RPG Classics Mailbag

Well, I'm back! Thanks to MM984 for hosting last week's mailbag at the very last minute, and I'm sure everybody's all very happy to have me back!

Yay.

Shush, you. Our topic this week involves what the best possible team of RPG heroes might be, choosing three from any game! Well, we have a bunch of answers (and I think some people cheated off of other people!) but none of them particularly explained themselves very well... ah well, that's what you get when I choose a topic while I'm sick. Too bad. We get the ball rolling with d Galloway.

If three characters were to be a team, I would choose Magus, Klarth and Rosa. Why, you may ask? Well, the first reason would be I love magic, and with this team, you have all the bases covered (except for blue magic, but I hate blue magic anyway). Anyway, Magus would provide all the dark magic neccessarry, Klarth's summons can simply reck hell, and Rosa can heal everyone else in the team. Unfortunately, they would severely lack in physical attack and defence, even Magus (anyone who checks his stats will learn that he IS weak), so if the magic is useless, so are they. Oh well, they still kick ass.

Yeah, can you imagine them going into one of them cliched dungeons where you can't use magic, and then getting their butts kicked unless they're all at level 99? Sure, that'll work. -_- Next up is Igno, who is a newbie!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y'know, I'm sure that someone, somewhere is getting their ego completely punctured when I do that. 8p

Hey. I'm Igno, first time contribution. Anyhow. . .the best team in an RPG would be. . .

Ah! Lemme think....Magus, Cloud, Crono?

Cloud, Crono, Magus.

DAMNIT!

Why do I say that? Well, let's take a look at this-
Cloud: Big sword. Good magic. Cool hair. Must I say more?
Crono: Okay, this can be a bit tricky. His magic is halfway decent, as well as powerful. Cyclone on its own packs a whollop, and Luminare is just plain overkill. And he's seen the future. And the future sucks.
Magus: The most powerful spells in Chrono Trigger, not to mention he can use all the elements. When I personally fought with him against Lavos, he was the sole survivor of many a magic attack, but grand stone was just a deathwish.
Now, throw all these together and against oh, say, Sephiroth. I can see a triple tech involving Ultima, Luminare, and Dark Matter. And good night.
That's my 2/100 of a buck. Uhh. . .bye.

Bye! Have fun! Don't forget to write! 'Cause if you do, you won't be in the next mailbag!

Thank you, Cidolfas, king of the obvious.

Did someone call ME?

No. Go away.

I object!

I find you obscenely offensive, and obviously on opium. I order you to oust yourself, before I take the opportunity to ominously oppress you.

*bursts into tears* *falls into a plot hole*

Bravo! Encore! *claps* *falls into a plot hole*

Sheesh. MM984, clean out your cronies next time!

Sorry.

Hey, they were rather entretaining...

Ah well, musn't complain. Next up is Helen, who I have begun to expect will always say something that no one else does, if only because she's played some quite obscure RPGs.

I'm sure I played more than her!

Helen here again. After having to change email addresses because of all these idiots spamming me, and completely missing the last topic (I blame this on "Live A Live"), I'm ready enough to answer the new topic.

Okay, so which three RPG characters would make the best team, in my opinion? Since I'm assuming that you mean which characters out of all RPGs in existence would make the best team, my thoughts on what three characters would make the best team are as follows...

* Elen Carson, of "Romancing SaGa 3" fame. As any SaGa fanatic would probably know, she is an EXCELLENT fighter, and is okay with magic. And, unlike with MOST fighter-type ladies, she is actually likeable.

Meh, looks like you never saw what she says to Maximus...I will not say it here because the place is PG Rated, y'know? But it involes ripping something off...And can we say Poor Sara?

* Leon D.S. Geeste of "Star Ocean : The Second Story" fame. Umm... I have a soft spot for arrogant yet powerful magic-using brats...
* Cube of "Live A Live" fame. Sure, Cube got VERY little in the way of lines in the game. I don't care, it's (arguably) the most useful character in the game. 'Sides, Cube's a ROBOT. And robots rock.

Cube rocks, not only he rocks, but he round. But calling him Round would have been boring, so Kato called it Cube. But what if we named Ozzie 'Fatty'?

Oh, boo. How original. Go... play something obscure.

I know, the team may not be all that nice to each other. I can just see Leon going around calling Cube a "piece of crap"... But I don't care. I don't care if people walk up to me and say "Your preferred team sucks!". I like it this way, and if you don't like it... ummm... I'll leave that to your imagination since my train of thought just went bye-bye.

LOOK OUT! RUNAWAY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!

Do you have to yell?

No, not really, since it won't hit anyone here. *hears a very loud SMASH*

Oh, really?

You are in a pain class all your own, Ozzie. It's a talent.

I feel special.

On to, er, Pokefreak_85, who is actually not a newbie, but who signed his e-mails three different ways so far. O_o

First of all you should have Kevin (SD3) because he kicks butt... Then you should have Rena (SO2) because she automaticalyy heals everybody to almost full HP as soon as they get low on HP... And after that you should have Ryu (BoF3) because his dragon forms (and especially warrior) kicks even more butt... And that would kill any group of enemies you could find, even those immune to normal attacks since Rena can use some really effective attack spell like Star Flare...

Yes, but what if the Werewolf King and Gabrielle Celesta and the Goddess all join forces, eh? Would they still kick butt? Hmmm?

Who the hell knows? It'll never happen!

You have no imagination. Next up is "MARCUS DUCHOW", whose reply isn't long enough to justify any exclamation marks.

What about points of dessesperation?

Chrono, Cloud, and Magus.

What an eloquent response. And I knew it! You've been cheating off of Igno, haven't you! Shame!

Uweeheehee! He'll never know!

Don't tell me you've been switching responses with Marcus somebody.

No! I AM Marcus Somebody!

Um... no you're not. You've got a different IP address.

All right... but there's something else you should know!

And what's that?

I am your father's brother's uncle's dog's second cousin once removed's owner's former roommate!

...

...

...

So what does that make us?

Absolutely nothing! BWAHAHAHAHAH!

Hello. I represent Mel Brooks Enterprises, and you are in deep doodoo.

AUGH! *runs away very fast*

Hello, Lawyer For Mel Brooks Enterprises?

Yes?

I represent Lucasarts Film Company, and you are in even deeper doodoo!

AUGH! *runs away very fast*

Will you all just LEAVE?

You'll be hearing from my attorney about this! AUGH! *falls down plot hole*

I thought he was an attorney?

And one thing I learned about Lawyers is they alway come back to sucks your blood out...

No, that's vampires... then again, the difference is just cosmetic, isn't it? Ours is not to question why. Anyhoo, here's DJ Klempa's response.

Ultros, Ozzie, and Gilgamesh. These three would be funny working together. I can see it all:
*somewhere on their "quest" they stop for a little while*
Ozzie: *notices Ultros and Gilgamesh looking at something* What're you looking at?
Ultros: *quickly hides his playboy mag* Uh... nothing!
Gilgamesh: Uh oh! He caught us! *runs* Wait a sec, Why am I running? This guy's no threat! *returns*
Ozzie: *sees the mag* Gimme that! *grabs it* OOH! ^____^ *quickly opens the centerfold* Oz...Oz..Ozzie's enticed!
Ultros: Hey! That's mine! *tries to grab it, but Ozzie holds the purple octopus at an arm's length away*
Gilgamesh: *hits a switch near Ozzie*
*hole opens under Ozzie, and he plummets down, leaving the mag breifly suspended in the air. Ultros grabs it*

and their "quest" would be about defeating some villain in hopes of being taken seriously!
~DarkAni~

I find that unconscionable! What bias! That's racism, that is!

Against what race?

The race of cowards! As in who can run away fastest!

O_o. *clears throat* Next up is KindarSpirit, who is a newbie!!!!!!!!!!

HELLO n00b!

Look I'm on time this time! ^_^
---
Easily Magus from Chrono Trigger, Paula from EarthBound and Teddy from EarthBound Zero!
Well

Well what?

Just "well". Generally "well".

Well, I'm well too, thank you. Here's James C. Meyer, and I'm getting tired of !s.

I think the best three characters would be Cloud Strife, Squall Leonhart, and Terra Branford. Cloud has master of the Materia system so he's the strongest and most diverse of the three, Squall junctions all of his Magic to his stats so he's powerful, along with making ctritical blows whenever he wants and a maxed out accuracy rating, and Terra can use many types of equipment, an excellent Mage, and can Morph making herself stronger.

Oh, sure, wimp out by using the main characters of FF6, 7, and 8. Sheesh. No imagination, you people! Here's one by AshuraBlade.

AshuraBlade:HEY! Why the heck wasn't I in the mailbag last time!?

Because we all hate you! Hate your very guts, your very right to live! Or maybe we just forgot. Up to you.

Whatever...Anyway, I seem to have transformed...I AM NOW THE RED DRAGOON!!!HAHAHAHAHA,HAHAHA *hack,cough*...

DWAGON SOUP! YUUUUUUUM!

sorry. 3 RPG characters, huh? I would have to say Grey from Valkrye Profile, Levant from Jade Cocoon, and Cloud from Final Fantasy 7, because of his freakin' big swords!!

BOOOO!

Cecil:HEY, I've got big swords, too...
R.Dragoon:I know, and I would've put you in too, Cecil, if I could have 4 members...hey, why don't you go take your anger out on Ozzie while I try an experiment...
Cecil:Yeah!
R.Dragoon:Now for the experiment...JUMP!*Jumps up, and throws Gungnir Spear at Lunaris' pile of weapons, and destroys them*
COOL! Whatcha gonna do about that, Lunaris!?

*twitches violently for a seconde, but stop...and speaks in a fiendishly calm voice*Oh, simple, my dear friend..I'm only going to sever your arm off, waiting you empthy a bit of your blood, grab the spear, stab you in the head a few time, gazing at the brain remains on it and...Just go home, grab a pack of mentats and blast you from afar with everything I got! Simple!

Ooh, gory. This one is by Doc Shinryuu.

*The door to the Mailbag is kicked open, blowing snow all about the room. Someone in full snow gear walks in and closes the door. Upon removing the gear, it's revealed to be Doc Shinryuu!* Darn weather... Oh! *speaks toward a mirror* Look! It's Doc Shinryuu! *Unnecessarily loud fanare* Finally, a sound person who gets it right... *Precis F. Neumann waves from the audio booth* AnyW00T, RESPONSE TIME!!! *another fanfare*

*soars the A-Team music*

...Dont mind him.

Oooooo... best dynamic trioooooo... this should be easy. Three words(in unintended alphabetical order): Ashton, Gyoro, Ururun(SO2). Greatest SO2 Link Combo: Ashton's Swords Dance + Dragon Breath(I call it Dragon Dance ^_^). Best SO2 Voices: Ashton's. Highest SO2 Attack Power: Ashton. Need I say more?

That's kind of cheating, since they're all technically on one body. O_o

Gotta go, all. Before I go, I'll tell you now. I'VE GOT THE WILD ARMS 2 SHRINE!!! Merlin let me know on Sunday, December 30th. And now it's time for... *Great Saiyaman pose* THE FLASHY EXIT!!! *yet another fanfare**Doc teleports to a float above Lunaris* Your RPG Hero Hair Gel won't save you now! *fires a beam of pure dark energy down onto Lunaris, launching Doc high into the air in the process. When the beam disappears, all that remains of Lunaris is a blue Spirit Flame. Snow blows through the celing hole as Lun says "Well THIS is bad."*

*blinks at the fancy FMV*Cool.

You know, I hate breaking down the fourth wall and all, but I also hate when people take liberties with my sidekicks. You cannot kill them, you cannot turn them into goo or cute widdle animals, and you cannot change their mailbag role in any way whatsoever. Only I can do that, got it? Er, or Lunaris if he's in the mood, which he NEVER IS. Sheesh. Here's PS2Princess, see, she never does anything like that!

I thought she was the one that tried to turn everyone into widdle animals.

Yes, but... she's gotten better. I think.

::walks in through a door((i broke my wand,remember?)) and trips and falls on her face:: ^(*&^% door,afetr using my wand i forgot how ta walk::gets up:: o well then, 'lo cid-mun and all you other guys....em...::looks at Lucca:: and girls (( is Lucca the only girl? i mean besides Celes cuz Celes is insane,and when yur insane you cant have a gender cuz if your insane they who the hell knows what you thinking or what youve done so Celes could really be a GUY!.........ok,nough with my lil rant there))

Yeah, Lucca the only girl...To much of my dismay. Then again, having more girl would disturb the poor Evil Cid...How? Dont ask.

dont you feel alone Lucca? or do you feel lucky cuz your sorronded by guys? ::looks around.........:: yea,i think they deserve to be blown up too. N E WHO. if i paired three chars from three diffrent RPGs togther with as minimal as bloodshed as possible((but then where's the fun?)), id haveta put Kid ((from CC)), Yuffie ((from Final Fantasy VII))! and Rikku (from Final Fantasy X)) togther to make a kewl team. i could steal all the items i wanted! id say to myself "hey! do i want a potion?" swip Kid steals a potion , or" do i want a new dagger from this really big monster with bad breath?shwing Yuffie steals a Dagger, or,if we must get to the level of extreme strangeness, lets say i want Captian Obvious's underpants!............hey,you cant just go flying round without underpants on people,come on. Rikku would be like swossh and syteal his underpants ::uses what little magic she has left from her wand to ignite Obvious's undergraments:: there,now he'll never bother us again ^_^ see yall ::walks out the door,stumbling and leaving big mud footprints on the mailbag floor::

Er, no, I'm not lonely. I don't spend ALL my days here. I have a life, you know.

Really?

Yes! And no, I'm not telling you anything about it!

Dang. Here's another tiny, misspelled response by Rayven788.

I think the three characters that would make the best team are sephiroth,kefka and siefer.

l0l0l0l0!!!!!!!111111 g00d r3plty d00d!

Yay. And here's GrooveAttack, whose signature was actually longer than his e-mail.

First of all I would pick Randy from Seiken Densetsu. He is so very pesky and his hair makes him stand out. Second would have to be Cloud from Final FantasySeven, he is just the material for a leader. And last, but certainly not least, would be Marle from Chrono Trigger; every team of anything needs a little whiny brat.

I don't agree with that one in the least. I don't have a whiny brat on the mailbag team.

*runs past* NOOO! I don't wanna go to jaiiiilll!!

*runs past* NOOO! I don't wanna go back to spending time with Selphie!!

*runs past* Come back, you... evil people! I have an affidavit and I'm not afraid to use it!

*watch them go, and ponder using Ozzie to make them trip.*

...like I was saying... er... here's Igatona, with an actual real mailbag response!

Hello Cid, this is Igatona again, I'm sure you missed me, but I'm going to predict your answer will be "No". I'm going to try not to use characters from games you do not know about. Yes, I'm going to make that effort.

Now, the best RPG team in a 3 party members format needs three elements. A hero that can do both magical, physical and has an ultimate attack. A magician that can heal a lot. Finally, a black magician that can do extreme damage. Of course, they all need to be good together for "techability", a word that's probably already been invented to describe compatibility between the characters to do CT-like techniques.

As my first choice, the hero that's good both magically and physically, I'm going to surprise everyone that knows me and choose Squall. For this single reason : Renzokuken. It is a very strong attack, with a high speed rate and among the best ever. Plus, you can give him any magic you want and any GF. Makes him a powerhouse right there.

Filling the healer's shoes will be Rosa from FF4. She's among the best healers and can dish out elemental damage provided she has enough arrows of that element, it's still a useful skill if she needs to attack.

And last but not least, Keele from Tales of Eternia/Tales of Destiny 2. Simply put, his magic is among the strongest I know, and he can easily cast spells that can combo with Squall's skills and he has a minimum of healing spells if you set him right.

Anyways, to resume, my best team would be Squall, Rosa and Keele. There you can go out and beat mostly any boss. But then again, if you're capable of running 3 battle systems at the same time in the same game then you're good.

Until next time everyone!

True. Never thought about that. O_o Here's one more e-mail from... IvIaskedAvenger. O_o Where do they come up with these?!

Kefka from FF3 (6j) Kuja from FF9 and Sepheroith from FF7..... although their would some serious sparks flying since Kuja stole both their looks and combined them..... that.. and the factt hat Kefka would be trying to kill them at every opportunity

How droll. Right. Our second-last reply is from Rayman201.

The best RPG team, hmm. The main character from Robotrek because he relies on his brains rather than brawn (I don't know his name because he doesn't really have one, you get to name him). Then there's Kongol from Legend of Dragoon, he's the complete opposite. He's as strong as an ox and as dumb as one too. Then there's Ness, he'd pretty much be the middle man in the group because he pretty much excels in all his stats except Speed (the Ness in Earthbound Zero excels in all his stats period).

The only one I've played from there is Earthbound, which I didn't like and so stopped playing. *ducks* We again finish off with MegamanX2K this week! Maybe if he'd write in earlier we wouldn't have to finish him off every week. 8p

OK, for a perfect team...

1. Mog (FF6) - Mog's a geomancer, hell he's even better than a geomancer because he can occasinally dance the wrong dance. That and he has incredible stats, and best of all, he can equip spears.

2. Alucard (SotN) - He's so versatile, he can use an enemy's blood for health, and he can turn into a bat, a wolf or mist. Oh, and apparently he charms the ladies too.

3. Rydia (FF4) - She's a summonser AND she has Black Magic. 'nuff said.

Well, there you have it, two great fighters, three great magicians, two great evaders, one ton of whoopass. Any questions?

Yes. How do you weigh whoopass? I mean, it's not like you can actually put it on a scale or something.

Quit nitpicking.

That I shall. And in fact, I shall go further and give you next week's topic! We haven't had a serious one in a while, so here's one sent in by Amaranthinus, in all its cracked glory:

We've looked at heroes. We've looked at villians. We've looked at men, and women (*prepubescent titter*). So: What about animals?

Or, to open the topic a little more widely, non-human characters in rpgs? What do you think about them? Are they a waste of time? It is arguable that they are merely eye-candy - something which makes the characters, spells and animations a little more varied.

Do they make play more enjoyable? Or do they ruin it? Are they rpg equivalents of hobbits, or Jar Jar Binks?

DO NOT PRONOUNCE THAT NAME OR I'LL KILL OZZIE...again.

In games you have played, were non-human characters necessary or could their role have been played by anyone?
Do you hate the use of talking or intelligent animals, but welcome other races of man (eg elves)? Why? And what about aliens?

OH MY GOD! SECTOIDS! NO! X-COM! COME HELP US!

And do you particularly despise certain non-human characters from rpgs? What was their crime? How would you like to punish them?
We have (at last count) four female writers to the mailbag? How many... *non-humans* are out there? (about some of you I have my suspicions, so own up)

Send all ideas to cidolfas@rpgclassics.com, and all Jar Jar Binks's to the butcher's. Quickly.

You heard the man!

Later!

*put on a Bob and George met hat on his head and start spinning on it*