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RPG Classics Mailbag

...Well, I still believe that physical reality is composed of absolute objects and fields.

You must be joking. The elementary phenomenon is the basic constituent of reality. Haven't you read Niels Bohr's work?

Was it not Bohr who said: "If you have a correct statement, then the opposite of a correct statement is of course an incorrect statement, a wrong statement. But when you have a deep truth, then the opposite of a deep truth may again be a deep truth"?

It is impossible, from our standpoint, to attach an unambiguous meaning to the view sometimes expressed that the probability of the occurrence of certain atomic processes in the body might be under the direct influence of the will. The freedom of the will is to be considered as a feature of conscious life which corresponds to functions of the organism that not only evade a causal mechanical description but resist even a physical analysis carried to the extend required for an unambiguous application of the statistical laws of atomic mechanics.




... It something I saide?

OK, what are you two doing on my time? Enjoying yourselves, are you?


Good. And what are you doing here, pray tell?


There you are! Prepare to die! ...oh, hi Cid. Mind a few blood stains on the carpet?

Of course I do! I got that installed just last week and Ozzie cleans it every night!

Damn... guess I'll have to just settle for non-fatal punishment again. Aren't you the lucky ones?

Yeah, lucky us.

He made me do it!

Traitor! I mean... no I didn't, it was your idea!

Hey, no fair! I never had anyone to blame before!

But I had. *grins evily*

Well... seeing as everyone's already here... what say we do a team mailbag?

Hmmm... it's been a while since I've done this. But sure, what the heck. It never hurts to help.

Speak for yourself.

Hee hee! OK, since this is originally my mailbag, I'll be the supreme in-charge leader person. Any objections?


Good. Anybody else?

Yes, I object to the word "originally". Originally, the mailbag was mine. So by that reasoning, I should be in charge.

*sweatdrop* Well, when I say originally, I don't really mean originally, of course... er... okay, let's see our first rant!

I think that the new site is great. Although some spots still need a little tweaking, I feel we are way past par compared to the old RPGC during the J*m days. I also like the mailbag at the top. I am lazy and don't like to scroll more than one lot much less a city block. (^_^) For more RPG related topics, I think that some one needs to knock Nintendo's CEO off his high horse and tell him to get off his power trip. I think that NOT releasing the GameCube is ridiculous. I think that he is about 5 cans short of a 6 pack if you ask me.......

The Black Ninja

...I wasn't done objecting yet.

Oh yes you were. So... J*m, eh? I think he should get his name officially changed to J*m, CATS, or The All-Around Bad Guy. That'd make him better known, anyway.

That Nintendo CEO guy could learn a thing or two from what happened to J*m...

Oh yes... underground video game movements unite! Onto rant number two, by Big Mad Adrian Nadler.

Hey there Cidolfas, it's Adrian, and commenting on rpgc's new look, I think it's great, everything is organized better, and it looks cooler too.

But on with the rant, I wrote in to Megaman X's battle royale and I think I had a pretty good fight, but he sends it back, says think of something better, and -gasp- insults my grammar! I have perfect grammar and spelling (or near perfect), and I actually used punctuation this time so no one can say anything about that! And he was angry when I said Zero was cooler than him!! Zero is cooler! He's got a lightsaber and doesnt have to use armor to do everything!!! Have you seen him fight Sigma in Megaman X4!?! I don't think I like Megaman X.........

That's OK. About half the known world doesn't either. Plus some unknown bits.

I like him! He made fun of Macc!

Hey Cid, how about octopus surprise for dinner?

Nope, sorry. Not kosher.

Are you crasy, Macc? Remmber what happened on New Tonoe?....Besides...I din't maimed Ultros yet...*Turn to Ultros, take out a few rocket lauchers and rush after!*

Yaaaaahhhh! *runs away, flapping his tentacles*

By the way has anyone seen that new N64 rpg-- Aidyn Chronicles the First Mage?? Trust me, you don't want to. THQ doesn't even know what an rpg is. They left out important things in the game like (I made a list)
-Music that has any distinguishable beat or rhythm.
-A battle system that allows you to successfully fight some normal enemies. I got my ass kicked by a bunch of wolves, because it was night time!
-Being able to revive characters when they die. This is ultra annoying, because there are what, 13 characters in the whole game?
-And finally the most annoying thing, no map, yet a huge world full of twists and turns, and blank spaces!! All you have is a compass!!
Anybody who even considers playing this game should kick themselves. I know I did. I said FF8 was the worst rpg? I take it back. Burn all copies of this game. It doesnt deserve any of our time.

Was my letter too long?? I hope you include it. Oh and Ozzie what's the deal with Flea anyways?? Until next week bye bye!

Well, we got together because I thought she was hot... I found out the truth the hard way... shudder...

... ...NEXT!

Hi Cidolfas, Lunaris and Ozzie. It's good that you FINALLY got round to the Mailbag, we've been stuck waiting for sooooo loooooooonnnngggggggg that we can even tolerate Ozzie being dropped down plot holes. That joke is getting old, and besides, since Macc invented it, wouldn't he have a...a...a...A CONTRACT about that?

Not really... you can't copyright a joke. Believe me, I tried. Anyway, I gave Cid a limited version of my Instant Plot Device(tm). At the rate he's using it, it'll run out of charges soon, at which time he can either pay me a huge sum of money for a recharge, or he'll have to think of a better idea.

Oh man... gotta call up my insurance agent...

Anyway, you said the topic was about the new site. Welllll...

*999 years later, Lavos arises, and the world begins to be destroyed*

Arggh...stupid spikeball. Anyway, I really like this new site. The staff are better, and the layout rules. However, it's moving pretty slowly. There's still heaps of sites to be uploaded, but once all those sites are up, it'll be good. Keep up the good work.

Argh...stop it Lavos! Bad spikeball! Bad, bad, ba- *gets shot by Lavos and dies*

Poke Lyle

Well, that's the first mailbag entry I've ever got where the writer killed himself at the end.

I really don't like that kind of people. They should all be shot.

Oh, yeah, that'll teach em.

It's been a while since I contibuted to the mailbag (in fact my last contribution was when I had my old e-mail address of, and Macc was the head of the mailbag). Anyway to fill anyone in who may have forgotten about me, I'm Dan with the new e-mail address of

Danman5311! Danman5311! ...heh. Sorry about that. Old habits die hard.

Now, on with my thoughts. I think that the new layout of RPGClassics is great. The background isn't that bad, and the banner is excellent. Some things I'd like to see in the new mailbag is some can I put this?...More less serious topics. For example, remember last Summer when Macc did that Survivor/Big Brother mailbag? Well, I feel more topics that involve humorous RPG notions would be good. But if you feel that you should, make a serious topic once in a while. I don't mind.

Well, people haven't sent in any corny topics and I can't think of them! My mind just doesn't work that way! Unless you can change my mindset using horrible cliched mad scientist methods, let's hear some ideas, huh? Or are you all talk, buddy?

I WOULD offer some suggestions, but Cid has too much pride to get down on his hands and knees and beg me for help.

*gets down on hands and knees and begs for mailbag topics* I said, he has too much pride to get down on his hands and knees, hand me large sum of money, and beg me for help.

Okay, let's stop this right here. Huh. Ingrate.

I hope to continue contributing to the mailbag, and to keep in touch with Gilgamesh (who still needs to beat Exeath up!). BTW I haven't forgotten about what Kefka, Edward, Gilgamesh and Ultros did to me!! You little shi...I mean (C'mon Dan get a hold of yourself, this is a family mailbag!) I mean you little pieces of cow dung! You stole my creativity, but alas I bought some more on eBay and I'm building a devilishly fiendish contraption that fry you all!!! PLEASANT DREAMS!!!!!! This is Dan signing out!

Notice how no one signs in before signing out? Sigh... onto Adamant's entry!

Yay, it's me again.
Happy now?
Uhh, yeah.
First, I would say this weeks mailbag "topic" wasn't the most creative I've seen.
But whatever.

I thought it was pretty damn creative. You've never seen one like it before, have you? So there.

Hopefully Gamecube will get some good RPGs, *coughQuest64cough* unlike N64.
What has happened since the SNES era?
Except for Yamauchi not wanting a contract with Square...
GBA will at least get Magical Vacation, and hopefully FFIV - FFVI remakes.
Also, I do think Macc's Farts 5 is coming slowly. (yes, I found that farts 5 "secret")

What secret? I don't know what you're talking about. And yes, I know I'm slow, but you can't rush the creative process. Not without a big fat check, anyway.

Well, the new site design is nice. And all the shrines will hopefully be up soon, and I do hope for a FFVI shrine update soon. Oh, yeah, FFCompendium is one of the best FFsites out there, really. MBR As I didn't answer the RPGcliches mailbag, I'll just say the "people who starts talking when you press a button, without saying anything first-cliche" is getting on my nerves.
Thus, I said what I wanted, except for: I send a mailbag entry to MegamanX.

And we'll all sleep better tonight knowing that incredibly important piece of information. Future Trunks is up next.

You gave me PERMISSION to make Random Ramblings??? Ooh, BAD idea! Nah, I'd never put that on RPG Classics...

I like the new mailbag style. It's pretty cool.

Now, about RPGs, I've got some stuff to talk about! My good friend, Gundam Deathscythe, has recently informed me about an upcoming game named Final Fantasy Chronicles. It includes 2 games (like Anthologies) which are Final Fantasy 4(Hard Mode) and Chrono Trigger.

FF4- This is the "Hard" mode, of the game, it's more challenging then the one released in America. It's also got better translations. No more "Spoony Bard"!!!

Chrono Trigger- Everyone's FAVORITE Final Fanta-WAIT A MINUTE! This isn't a Final Fantasy game! Well apparently it counts. This is good for those people who can't find/afford Chrono Trigger for the SNES.

About that old 'cliches' topic, Here's one I'd rid of. Happy little morals! I hate that! It's the end of the game, and do you wanna here the characters talk about the values they've learned? NO! You wanna kick some Boss ass!

That the spirit! Who cares about that you stole all the banks, shops, never payed the inn stays! You saved da world! You want to kill the bad boy who messed up with your character's head!

And in response to some: Ness, In Summoner you bring Bactite Tails back to the Sewer Cleaner for 50 gold a piece. That's sort of like that... Someone said something about Bosses revealing their true form, I think, but I couldn't remember who. Anyway, I kinda like that, because you expect it, and I like wondering what it'll look like. So there!

And why's Macc giving me a cookie? Is he helping with the mailbag again?

I am now, apparently. But don't worry, I won't make a habit out of it. Unless you want me to, of course, in which case I point upwards to my earlier comment about a big fat check.

That's about all. I'm creating a shrine for Summoner for the Playstation 2, so I'll be a staff member soon! :)

Yay! More staff members! Like we don't have, what, two dozen already. Well, the more the merrier! Right, Megaman984?

Mailbag Man? Do you actually want us to call you Mailbag Man? That name sounds like a Mega Man Robot Master reject. But I schouldn’t comment on that considering what my name is.

Nah, that'd be taking Macc's copyright way out of line. Nice idea for one of those MUSHs though, if I ever do one of them (read: never). I am Mailbag Man, who attacks with bunches of electronic envelopes! Hey, it's better than leaves... maybe.

I can see it now... Mailbag Man!

Anyway, I like the new RPGC layout. The old layout just seemed to dark and unfriendly. This layout has a happy tone to it. The old page had, as Clark Howard would say, Customer No-Service. This new layout seems much more user friendly.

For the future Mailbags, I hope there are a few more comedic topics. I know some of the topics could be turned comedic, but I just don’t have the kind of power to do that every week. True, you don’t have the power to make every Mailbag topic have comedic possibilities, so I guess a 50-50 split would be good.

That’s all I have to say. Read into it what you will.

I read into it... that our troubles will end... gas prices will drop to fifty cents a litre... a strange blue-skinned man will take over our airwaves... what do you read into it, Macc?

I read into it that the All Your Base craze will keep going until 2238, when Cats is finally declared ruler of the universe and starts a war against the forces of Pokémon.

Whew! An apocalyptic prediction if I ever heard one... Rirse sent something in, so I guess I have to post it, huh?

Hey Cidolfas, I'm finally back on track with posting to the mailbag finally. Gladly the evil force of nature is gone, and so is Jim too. Anyways, I would like to talk to you about...

: Do you want the power, Ozzie?

Uh, my mommy told me not to take power from strangers...

Whoa, whoa! What do you think this is? You think you can just come in here and bring in extra characters and manipulate my sidekicks? This is my mailbag, remember? I wield absolute power here! Observe!

: Rirse was gonna make me do something incredibly corny, but instead I'm gonna stand on my head, say "ZOINK!" and disappear! Watch!

*says "ZOINK!" and disappears*

Well that was odd, anyways, I love the new design and the mailbag that is crazy(which is why Grahf came I guess). If this site never had anymore mailbag, then it would hurt me a lot. For the bag is what kept me going durning Jim takeover. And I hope you get a second henchman soon, like how Macc had Ultros and Gilgamesh and DragonGod has those two Seiken Desiksu 3 enemies. Maybe you can take Grahf off my hand and turn him into your lovey employee to be hit by Lunaris' Pie O' Mactic 2000. And maybe have a topic about if there was one villian you were wanted to see good in that RPG, who would it be. Well so long Cidolfas and have fun with Grahf if you keep him.

Well, looks like Grahf's already gone... oh well. He wouldn't be able to hold down a job here anyway. Too many work hazards.

Like insane psychopathic homicidal maniacs.

Hey! Don't force me to go Quad-Damages on you, piggy!

Well well well, RPGC and Jim and Rast have been in quite a bit of turmoil lately, and poor little Cidolfas has had his mailbag toyed with. Durned servers... Well seems as though Ozzie, Lunaris, and Cidolfas all have survived the "shift in the space-time continuum" if you can call it that. One person who DID NOT survive, or so it seems, is, *gasp* Mario! He either fell down a neverending plothole during the turmoil or is too stupid to find his way back to the mailbag.

I almost did too, but I managed to run away.

Gah! Oh yeah, you were here too. You know, I still don't know how you would run away from something like a shift in the space-time continuum.

Sore wa himitsu desu.

Cut that out, show a little consideration for the people out there who don't know about the Slayers anime.

Anyhoo, I, Jarlaxle, certainly survived it, and am here to submit another response for all your viewing enjoyment. You know, before I go on, I have something to say. I was thinking, when I'm lying in my bed at night, looking up at the stars, I often wonder, "where's my roof?" Just thought I'd share.

So I like the new site, the mailbag is good ol' an' dandy, and everything seems to be doing well. I ask you, Cidolfas, yes you, to tell someone to make a comprehensive Star Ocean: Second Story shrine here on RPGC. Not only does it recieve rave reviews from everyone who has played it, but I'm playing it now and *doh!* stupid me, I miss 3 characters early on b/c i don't wanna read too far into walkthroughs on Gamefaqs and ruin anything for myself. So that'd be a good idea.


Why the evil laugh?

Yeah! That's my turf!

And mine!

Oh, sorry... just slipped out... anyway, there is indeed a Star Ocean 2 Shrine in the works, and it's being done by none other than yours truly! Yes sir! And ooh is it gonna be great or what?


I never asked you.

Boy I sure am rambling, so I think I'll just put in an ad for one of my favorite games of all time. "Play FF7! The story and the characterization beats any that you could ever imagine." That's the annoying car salesman way of advertising it. Now here's the guy with the scary low voice who does ALL the movie previews on TV.

"A man trapped by his own conscience. When he needs to move on with his life and remedy all his problems, only his past can save him. But there's only one problem: He can't remember it. Enter the world of Cloud Strife, and follow his life, through the ascent into Soldier, and through his relation with Sephiroth, the envy of all Soldiers. See the lie, hear the lie, or...... disbelieve the lie. Which path is correct? Maybe what you see, always isn't what you get. Final Fantasy 7. In stores near you."

Hope I scared everyone. I thought that was pretty good myself. Bye Cid!

Heh, it takes more than that to scare the likes of us. Right Gilgamesh? ...Gilgamesh? ...okay, I guess I should've seen that one coming.

Heh heh heh... uh... where'd Ozzie go?

*cough*"He ran with Gilgamesh. Make you wonder how he float that fast.

Oh, man... he's gotta go back to those Spineless Wimps Anonymous meetings... Next is Lunari... er, Vault Dweller, I mean, of course.

Greetings there! The Holy Vault Dweller is back! What new? Good news! I've got ride completely of my Nuka Cola addiction!


......I've gone back to Mentats......

Hey Lun, why do you always let your drug-addicted alter-ego answer the mailbag anyway?

Drug addicted? HEY! I'll let you know what Mentats and Nuka Cola is not addictive!....much....What..I was talking about again?

I rest my case.

*cough*Anyway, off to the topic. Since you din't specified anything there, I'll just go on in some sensless talk befor the backdraw effects of Mentas kick in.

The Site's New Layout is great, and since Jim is gone(And will stay so.) , odds are that it will that way for a damned long time. I sure hope so. The Neo-RPGC Republic....Rings good, no? And the change to EzBoard(I don't post..but I sure hell do read) is odd..but normal. Some paranoids are saying that, soon, EzBoard will start to charge money for using the boards....But I don't belive them one word.

...........Okay, I don't remmber what I was talking about....Hmm.....Oh well, let talk about RPGs then?

Cid, what about a Mailbag about MMRPGS(Massivly Multiplayer RPGS) for a later mailbag? With UO2 Canceled(So I've heard), Everquest, FFXI and the Rumor of Fallout Online(YAY!!!!)...What are the thoughs of the viewers about all this?
I know Macc did a mailbag about that once..but what the hell, worth a try no?

Anyway, I better go off befor the REAL Mentat effects come in...



", what I'm saying? My freakin' number is 13! How could I /EVER/ forget that?.."

...Yep. Drug addicted. Our last reply comes from *groan* LiteYear...

*Lights go out*

*Lights come back on, revealing me in the center of the room*

Before I answer my thoughts about the mailbag, I must attend to a pressing matter first.

Megaman X didn't print my battle royal! I worked 5 hours on it, had 2,351 words, inserted lots of corny humor, and he ignored it! When I get my hands on him, I will... *Editors note: This section of the mailbag was removed due to the weakheartedness of little children everywhere. If one of those children had happened to see this, it would have turned him/her sucidal, and would make him/her go to the nearest politician, and slaughter him/her. We are sorry for the inconvenice this has produced.*

Well, looks like he managed to majorly piss off at least one person... he really has a knack for that, yes...

Ahem...*regains composure*

I want to say one thing to the clichés mailbag last week. I personally don't have a problem with monsters carring money or items. Monsters are, in general, evil and greedy, and so will horde any posessions they can find. Or they may eat it, and you recieve the money as you search the monster's dead carcass, or they could be possesions from another wanna-be hero, who met a gruesome death. The problem I have with a job system is that eventually, you'll run out of soures of income, and will have to wander helplessly with outdated equipment, until a big nasty dragon has them for lunch.

So this weeks topic is just general, huh? Hmmm...

I think it was a good move for the site to axe Jim. I know he is an egotistical, manical, evil bastard, but I've heard he's had some bad reviews as well. I also believe this site has the potential to become huge. I believe that, given 20 years, and groing staff, and a name change, that you can be the greatest game site on the Internet. Your shrines are much eaiser to follow than that GameFAQ's crap, you have no air of superoity, and you have lots of humor.

As an offically crazed fan of this little segment, I will say that you must never, ever, let this die. Furthermore, you must keep the honured tradition of great mailbag...ummmm... hosts, for lack of a better word, to keep the insanity high. As for the future of the mailbag, IT WILL BELONG TO ME! HAHAHAHA...*Editor's note: This sections was removed because of shameless ego boosting. Should this have been kept in, little children who would have read this would take up arms and would have killed all politicians in sight. We are sorry for the inconvience this has produced.*

Sure, the mailbag's all yours. Long hours, no pay, you get stuck with sucky RPG characters and the occasional loose cannon psycho as only company... in short, it's a dream job.

Well, I would think it would be kind of tough for YOU to give the mailbag away, seeing as it's technically MINE... but sure, sure, go muscle in on my turf, see if I care, don't mind poor old Cid's feelings...

Aww...Bad bad Macc! You've made little Cid sad! Very bad Macc!</sarcasmes>

Naw, I'm okay. It's only Macc. I never take anything he says seriously. Dream job, hah! You want the dream job, you can have it!

In your dreams!

Well, that's it from me this week, and Ozzie, takes thanks that I didn't have the time to press this big green button to see what it would do to you. Good-bye.

*Disappears in a flash of anti-light*

No, that's all right, I'll test it for you! *presses Big Green Button*

Thanks To Macc And Cohorts
For Super-Special Mailbag!

To think that button's been there all this time... whew.

Well it's been fun. The mailbag's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. But who knows, maybe I'll drop by again when you least expect it. Don't count on it though. Because then you will be expecting it, and thus I won't drop by.

I never expect things, it always ruins the fun. For example, I never expect to wake up in the morning, which makes every day a new adventure!

That explains a lot...

Myself, I expect to go to sleep in the morning. But anyway... I guess I should go round up those two morons. Dang, where did they ran to this time? I better go check Rast's Lair, they might be hiding out there again...

Good luck, heh. Well, that wraps up this week's edition! For lack of a really good humorous topic, I'll go with a more serious one, sent in by both Megaman984 and Amarinthinus. If you could make your own innovative magic system for an RPG, how would it work, what kind of spells would you have, and how would you keep it from making battles laughably easy? Of course you can send in funny entries as well. Zip over to and I'll be hearing from you!




Oh and, anoter thing : Don't eat Octo's, kiddies!