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RPG Classics Mailbag
Alright kids, the mailbag's late mainly due to me, but hey. You're getting one without SG and 984 and with the lovely Dai and Flint so what more can you ask for? That's a rhetorical question dammit.
Oh god, that's cheesy
Thank you, I aim to please.
She's right though, that was pretty bad...
Ah, I can always count on you girls for support.
*hangs on Kagon's arm* We're your biggest fans!
*grabs the other arm* You can always count on us!
Ooooh heh heh, well then. How about one of you go get the first reply?
Why don't you get it?
Uh, well quite simple really... it's ah, far away.
That's okay. We can help you get there.
*pushes Kagon towards the replies*
Thanks, I feel so loved. Our first reply is from Doc Shinryuu sans explosions.
An NPC-based spinoff of an RPG? I wonder how many "The Life of Kefka"s came up before this...
Well, since you're the first reply, I'd say...2?
Sounds about right.
Anyway, on to the topic,
Yeah, it's always a good idea to go on to the topic.
Personally, I want to know what happened to Ansem of Kingdom Hearts in more detail. The reports alone didn't quite satisfy my curiosity, and I hope Weiila finds something to the effect. A bit more detail on Berty and Bart from Lufia 2 would be nice, too. All we saw of them was the theft of the crown in Alunze and the escape from Gratze. What happened between the encounters? What happened before Alunze and before Gratze? All this and a successful theft in Bertybart Adventure!
Successful just doesn't go in the same sentence with Berty and Bart considering their problems with the wily water and all.
Don't forget about their fumbling with their boomin' bombs.
I realize that someone's probably screaming "KEFKA INST N NPC U NOOB!!!!!!11!!!!!one1!" Technically, he is, since NPC stands for Non-Player Character.
Who do you know that thinks Kefka isn't an NPC, Doc Shinryuu? Or should I say...Vestalman?!
WHAT YOU SAY, VESTALMAN?!
WHAT YOU SAY, VESTALMAN?!
Kudos to the 5 people who got that reference. Moving right along, Zenogais is up.
I would spin off Flik and Viktor from Suikoden 1 and 2. They were awesome characters in the first two games and then they didn't do anything with 'em. After Suikoden 2 they went on an adventure together. I think a good spinoff would be the story of Viktor and Flik's journey. Viktor, Flik, and the Star Dragon Sword! I don't know what it'd be about, but just the thought of Flik and Viktor in another game!
Zenogais Bluebane
I know what it'd be about. It'd be about Viktor and Flik's love and be titled "The Homoerotic Adventures of Viktor and Flik"
They shared a lot more than just a bath.
Yeah, what about the fact that they live together?
Everyone lived together in that castle!
No, I meant the fort
Uh, there too.
Lovers.
Besides, they're such a cute couple.
Flik's cute anyway
It's all about the yaoi, isn't it?
Yaoi XD~~~~~~
Yaoi XD~~~~~~
I'll never understand that. One of you can get the next reply.
Me me me! Oh... it's from Orakio...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *points and laughs*
*cries*
Well, Orak says that one game that would make a good spinoff of an RPG that fetures an NPC would be a spinoff of Phantasy Star III in which they tell the story of Orakio and Laya. Orakio was only but a legend in Phantasy Star III, so was basically an NPC. If none of you have played PS3 yet, play it NOW!!!
*stamps BANNED on the reply and Orak's forehead*
You WANT people to play PS3? That's a fate I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.
After playing PSC, I think I can say the same.
PSC makes me want to weep. Come on, what WERE they thinking? Let's send a buggy game :D
Next reply's from Archone. Hooray for fat merchants.
My idea for a spinoff RPG? Taloon, from Dragon Warrior 4. They've already done a game with him, actually, but I didn't really like it that much. Another Rogue type game, Taloon delves into a dungeon to find treasure. Big deal.
Looking for treasure IS a big deal!
It especially is when you're an overweight merchant who frequently gets chunked out of dungeons and robbed by monsters.
Yeah, well, I go treasure hunting in dungeons all the time. I don't see why you're getting all bonkers about it.
My version calls for Taloon to work as a merchant, as in the original game. Buying and selling goods, hiring mercenaries, funding projects that literally change the face of the world. Add in political intrigue, and give his wife a bigger part in the storyline and gameplay. That'd be a fun game...
Mmm... it does sound like an interesting idea though a little more elaboration would be nice. What type of projects? How would he be involved in political intrigue?
I don't see why he'd waste his money on "projects that literally change the face of the world". I'm not gonna spend my hard earned looting money on blowing up a section of the world.
Maybe you're not spending your money properly then.
Obviously. I'd spend a good amount of money to restructure stuff.
I'm willing to bet Taloon would much rather have a house full of Hello Kitty (tm) merchandise than a restructured world.
Buh, Hello Kitty is the devil though... just look at it. The cuteness- it's suffocating.
*narrows eyes at Kagon* When you sleep...
We're not here to talk about Kag sleeping.
*edges away from Naru* Y-y-yeah. We're here to talk about uh.. replies.
*shakes her fist at Kagon as he gets the next reply*
Well, DRAGONBOY240, you're up.
My game would star Gryzz from Albert Odyssey and it would revolve the history of the Dragon tribe as well as his personal history from when he was born. It would ultimately become another game with a quest to "seek out the truth."
*twitch*
Are you ok, Kag?
Ooh! Fun! *sits down and watches Kag*
*shrugs and watches too*
"Seek out the truth?" WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! AHHH! Can you be more vague? Really, thought. It helps! Put some into these replies. How would it involve his past? How would he SEEK OUT THIS TRUTH!? What is this truth? For the love of all that's holy, ELABORATE!
*laughs and claps* Yay ^^
Very nice. ^^
Thank you, thank you. I try.
*sees everyone looking at her* But I'm sitting down!
You act like we care.
Sitting. Down. *glares at Kagon*
Um ah er heh, would you like to get if Flint?
It has Dai's name on it, make her get it.
Did you see what he said about a gun?
And that you threatened him? Yes, so it's only fitting.
Yeah, it's all yours.
Fine! Be that way! *gets up and brings the next reply*
Yo.. Rud here..
HELP! Dai wants to shoot me! Said if I dont reply, Gun to the head, and BOOM!
So, uhhh...Although Most people don't really think the MGS series is classifed as RPG, I like the idea of the Otacon Dating Simulator, as suggested by someone on the gamefaqs boards anyways, the idea is funny for the first couple of pages, before it just goes to hell. The basic idea is that Dave is trying to aid Hal in getting a girl, and...basically...Never gets the girl..
Anyways, no gun go bang for me now! Muahahhah.
*Rudora Runs*
Sorry Rud, but I doubt that response is going to keep you safe from Dai.
*sighs and gets the gun*
While Dai is taking care of Rud, we'll see what Rast has to say.
I was recently informed that you were seeking qualified applicants to star in a spinoff game. While some of my suggestions may not be NPCs or minor characters, I think they all deserve their own game.
First off.. we have WONDER BOY!
...
Oh yeah, that's right - my pet lizard ate him (long story). Anyway.. moving on..
No, not Wonder Boy!
Yeah... I actually liked Secret of Evermore.
FIGHTER, from FF1. He was always underappreciated as he never did anything except swing a sword almost as big as he was, and complain about his dirty face at that first well.
In this game, FIGHTER would be able to spell his full name (verses just FITR or FTR), and he would go on a proper quest to save the world, complete with a female attracted to his huge phallic object (sword), an evil religous order, and Garland knocking people down left and right at every turn.
For seconds.. ULTROSS (and no - I still can't spell his name, even after all these years). Ultross was always underappreciated, and now, he could finally get his chance to shine. This game would be about Ultross finally finding a way out of Macc's contract, and once free, going on a quest involving falling objects and running away a lot (you would actually gain XP for running away).
If you get XP for running away, what do you actually use it for?
Better running away skills?
Good enough for me.
Gilgamesh could show up and even join the party. He would still use that crappy Excalipur though. They would have a long, pointless, but very humorous adventure (we'd get Macc to write the dialog), and eventually end up right back where they started.
For thirds... PALMER! What the heck ever became of him after the Tiny Bronco scene in FF7 anyway? He got beat up, he ran off, and we never saw him again. Now we finally find out! He runs off, hides in a cave, and eventually does.. err... something, I guess.
And finally.. we have.. the ENTIRE CAST OF LEGEND OF MANA! The SD4 crew decides to get back together, and do the same adventures again, only this time in sequence and some sort of logical order.
It wouldn't be Legend of Mana if you did know what the hell you were trying to do.
Some parts made sense... kinda... sorta...
Like the Dudbear part?
The Dudbears were the greatest, and don't you DARE deny it!
Dub!
I didn't say they were bad. I just don't see how selling lamps by learning 6 words of a language will help me save the world.
Yeah, well I bet you didn't think about how stepping on 20 crabs would help save the world either!
Well, maybe you should explain it to me
Well it's quite simple. Kag?
Simple indeed.
Well, I'm dumb. Can you tell me?
No.
Fine! *cries*
The ending will not leave you wondering "Why did I just see the ending". It will have the same awesome soundtrack.
And with that, I shall now be off. See you all later!
- Rast
Thank you Rast. See guys, THIS is what we need more of. Well though out replies.
Hey hey, some of the people before put a lot of work into their replies.
...Maybe. But still, Rast's reply is the perfect example of what we want.
Whew... well, I'll get the next one, and it's from Yar Kramer. And it's about Viki. Yay Viki ^^
Huttah, after a long while, I'm sendin' in a response!
Anyway, onto the topic: I think that there really ought to be a game revolving around Viki from Suikoden! Need I say more?
Okay, then, fine! Uh ... She'd go around the world, joining various parties, and solving conflicts or defeating bad guys ENTIRELY through dumb luck.
Defeating enemies with dumb luck? Reminds me of Unlimited SaGa...
The plot would be revealed bit by bit to the player, but Viki herself would never figure it out herself!
Of course she'd figure it out! She's so brilliant and wonderful and... nah, she'd never figure it out herself.
Well, maybe she should stop smoking so much pot.
She doesn't smoke pot, she's a perfect little... *thinks for a moment* Well, she doesn't smoke pot MUCH.
If you're gone for years at a time and don't notice it, you probably need to cut back a bit.
Or how about this: Denise from "Misadventures of Tron Bonne." She'd go around Ryship Island, fighting crime and eventually settling the score with Tron (maybe). To make it even more fun is the knowledge that this is a spinoff of MoTB, which is already a spinoff of a spinoff!
So many spinoffs... can't comprehend... head spinning... *falls down*
Euhm, I think we lost her.
Um...I need to...take care of Flint, so you get the next reply.
Yeah, that sounded convincing. Go Rirse.
Greeting Dai, Miss Flint, and Lady Kagon, the three girls of RPGC. I heard you needed some replies and I happen to be in the area...long story short, I have a reply that has no stupid sidekicks or crazy intro. *stares at Homestead and tell him to stay in the car with all the fireworks*
Anyway, a good RPG starring a former NPC or lesser playable character would be Viktor of Suikoden 1 and 2 fame. While he is a somewhat main character, with a storyline, he isn't Tir or Riou, meaning his time in the story comes only at a period of time in the game, then he stuck at the castle or in your party killing monster with no dialog.
Viktor is nothing without Flik! NOTHING!
I can see a great RPG showing his past at North Window, finding his family destroyed by Neclord, then traveling the world to average their death. Along the way he could meet up with the Liberation Army, where we can see the story of Suikoden 1 in his view. Then we see the deleted scene that takes place after the destruction of Gregminister castle, where him and Flik were lost and force to survive in the wastelands between Jowston City States and the new Toran Republic to the south. Then see him found the mercenary in the north and meet Annebelle, the mayor of Tinto. Then his fate of running into Riou and force to enter the war to unite Duran, where he finally destroys Neclord. Make Neclord the last boss and harder then his Suikoden 2 form. Maybe in the ending, we can see him give the Star Dragon Sword to Edge from Suikoden 3 and start off on his wandering once again.
Well that all for me, seeya later you three cool gals. And watch out for that killer Jiharn!
That actually sounds interesting Rirse. Jiharn isn't a killer though- I mean, just look at him.
Well thought out, unlike certain others.
*wakes up* What did I miss?
Viktor getting a game without Flik
What? The game should be all about Flik! So should every game... *daydreams*
Guh, we've lost her again. Your turn to get the next one.
Making me do all the work...
Oh deal with it, I've been doing all the work for way too many of these things.
I'm supposed to be pampered. You're up, GM.
If I could make a game based off of a character, I’d definitely make one of those paper cut-out games for Mr. Hacker from System Shock. You know the ones little girls play with from magazines and stuff? Where they cut out those dresses with those annoying little tabs that serve no purpose than to make the dresses look retarded?
I always thought you were supposed to fold them around to the back and tape them on so the doll wouldn't have stupid tabs hanging off the front.
Now imagine the same thing, but for System Shock! You could have really cool backdrops like “The Groves”, “Cyberspace”, or “Mr. Hacker’s really bad trip!” Instead of dresses you could have really cool faces for SHODAN. Like maybe one where she’s biting off Mr. Hacker’s head! And what about Mr. Hacker? Can’t forget about him! You could have really cool weapons (with those pointless tabs, of course) to add onto him and tons drugs for him to trip out on! With this new-age radical game, you could recreate really cool scenes like the one where Mr. Hacker got stuck in the ammo closet, tripped out on drugs, then smashed two grenades together turning himself into giblets!
Oh! Fun! I remember that!
Oh boy, that was a good one! Or maybe you’d like to recreate the one where Mr. Hacker blew up a million people with an outer space mining laser, got congratulated by SHODAN, and then tripped out on drugs! I know I would! But that wouldn’t be all you could do! Not only could you recreate any scene from System Shock, once you get tired with that, you could move on to creating some of your own! Frustrated with trying to imagine a SHODAN and Mr. Hacker love scene?
Eww...ewewewewewew. Bad GM, bad! *jabs out mind's eye with a sharp stick*
I don't know, and I think it's best that way.
*daydreams* Oh Flik, you're so sexy...
Well you sick bastard, worry no more because I have the solution with my happy super fun time System Shock paper cut out game! Wee! It’d be fun for the whole family!
-GM
GM, um... that doesn't look like fun for the whole family.
*shakes Flint's shoulder*
*snaps back to reality* Aww...
Sorry hun, but we need you to keep this thing moving.
But it was just getting exciting...
I'll bet it was...
Um so take it away Vicki!
It feels odd to have visited the site and to have read the mailbag for so long but not to have replied until now. I must be feeling especially inspired after my long business trip. See, I have to keep plugging my travel and the high life which is provided for me courtesy of big business. Hooray for money! Keep up the good work guys, as I know you try really hard to make the mailbag a fun affair.
Anyway, I haven't thought out every single tiny detail about my spinoff game, but I'll share my inspiration. One of my favorite NES games was Pirates! (remember that one?), and in that game (this part's for the uninitiated) the player is a pirate who gets ships, sails around the Caribbean, does a lot of trading, fights with others not on his side, gets into duels, gets in good with the governors and the ladies, and makes a lot of money to live the high life.
No. Boo. Pirates suck
Well, there's some good pirates.
No, there aren't. Name them.
Hook?
The Disney one?
Yeah!
I'm not going to dignify that with a response.
You already did.
You guys woke me up for pirates?
Sorry. I didn't think it'd be pirates.
Bleh, well I like some pirates.
You don't like pirates, you liar.
Ok, well only Hook. And Faris from FF5.
Stop derailing this. Back to Vicki.
Hooray for money! What I was thinking was that a Pirates!-esque game would be fun using Cid from FF7 (and maybe sundry other airship pilots with their own stories to be developed later) and airships instead of anonymous pirates and wooden seafaring ships. Now, I know that Cid is a pretty major PC in that game, but I've never seen a Cid game, have you? Well, have you? Wouldn't you like to see one, especially featuring the foulmouthed captain?
What I'm thinking is that this could take place following the end of the playable portion of FF7. Shinra's gone, and it wreaks havoc on the economy, so some fearless souls (read potential airship pilots) decide to use the sky as a means of making their dreams come true. Now, I know that economic affairs aren't that simple, but we're talking about a video game - who's going to analyze it that deeply? There could be cameos from other characters from the original game, and there could be various factions throughout the world that combat each other, blah blah blah... You get the picture.
I have this feeling that my reply is a bit longer than the typical ones, but then I'm not that typical. What do you think about my idea?
I like it! *thumbs up*
Hey, it sounds a lot better than FF7 was. I really like it Vicki.
Yeah, FF7 sucked.
Aww, FF7 wasn't that bad, compared to the rest of the series.
No, it was bad compared to the rest of the series. Except to 8 of course.
Hey, 8 was better than 7
And 7 was better than 4. And 2.
Oh yes, I felt sympathetic to Squall. Ooooh look at meeeee! I hate you alllll! Why doesn't anyone like meeee? Boo frickin hoo.
Yeah, I felt sorry for Cloud, too. He's some loser who stood guard in the army so he had to steal some other guy's past. And then he forgot his own!
And what's the deal with Butz? How come he only thinks Faris is attractive when he thinks she's a guy?
I never said I liked Cloud either. And Butz was special ok? It doesn't matter anyways- I always liked Zidane.
But I think Squall was stupid, too. Rinoa was probably just going after him to get Quistis jealous.
Eh, I don't really care. I hated Squall still.
Squall hates you, too.
Squall hates everyone. Squall probably hates Flik. That bastard.
Good, I feel like I've accomplished something.
He hates Flik? I'll kill him!
Flik... *starts drifting into daydreams*
Euhm, why don't you just get the next reply.
*shakes Flint's shoulder on her way* Next one's from DomaDragoon.
Eep, I'm awake!
In a most heinous crime, the manor of King Albert Serdio was seized by a cult of religious fanatics known as the Happy Happy Cult.
Green green green green green.
You've got it all wrong- it's blue blue blue blue blue.
It's my first day...
Blew blew...
Although several innocents were injured, news of the incident was suppressed, and Kuja, the leader of Happy Happy, has not been seen since.
King Serdio was away during the seizure of the manor and escaped the atrocities.
Was it watching Fighting Seizure Robots?
Yet one week later, an unknown assailant took the king's life. The Riskbreaker entrusted with breaking the cultists' hold on the manner was named as a suspect at a meeting of Parliament. He disappeared shortly after the accusation.
During the week between the incident and the duke's assassination, the suspectd assassin made a peculiar trip to a city lost to memory... the deserted city of Midgar.
Midgar, now a shell of its former glory, housed more than 5 million people during the Golden Age. Its prosperity ended 250 years ago when Meteor struck the city.
Tall vines rushed in to fill the rift in the earth left by Meteor, cutting the city off from the rest of the world. Beneath the city, where techicians had once worked the wiring that powered the great city, the vast tomb became a home for the souls of the dead.
The player will experience the crucial week during the Riskbreaker's visit to Midgar.
What happened in the haunted city? Did the Riskbreaker really assassinate the King? Only the player, as Edward Von Muir, will be able to uncover the truth.
This... is Vagrant Spoony.
Some Riskbreaker. After you chain 3 attacks, I bet he hides because his risk rating gets too high.
I'm sure he has useful skills to make up for it like uh... hiding, running, and hitting people with harps.
Don't forget, he can sing!
She's got a very valid point.
Scary.
Next up we've got Nulani.
What sort of question is this?
"If you could create a spinoff game from a RPG revolving around one of the NPCs (or a minor PC), who would it star and what would happen in it?". We all know that there is but one answer, and that one is obvious. Kefka: Just imagine the title "The Scrolls of UmWeeHeeHeeHee: The Conquest of Worlds.", sounds lovely doesn't it?
Very beautiful.
It would, of course, contain all the things we love Kefka for: The evil, the cruely, and the badly formulated, yet irresistable, phrases: "Nothing can beat the music of hundreds of voices screaming in unison!", "Son of a submariner!", and, let us not forget, "Edgar, you pinhead! Why do you have to live in the middle of nowhere?!". Back to relevancy. It will, of course, be about Kefka liberating the world from the tyrants and terrorists that stopped his last grand project to ensure eternal peace and happyness: Locke, Celes, Terra, Pervert, Setzer, No Brain All Muscles, and the old guy
I'm sure I've forgotton someone in that list, or misspelled their name, but what does is it matter? They are all going to die anway.
--- Nulani t'Acraya
Are you sure Kefka will be able to do all that though? He kinda failed miserably in his destruction of the world last time.
Well, this time he has a better plan: being the protagonist, since we all know the protagonist will win in the end.
True enough, and he'll fight a very wimpy last boss too to follow the FF vein of weak final enemies. Our final reply comes from the Wizardmaster.
I am The Wizardmaster! HEAR MY ROAR!
*roars*
*bitchslaps Wizardmaster* No entrances
Onto the reply... "if you could create a spinoff game from an RPG revolving around one of the NPCs (or a minor PC), who would it star and what would happen in it?"
Well lets see... who would I chose? I know! Edward from FF4! It would beginbefore FF4 would. He would be a young child in school. He would then be thrust into a "save the world" type plot, after which, no one remembers what happened.
The gameplay would be awesome. The job system would totally defy every other job system in existance. The begining job would be "bum on the street playing really bad music for money but never gets payed" and would work up to "subway musician", "rockstar", and "Bard", among others. It would have a "dance dance revolution" style fight system, except with singing.
So, it's nothing like DDR then.
Since when do you fight in DDR anyway?
Never.
Well you could shove the other player over on the two person machines. Not that I ever did that...
I'm never ever playing DDR with you.
Aww, just once... please?
The graphics would be un believable.
We kind of assumed graphics would be good. You usually don't want horrible graphics.
Unfortunatley, It would be released on Virtual Boy, so no one would play it. Oh well.
That was um... interesting.
Not really.
If you can't write a decent reply, I'll send a big Italian man over to your house to bust your kneecaps. And to cut off your prize horse's head and stick it in your bed.
You aren't the Godfather.
Violent, isn't she?
Quite. *edges away from Dai*
*gives Kagon the kiss of death*
Eeep.
Hey, don't kiss him ;_;
*gives Flint the kiss of death to make it up to her* We got a very um... speshul e-mail from Not GM. Whoever that is.
i am just 6 yers old and i lik teh rpgc maylbagg. whenn oh whenn is teh nex one??// ii lik teh maylbag veeeererrrrrryyyyyyy much!!
-Not GM
Aww, isn't that sweet?
*gives Not GM a gold star*
I'm touched. Really. And with that, that's all for tonight. With all the new MMORPGs coming out soon, our topic for next week will be how would you design a fair player vs player system? This problem has plagued many MMORPGs in the past, especially Ultima Online. You know where.Any last words, girls?
*looks at Dai*
Um...for all those who responded after my spiel on the messageboards, thank you, and I hope to see more replies of the same quality or better.
Well, this was a lot of fun ^^
Indeed it was.