RPG Classics Mailbag
*walks up to the mailbag temple, senses somthings wrong, drops his bag and runs in!*
Ch... Charlemagne? *cough cough* you're too late, the temple was ravaged by bandits! they, stole the treasure, and knocked me down.... ugh! *Dies*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I will avenge you... my friend...
anyway, whats the topic? lets see... "What RPG would you want to see in movie format?" what a delightful topic. allright lets see, out first letter is from Kyle...
The RPG I would like to see is the one and only award winning game not to be bought in the shops. The only one staring the humor god.
The reasons is because
It stars macc maverick
I want to know the plot
It stars macc maverick
It would be funny
It stars macc maverick
It would be good to see who would play macc
The final reason is because it stars macc.
so... do you like Macc or somthing? cuz I have a very special surprise for you! everyone give a big hand to.... MACC MAVERICK!
Hi everyone, how you all doing? I'm great, thanks for asking. who wants ice cream? and lemons! all around! yeehaw!
macc, its very good to have you here, we're all very big fans.
I'm sure you are,want an autograph?
OWWWWW! damn it! my face!
everyone look under your seats! theres a surprise! A BRAND NEW CAR! YAAAAAAY!
we dont have that kind of money to just spend willy nilly like that!
i'm the guest! anyway, thanks for the letter Kyle, it means alot to me! next letter is from myotis!
Hello... Myotis here.
I've been waiting for a topic like this. Now then. Normally, I and a whole lot of other people would probably choose Final Fantasy VII,
but, as most of us know by now, Advent Children is (apparently) on its way. So, I'd have to say...
Final Fantasy IX! I've NO CLUE who the actors would be, but they shouldn't be too hard to find...
Zidane: Humorous thief with a slightly letcherous streak.
Garnet: Firendly princess with a talent for White Magic.
Steiner: "Serve to the End" kinda guy with a protective attitude.
Vivi: Shy little kid with excellent powers.
Freya: Quick-witted, somewhat quiet dragoon.
Quina: Rather...er...eccentic, should I say? ...Creature. Yeah, that works.
Amarant: Strong, fast, and angry bandit-like fighter.
Kuja: Absolute FREAK with a creepy presense and insanely powerful magic.
Necron: Who knows?
Everyone else: Just find whoever matches them.
...Odds are, Kuja mught be a little hard to come up with. Whatever. See ya...
(Vanishes in the Wind)
How bout Leonard DeCaprio as Zidane? aaaand Abe Vigoda as steiner... or Billy Zane... how bout Kate Beckinsale as Dagger...
How bout Final Fantasy 9 is the worst of all games!
Wow! Cloud Strife, everyone!
What?! this is ridiculous! You're a fictional character! you're not real!
You're about to see how real my fists in your face are real!
Cloud, I hear you have a new movie coming out, why dont you tell us about it?
Dont mind if I do! well, its called Final Fantasy VIIL: Advent Children. I'm the main character so you KNOW its going to be good!
Can you tell us anything more about it?
behold!!! I have sent in another reply! now don't you feel special?
Evil Joe: I don't see whats so great about it
Joe: it's what's not great that makes things great
Evil Joe: .......what?
Evil Joe: *begins pondering the meaning of life....
now if I wanted an rpg to be made into a movie I'd have to say Chrono
Trigger / Chrono Cross
why? because they're the best games I've ever played! either that or the
Romancing SaGa series
Evil Joe: why SaGa?
Joe: because it awesomeabible
Evil Joe: what?
Joe: will you quit with the questions!!! now I must go so.....bye!
*shoots teh camera with a shotgun and exits stage right*
Evil Joe: *continues pondering the meaning of life and comes to the conclusion that life is meaningless and blows his own head off with the shotgun*
Is that guy talking to himself?
Yeah, he does that...
Chrono Trigger would be a great movie! I've played that game a thousand times!
It wouldnt be as good as mine!
They could have Ricardo Montalban as Magus! that would be great!
How about George Takei as Frog!
That'd be good, yeah...
I dont know who this next letter is from!
I think that its VERY simple what the best RPG movie would be: ff6. It wouldn't realy have any story lines or anything, as much as it would just be 2 hours of Sabin being such a complete and totall badass. And at random points people would piss him off just so they could have an excuse for sabin to completely PWN people at random times. Next person to look at him funny gets a face full of ultima.
FF6?! are you insane?!
how about FF8?
That guy from Reign of Fire... Mathew Mocughugnei, would be good as sabin... and Christian Bale as Edgar! Yeah!
Ultima huh? I'd like to see Sabin fight THE ULTIMA WEAPON!
Yes, we've all heard the tales!
Yeah anyway, we've got another letter, froooom Deathstryke!
I believe Xenosaga would make a good movie. Wait a second... I forgot, it already is one. Phantasy Star might make for an interesting movie. The game is relatively short and to the point, so there won't be much room for fanboys to whine about parts being left out, and who doesn't like a decent scifi on occasion. deathstryke
Never heard of them
You've never heard of the great Xeno Saga?!
I havent heard of them either!
YOU HAVENT?! I mean, I havent either, but it sounds like somthing somone should know about...
oh ok, I have no comments on this letter ok? yeah-
suddenly, the Mailbag door shakes violently for a second, accompanied by a loud thump. After a minute, the door shakes again, with another thump. Another minute passes, bringing a long series of thumps at the door, followed by a shout of "Hell with it!" and a sudden, explode-y disappearance of an adjacent wall. The long-missing Doc Shinryuu walks in through the remaining lack-of-wall* Jeez! Did you guys repair the door since I've been gone, or something? It just. Wouldn't... Break... ...Something's missing; namely 984, Kagon, and SG. *checks the previous Mailbags* Ah. I see. They've handed control off since Mailbag 112. Ah, well. Never fear, Mailbaggers! The insanity has returned! The one, the only, the Doc Shinryuu! *unneccessarily-loud FANFARE!!!* ...Ow. I guess I need to get used to THAT again.
Anyway, what was the topic again? Ah, that's right - RPGs as movies. Well, we all know that this has already been done through Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, which wasn't received well, so we'll stay away from FF-based movies, here. Personally, I think a lot of RPGs are trying to be movies as is, but... I'd like to see Tales of Symphonia turned into a movie. It's certainly got plenty of characters, plus enough plot twists to make James Brown jealous. The battle scenes might take a bit of work to bring into movie format, but that's primarily because movies tend to focus on either plot or action, and rarely do movies that try to do both do well. And, thus, the flaw in turning RPGs into movies. In RPGs, you can balance plot with action because the action is controlled by the player, while the plot is controlled by the game. In movies, however, the viewer has no control over what happens, thus leaving the film to take care of more than it can handle, bringing about an immense failure. ...I think I'd better stop, before an army of rabid RPG-movie fan-people mauls me.
Well, I think that's all for this time. Another Mailbag done... Man, it's been a while. I haven't made a Mailbag-Caliber Exit since number 112... Ah, well. Time to go, nonetheless. *turns and runs off, screaming "I'm back, bebbies!" at the top of his lungs*
NOT DOC SHINRYUU!
I thought he was only a legend!
I've heard the tales...
It's a pleasure to get a letter from you.
Tales of Symphonia? You lie!
Lie about what exactly?
He knows what...
The next letter is by the infamous catgirl, Walhalla!
I thought she was only a legend!
Yes, I remember she was goign to email me this!
Yo. Aren’t you glad to finally receive a reply from me! :P Well, I hope you are because I thought about it for three weeks, but couldn't come up with anything better than my next paragraph.
If I wanted to see an RPG made into a movie (we're talking about those types of movies with real people in it, right?), it certainly wouldn’t be FF7. I hope nobody replied that. I remember that when I got it, it was just like an 85th lame “OMG! There’s a meteor coming right our way! Let’s throw a rocket to destroy it! Oh, but oops, we’re too stupid to validate our idea with cinematic equations and computational simulations, so it didn’t work and the world is doomed!” movie.
But to answer the question, I don't know.
And guess what I don’t have for your next mailbag? Topics suggestions!
I am shocked by your beauty, miss halla.
I met her once, and made her sniff coke, I feel really bad about it too.
She must have been high when she wrote this, cuz nobody in their right mind would not want Final Fantasy VII to be cinemanized!
No it was the soft drink
Thanks walhalla! maybe you would like to be the cohost? my other one died.
Our next letter is from a one GG Crono
GG Crono, here again, with another (hopefully) fun-filled mailbag response! Wheee. Anywho...I'd like to see Parasite Eve made into a movie. Yes, I'm aware there was a japanese movie made based off it, but I'm talking about a direct adaptattion of the game. Parasite Eve is one of my favorate games. It definately has a gripping story, and it;s not TOO long, so they wouldn't have to cut a lot out of the game. It;d havwe to be about 2-3 hours, but still. It'd be cool. I have no idea who they'd get to play who, but I'd still like to see this. And as an aside, Aya is the coolest game girl ever. :D That is all. Ninja...VANISH! *POOF!*
I never played that one, I wanted to. was it for Dreamcast? anything for Dreamcast was good!
It's a pitty it died...
Charlemagne, the results just came in... you have only 3 months to live... I'm sorry
What?! My god...
BUM BUM BUM!..
Will they find a cure? Will it be on time? What is Diapy?!
Put together an unstoppable RPG sports team!