RPG Classics Mailbag

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Her name was Lola. She was a show girl. Something something something...

Buh?

At the copa cabanaba?

Yeah.

Neat...I think. :O I don't know that song though. :P

There's alot of stuff you don't know, young padawan.

Very true.

Padawans...are they like pancakes?

Sorta. But more force is put into making them.

Good. I'm hungry now. Thanks a lot! *Runs off to fridge*

SG, we have a snackbar, remember?

Lazy bum, get the first reply 984.

Hm. No.

*Comes back from the fridge* We only had waffles. We need more padawans, guys :O

Fine. GGCrono is up.

Hey there. I'm GG Crono 4 and you're not.

YES! Another free for all! There's something I've been wanted to rant about for quite awhile, so y'all just sit down, shut up, and listen!

One of the first games I got for Gamecube was Lost Kingdoms. I fell in love with it almost instantly. Not the best RPG in existance, but it was a damn good game. Had a good vs. mode as well.

Then I heard that Lost Kingdoms 2 was coming out, and I was ecstatic. I got the game, and I played it, and I fell in love all over again. The game was everything the first game was, and MORE! The gameplay was improved DRASTICALLY, there was a lot more to do...in short, it blew the first one out of the water.

Then, before I knew it...the game was OVER. I was fighting this tough boss, and when I beat it, the ending started.

My final game time: Eight hours.

EIGHT. dinky HOURS.

And I spend a good deal of time just futzing around.

WHAT THE FLYING dinky WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?!?!?!?

This game had SOOO much freakin' potential, and they cut it short! Even the first LK gave me over 20 hours! Words cannot DESCRIBE how dinky this made me!! I DID unlock this one new dungeon, called "The Proving Grounds", which I have yet to beat, but unless it takes me over 15 hours to beat it, I am STILL going to be pissed. And I can't even enjoy the VS mode, as I only know one other person who knows of this series.

All I can do now is hope that they make a Lost Kingdoms 3 and don't make the same mistake twice.

Thanks for listening. I really needed to vent this.

Until next time, this is GG Crono 4 dinky off! Peace!

Um. I don't really know what to say. One part of me wants to be sad, but the other, eviller part wants to laugh.

I like the evil part myself >_>. That's one of the reasons I like to do a bit of checking into games before I get them- I'm not going to pay $50 for an 8 hour RPG.

Yeah, unless they're really good :P

What about USaga? I'm sure you only played it for eight hours. :P

Or like 30. You're not counting all the saves I DELETED in rage.

30 hours. 8 hours. What's the difference? They're still only a blip on the cosmic timescale?

What's your point?

Just that infinity is greater than you.

Er, thanks. I guess.

It's not greater than me! :D

It's exponentially greater than you, SG.

Nuh uh!

SG is infinity.... PLUS ONE

YES! >:D

NO! >:O

>:)

;_;

Er uh, what I meant to say is, let's get the next reply! :D

Go ahead and get it then.

SG is everywhere, yet nowhere. Everything, yet nothing. He is a figment of our collective imaginations, AND the most real thing ever.

You watch too much South Park.

And I'm neato! :D

Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Screw YOU guys, I'M not getting the reply.

Grah, I got the last one. Someone else can do work around here.

You're closer.

ill getz itz!!1111!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Uncy Doc Shinryuu! :D:D:D:D:D:D

Why thanks you, Kagon.

Bah! That's not me! It's not ME!

You're a good boy, Kagon :D

Not me... not me... ;_;

tahnk u ESSGEE :D

:D

*Suddenly, the Mailbag door explodes in a loud, obnoxious manner. The smoke clears, revealing...

...

...A large hole. Doc Shinryuu sneaks up behind SG and whacks him with the +42 Paper Folding Fan of Grievous Bodily Harm.* What?! Are my Exits not good enough for you? Huh? HUH?! ...Aaanyway, hey all. Doc Shinryuu here. *Fanfare Fanfare Revolution! MAX!!!*

*blocks* Look, if I can change your actions, I can probly evade your wonder woman attacks. I'm a ninja, Doc. :D

Oh, Gods. Not ANOTHER Free-For-All... Aaanyway, I come to rant about... Final Fantasy X-2! Let's hit it with Pros and Cons:

-=Final Fantasy X-2=-

Pros:
-It's the first Final Fantasy with definite continuity with a previous FF!
-Yuna isn't a wimpy Summoner anymore!
-Paine caters to the Goth community!
-The Costume System caters to the larger Gamer demographic of "Sexually-Repressed Geeks"!

Cons:
-No more Blitzball... Even though it was a bit wierd in the first place...
-The Permanent-Active Mode might annoy Chess Strategists.
-Yuna's become a Britney Spears clone!(May fit in Pros in some others' views.)

Well, that's it. I'm out. *hits SG with the +42 Paper Folding Fan of Grievous Bodily Harm again* Keep this exit, demmit! *walks off, resting the Fan on his shoulder*

...*falls into the hole left by the previous explosion* Wah

Yuna thinks she's a clone now

I don't get it. :O

Not surprising, SG.

Yuna was better as a "wimpy" summoner. I think the huge change in character is kinda stupid myself.

Yeah, I think FFX-2 is gonna be stupid, period, but eh. :P

But she's an empowered woman now, Kag. Don't you get it? DON'T YOU GET IT?! Pig.

I guess I don't get it.

oink! :O

AHHH THAT ISN'T ME! *dives for FakeKag*

What's Kagon diving at?

I wish I could tell you the answer, but I don't know what it is! :O

Stop trying to make me look stupid!

:D:D:D:D

Kagon, are you feeling ok today? You're acting very peculiar.

I'm fine except for HIM! *points at FakeKag*

What are you pointing at?

HIM!

Who, me?

AHHH! *falls on the ground in tears*

:O

?

Maybe you should take a break, Kagon :O O:

Maybe I will... *runs out*

my diapy needs a cahange

Oh, is that all? I can help you with that.

Well, while you two take care of that, SG, I'll take care of Fanatic72802.

K :D

:D

Ow. That used up a lot of brainpower. Now I can let my mind vegetate whilst I impart unto you my words of wisdom, talking in a most sophisticated style while, in fact, feeding you an overdosage of crap. Let us continue.

Firstly, unlimited inventory. Okay, I go into the item shop. Ooh. Potion on sale for 20g. I have way more than 2000g! I think I'll buy 99 of them! No. Just...no. You all can if you want, but on games where you can buy 99 of any item, I'd rather give myself a challenge and limit myself to, maybe, 20 or 30? More challenging, and more realistic. I mean, 99 potions? Where do you hide it all? Maybe they're really tiny. Like, a shot glass. Oh well. Next overdosage of cr--I mean, next issue!

Secondly, I would like to shamelessly flame all those who think graphics are more important than story or gameplay in RPGs. Without further ado,
OMG U R STOOPID
(This comment has been paid for by the International'Apostrophe'Association.)

Thirdly, Battle items. What's the use? Sure, support battle items are swell, but what is the point of having an item with the effect of Fire2 if you can just have your black mage cast it himself? Sure, it saves MP, but MP is meant to be used, not hoarded! Unless, of curse, you're saving up for a boss fight, but then, you can just attack with your weapons. What difference does it make?

Finally, please feed Energon to Slalin. Poor Slalin's been looking slim these days. Shame on you for not keeping your pets in good health!

First, RPG worlds have mastered the law of conservation of mass, so they can break it. Secondly, okay. Not really a new point. Third, um? Because they're cool? I dunno. Fourth, done and done.

*Munches on Energon's head*

Oww...

WEll hmm 1. You have to think that the whole party does not have just one bag. :P Hell, in FF4, you can carry SETS of 99 of items :P 2. Graphics are just as important as any other part of the game. But it's not the quality, it's the way it fits the rest of the game. And 3. You usually get battle items before you get the spell, or they're good for having melee people use because the damage is somewhat fixed, like in Breath of Fire 1.

Or there can be games like Wild Arms 3 where the elemental stones were pretty useful.

Never played it, but don't doubt it. Battle items are normally not stupid. :P

Well, considering you had to have some weird gauge to be able to cast spells, elemental stones were really useful. And the damage changed depending on the MAG (I think) stat of the person using it.

So they were just simpler then, I assume? Or is it similar to wild arms 2?...Or you've never played that one have you. :P

Nyet.

Oh well :P Anyways, who gots the next reply? Cos I don't.

diapy bettah! :D:D:D:D

That's good :D Wanna be a doll and get the next reply? :D

:D:D:D:D pink lugia!

:D You're such a sweetheart :D

A poke ball is thrown into the mailbag room. The poke ball opens and a flash is seen. When the flash clears pink_lugia is seen in the mailbag room.

Hello mailbag team. It's been too long since I've replyed but, meh, I'm lazy, like you guys. And I would have never guessed that that piece of wood wasn't kagon until he popped up. Kagon, did you just have your growth spurt or something. You look bigger.

Anywho, it's a free for all. Yah! I've always wanted to rant about stuff without limits.

First of all, I must rant about ffta. What is with the moogles?! the first moogle you meet looks like a stuffed rabbit with little bat wings when it shows it's face. A moogle does not look like a stuffed rabbit close up. at least they got the sprite right.

On another matter, I've found a renewed vigour for pokemon games, mainly the new ones. Sure their colourful, kiddish, and quick, but it's truly fun playing the game with other people. trading, squishing newbies, being squashed by cheaters. And for the people that have played pokemon ruby and sapphire, I have a squirtle, mew, and will soon trade for a lugia and a ho-oh. so hahaha and there.

But something that really bugs me is that I can't afford any non-hand held console system or games, which makes me angry.

This being my worst reply ever I will leave you with the hungry slalin clone army

pink_lugia opens the door of the mailbag room, letting the hungry slalin clones in.

toodles

pink_lugia produces a poke ball and throws it on the ground and a great flash is seen. When the flash clears pink_lugia and the poke ball are gone and in their place is a note that reads

"Sincerely yours,

The Pink One"

One, I thought the moogles in FFTA looked kinda neat, Two, that's nice son, and Three, Gamecubes are now as expensive as a GBA SP, and PS2s are rumoured to drop to about the same price. And games of all systems are about the same price, so I don't know what you're talking about :P

Meh. Square can make the moogles look like whatever they want. What do you think, Kagon?

I think Moogles are funny x_x

You know what else is funny? Getting the next reply.

Hamsters are funny.

Are you implying we have a Hampster get our mail for us?

Nah. They just sing a simple song.

I see. Well get the next reply :P

It's Joe! Cue his theme music!

The cheers theme?

Er, no. The chugga one.

Oh, right! It's JOE! Chugga Chugga WOO WOO!

JOOOEEEEEE.... x_x

Joe! :D:D:D:D

YOU DO NOT EXIIIIST

Um. Yes I do.

Right uh, let's continue :O O:

Ooohh youve done it now.....

Evil Joe: whats he done?

Joe: I swear if you were any dumber you would sit on the TV and watch the sofa.

Evil Joe: what? your not supposed to?

Joe: *facepalms*

any ways.... I think that Ganondorf from Zelda: the wind waker should not be a samari-like warrior, its just wrong. I mean hes powerful and evil, not cool, Ganon should not be cool, and I was also wondering if wind waker is king Hyrule's first appearance do you guys know?

Evil Joe: *sits on TV and watches sofa*

Joe: GOOD GOD!!!!! *smacks Evil Joe with a bola and stuffs it in energon's pocket* Princess Kagon!! look a BOLA!!!

*points at energon and vanishes*

disembodied voice: Heh heh heh....

Evil Joe: *hops off the TV and leaves*

I don't...know what to say about this stuff cos I never played Wind Waker :P

Gannon needs to be in some comedy sports movies, like Gannondorf on Golf.

THERE IS NO PRINCSS KAGON! AHHH! *falls over*

ouchies!

Oh! Kaggie are you ok?

I got a boo boo

Awww...You want lav? :D:D

lavvy davvy

:D <3 :D

Why me?

:D?

Well, why not?

It's not fair! ;_;

All's fair in love and war.

Sure it is :D We treat you so well :D I would never change my dad's diapers :D

I don't wear diapers! AHH!

diapy! :D

Very good, Kagon. Now, a word from ClothHat.

ClothHat rocks!

Now only is that irrelevant to RPGs, but it's false.

You LOSE HAT!

You obviously don't understand that CH applies to RPGC, and RPGC applies to RPGs, so it does apply. Besides, everyone knows ClothHat rocks. I mean, he's friends with a squid named Ackbar.

Then there's the fact that Ack and CH want to BEE friends.

But he still doesn't rock. No matter what.

Yeah, very true.

And ClothHat has guest starred in a Dr. Seuss book.

And and and! The RPGC Friendship came into port, and Ackbar and ClothHat were on it! :D:D:D:D

:D:D:D:D

Stop smiling you fool!

Why the Friendship did come into port. We should smile about that, right SG?

Yeah :D

D:

Now that's just a bad Kagon :(

;_;

Way to make Kagon cry, SG.

But he was bad :( He didn't smile :D

I'm not crying!

Now now, there's no need to live in Egypt, Kag.

Boooooo!

What? It's not my fault you're in denial, Kag. Maybe you should sing a simple song.

I feel...so pretty...

What's the matter, Kag? Cat got your tongue?

Yes.

Yes! :P =^.^=

Shut up you!

... Now now, no need to yell at us, Kagon. You should cool off, maybe get the next reply.

Never!

Sure! :D:D:D Myotis Dragonscale

What a trooper.

I am NOT a newbie!!!

Myotis Dragonscale: That is who I am. Do desu ka(Japanese for How are You). So, this being my first free-for-all, I guess my topic will be what is the best CastleVania game made... Is it even possible to answer that question...? CastleVania is my favorite game series, and I bet everyone reading this that knows what I'm talking about is screaming: "Symphony of the Night!!! SYMPHONY OF THE NIGHT!!!", and I agree with them. That is my favorite. But the only one seconed to that on my list is Aria of Sorrow. Third being Harmony of Dissonance, and fourth would be Circle of the Moon.

Don't get me wrong... I like the others a whole lot, but those are my favorites. I swear, I am better at CastleVania than I am at anything else!

Okay then... 'til next time...

(A beam of Holy Light ten times the size of Bahamut and Leviathan combined bursts from the sky and makes Myotis vanish)

I thought Aria of Sorrow was better than Symphony of the Night. I dunno why, I just like it better.

The best Castlevania game was the first one made for the N64.

That game was horrible, ugh. Aira of Sorrow was wonderful, but I really haven't had the chance to play SotN yet.

SotN's really good. I think Aria of Sorrow is nicer though. I dunno why.

Castlevania 64...

Is cool?

Aye.

Is bad.

It's teh bestezt!

SILENCE!

I didn't say anything :O

Er, why are you yelling silence, Kag? That defeats the purpose.

But... he... you...

:D?

It's okay, Kagon. It's okay. Maybe the men in white should take you away.

They're coming to take me away, haha! They're coming to take me away!

:O O:

Shut up! No one's coming!

Kagon, calm down, don't worry...just sit down...have a hot pocket...

*sits down* But he won't shut up...

Mmmm! Hot pockets! :D~

Dude, hot pockets?

Maybe he wants a Lean Pocket.

Hot pockets are good.

Or a Croissant Pocket?

:D~

Know what I want?

Tell me.

I want SG to tell the topic for next time.

Fine by me.

Alright, the next topic, submitted be the LOVELY Miss Walhalla, is: What do you think of the means of transportation in RPGs? Which was your favorite? Least Favorite? And uh,also, I'll tack on a sort of 'come up with your own idea' for those who have silly ideas. :P

I like it!

*glares at FakeKag*

Who are you looking at? 984?

You know who!

Errr... No. We don't.

Yeah, thus my previous comment :O

I know your plots!

Kagon! Hot Pocket!

Uh?

i'm just keeding!

:D Aww, you're such a joker, Kagon!

:D

:D?

:D

Yay! :D

Well, you know where to send the replies, kiddies. And remember, same Bat Time, same Bat Channel! Do do do do do!

Dubbity DOOO!

...You know...Kagon's been having a lot of trouble lately. I think he's developed a personality disorder! :O I wonder what the problem is? I wonder if it was mine and 984's fault? Maybe...we should try to be more understanding with him? ...Nah, couldn't be. :P Now for Hot Pockets!