RPG Classics Mailbag

Previous Mailbags

* Stabs Kagon with a sword*

OW!

lolz u died

Uh...what Megaman984 MEANT, was, welcome to the mailbag kids! :D

heal plz sg

Hey, don't make me stab you and steal all your gold and items.

k I helz u *helz*

You know, this reminds me of a tale of two thieves on their way to Christmas Town...

Did a priest send them there?

Really? *Jumps in 984's arms* Tell me a story!

Probably. I think he was wearing bunny ears.

I see... so he sent them there through a warp portal against their will because the girl wouldn't flirt back right?

Yes. The she-male. The she-male died though. The male thief escaped by running away from giant mantises and yetis and worms and spiders.

...What a weird story...

Yeah. You can bet the thieves would've tried to do something if fighting was allowed.

Oh yes, mainly killing the damn dirty priest.

...Guys...

Yes?

Hmm?

What does this have to do with the mailbag?

Well, it happened in an MMORPG.

It involves MMORPGs and Player vs Player of course.

Mmm, clever. I should have known it was one of those damned hippy games.

Yeah. RO is very hippy. A hippy game making you pay for it. Damn capitalist pig dogs.

Hey, I like RO, psh.

Well, you're a capitalist pig dog too.

You might like Final Fantasy 11, then, Kagon. :D

No, no I wouldn't.

If RO is like how I've heard it was, then it's pretty much the exact same thing only it looks nicer. :P But ok! How about we get our Mailbag on?

Then get the first reply.

You're closer.

I agree with SG.

Fine. ;_; The first reply comes from Thomas Dang.

Dang his eyes!

Hi, I'm Level_up_for_love. I'm quite new to the forum and RPGC as well, so I'm not sure if emailing to this address is the right way to reply to mailbags. I also think that it would be great if we have another board in the forum specialized for discussing ideas presented on the mailbag (each topic with a reference to the mailbag number, for example).

For this week topics, I suggest a cross of Nox and Terranigma. Both are action RPGs where you can dodge any kind of attack or magic provided you have enough skill (I think these two games qualify for the name action RPG even more than the more popular Seiken Densetsu series, although I love SD as well). Nox has a more intuitive control scheme for managing items and magic, and Terranigma has special attacks that requires action-style button input. In both games, you can fall down bottomless pits, fight on moving platforms or otherwise hazardous locations. The addition of the ability to alter terrain (e.g. Worms) further enhance this "action" feel.

So, apply that combined gameplay in an MMORPG, if you are faced with with godmodingly strong opponent and you have not yet established many allies in the gameworld (or cannot get hold of them at the moment), you can

a) run for your life to a town or to a gathering of other players
b) fight with your superior skills (it is possible to beat Terranigma at level 17, Nox at level 8, I mean that kind of skill)
c) lure enemy into traps, monsters, or hide in terrain features

I can see myself fighting a troll (both meanings), jumping from rock to rock on a fast flowing river and dodging until the godmoder makes a mistake and fall.

In brief, we need a true action RPG

* Nox is an action RPG for the PC

Hmm. this might not necesarily make a game fairer though. I mean, if they can hit you with a spell from anywhere, it won't matter how you jump around. In Phantasy Star Online, for example, Zonde (Lightning) homes in on the target.

Eh, it does sound interesting, but I don't like it when there's no limits to who can fight who. They did that in Ultima Online, and it was a disaster.

Yeah.

OK, with that said, someone get the next reply. :P

Righty-o. Someone else.

I guess I'll do it this time...Next up, GGCrono4.

Booyaka! 'Tis I, GG Crono 4! I havn;t been able to think up anything for the past few mailbags, but with this one, here I am! I don't really care for MMORPGs, but I think I can have fun with this topic. ^_^

Okay, first off, if any lamer-ish activities, including (but not limited to)
-Speaking extreme l33t
-Killing someone for no good reason
-Repeadedly using cheap tricks
-Talkin lik dis haha u suxor n00b
-Taking items that other people need when you KNOW they need it

are performed by a player, he is given "The Mark of the Lamer." Anyone may kill someone bearing the Mark at anytime, regardless of any players settings. When someone kills someone bearing the Mark, they not only suffer no repercussions, but also get bonuses. Depending on your crime, you may bear the Mark for as little as a day or as long as a week.

That would kick SO much ass.

As for dueling...
I think dueling should only be able to be done in "Dueling areas", like arenas or something, and both players must offer up an item to go to the victor, and the duel cannot officialy start until both players agree.

Of course, this would work differently depending on the game. Let's say in some games, you can choose to be good or evil or in different clans or factions or something. You should be able to attack someone of the opposite clan/faction/whatever regardless in most areas.

And of course, in most cases you SHOULD be able to only attack people close to your level.

Or better yet, have anyone be able to attack anyone, but in that case, there could be a risk of getting the Mark. But as always, there should be exeptions. (Like, if a low-level player picks a fight with a high-level player...he would have that coming. In fact, the lower player might even get the mark.)

Well, that's all my thoughts for now. Keep on mailbaggin'! Bai! *flies off*

Wait a minute...I CAN'T FLY! *falls*

::WHAMF::

Ow...

I'm...not exactly sure how this lamer mark makes anything fair exactly. In fact, that serves to make it less fair and more discriminative. Just because someone types a certain way doesn't mean anything.

The lamer mark is lame, but I agree with the arena idea. It sounds very fair since both parties have to agree to it and there's no gold loss or exp loss.

Yeah, I like the idea. People in RO definitely make me wish that existed. Get me killed with a Slide Trap will you Mr. Hunter? Oh... I'll show you... *goes off mutter and laughing evilly*

*Me looks at Kagon*

AHHAHHAHA THEN I BUR- wha?

Take your pills.

Uh, I dunno. Isn't it cool when you brush your tooth?

Well uh... I already took them... and yes."

Ok, cool. Someone get the next reply.

You fool! You should have taken the red pill!

Do the other pills cause nighttime stuffiness?

Yes.

Poor Kagon.

Yeah, it's annoying...

Speaking of annoying, no one had grabbed that elusive next reply yet.

I vote Kagon.

I vote Nader.

Yeah, definitely Nader. Go Green Party!

Hah. A vote for Nader is a vote for Bush!

Yeah, and you know what the means Kagon?

What?

the1 P Pronunciation Key (th before a vowel; th before a consonant)
def.art.
Used before singular or plural nouns and noun phrases that denote particular, specified persons or things: the baby; the dress I wore.

Green party people believe in working wages, thus meaning if you want money, you have to get the next reply.

That's a lie! All lies! Fine! Go Arlene.

Hey, that's what the mean.

*Flea from CT flies in wearing a trench coat, opens it in SG's direction and flies off* ...that is why no one likes flashy entrances *shudders*

please post me...I have caik!!

Hi it's me, and I will hereby be known as Joe...*awaits applause* anyone???...SG doesn't count (I'm not that desperate) Fine be that way. Hmm I'm forgetting something oh yeah 2 things, get ready my guests, evil Joe and Mr T.

evil Joe: gzzzzzzz
Mr. T: ... ... I PITY THE FOO WHO FALLS ASLEEP IN THE MAILBAG!!!
evil Joe: zzzzzz...huh?....gzzzzzzzz
Mr. T:*grabs evil Joe by the neck and throws him helluva far*
Mr. T:I PITY THE FOO WHO CALLS HIMSELF LORD OF THE PAPERCUTS
*grabs energon by the neck and throws him helluva far*
Joe: that was entertaining... oh, you wanted a reply? ok ok fine heres one

Fair?? please! whats the fun in competition if you don't have the upper hand? fine, fine, hmmm I'd say, have level restrictions, you know so a level 10 character doesn't have to fight a level 52 and outlaw one hit kill spells like hellbound and hellsoul from CC (thats chrono cross for those of you who don't know what in blue hell I'm talking about) and um...hmmm...*a year passes* oh I know I've got another Idea outlaw all bards and Pierre bards and Pierre are both weak and would probably make you lose.

that Is all here Is your caik *hands everyone but energon trippuol fujji choklet caaaaaaiiiiiiiikkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@@* what the?? oh I ran out of exclamation marks.

energon I made you a special caik *hands energon a caik that ticks like a clock*
well I guess I'll be leaving
Mr. T: I PITY THE FOO WHO HANDS OUT CAIK *grabs Joe by the neck and throws him helluva far*
evil Joe: hey I'm back! did I miss someting???
Mr. T: I PITY THE FOO NAMED EVIL JOE
evil Joe: not again..
Mr. T: *grabs evil Joe by the neck and throws him after Joe*

*energons caik explodes*

Mr. T: ... ... *leaves*

...

...

...

STOP READING!!!!!!!!!

Ms. Fullmer, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

This is a tad more rewarding than what 984 gave her! So yeah, how about that next reply? Cos this last one was like...you know.

...Yeah it was. You're up 984.

*Grabs a new card* Uh... ®Þg KÑÏG£+ Or RPG Knight. Some name.

Good Evening. RPG Knight here.

I have to say that the most recent topics have been pretty lackluster so I neglected to write in, but now that I feel like it, here goes.

“How would you design a fair player vs player system for an MMORPG?” I’ve never played an MMORPG before, so I have no idea what they use right now, or in fact very much at all, but I plan to assume random beliefs that everyone knows are false.

My idea is that either when a player is nearby another player, and neither are involved in a battle, one of them may challenge the other. If the other player accepts, then they may battle in however style that particular MMORPG makes you battle against monsters.

Once the battle’s over, I suppose the loser would be partially revived, and the winner would get exp. or gil or gold or whatever they get at the end of battles, based on their level and the loser’s level. And then, uh, I guess that’s it.

That sounds like the Arena idea except mobile. It could work too.

Yeah, it's a pretty nice idea. In fact, that's probly one of the best ones I've ever heard, heh.

Yeah, I like the idea- it's fair, and the loser isn't too harshly punished.

I especially like partial revival.

Wow. I can't even really make fun of it either :P

Yeah, it kinda sucks when you're just blatantly killed off.

Well, I could attempt something.

Like?

Mr. Knight, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

...I should give you a frick for that. Maybe I'm getting too old for the mailbags. :P

I don't think that works...

Yeah, he did a good job. Game over man.

Fine. Fine. I tried, and you two crush my dreams on the pointy rocks of reality. Fie on you! FIE!

What's a Fie? It's it like a pie?

Yes, keep on believing that SG. There will be plenty of fie if you get the next reply.

It's an expression of disproval.

So it's an expression of disproval of pie?

Yes. Well, it IS tough to be the pie.

What?

What? It is.

Ok. I guess. I've never been the pie before. So uh, who's getting the next reply?

You, remember.

Yes.

...I uh...guess...that means I should get it...then...?

Yes, it does.

Ok! :D The next one comes from Doma Dragoon.

After careful consideration, I've come to the decision that those who enjoy MMORPGs are closet masochists who enjoy nothing more than to be abused in seven different ways by the games they play. That said, most really don't want a cleaned up system, because that would "restrict their freedom".

But since that wouldn't be much of a response, I'll go into details with my own system, called "Divine Retribution".

PKers will seemingly be ignored. Of course, the basic "No PKing in towns" would still apply.

Suddenly, though, strange coincidences will occur. Monsters will seem more attracted to rampant PKers than innocents. Harmless enemies will swarm, and suddenly become rabid or feral. Item drops will become unexistant. Dummy items will appear and fill up the PKers inventory.

At this point, you would expect that the PKers would get the hint. Well, some people are just stupid. That's where the final phase of Divine Retribution sets in. In this mode, Murphy's Law is extended around the PKer. If a critical fumble could possible occur, it will. If a spell has an area affect, but only affects a certain number, the PKer will suffer. If there's a chance that a rare item will be sold, it won't be while the PKer's in the shop. There could be clear skies, but lightning bolts will still somehow hit the PKer.

I don't take part in MMORPGs, so I'm not sure how feasable this is. I just like the idea of hitting people with lightning bolts.

Divine Retribution... Sounds nice.

Ahh...Lightning Bolts...don't we all love em...

That's beautiful Doma. Absolutely beautiful.

Can I hit people with Lightning bolts?

Yes.

You can also fly if you jump off a cliff SG.

No you can't.

...awww...I was about to drop everything I was doing to give it a try. Well, I guess instead I could ask you guys to get the next reply.

It's from Archtwo.

No, it's from ArchONE!

ArchWON!

Ahh... close enough.

ArchTHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

All you viewers out there, am I really the goofy one in this group? I think not. I think not.

Or better yet, Archnineeightfour.

I mean, look at these guys!

I'm special.

Yes! He's special! LOOK at him!

Yeah, speshul.

And Kagon's an idiot suvant.

Minus the suvant.

Yes, look at HIM too! LOOK at all of them!

...Ow.

And SG makes Ozzy Osbourne look like a good speaker.

I mean, Megaman984 took AP English and can't spell savvant correctly!

Hey, they emphasized reading cultural literacy books, not spelling some stupid word like lubumbrious or whatever.

And then there's Kagon, the girly man who hangs out with Mudo! He's the nerdiest nerd ever!

;_;

Mrraw, I should rise up, and take my rightful place as QUEEN of this mailbag!

You're a queen alright, SG. I mean, you ARE from California.

I don't get it.

I actually devised an idea for a great MMORPG way back in the 90s. But when I floated the idea around, I was told that the technology of the time couldn't support such an audacious scheme. Now that I'm older and more experienced, I'll see if there are any local game companies who are interested...

I won't go into all the details, but the game concept included a way to ensure fair play. In most online games, be they Diablo II or a Shogo deathmatch, the administrators take a hands off approach, their only means of discipline being to ban someone who's been the subject of too many complaints about ruining the game for others, be it from preying on newbies with a level 99 character, or blowing away everybody with invulnerable cheat code enhanced characters...

But in this game, all the employees at the game company would be given their own special characters, "gods." Each god would possess the ability to alter conditions in the game, from spawning monsters and npcs, to healing and altering stats, to spontaneous creation of items(and of course, booting a character right off the server). In addition, the gods could descend to the game world as "avatars," with powers exponentially greater than that of the regular players.

By taking part in the game, these "gods" could manipulate events to make things more enjoyable for the players. For example, the "dark gods" could round up all the players who enjoy being mean and nasty, and divert their impulses into becoming worthy villains for the more heroic characters to battle against. "I could use this cheat code to become the most powerful battlemage in all the realms," intones the evil character, "but the Dark Ones wouldn't like it. And I need their support more than I need this code..."

In addition, the players all have a special command: Prayer. Any player can use this command to send a message straight to whichever "gods" are currently monitering the game. Then it's up to the god to decide what actions to take.

The administrators are the proprietors of an online "nightclub" of sorts, a place where people pay to go to have fun. A smart club owner employs bouncers for dealing with troublemakers. Keep 'em playing, keep 'em paying, that's the goal. (Best analogy I could think of, given that I live in Las Vegas)

Hmm...that's a good idea...but you would have to get people to be on all the time like that...a company might not wanna hire people just to play a game like that. That's...a little excessive. Though in theory it is a nice concept.

SG, you mean like hanging out in a chat room?

Seems like the same thing.

Yes, something like that. It wouldjust be a chore to have an administrator be on all the time.

Like in a chat room?

...Yes. :P

Good, now that that's settled, I would like to volunteer for said god job.

You're hired! Congratulations!

KNEEL! KNEEL BEFORE ME! *Lightning crackles from fingers*

Ok.

Erm... I think we're done for tongiht... *backs away*

But Kagon! You have to Kneel before him!

Ah hah hah hah! The time for fun and games is over, feeble minded fools!

I'm not kneeling, I'm out of here. *flees*

Where I go, destruction will follow! *Runs after Kagon*

Well uh...I guess...I don't need to kneel anymore...let's see, how's about a topic for next mailbag, lemme fine one...

Oh, here's one. Our next topic is "What do you think of realism in RPGs? How much should there be?" Be sure to send your replies to DA BOYZ. Well, I'm outtie, kids. See ya.

So...

Yup.

How bout that local sports team?

Have some more sloppy joes! I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy!