
Vaaaaaaague refrence, there, buddy...
Well if anyone gets the vaaaague reference and mails us the answer for the next mailbag first, you get a cookie.... and it proves that you read the mailbag.
Super Pierson Power Activate! Mailbag Reply Mode! N'stuff!
Well that's 2 for Kefka
yeah, realllly original, Pie. You obviously copied from GGcrono!
The scandal! You'll be hearing from my robot soon!
Go to the principals office!
Get back in the house, Robot!
Get back in the house!
Get back in the friggin house!
Shut the hell up! *takes out bazooka!*
*fires bazooka* KABOOOOM!
You blew up my robot!
So aaaaaanyway, this one is by I dont know who, but they think they're funnier than us!
Worst RPG character teacher I can think of is X-Death or Kefka.
Well it seems people seem to be reaching a consensus here. That's 3 for Kefka.
One more for kefka, and they die!
That's for those of you at home with your official Mailbag score card. If you don't have one e-mail Merlin at firstname.lastname@example.org to complain!
Don't do that. Bug Merlin about me not being a mod.
That's also a good topic to complain about.
I'm not gonna play on a loooosing team, next time I play friggin' capture the flag.
I lost you on that one.
You mean I lost you?
Or that. You've befuddled me so much I don't know what I'm saying!
Sooo, you going to explain it to me or what?
Fine, leave me in the dark. Like all the other times you've left me in the dark. I'm so mad that I think I'm going to open a letter myself.
OK, go for it.
Hejsan ! I skolan hittade jag en CD skiva som innehöll bl.a denna skärmsläckare. En lärare som råkade kasta ett öga på den avfärdade dess innehåll som ren rasistisk propaganda. Själv tycker jag inte att det är något att orda om. Vore tacksam för din uppfattning. Tack på förhand.
HAAAAHAAAA! you got the swedish letter!
It all makes perfect sense to me though.
She's talking about the fjords and the majestic moose that you can carve your initials into.
Watch more movies, dammit!
Anyway, the next e-mail is from the first person who personally e-mailed me, Zoneseek!
The trend continues. I think this is, like, 8 votes for Kefka and 0 for everyone else.
What makes Charlemagne so upset?
THERE ARE OTHER CHARACTERS IN RPGS!!! How bout Master Belch or somthing?!
Yuck, of all the people you had to say him?
I friggin' hate that game, wheres that destructo robot?!
You blew him up, remember?
*throws a rock at Master Belch* Get outta here, everyone was having a good time TILL YOU SHOWED UP! JUST GET OUT! WE DONT LIKE YOU!!! NOBODY LOVES YOU!
Let's ignore him, maybe he'll go away.
Umm, did we do the professor?
Does he have anything interesting to say or did he just pick Kefka?
Actually... NO! HE DIDNT!
First of all, we must consider the political implications of each character.
AH SHIT! THATS FROM THE OLD MAILBAG!
So technically he didn't say someone other than Kefka... That means Kefka is still at: a lot, and everyone else is at: not as much.
OK, well the last mailbag was... who should be president. Well, the Prof. is right; they'd be great presidents.
True that, Auron would scare the hell out of me if we were in a debate.
I never played that game.
I'd say something and he'd be like "Enough!" and I'd be like "Yes sir!" *whimper*
*sneer* All right, the next letter is by Joe and or Evil Joe. He's always a delight.
He esploded you.
I'm feeling the love.
Aahhhh! He didnt esplode you. I thought he'd really do it.
No but he blew up the whole mailbag. Does that mean it's over?
Yeah, I'm afraid it does.
What an anti-climax. That's something this mailbag suffers from.
MORE LIKE SOMETHING YOUR MOM SUFFERS FROM!
NEXT MAILBAG HIIIIIIIIINT! The topic is "What rpg would you like to see made into a movie?"
Ooh, ooh! I know I know!