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RPG Classics Mailbag

Yo. First off, I may have lost a few mailbag replies sent in on or around Saturday due to e-mail problems, so sorry about that. *^_^* Let's make do with what we have, yes? Today on Jenny ... er, the RPGC Mailbag, we're talking about RPG pets and what to do with them. I am appalled but not surprised at the large number of "let's blow up the universe" pets sent in by people. I am surprised but very glad at the small number of super-cute RPG sidekicks sent in. Let's start off with d Galloway.

*walks in, closing the door behind him*
Greetings, I am d_Galloway, the man without a sprite.

Don't feel bad, none of us have sprites.

You do!

I don't count, I'm not real.

Hmmm... come to think of it, neither am I.

Or me!

Or me!

Then who's doing the mailbag?

Who indeed? *echoey evil laughter* Nope, just kidding, I'm real all right, much as you might not like it.

Anyway, if I could own any creature from an RPG for a pet, I would choose...nothing! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Anyway, the reason I would refuse to choose a creature for a pet is the unpredictability of the various monsters. Especially big ones like the Weapons and Atma.

*enter fantasy sequence*
Boy: Mommy, look what dad got me!
*boy shows mom Diamond Weapon (as big as the real thing!)*
Mommy: AHHHHHH!!!
*a horrific scene begins as the family's home is destroyed by the monster*
Mom: *cries*
Boy: *stares in shock*
*end fantasy sequence*

But that's not all! When creatures such as this appear, we will need a group of heroes to hunt them down and give back houses and possessions!

*Returns to fantasy sequence*
*a van pulls up by the wreaked house. Mr. T walks out*
Family: ITS MR. T!!!
Mr. T: Alright, whos the Diamond foo' thats been causing all the trouble aroun' here! (sorry, I don't speak good Mr. T)
*family points to Diamond Weapon*
Diamond Weapon: ROAR!!!
Mr. T: Prepare to get ya metallic ass thrown into outer space, sucka!
*I think we can all guess what happens next. For those who can't, Mr. T throws Diamond into Mars, then has the Mailbag characters rebuild the destroyed house*
*end fantasy sequence*

Well, that's it! I already took too much time. Bye!!!

Why won't anyone take me as a pet? I'm so wuvable!

Oh, barf.

O_o. Here's SilverKnight now, with a message for us all.

Hi, it's SilverKnight again. If I could have a creature...what would it A dragon! And I'd use it to toast all those nasty little punk kids that are always running around my house! YEAH! BURN YOU LITTLE BASTARDS, BURN!

Thats the spirit!

Uh...>ahem<...I have issues... :) Um...>hands cid some exclamation points< Yeah, that's better.

Oh, and by the way, Cid, I'm a girl. >grins<

W00t! That brings our male/female ratio to about... er, 40 to 1 or so! Wowee!

We don't get 40 people mailing us in. Actually, we'd need 120 to get that ratio.

But if we did, we'd have a 40:1 ratio! W00t!

You have issues.

Sure do! Over 60 of 'em!

Issues of what?

Most certainly not the same thing YOU subscribe to. Get away from me. Here's Sir Fenrir.

no intro for this week, cuz it's to annoying. it's Sir Fenrir again, and if u make fun of canadians again, i shall throw u through a plot hole your so fond of.

I'm a Canadian, I'm allowed to make fun of meself.

Cant argure on that, eh.

Oh and tell ozzie that i don't hate him, i just enjoy seeing him hurt, like this!! *splits into 5 forms, then rosario impales with each form, then haze-to-wheel as well* That was fun. now as to the actual topic, i wouldn't want Shiva from most ff games as a pet, thogh it would be nice to have as a companion(nothing inappropriate of course) and she would be very useful for annoying people. when they get to much to bear, in comes Shiva, and now there is an ice sculpture where the person was. the same scenario could be used for jerks! or ozzie!

Cid, here are a few more symbols for whatever ungodly purpose u use them for :-)

Plus signs... plus signs... nope, can't think of any use for those. Maybe we could color them red and... nah. Can you believe that all I got for Christmas was lousy punctuation marks?

Tough. All I got was a matter/antimatter generator. It didn't even have a phase shift mechanism!

All I friggin' got was anoter weapon! A ULTIMATUS PERFECTUS PLASTIC PIZZA LAUCHER! I dont need anymore weapons! I NEED A NEW SLEGE HAMMER! >_<

Well, tough! I got jack crap!


Yep, right there in my stocking. I had to throw it out, pee-yew.

Yuck. O_o That one wasn't me; I don't have the stomach for it.

Not you? Then who--- *ominous music*

Heehee! Not yummy! *runs away*


A-Anyway, next up is Drago's Nightmare. Or, as he says, "Drago's Nightmare!!!"

Hey Cid!
An rpg creature I want for a pet is.... Ultimate Weapon from Final Fantasy 7... Yes I know it might sound weird at first but that would be so kickass. I mean he is cool looking and has the Ultima Weapon for ME to use. Also he can fly and he is so friggin cool. I would have chosen Ruby or Emerald but having the Ultima Weapon (the sword) is just way too persuasive. I got a question, y didnt you guyz post those two replies other than the last one?

Well, either because we ran out of room or because I hate your guts. Pick the one you like best.

That's not a fair choice.

Well, it'll test his self-esteem, anyway. Next we have AshuraBlade.

AshuraBlade: Okay, I'm back...To answer the question "who is Arsenal", He is the final boss form final fantasy legend 3. (Notice:I am calling myself A.B. now)
A.B.: Let me see... for a pet, I would pick Daos from Lufia:The Legend returns . He has a lot of strong moves, and if anyone tried to mess with me I would have Daos change his mind.
A.B.: Oh, and before I go, Lunaris, why the heck is Evil Cid eating your mentats?!

I never went anywhere near them! Don't you try insinuating things! I distinctly saw you insinuating things!

Mm, lemme check....Nope! They all there!

You see? Vindicated! *Phew. Good thing he didn't know about them mushrooms.*

What mushrooms?

Hey! I was whispering to myself! You can't hear that!

No, stuff inside *s are shouting, not whispering.

D'oh! Then how do I whisper?

You *can't*! HAH!

Grumble...stupid dictator-style mailbag person and his stupid fourth-wall rules...

Well, much to my extreme regret, here's something by Xelopheris. Yes, the person banned from the RPGC boards, with good reason. Sigh...

Hey Cid, Xelopheris here
You better put my sprite up, and if you dont then change Cloak to Sword and ill give you a one two, and maybe...
*steals all but one of Cids '!', and is sure that Cid will use his last ! in an anger statement*

... Anyway, no one gets sprites here besides me. And Macc. And Rast. And probably any other staffers who write in, although none of 'em ever bother.

Oh, mailbag, sure why not. Lets see, umm.... hmmm... well... Can you come back to me later
Ok, now I know my answer. If I were to take home any sort of creature from an RPG as a pet, it would have to be Ifrit. Just take him back to Northern Ontario with me, melt all the snow. Then in summer, trade him in for Leviathan and Shiva to make LOTS of snow. People will beg me to switch everything back to normal, and I will be payed MILLIONS MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA, MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA
*chokes without any warning*
For an ACTUAL pet, it would be a moogle, tamed, small, and they never seem to eat

Before I go, heres your !s back, with a 10% holding charge
*takes out the DragonFang and slices end of Lunaris' biggest gun off*
*Lunaris fires back at Xelo, but since the gun is broken, the shot heads off towards Ozzie*
*The shot falls just short of Ozzie, and creates a large hole*
*Xelopheris Pushes Ozzie down the hole, and apologizes to Lunaris, plus gives him the 10% of ! so he doesnt get killed like Ozzie*
That was fun, goodbye

They really don't learn, do they?

I'm not even going to start making a semi-convincing argument about why you're never affected by these stupid e-mails. It's just not worth it.

Aw... you do care for me!

Why, you... *hits three buttons at once* *Ozzie is smashed flat by a 10,000-ton weight, blasted by a 10,000-watt laser, and dropped down a 10,000-foot plot hole* Phew, look at all those zeroes. Here's a nice short one by BryantCrew, who's a newbie, and since we don't have that many, here's some !s. !!!!!!!!!! and a !

If I could have a creature from an RPG as a pet, it would definitly be a moogle. If I had a moogle, I would tell him or her to send my mail to people, clean my room, wash the dishes, and do the laundry!

Kupo, two Moogles in a row! W00t! Here's one by Booken, long time no see, man!

Let's make this quick....
If I want a pet from a RPG... it would be Flammie!!
1 : Flying
2 : Cute
3 : Fly pretty quick, when you can go around the world in 2 minutes. :P
4 : Easy to summon.

Well, See ya!
*Play Flammie Drum and Fly away.

Hmmm, yeah! A pet flying dragon thingy! Rockin'! Here's one by Helen, who went through the trouble of writing in on Christmas Day, apparently. You go, girl! Ugh, I can't belive I just said that. *smacks self*

After dealing with Christmas chaos and wading through ghastly amounts of spam in this account, I suddenly remembered that the mailbag topic had changed. So, a hello and a Merry Christmas/whatever you celebrate.

I celebrate the uniqueness of humanity and its amazing ability to be completely inane in a mailbag with no consequences whatsoever! ...Okay, it's a really stupid celebration. Problem?

Now, let's see... what sort of RPG critter would I want for a pet? After thinking about it, I decided that I would want a Ogre Battle Platimum Dragon! You may either laugh at me for my choice, or taunt me for not being evil enough to raise a Zombie Dragon. But I'll explain.

Let's see, with a Platimum Dragon, I never have to worry about having idiots bug me ever again because I can always order Platty (as I shall now call it) to cast an IceCloud spell or two on them. And whenever I want to get out of this house, my parents won't give me any arguments if Platty decides to come with me as well. And, should Platty decide to come to school with me, I can finally get my revenge on that evil Deputy Teacher of mine! *laughs evilly* Err... wait... and all in all, I always did have sympathy for Ice-magic using critters. (Except for those overly useless IceGiants. Actually, I hate all Giants in general. That's another use for Platty, beating up useless giants!)

Okay, I'm sure that that made little sense. But lay off, it's Christmas. So, um, bye! *runs off to deal with Christmas presents*

If you get any +s, let me know so's I can give mine back to whoever gave those to you. I'm inundated with punctuation. O_o Here's our perpetual newbie Cless!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Takes out a notepad*
Three down, 1334 to go...

Anyway, I'd have to go with the classic Chocobo. Ride around faster than anybody else. Doesn't create pollution like cars. No feeding required. Comes when you call it. Spraypaint it a different color and it can fly, go over mountains, rivers, etc. Tugs on Yu's hair. Tells you when the train is leaving. Find water. The list goes on.

Ahem. You mean Ai's hair. Yu is the boy. Oh, wait, I get to use it! Oh, it's been so long! *wipes a tear from his eye*

There. So kind of you. Here's our InsaneGirlExtraordinaireWithACherryOnTopAndNoSpacesForNoReasonWhatsoever!

::appirates into mailbaggie:: 'lo Mr.Ciddy, Mr. Eviel Ciddy, Ms (Mrs?) Lucca, Mr.Loco Luna, an Mr. Ozzie-mun(or Ms,Mrs? after playing CT and seeing Fleas lilttle, uh-hem, "unusuality",it makes me wonder if all the Mystic's are bi's.....)) Well since i dont have my wandy anymore,i shall have to result to something else to belittle you with ETERNAL TORTURE! ::pulls out a dead fish......:: anyone diagree,and i'll slap ya upside da head wid this! ^_^ Well,the lil pet id like from a rpg, this is very hard question you is asking me! well, there's a many things that are good! Honey from BoFIII was lil weird,yet useful, RedXIII was AWESOME from Final Fantasy VII, but imagine the litter box,iye.....but the abosolute BEST OF ALL THE lil animaliy chars you could have is......::drumroll::......Pooka! from WA2. i mean, come on! hes sssooooooo cute! plus, if a school bullys pickin on you,WHAM! Pooka becomes some major-ass creature that kicks the snooty outta 'em! plus,if your getten ragged by some brainies at school,juts have Pooka talk to them about his "non-selfness", and you'll have them forever stumped ^_^ this is Miss Insanity, over-an outie! ::dissaiperates::

That should be a new category at the Miss America pageant, methinks. Miss Congeniality, meet Miss Insanity. You, Celes, and BSSB can vy for the honor. Just let me know when it's on so I can change the channel and watch something else. Next up is another newbie!!!!!!!! Everyone say hi to JFGemini, who's apparently a friend of d Galloway. At least he knows how to use capital letters.

If I had an RPG creature for a pet, it would be Bahamut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If any evil crosses my path, I'd just summon Bahamut to fry their asses!! Here's an example, I'll use Bahamut to kill Ozzie. like this! BAHAMUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Bahamut Fries Ozzie's ass*


Well, I made an exception. 8p You use way too many !s, my friend. I mean, just look at this reply, by someone named "Erik Hedqvist".

*lots of incredibly unnecesarry flashy effects near the middle of the room*

*silently appears behind Cid*

*Taps Cid's Shoulder* Hi...

Before you start giving me a lot of newbie !s I just want to say "Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind." Now lets go to the mailbag... Which creature I would keep as a pet... Hmmm... There are so many to choose from but I think I would get a baby dragon... Not for eating all the people that annoy me... Ok, maybe just a few of them, but mostly just because they're just soooooo incredibly cool... And they're my favourite enemies... If you get beaten by a slime it is really annoying, but if you get eaten by a big dragon you go like: "Well, it was a dragon... They are really mean." And maybe just as a pet... They are really cute when they're still small, you know... And they can light cigarettes... (Captain Vimes)... Well... That's it...

That's... not fair! You're using my own Pratchett quotes against me! You fiend! Anyway, they were all in the spirit of parody, so's we don't get sued. I wasn't using !s, I was parodying !s, so that immortal quote applies not to me, but to those people like JFGemini! *Phew*

You don't have to shout. I'm right here.

But I wasn't... aw crud. Forget it. Next up is Doc Shinryuu.

*A cluster of energy arrows shoots through the celing, pierce the floor, and dissipate. Doc Shinryuu crashes through the celing afterward, cloaked in flame.* Hey everyone! I'm back! *DBZ Theme starts playing* WRONG MUSIC AGAIN, SOUND MAN!!! I guess I'll start off my response this time with a random lashing-out at someone. *Waits a minute, then hits Lunaris over the head with a LoM Hammer.* Thank you; a moment of pain brought to you by Doc Shinryuu.

Anyway, on to the response. Well well, you picked an interesting topic this time, Ciddy. I'm stuck between two monsters to have as pets: an FFT Red Chocobo(heh, Choco Meteor on any jerk that gets in my way) and Gyoro/Ururun from SO2(W00t! Dragon Breath!).

In conclusion, thanks for listening, here's some extra &'s(&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&), and as a message to Merlin: RESPOND ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! G'bye for now! *Rockets through the new celing-hole using a lancer jump yelling the following* FFX RUUUUUUUUUUUUUULES!!!

Well, thank you for that news flash. And okay, I stand corrected; it IS possible to have more !s in a sentence than actual letters. O_o Here's one by MegamanX2K. Apparently he's busy with Christmas stuff, since he hasn't subjected us to one of his enormous rants in some time. *crosses fingers*

Hey! I told you you don't have to-

I get the *point*. QUIT IT.


Hmm...Tough choice. I have to admit Pikachu is cute, but what's the point of having a familiar if it can't even use a normal "attack" command. When it comes down to who'd be the most useful, I'd say a GoldSlime. They're kinda cute, they've got the stats of a metalSlime but tons of HP, and they know BigBang. Second place would be one of the spirits from arcana, because they're directly controllable, they grow as you do, plus they kick ass. However, then you're stuck with a single element. Not good.

Oh, and just for the heck of it: *throws a shirt on Lunaris that reads, "Runs with Sabres", only Lun should understand and yes, he should be mad* Teeheehee...*runs away amidst gunfire*

Ah, inside jokes. Er, how nice. Here's a newbie!!!!!!!! And his name is... er, Zero Omega X. My, how original.

Hi, and merry X-mas to everyone in Rpgclassics, and my favorite section besides macc's HQ... Yes it's the mailbag i'm talking about, I have to do this quite fast so I'll suppress all the stupid jokes I'd like to do (and you should be thankfull for it, trust me). Anyway, I know its not a creature its a character, but I really think that the best is the G-dragon from Bof2, now if you need a true creature, put Flamie of Secret of mana, he's kind of useless but looks cool, or Bahamut. Sorry if i sound ignorant, but I only played a few SNES games, so I AM IGNORANT. Well, thats all, thanks for your attention, Lunaris can put every joke he[probably] did about me right in his ***, and see prosper new year to everyone.

Well, I had no intentions of it..but eh...

Zero Omega X

Pd: Can you, oh master,( yes I'm talking to you Cid) give me one of your codiciated "You massed up!" stickers? Thanks. @_@.

Pd2: Yes, I'm insane.

Let's see... first of all, what's a Pd? O_o Second of all, what's a "You massed up?" I can't give a You Messed Up sign if you mess up the You Messed Up title... that's just... redundant. As for being insane, PROVE IT! Hah! On second thought, don't bother. Our last entry is by Rayman201, so you'd better enjoy it!

First of all, I have one question, what the hell is Ozzie anyway?

Why does everyone have all this existential uncertainty about me? I'm ME! I'm not you, I'm not him, I'm not the other guy, I'm me, and why can't you just ACCEPT THAT?

Well... okay, I'll go along with this one. Stop asking this damn question, people! Ahem. Back to our last letter, yes?

Anyway, I would have the sea dragon from Legend of Dragoon as a pet. Anything that's big and badass and can cause a huge tidal wave that's thousands of feet high and comes from all sides deserves to be owned by everyone who's 6 years of age or older. That or the Divine Dragon, he's the strongest dragon because the game says so, according to legend, you need the Dragoon Staff or something to beat it and there's only one and Dart ends up getting it so no one else is a match against it. Not the Green Tusked Dragon though, he sucks. Anybody and everybody needs to own a Divine Dragon.

*Rayman201 then turns himself into a dragoon and summons the Red Eyed Dragon and it breathes fire and hurts Ozzie*

How mature. *rolls eyes* *glares around* No comments from the peanut gallery. Well, that's it for this week of mailbagginess! Next week we have yet another topic, surprise surprise, which is the following: If two RPG characters of your choice would meet, what would happen? Isn't it grand? Er, okay, it's actually more bland, and a blatant ripoff of an earlier mailbag topic. Too bad! Go and send in replies to Cidolfas and have a great new year!





Very VERY GRAND! It GRADN! POWERFULL! GOOD! EXCELENT!...What the hell I'm talking about? Why, a old Doom-like named STRIFE! A 3d RPG FPS! CAN YA BELIVE IT?!