RPG Classics Mailbag

Phew... I should be more specific next time. Everyone got all excited that I was giving them room to rant about VERY BAD GAMES, but they ignored the next bit of it, which was where I asked how they'd make them better. That was really the part I was interested in. For example, to risk pissing off the majority of game players out there, my answer is EarthBound. It had a lot of potential, and I always hate games which have potential and don't use it more than ones that just plain suck. All they needed to do was clean up the menu system a bit, have battles that made some kind of sense, and get rid of that ridiculous psychadelic background and voila, we have a playable game. (For that matter, having a better translation and menu system for Xenogears, and distributing the story and exploration evenly over 2 discs instead of having all the exploration on disc 1 and all the story on disc 2, would have made it kick ass. But I digress.) So without further ado, or not much, we go on to...err.... the e-mail says Northside Book Market. Wow, we get an e-mail from an entire bookstore! Woo-hoo! Can you SIGN the damn things next time? I got one from someone who says I used his mother's name 'cause it was on the username. Well, if you sign your e-mail I don't make these mistakes, got it?

That was a really friggin' huge rant.

Engoud to make semone knocked outcold...

I know. I'm trying to cut back... sigh... Actually, this guy really did write in exactly what I asked, so sit back and enjoy.

Well, I've played a .lot of bad RPGs. But there is only one that I have forced my friends to play time in and time out, only to have the game thrown back in my face every single time. That is Paladin's Quest.

Paladin's Quest isn't entirely a bad game, mind you; It has a sort of cool storyline and a relatively innovative way to get new characters. However, it has many, MANY troubles. At the core of these problems is a massively unwieldy menu system. The simple act of accessing a character's item screen fills up the screen with countless windows. Trading items, equipping, etc. can become a surreal, tedious nightmare.

Of course, you still have to figure out what the items are. This game abbreviates everything so compactly that it would be impossible to pronounce the equipment you buy.

The game also features an "innovative' magic system that does away with MP, in the favor of spells consuming HP instead. This might not seem like such a bad idea, but believe me, it does not mesh well with the game mechanics.

Also, magic isn't nearly as good as it should be, considering how much work it is to raise the power of your spells. Add to these inconveniences a bizarre and sometimes obnoxious pastel look to the game, and slow, plodding game play, and you'll begin to understand the pain, if you haven't already.

I'd like to note that Lennus 2(Paladin's Quest 2 if you preffer.) seems a lot better, though it under translations....

Now, I know. The game isn't without merit. If they just cleaned up their menu interface, made comprehensible items, and tweaked their battles a little bit, it might actually be a pretty cool game, IMO.

I think I did play that once... I put it down after about ten second, though. Apparently there was a sequel to it, as well. RPGClassics' very own Sinistral now has some words of semi-wisdom to share with us.

Beyond the Beyond is beyond words.The music was so bad, I felt like driving ice picks in my ears would relieve the pain. The graphics were ordinary super nintendo quality (except for the fights, which weren't THAT bad). A lot of things seemed to have been ripped off from Shining Force 2 (the face system - you understand what I mean if you see it-, the game select menu, the use of mythril, upgrades and maybe a few other things I can't think of). On top of it, the game was ridiculously hard. The puzzles/mazes were maddening because it took so much time to go through 'em with nearly constant random encounters (oooh I made an oxymoron) and the fights bearely ever gave any money and experience while the monsters themselves were very hard. If that wasn't bad enough, the story wasn't really all that great. The game play wasn't too good either. In fights, you have HP, MP and LP (life points). When you run out of what little hp you have , you pass out for a round and lose a life point. out of life points? well, sorry...

My friend and I made a bet : who would beat it first. I quit after 10 hours of abuse in the multi level maze with extremely limited visibility where you get pushed down holes by "mu" heads (so you gotta climb again and make sure you don't screw up). My friend quit after 24 hours. He was stuck and sick of doing nothing. The people who dreamed up this pos are a plague upon humanity and I hope they die before something unholy like this is ever created again.

Shh! It wasn't so bad! Really!

Groan... what do you mean?

Nothing! Really! I swear! I had nothing to do with that game at all!

Don't try to convince us you were behind making bad RPGs. You can't even speak Japanese!

Uhh... sure I can! Konnichi-wa! Sushi! Futon! No Tudor! Onimusha!

Get a life.

I tried... but I haven't found a sale yet.

Well, go and look again, then... in the meantime, Quadraharpy will will endarken us with words of doofusness.

The worst RPG ever? Don't get me started. The Bard's Song (1988, Nintendo) Serves a a reminder of the weakness and folly of RPG manufacture during the not-so turbulent 1980's. A discouragingly-poor blend of abhorrent graphics, an odious plot, and a "music" soundtrack rivaling that of sounds emitted from between my asscheeks, lead to the most detestable, abominable, loathsome gameplay I have had the misfortune to come across in all of my 15 years. While reviews hold in high esteem it's advanced features for it's 1989 release, I find it simply revolting. Had I not been playing on an emulator, I would have thrown down the game in disgust. The Bard's Song lends itself to the fact that there is not one feature, not one facet of playability that would save it from it's fate as absolutely the worst RPG ever created.

A Pleasure As Always,

Quadraharpy

-- Also, after a few mailbags back letting Gilgamesh know of my fanhood, could you by chance drop Ex-Death down a plot hole? After all, he has no friends, and deserves it for his "White Ball" attack (for all you FFV players out there)

Sure he has friends! Lots of them! Just look at this guy!

*President of the Exdeath Fan Club*

Or this one!

*Treasurer of the Exdeath Fan Club*

Or that one!

*World Emporer Of The Yummy-Yummies Speed Record Feasting Club*

OK, so that doesn't prove much... Ahem. We now go on to Jake Gad, who will regale us with words of a semi-intelligent nature.

Now, simply so I can have the honor of a "you messed up" award, I'll start talking about the mailbag from two weeks ago. It changes after the second paragraph. I just needed this to keep my self-esteem low and ego large enough to make the average narcissist run off screaming. To make this paragraph completely and totally wrong in every way possible, I'll say that I actually like Khrima best of all male chars in adventurers. I'd say non-NPC's, but you don't actually DO anything yourself, except read. that kinda fits in with last week's so I'm apparently slowly making my way back. Besides, anyone who thinks Gorilla is spelled with a "p" must be capable of being more incoherent than I, and therefore must become my mentor.

My favorite song would be the starcraft version of "twelve days of X-mas." Even though that wouldn't even be fitting for that mailbag, and that's a lie, I liked it. I actually prefer the field music from BOF between the king giant burning/drowning and getting Gobi.

HEY! Did I give you permission to steal my Messed Up Award? Who let him nick the Messed Up Award? Ozzie!

Zzz...snrkk...huh...wha?

You were supposed to be guarding the Messed Up Award! Now look what you've done! Can you imagine what'll happen if people just go around giving themselves awards? Total anarchy! Chaos! People walking around with spaced-out smiles!

Well, I never expected any sane person to steal the damn thing!

You should know better! We don't get ANY sane people reading this mailbag!

Oh... right...

Stupide Pig-Lizard....

Now that that's out of the way, here goes:

Very simply put, the worst RPG I have ever played, seen, or heard of is Beyond the Beyond, a Genesis game if you haven't experienced the horror. The graphic's aren't that bad, they were above average for the era, and all the sound was drowned out by my last shreds of sanity screaming, so I can't complain about the technicalities. It wasn't exactly incoherent (compared to this), and the actual poorness of the writing itself made me too depressed to kill myself. That's enough of trying to find something good about it, onto fixing it.

BURN IT! COMPLETELY RE-WRITE IT! GIVE IT A BATTLE SYSTEM THAT WORKS FOR PEOPLE WITH LESS THAN 15 THUMBS! MAKE THE MAGIC USEFUL! GIVE IT A PLOT THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF THE PLAYER! Or simply having bosses somewhere between no challenge and mind-numbingly difficult (as if anyone who would play this sober doesn't already have a complete lack of sense and the senses) would make it a bit better. It seemed that, with all the bosses, once you figured out how to hit it safely, you wouldn't get hurt unless you either tried something stupid or time saving. That is, of course, unless you stand still and hack away, which is usually an even match, until your human instincts pop in and tell you to run off and save yourself, where the bosses trip you repeatedly and then kill you.

It took me loner to kill a regular fish in the pond, and I died several times more fighting them than the average boss. It doesn't quite take 15 thumbs to use battle controls, but it takes minimal co-ordination. I doubt many gamers have that, and I have no hand-eye co-ordination at all, I can barely find the controller first try anymore. yet they expect me to rotate the control pad three times counter-clockwise while pressing the B & C buttons alternately at a set rate while holding down A, all before anything moves since I began the sequence. Most of the complicated attacks are only useful when tightly surrounded, where I wouldn't have enough room to rotate the control pad anyway.

There was one other point, but talking about this game without cursing makes me physically sick, so I'll just suggest that you burn the cartridge if you have it. or otherwise destroy it.

That's two Beyond the Beyonds and one Bard's Song coming up. Large or extra-large? Jarlaxle?

As long it dosen't invole Jar-Jar Blinks...

Hey Cid, this is Jarlaxle. When I read this week's question, one game above all others immediately came to mind and would not go away. Final Fantasy Mystic Quest. The beginning, in my recollection. Title screen opens up, then a box comes up on the screen saying "Insert your name." My brother is nearby watching me play, so me, being a nice brother, put his name in. D-A-N-I-E-L. Fade to black. Fade in to a character lying in bed in an inn. Another one walks in and screams "Daniel, Daniel, wake up! We have to save the world! Wake up!" And the game only got worse.

Actually... you start off on a hill about to explode with a mysterious old man... but the principle's the same, I guess...

The incredibly basic plot line was ridiculous, considering that FF4's was incredible. How can a company go as braindead as they did with this one? Go here, get a crystal. Go there, give it to old wise man, he gives you sword. Go back home. Go to waterfall. Get water stone. Bring to wise old man. Gives you sword. And the game only got worse.

Granted, the "battlefield" idea was a novel one, but an evaluator should have played the game before they released it, for the battlefields only served to frustrate me and make me punch things, including my little brother conveniently sitting nearby. The fact that each battlefield had 10 fights, and that you had to complete all of them was ridiculous, as was the fact that the monsters returned when you came back. "But didn't I just kill them all?" The concept of jumping on the main screen was stupid, as were pixillated monster figures mechanically crawling from place to place. Also, the alternate characters who joined your party, such as the dwarf, the archer, and the guy with bombs, were infinitely stronger than you, the main character. Odd isn't it?

The best (and by that I mean worst) part of this game was the lightning spell. A dark cloud floats over the enemy's head, a little bolt appears from it, and the cloud moves off the screen. Hilarious. Simply pathetic and hilarious.

I truly believe there is no way to improve this hideous game. It is a disgrace to RPG's everywhere.

Many many people point to FFMQ as Square's major mistake: giving Square USA leeway to develop a game of their own. The only other one they ever did was Secret of Evermore, and look where that led to. Nope, we stick to letting the Japanese do stuff their way so we can swoon over it when it finally reaches our shores. And now, if you'll let me indulge, I will print a letter so delightfully moronic, so campily annoying, that it should prove hours of fun! And the amazing thing is that apparently none of it is intentional at all, if you can believe that. Dark-Vampire, you may take it away.

Greetings my dear Ciddo and Lunar-Boy

Remind me, Lunaris... what do I do to people who call me Ciddo?

You do NOTHING, like I saide ! I JUST BLOW THEM UP MYSELF !

Well, wait a while. You'll see stuff to make you a bit madder than you already are, heheheh...

You too fat lizard dude !

I ain't fat! I'm just... unevenly balanced!

The worst RPG huh ? It would be non-the-less thoses 3 ir order of the greatest suker to the leastest :

1-FF5
2-Robotreck
3-Legend of Mana

Final Fantasy 5 : This sucks becaus of the damn job-system why din't they put it like FF6 and FF4 where everyone had his/her specialisation ?! Job-system rules in FFTactics but it doesn't fit in the combat system of the original FF that's why I think FF5 sucks so much ! And besides that there's also the lack of story collect all crystals and then pursui the evil Ex-Death and kill him ! Wohoooooo what an ineteresting story !

Ah. Instead of "collect all the crystals and pursue the evil Chaos" or "collect all the crystals and pursue the evil Mana Beast" or "collect all the crystals and pursue the evil Necron" - er, okay, not the last one. Oddly enough, lots of people love the FF5 storyline, which is certainly a lot deeper than that. Maybe you weren't paying attention, though.

Another thin which sucks you just have the damn 4 same characters all along with the exception of Galuf which die and is replaced by Cara .I mean they could have put some originality in there like FF4 you were changing team members because of the storyline which was great ! Well I think that's about it for FF5.

*insert sound of Megaman X powering up his much-hyped Ragnarok Buster*

Just say your a FF6 purist and it will be fine.

Robotreck : Man did you see thoses graphics ? They sucks it's the least thing I can said ! And the stupid machine they use to create robots just look's so childish and it's so stupid it's look's like your SNES controller ! The storyline sucks there's too because your path is already decided you have to follow the same road all along the game wihotu asking questions and just obying !!! I hate games like that ! Plus the battle system which was greatly sucking,your main character couldn't even defend himself without his robots ! What kind of RPG was that ?

It something that Pokemon have riped off from. Just don't insulte Robotreck anymore ! I TRANSLATED THAT GAME YOU KNOW !

Legend of Mana : There is no storyline !!!!!!!!! Just ''Missions'' or ''Scenarios'' I hate that game for that !! Plus the fact that you need to find specific areas where the enemies match your current Level.I mean what is the point of fighting Level 26 enemies when your Level 45 ? But I gotta admit that the boss music and the greater boss music rocks ! But the characters controls kinda sucks too there.

*insert sound of Sinistral and legions of Seiken Densetsu fans powering up their equivalent of Armageddon Busters...*

Well that's about it oh and there's something for ya Luna-Boy :

''D-V beings to sing and is protected by his Anti-Rocket-Launcher-Riffle-Nuclear-Bombs and all Arms Suit''

There was a Boy with loving guns
But he was so an addict that he had to take drugs

Who, me ? You mistakes me with VD, it seems.

That's why he's down all the times
And no-wonder why we're always mocking him
'Cause he don't know how to rock-in !

He's an drug addict

Nah, just Triple Triad addict.

And certainly not an Artist !
Come on Luna show us what you got !

I would but it G-Rated.

If you even rock !

Let's make fun of him
'Cause he's a bit a retarding
This guy need a serious psychanalist

I DID consulted one, but the poor killed himself after the first session. Go figure.

'Cause he's not a pacifist

If there's someone who love war
That must be the tough one on the rear end so far
Luna boy is sure a weird one !
'Cause he doesn't even know how to spell one !

Well that's it hope you like it ! ''Fly way and dissapear''

Mwhhaahaha

You want to know something? I've seen songs that make no sense and rhyme. I've seen songs that make sense and don't rhyme. I've seen Oasis's songs, that make no sense, don't rhyme, and sound cool. But I've never seen a song that a) makes negative sense; b) doesn't even try to rhyme; c) seems to be written by someone on drugs, although that's common enough; and d) is completely misspelled yet tries to insult someone about his spelling.

Wait a minute...he was trying to INSULTE me ? Din't work well...

Er... all hail Lunaris of the thick skull! That was fun. Now let's go all the way to the other side of the spectrum. I Abibde, take it away. But make sure to give it back when you're done, 'cause Ozzie's a horrible guard.

This is the third time I have tried to type up a response for the Mailbag this week. It was going to be much longer, but AOL Instant Messenger likes to lock up my computer at the end of the first paragraph. To be a little more brief, then, I would like to express my thanks for making use of my suggested topic last week, and for dropping a certain Italian plumber down a plot hole normally reserved for a certain green-skinned gas bag. That said, the worst video role-playing game that I have ever played, in my opinion, was the Nintendo Entertainment System version of Ultima III, called Ultima: Exodus. I did not mind the dinky graphics, since they were normal for the time, but it lacked characterization, a plot that could maintain the interest of the player, a coherent script, and, most especially, a good system for building up the heroes. The enemies became harder as the party went up levels, but the rewards they gave to the party upon being defeated did not change. In addition, the enemies in the eight "dungeons" became harder as the party went further down into the murk, no matter what levels the heroes had on their side. Not only that, but in order to advance past a certain level, the party had to make a trek to a distant land to recover some precious items, but that was only possible after countless hours of getting money together. Thus, Ultima: Exodus was an uphill struggle the whole way through the game, and for what? I don't know, because it was so insanely difficult that I gave up on it and did the only thing I liked about the game: I killed innocent townspeople out of sheer frustration. To improve that mess of a game would be difficult, but it would helped a great deal by substantially reducing the lethal tedium. No good player likes to be bored ... well, then again, I did spend all that time on Final Fantasy VIII, so I may not have any room to talk.

Nonsense, you've got plenty of room. See all the room I've just given you? I'm just naturally generous, I guess. Lots of folks like the idea of killing townspeople, though. Kinda like a fond memory of mine about the first time I tried Sim City and spent the bulk of an hour using preset cities and unleashing all sorts of natural and unnatural disasters on them, culminating in a Godzilla attack. Ah, those were happier times... Mecherath will now engage us with words of rotundity. (I'm running out of ridiculous-sounding adjectives, aren't I?)

Just to make a long e-mail, I'll just pick my worst RPG ever from every system I've had major access to, starting with Nintendo.

I was never really a fan of the Dragon Warrior series either, but that's mostly because by the time I got access to them, I had already played games like Ultima - Quest of the Avatar, and Final Fantasy I. One thing that annoyed me most was having a special command to go up or down stairs. What else would you do in a tile consisting of only a staircase?

As for the Playstation, I've yet to play an RPG there I didn't like. Granted, my experience is limited to about 6 games. Tactics Ogre, Breath of Fire 3, Breath of Fire 4, Star Ocean 2, Suikoden 2, and Final Fantasy Tactics. The worst there for me would be Final Fantasy Tactics, and only because I think it paled in comparison to Tactics Ogre. Of course, I'm a little biased against PSX FF games, since I'm upset that they left Nintendo. But in retrospect, they really should have made the N64 CD-based anyway. Game Cube won't make the same mistake.

Speaking of N64, Quest 64 would have to be the worst RPG there. Granted, there are only 4 games that I would really consider RPGs, and except for Ogre Battle, they're all a stretch. The other games not mentioned are, of course, the Zelda games, which are more action/adventure than RPG anyway. Quest 64 was a joke! The graphics were pretty cool, I guess, and I'm partial to games that deal with the four elements, but c'mon! Quest RPG: Brian's Journey for the Gameboy was better. At least it allowed you to combine the elements in some way. But as bad as Quest 64 is, Ogre Battle 64 is that much better.

But for the absolute worst RPG ever, we have to turn to Super Nintendo. By far the worst one on this console would have to be Tecmo's Secret of the Stars. Remember that one? Well, not many people do. I don't know what made them think making football games gives them the right to make RPGs, but they tried anyway. I never played through it very far, but from what I remember, the battle system stunk, and it was really annoying to always switch between characters (with the X-button, I believe).

Well, that's my first contribution to the fabled mailbag.

Awww, a newbie. That chokes me right up, sniff... anyhoo. Yep, Quest 64 has been roundly denounced as brainless tripe. So has Secret of the Stars (Megaman X agrees, but spent too much time zapping Ozzie for me to print that letter. Let this be a lesson to you. NO ONE zaps Ozzie but me! And no one gives out awards but me!)

Ah, but how'd anyone know if it wasn't me masquerading as you?

They'd ask a routine skill-testing question which you'd fail miserably.

... ... ...That's it. I'm going to sulk.

You do that. For us, Future Trunks has an... um, interesting contribution to the topic.

The worst RPG. Do Action RPG's count? You didn't specify, so I'm gonna use one! MWAHAHA!!!

Oh, you're so evil, you are. I'm cowering, lookit.

I'm gonna say "The Legend of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link." A horrible game if I do say so myself, and I do.

First, The name itself! Wasn't the original Legend of Zelda an adventure of Link? And all the other Zelda games at that? Geez! Insert "Shigeru Miyamoto messed up!" sign here.

Second, when you see an enemy on the battlefield, you can't swing your sword at them. And when you run into them/they run into you, you didn't get a random battle, Oh no! You got into a stupid platform mini-game that rarely even included that enemy in it! Insert "Shigeru Miyamoto messed up again!" sign here.

Third, You could not get new weapons or upgrade your sword. 'Nuff said. Insert "Shigeru Miyamoto messed up once more!" sign here.

And 4th, When you went into a dugeon, you got yet another Platform area! There's so much platform action, it should have been called "Super Zelda Bothers"! Insert "SHIGERU MIYAMOTO IS A FREAKIN' DUMBASS!!!" sign here.

And how would I make it better? Well, there's only one way to make this game better. Destroy all copies, delete it from history, and change "A Link to the Past" to Zelda 2. All in all, the Adventure of Link sux!

D'you know, there's not a single item in there that makes any coherent sense? "Man, that game had a bad title, it sucks!" "I can't understand this battle system or why it makes a lot of sense to everyone else, so it sucks!" "You can't upgrade your sword, it sucks!" Wacko. O_o Just for that I'm going to print another wacko. Geo121 Wacko.

The worst RPG I have ever played is final fantasy 8. It had cool FMV's and good music, but aside from that, it was junk. The leveling system was awful. Every monster was an even match for you,even bosses, making it too easy.

The only challenge in the game was the final boss, which had several battles rolled into one. The idea of a draw system may have not been such a bad one, if it were used like the blue magic system, but it sadly was not. Also, I have a question for you. Would you like fries with that?

For all the reasons I didn't like FF8, the leveling system was NOT one of them. It was actually one of the reasons I loved it, because there was no stupid leveling up! And as for challenge, a) the card battle was pretty damn challenging, and b) Omega Weapon.

Omega Weapon what?

Omega Weapon nothing. He just had to be there. He was pretty damn tough. And the only reason I printed this is because I just finished reading Johnny And The Bomb by Terry Pratchett, and anyone else who's read it would understand what that has to do with Geo's e-mail. And if you haven't read it, do it. Now. I'll wait.

*six months later*

Hah, I knew you'd come crawling back here! And to reward you, I will print Adamant's letter.

Hi Cidolfas, it's Adamant again.
I said you would see me this week too, right.

Well, the worst RPG I have played.

Lemme guess....Rise of the Triad ? No wait, that ain't even a RPG...Do continue.

Hmmm, hard question, but I think I have to go for Mysterium (GB). No one has played it probably, but it's some kind of maze RPG. (if you know what I mean).
Well, to make it better, first I would make turnbased battles (not the press-a-button-as-fast-as-you-can-while-making-sure-the-crosshair-is-at-the-enemy-battles. That's not fun) Then, I would make overhead wiew, a better map, more hints on what to do, people to talk with, multi-person-parties, Save system (not password), item shops, an overworld, bosses, ...

Well, I think that just sums up everything.

See you next week.

So basically you'd turn it into a Final Fantasy. Where's the variety in that? Come on! You've got to have some sort of difference! Overhead view, item shops, and bosses don't make an RPG. Ahem. Our semifinal contribution comes from Derek Allen.

Dear god I hope no one would say make it 16 bit!! Why the hell would we develope technology if we wern't going to use it? Anyway, I didn't want to get off on a rant but it seems I did anyway. Personally I prefer sprites to polygons, but I wouldn't say a game was bad just because it had polygon characters. However if it were up to me...wait! What the hell am I talking about! let's get back on topic! The worst RPG I have every played...hmmm....Final fantast 8 would have to take the cake. First thing off I would change the character design a lot, so that they didn't look so realistic, I don't play final fantasy to see Polygon replica humans! I play it to see Colorful people with weird hair color and big shiny eyes!...Umm..anyway moving on. Another major qualm I have with it is that the final bad-guy just pops up! Argggg! It makes me soo mad! That trend should have been broken! After FF4, FF5,6 and 7 all had bad-guys who played a large role in everything! ack! Just because some designers have writers block, I get stuck with some "Super powerful mighty-center of darkness" Boring badguy! Ack i'm giving myself a hernia, I had better calm down... Anyway, these two thing were my biggest qualms with the game, but wait, there is one more. Squall reminds me of Cloud a little to much...the whole "Serious macho bad-ass good guy" thing get's a little boring. Ug I've drug this out a little to long, soooo...Take it away Cid!

P.S. Even Ozzie had a better story then the bosses in FF8 and 9! Geez...

Ho yeah! Sock it to 'em!

Sigh... And I thought I had to cut back on ranting... Anyhoo, this one didn't make a bunch of sense either, but at least he KNEW he made no sense, which turns it into self-parody, which is perfectly acceptable. So there. Our real-final entry (I almost didn't add it 'cause it was late, but I had a soft spot and a bit of extra time) is from Big Mad Adrian.

First of all, id like to say hello to Ozzie, and Cidolfas, but mostly Ozzie.

HEY!

My letter wasnt posted before, so i hope it will be this time. The question of worst rpg was at first very hard for me to answer, but i finally thought of one--Final Fantasy VIII--now, i know i probably just made a lot of people very angry, but ive made a list of things i didnt like about the game(dont worry its not that long)

-no MP, you have to "draw" magic from enemies
-too much of a reliance on espers(why did they call them guardian forces?)Weapons deal too little damage, especially against bosses. Then if your esper dies....
-you have to choose between draw, magic, GF, and item as well as a mess of other things. When your GF died you couldnt revive it, because you had draw! At least this happened to me.
-timed hits even in the limits. If i want timed hits i'll play super mario rpg, which i enjoyed more than this game
-finally, the graphics. The game starts off with an awesome cinematic, and continue to have cinematics in stupid places(like when they introduce Zell)put the normal walking and battle graphics did not impress me

Now i dont want to drone on too much longer, but i hope even die hard FF fans will consider some of the things that ive said. I dont have some mailbag name yet, so just call me adrian.

Okay, adrian. Hmmm... you could turn timed hits off if you wanted, the graphics were, well, way better than FF7, to say the least, and by the end of the game, weapons dealt more damage than GFs by far. Still, the battle system was sufficiently boring enough to make it onto the worst-RPG list, yes.

That's like a wussy way of saying "you're right, but I'll nitpick you first".

Nothing wrong with that! Anyway: next week's topic should have been offered before, and maybe I'll even turn it into a two-week run because it's so widespread. What cliche do you think should be roundly deleted from future RPGs? Random battles? Overhead views? Generic heroes? Inns healing dead people? Characters having only one wardrobe? (For a nice and huge list of them, check out this document from thegia.com.) I hope to hear from you at cidolfas@rpgclassics.com. Bee There Orr Bee A Rectangular Thyng.

Seeya!

Remmber : I'm third on the Evil Scale ! FEAR ME !