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RPG Classics Mailbag
Mailbag Mode... ACTIVATE! *Slams fists together, starts spinning around as room goes to flashy psychedelic colors.*
What on earth *are* you doing?
Transforming into Mailbag Mode. We're gonna need the help of our Mailbagzords for this Mailbag.
Er... mailbagzords?
Sponge dinosaurs that grow when you get them wet.
Uh... and they'll help us... how?
They'll get evil, smelly sponge water on our enemies.
We don't have any enemies. Plus it's not like anyone can just sneak into the mailbag room.
Then how do you explain... HIM! *Points at Slalin*
Grrrr... *munches on Energon's head some more*
Well, Slalin's very tame. Yeah... that's right....
Tame like a fox?
Yes. Exactly.
Cool. Is he tame enough to get the first Reply?
Uh, well... he might eat it. We lose more replies that way...
Oh, hm... That's not good... Hrm... I guess I'll get it. It's from the guy that (re)suggested this topic, GG Crono 4!
Welcome to another fun-filled mailbag response from GG Crono 4!!! Fisrt off, let me bring to your attention that when you asked for topics awhile ago, you said that whoever submitted one you used would get to abuse Energon.
And I suggested this topic. *evil grin*
Uh, er... Eep?
Haw, this'll be interesting.
Let's see now...oh, I think this'll work. *ties up Energon with duct tape, paints him green, loads him into a catapult and launches him out a window*
Ow...
Ahhh, that was fun. Now, on to my acual response. *ahem*
I don;t know if I can pick one in particular. I can never decide my faves in things like this. ^_^ One I really liked was the scene in Legend of Dragoon, when you discovered Rose's little secret. (I won;t give it away. If you wanna know, play LoD, it'll be worth your time.) Another one I loved was in FF8, when Squall broke Rinoa out of that...thing, in Esthar. Yet another fave is in Chrono Trigger in the ending, when Lucca is sending everyone back to their own times. (Chrono Trigger r00lz. Sorry, I just had to mention that.) But I think my abolute FAVORATE moment would have to be in FF9, the "You're Not Alone" scene. (That's one of my all-time fave FF musics, as well.) Words can not describe how great that scene is.
Well, this concludes yet another one of GG's mailbag responses.
Until next time, keep on mailbaggin', and keep on abusin' Energon.
Once again my lack of a PSX has been a detriment! CURSES!
Hmmm, well, LoD... I'm not touching that one. Ugh. FF8 did have some very nice scenes such as that one. I also enjoyed the scenes involving the spaceship. Chrono Trigger's various endings lended a hand to some of the nice scenes that appeared throughout that game. FF9 had some very touching scenes... I agree with you completely on the You're Not Alone scene. It was just plain amazing.
Double curses. Oh well. Maybe Valkyrie Esker shall cheer me up.
Hey, all! *hugs everyone there*
Man, favorite RPG moment? That's like trying to count the stars: There are too many! (and if you go at it for too long, your eyes will begin to hurt.)
Yeah. I know. I once tried counting the stars, so I started with the Sun, and counting it HURT. I mean, even with shades I could feel my retinas burn.
But since I have to choose, I'll go with my top three.
#3. L:SSSC- Boat scene.
that was a brilliant movie, and really made me feel for Luna. Besides, I liked the song. :p
#2. FFV- Bartz returning to Lix/Rikks/whatever the hell his hometown is called.
I guess the scene with Bartz, Faris, and the gravestone just touched me. I mean, it was so sweet, how he changed the headstone, so that his parents could be together in death as well. (but I'm not sure if that was kinda wrong to do. I mean, he didn't dig up the grave, and dumped Drogan's body in there with Stella, did he? O_O)
But my favorite RPG moment of all time has got to be:
#1. L:SSSC- Kyle the Transvestite.
A drunken brigand/bandit dressing up as a woman, and beating the crap out of a bunch of demons. That says it all.
(Actually, this scene is tied with Kyle's drunken introduction in jail. Doesn't matter, they're both good!)
Well, I'm done! (runs off to play miniature golf)
Transvestites beating the crap out of demons does indeed say it all. And considering it was Working Designs, I'm sure it was handled even better.
Why's that?
Well, it's Working Designs. I think they're great at humor in RPGs. Even Albert Odyssey: Legend of Eldean, a game considered less funny than the Lunars, is still friggin' hilarious.
Ah. Makes sense. Next up, Doc Shinryuu.
*At the edge of your vision, you see a blade-like flash go through the Mailbag door. Suddenly, the door falls in two, revealing Doc Shinryuu, sword in hand. He walks in, sheathing his sword.* Hey, mailbaggers. Doc Shinryuu here... ... Ok, I guess not. Sorry about not responding to the hundredth Mailbag. I didn't have ten moments.
That's okay. Most of our Repliers didn't have 10 favorite moments.
Yeah. That's why they didn't live up to our expectations.
Alright, favorite RPG moment, eh? Almost every defining moment in RPG history makes second, but first... First place takes a special place in my heart(down and to the left, actually). My favorite moment is when you cross the first bridge in the original Final Fantasy. It signalled the beginning of the longest running RPG series in history(other than D&D, that is). It began an epic adventure that developed further and further for over 15 years so far, and probably continuing for many years to come. But what really catches me and takes me away is that it's the first appearance of the one song that they've managed to sneak into EVERY SINGLE FINAL FANTASY!!! For that, Nobuo Uematsu, I salute you. *salutes*
Well, that's it. I've answered the question. So I'm out of here! But I've gotta hurt someone first. *Throws a Bola at SG and runs to avoid Kagon's rage*
Hmm... They should make an allusion to the bridge scene in the next FF. That'd be a nice little thing for the fans.
*Eye twitches* Bolas... GRAHARARAH! *Transforms into Kagahulk*
Kagahulk, SMASH! *Smashes Doc Shinryuu*
Woah there. Calm down, buddy boy.
Kagahulk smash puny purple guy! *Smashes Megaman984*
Oof...
*Reverts back to normal* Now that that's done, Mudo! Get the next reply!
*Mutters under his breath* Stupid transforming gamma ray freak...
What was that?
Oh, er, uh, Wizardmeister up. Yeah... That's the ticket...
*Random flashy entrance*
(I know I said the flashy entrances were stupid, but I do stupid things, so don't complain.)
Hi everybody! Its the Wizardmaster!!! Kagon, 2 of your favorite mailbag moments involve me! (The Wizardmasters replies and minigame mailbag (My first mailbag and the idea I sent in!) I'm touched! Why do you want revenge? What did I do to you?
*Puppy dog face*
Oh, that. SG, you are a moron!!!
...
Well, I guess you knew that, but still! You didn't give me the frick Award! GIVE ME THE FRICK AWARD!!! Oh, well, at least I was put in the same class as Macc with being NOT included in the frick award given to EVERYONE ELSE but me and Macc. As being previously stated, GIVE ME THE FRICK AWARD!!! Oh, and since it isn't Christmas anymore, INTERMISSION!!!
Good evening. the following intermissions have been deleted. We now return you to our regularly scheduled Mailbag.
Now for my mailbag reply! My favorite Mailbag moment is ... when Gilgamesh gets the Excalipur! That was hilarious! Fighting Gilgamesh, him threatening you with the Excalibur, talking smack, then it does ONE DAMAGE!!! GIILGAMESH IS AWESOME!!! AWESOME!!! AWESOME!!! MWAAAA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Ok, now that that is over some (semi)serious remarks: Bye DG!!! I hope my comment didn't make you want to leave!!! Oh, and thank you for saying I had a good reply! I never get awards!!! *cries* Ok, *sniff* I'm better, *sniff*. I have a Mailbag idea! Who is your favorite Mailbag responder person? or What is your favorite response to any previous mailbags? I and my responses would DOMINATE the competition, even though there wouldn't be any WORTHY competition. Now for The Wizardmasterz Wordz of Wizdom:
...
That's it! Goodbye my cult of fans! I need to save Joey and Cincade from the Melting Tricycle!
*Random Flashy entrance*
Excalipur was indeed a great scene. Still cracks me up. As for favorite Mailbagger, why, that'd be me.
Little bit of an ego, eh 984?
Obviously.
I, Garland, shall knock 984's ego down!
*Gnaws on Megaman984's ego*
Psh. PSH. Fine. No more ego. *Crosses fingers behind his back*
TUH! Your fingers are crossed! Don't even try that punk!
Okay. I'll never try that again. *Crosses his fingers*
You're doing it AGAIN!
No I'm not. *Crosses his fingers*
Slalin! Go! Eat 984's fingers off!
*leaps, mouth open in an attempt to munch on 984's fingers.*
Gah. Stop. How about I get the next Reply instead?
Yeah sure, just no more finger crossing.
Okay. *Crosses his fingers. Crosses them again for a double cross, thus negating the initial cross!*
Er... just get the reply.
Anyway, next up is Xiashca. Xhasashx. XahXkgs... Screw it. Susan. Next up is Susan.
You mean X ahXhaX?
Yes. Like I said. Susan.
In response to what people's favorite RPG moment is, I wish to state that the greatest moment in any RPG ever has to be the end of the world in Final Fantasy 3. The best games are the ones that you play all night and into the next morning, and it had to have been around five in the morning when I reached the point, where after having been playing for uncountable hours straight and finally making my way through the floating island, that everything literally went to hell and the next thing you know everyone dies.
I say that this is the best because I can't think of one other game since that has come up with such an innovative plot twist that could make you think "oh, shit" like when the world ended and you woke up on a solitary island. It's a shame that Squaresoft hasn't since been able to match the elements of this game; between the cast of characters, the story line, and the overall enjoyment from playing; to make any more good Final Fantasy games.
Oh, Square has made other good FFs. FFX seemed to have come close with the whole throwing in a plot twist every 5 hours bit.
Eh, though FF6 was good, it's not the best game ever in my opinion. I think Square's made at least one better FF game: FF9 in my opinion really shines. FFX was also good, but it had some elements that I feel detracted keeping it from being a masterpiece but that's another story.
Well, maybe FFX-2 will rectify that... Rectify it with a crowbar to the knees that is.
Well, I'm hoping it ends up being better than my impression of it has been so far.
True. Next up, Rabid Tauntaun.
Salutations, lesser beings. Tis I, Rabid Tauntaun. You should feel honored that I have honored you have responded to this mailbag. Alternatively, you could be insulted by the suggestion that you have so little self-respect that your life would derive meaning from my response. And if you choose to feel insulted, I’ll give you a free fruitcake!!!
No, you should feel honored that we have honored you due to your honoring us by putting your reply in the mailbag. Or something. I think I confused myself.
That's not that hard.
Silence.
Okay. I'll never say that again. *Crosses his fingers*
...Don't even start that again.
(looks for people who feel insulted)
(1-ton fruitcakes appear over the heads the insulted people)
(and just hang there…)
(and hang there…)
Hmm…we seem to be experiencing technical difficulties…those fruitcakes are supposed to fall. Oh well.
Eh, I never liked fruitcakes anyways. They're not really even caik, so bah on them.
Dubol fujj chocklit froot caik!
No no no. Froot caiks have neither dubol fujj nor chocklit.
This one does.
Whatever.
There is, of course, a third possibility, that being total indifference. You might not care in the slightest one way or the other whether I respond to a mailbag. Aren’t you glad I’m here to tell you these thing?
Anyway, regarding the topic, I haven’t played many RPGs, and besides I always have a hard time picking favorites of anything, so I’ll just mention one that I like.
One moment (or actually many moments) that I always enjoy is killing another Gold Skulltula. Though it probably reflects how shallow and meaningless my life is, I always derive a great deal of satisfaction from smiting one of those STUPID BUGS!!! Oh, sorry. Whenever I find another one, I’m feel quite proud of myself.
Well, I hope you’ve all been thoroughly entertained by this.
Ta ta.
Killing Gold Skulltulas is fun.
I hate to say, but I'm unfamiliar with the Gold Skulltulas.
What? You've never played Zelda: The Ocarina of Time?
Nope. Last Zelda game I played was Link's Awakening. I didn't have an N64 and just recently got a GCN so I can start playing Zelda games again.
We'll have to rectify that... with a crowbar to the knees.
Er, that's ok. Really.
*Puts crowbar away* Aww...
Oh hush. That was a paper crowbar.
Ohhh paper crowbar. Scary.
*Hits Mudo with said crowbar*
What are you trying to do? Give me a papercut?
Hah. Energon can't even beat up a nerdlinger.
I'm not a nerdlinger. ;_;
Sure you aren't... Prove it by getting the next Reply.
Fine... I'll prove it! The next reply comes from Last Cataclysm.
Hey guy's! Last Cataclysm here. Dropping in for my repl to the Mailbag, and to say to the little kiddies out there "Stay away from Kagon".
Stay away from Kagon? Why would you want to do that?
Cause you have cooties.
Lies, all lies!
Ok. My most favorite RPG moment and why. My most favorite Roleplaying moment was in FFVIII, when Rinoa and Squall were in the Ragnarok in space. That kinda jerked some light tears from my eyes. Especially when "Eyes On Me" by Faye wong started to play, that and the converastiong between Rinoa and Squall.
I know FF8 isn't the best FF out there. But you gotta admit it had it's small moments. (Albeit, very small)
My second most favorite is when Cloud sunk Aerise into the lake. Ha, I just loved that.
"Spelunk"...
Ok. Remeber kiddies "Stay away from Kagon!"
Yeah, FF8 did have it's moments. I'm going to have to replay that game some time. And no! There's no reason to stay away from Kagon! Unless you're SG of course. Then stay away... far away.
I don't think Cloud went spelunking... Did he go spelunking?
I think spelunk was the bad sound effect of Aeris being dropped into water.
Oh. I think SPLISHYSPLASHYFAWOOM! would have been better.
I think that would have ruined the moment completely.
Probably.
Yeah... *Akward silence* Well, Chris StarShade up next.
Hmm... hasn't this question been done before? Ahh, what the heck.
Yeah. Question has been asked before. First Mailbag in fact. We're honoring it by making it question #101.
Yup, yup. We're just cool like that.
Yeah. Well, Mudo's not.
Why do you have to be so mean to me 984?! Why!?
Cause you're a nerdlinger. NERDLINGER.
*runs off crying*
My favorite RPG moment from a recent game I played was in Final Fantasy 2. At one point, the princess seems to be acting strange, and when the group enters, she asks to speak with Frioniel alone... and then she gets in bed and beckons to him...
Frioniel of course stutters a bit until he finally succumbs to the urge and jumps in bed with her... at which point he notices that it is a lamia and not the princess.
Then, his comrades barge in to catch him in bed with a lamia. Ahh... a kodak moment...
Then they kick the lamia's ass for impersonating the princess.
That does sound like a Kodak moment. In fact, once this Mailbag is over, I shall play FF2.
Just because of that reason?
Sure.
...Wow. Well, enjoy...
Oh. I will. I will.
But before you can play FF2, we have more replies to get. Why don't you put Energon to use and make him get the next reply?
Okay.
Rasafrasa... Pink Lugia. Grar.
A poke ball is thrown into the mailbag an a giant flash is seen. When the light clears a pink lugia is seen in the place of the poke ball. Hello all you mailbag hosts and side kicks. I have presents for all you. First of all for Megaman984, a pair of pink sunglasses. Second, Kagon, I have a potion that will transform you into a pink hulk\kagon instead of a green hulk\kagon. Then for SG, a piece of pink cheesecaik. And last but not least, DG, a err.. what he quit. Fine. Energon, you get the pack of Kaluhas. You better drink them all, or else I burn all your paper. AND I BURN YOU TOO.
Ah great... Another pyromaniac...
firefirefirefirefire
Hey, that's my line... And I don't think I look good in pink, sorry Lugia
Yeah. Me neither. I mean, pink? That's a girly color!
Says the guy dressed in purple...
Oh shut up.
He's gotcha there.
Least I'm not Kagon.
Oh. Burn.
Now on with my mailbag reply. This is my first for those who care. My favourite RPG moment? That's easy. My favourite RPG moment is the ending sequence to Final Fantasy 1. For some reason the ending scenery and messages just warm my heart. Espeicially when it says "You were that light warrior". That's my favourite RPG moment ever and nothinmg else I've seen has changed my mind.
Another bright flash appears and the pink lugia is gone.The is a letter on the ground were the poke ball landed, that reads "Sincerely yours,
The Pink One
FF1 was a nice little game. I'm glad it's being re-released along with FF2 in April.
They just better include Garland's line.
I, Garland, shall knock them down if they don't!
Good luck with knocking them all down.
*Knocks Kagon down, into the Reply Bag*
Ahhhhhhh *falls in*
Hey, while you're there, get the next one.
Pleh, fine. The next reply is from BahamutXero.
Hey guys, BahamutXero here:
*Throws a bola at Kagon*
BOLA?! I WILL END YOU!
Hey Kagon, know what my favorite game is?
What?
Bowla-ing.
I'm going to cry.
Sorry, I couldn't help myself! Oh man, this must be toughest mailbag topic ever! After many nights of restless sleep and hours of interernal debate, I guess I have finally chosen the moment in Final Fantasy VI when Celes finds the seagull on the beach, after Kefka moved the Statues on the Floating Continent and created the World of Ruin, wearing Locke's bandana. I kinda guessed she would get off the islnad but it was a good feeling I had, that the game would continue. Celes would have a reason to keep going. This is a great change when Cid dies as she then tries to commit suicide.
How about having the next mailbag topic: What was your least favorite RPG moment and why? That would be much easier for me. I know what I would write right now. Oh well, till next time keep up the great work!
The Solitary Island scene in FF6 was great- but Cid din't have to die ya know.
Of course Cid had to die. He must pay for his sins from FF5.
What sins?
The ones, you know... Uh...
No, I don't know. Looks like you don't either.
He beat up babies and stole thier candy. That's what.
Yeah sure. I'll believe you if you get the next reply.
*Gets the next reply... From The Sylvan Archer!* Now you must believe me!
In the forest where the mailbag (TM) team is picknicking SG tries to eat a caik...but then an arrow takes it from his hands...A young elf unveils himself: How dare you not have Bows&Arrows in your Weapons Mailbag???Aargh!Anyway we elves are very forgiving you know...sometimes. I am The Sylvan Archer (TM) and as have encountered you in my forests I will let you live (and leave) and answer your mailbag.. Let me just choose two moments...The first one is in Zelda:Ocarina Of Time when Link gets to the Temple Of Time after having awakened all sages and meets Zelda.Zelda eventually gets kidnapped by Ganon as usual but Link finds out that he has been carying the Triforce of Courage in him,that he is it's embodiment sice the beginning. Hell Yeah,that's a hero,way to go Link!!
Another moment I liked was defeating Magus in CT having the warp Gate opened,understanding that Magus is not the real enemy (The guy is cool yeah!) and you have a lot more CT to play...Also the idea that an alien has been infesting the planet since the prehistoric ages was good..and haunting
I also like the parts which show the past of each FF VI character... and the part where Dekar returns from the grave.I too liked in BoF 2 the part where Ryu understands it is his fate to fight Evil.I always like that part in RPGs.And the religion there was nice too.Mhwahaha,Kefka rules (yeah)
mm that's it, I'll let you get back to your site now to see the other replies too.Have fun guys and monsters! *Begins playing a tune at the Ocarina*
Well, looks like I know more about the Ocarina of Time than I originally planned. Well, in Lufia 2, I loved the part where Dekar returned. Dekar was one of my favorite characters from any RPG really. It was nice to have him come back like that.
Yeah. It was.
Have you even gotten that far in Lufia 2?
Uh... Maybe. I think. Been a while. I dunno.
Well, you'll need to play that one again. I always loved Lufia 2...
Then why don't you marry it?
Er. Because it's a game?
Touche.
Next up is your friend and mine, Wilfredo Martinez.
He's not my friend.
Sure he is.
Oh. Okay.
Dear Mailbag Team:
First of all, congratulations on your first 100 Mailbags! While I think you guys could use watching a few Saturday Night Live episodes (the classics, not the recent ones) to improve your humor skills, (like I should talk, huh?) nobody can contest your dedication! Here's for 100 Mailbags more!
Meh. I've always though the Sandler/Farley/Spade years to be the best, although the original cast was pretty funny.
Yeah, those years were good. And pshh, I think we do well enough.
As for this issues' topic, I think it's a very interesting one: in a way, determining what our favorite RPG moments were, says a lot about what we like in RPGs to begin with.
Here's my list: (in no particular order):
-Cecilia realizing the true power of Rudy's kindness (right after saving him from the dream demoness) in the first Wild Arms. After discovering that he wasn't human, you'd think people wouldn't care about him anymore; instead, his good deeds earned him a place in everyone's hearts. In fact, the emotions were so strong, they awoke the sleeping Guardian of Love!
-The False Goddess screaming at Heaven, demanding an answer to her dilemma, after her defeat at the end of Breath of Fire 3. It made the point that she, more than a villain, was a victim as well. (a victim who ruined the World, but a victim nonetheless.)
-Assellus' endings, paricularly the "Evil" one, in SaGa Frontier. Fitting for her controversial story (a bisexual heroine) and the Evil one was particularly chilling...
-The Boat Song in Lunar. Best Musical Moment in an RPG, EVER.
-The Duel between friends at the end of Suikoden 2. Man, but the programmers went out of their way to make it hard for the ending to be happy, eh?
-Gilgamesh's Final Battle in FF5. I like this one a LOT! Gil went from the lamest Boss ever, to a truly heroic one, complete with Final Speech. Cool!
-The Ending of Persona: Eternal Punishment: a VERY original story, with a WOMAN as the main character, and a bittersweet ending- the world is saved, but a love is lost.
-Cecil defeating his Dark Alter Ego by NOT fighting (FF4)
-Luccia finally realizing she has human emotions (when she came to rescue her friends) in Lunar 2.
-And, my ALL-TIME favorite: The ending of Wild Arms II. Just after beating the SECOND menace in the game (and what an incredible one it was!) AND losing two friends in the struggle, the main hero finds himself ALONE, fighting against the Demon Lord who ruined the World... and WINS, thanks to- the prayers of all of Filgaia's people?? This could've been very corny, but the way it was handled, it was both thrilling and touching (and it answered the game's unspoken question -what IS a hero?- quite nicely!!!)
As you can see, I'm a sucker for sentimental moments... particularly, when they end in a NICE way! (But I admire ANY well-written moment, even tragic ones!)
Keep up the good work, guys.
(And, oh yeah, The Tonight Show is another source of good jokes. Try it.)
(I hope they realize I'm running a GAG here, not really criticizing their humor...)
PSHHH I see through you clearly. You're acting like it's a running gag just to lull us into a false sense of security so you can STRIKE! OHHH yes... nothing gets past me.
*Sees Jiharn get past Kagon* I'm more of a Conan fan. Can't get enough of Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog.
Ohh, I love Conan. Triumph is the best.
Yeah. Well, we need a topic, right?
Yeah, I guess we do. It kinda helps, ya know?
Sorta. Hmm... BahamutXero is our winner. Next Mailbag's topic is "What is your least favorite RPG moment and why?" As a prize, BahamutXero gets to torture Energon next Mailbag.
Goody.
Anyway, send all Replies to us. *Glares at Wilfredo Martinez*
You'll never get past me Wilfredo! OHHHHHHHHHHHH NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH! *falls over*
That's a really good topic... FOR ME TO POOP ON!