RPG Classics Mailbag

Yullo to all those folks out there! Hi Mom! *waves like a maniac*

She's not reading this.

But if she WAS, she'd be able to see me looking like a total fool. So nyah. Anyway, this week's topic is one in which I made people THINK. The experiment was not a total success. Oh well, we can always go back to senseless violence and stuff.

No! No! Let's stick to thinking!

Hmmmm...

Really! It's good for the mind! Pumps up the cerebral muscles, sort of thing!

Hmmmmmmmm........

Er?

NAH. *drops 10-ton weight on Ozzie* *drops another one for the heck of it* *drops the whole kit and caboodle down a plot hole* Ahhh... it's nice to have some familiarity in the unfamiliar grounds of intellectualism. To get things rolling, here's a newbie!!!!!!!!! Although he doesn't quite deserve all these !s, because he sent his reply in a Microsoft Word attachment, which as you ALL should know by now is a no-no. He'll know better next time. >-)

Good evening. RPG Knight here.

Anyway, the question was...

Find an ultimate goal for an RPG that DOES NOT involve saving the world! How would you make it more interesting?

Well, I have a couple ideas for this. This type of RPG has been done before. But anyway, you'd have to make something up randomly. A cool idea would be top make an entire RPG out of side quests. This sounds completely stupid, but who knows? And the way to make any RPG more interesting is to make half the game out of side quests. I hope that you appreciate my idea. No really. Okay, bye. Yeah.

Ahh, the blue skies, the rolling sea... WHO'S Spoiling such a nice day!
-Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

Lord Jeffrey rules! Opposition to the cult will be destroyed!

Er... they tried doing that with FFX. It did NOT work. Next up is MegamanX2K, ooh, I'm shaking in my booties about this one...

Why?

Because my chair wobbles, see?

...I dunno why I bother.

Frankly, the natural progression will go fron saving the world...to conquering it. That's right. Good Old conquering. Just like we used to do, before we got all peace-loving flowerdubbery. I know that you can KINDA takeover the world in a few Strategy RPGs, but usually that's just a second to saving it, so they don't count. I wanna take oer the world for taking over the world's sake. A Good old Strategy RPG, maybe along the lines of Age of Empires. Yeah, an AoE/AoK SRPG would rock. You knew I was gonna say that of course. That reminds me, *nags Cid about getting AoK for PS2*

WILL YOU QUIT WITH THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Whoa, easy on the punctuation.

SHUT UP!!!!!!! *drops Evil Cid down a plot hole*

Indistinct Voice: It's getting crowded down here!

And you can shut up too, Ozzie. Sheesh. Everybody's getting on my case today.

Err, anyway, another cool conquering SRPG that would rock would be a Dune SRPG. Pick any one of the three houses, get your harvest on and kick some Ornithopter booty.

And let's not forget Civilization. It's already a TBS, so just take it to the next logical step.

Er... too many acronyms in there, I think you lost me. Here's a short, sharp, and to-the-point reply by RalphTheRobopon.

Before I say anything, first lemme do this.*grabs a razor and shaves off Lunaris's hair, then drops a bigger-than-you-are finger on him*

*blink as the razor break apart as it connect with his hair and the finger opened apart.*...When you dumbasses will learn?

So an RPG goal that isnt saving the world? Ok then, how about Destroying The World? Thats the exact opposite so it works. I think. Maybe. *runs off before anyone can see him*

Sigh... I wonder how many other doofuses went for this? Destroying the world is just saving the world from the other side! It's not any more interesting! Hmmm, here's one by Xelopheris.

Hey, Cid, how's FFX?

Well, actually -

Yuhuh, yeah, listen shutup for a second </SimpsonsQuote>

The best thing I can think of is personal revenge. Antagonist kills the protags parents, yada yada yada, the protagonist ends up covered in blood on top of the antagonists brother. Now that is a story.

...
And now I must leave you with this. *Tosses Cid an exclamation mark* !

Four more and I've paid off my national debt. Yay! ...Make that five more. 'Strue, I guess... in fact, many RPGs have this... except that they usually end up having the antagonist take over the world while he's at it, too. All you'd need to do is get rid of one or two scenes from most RPGs and you'd be at Xelo's idea. 8p Hey, here's Dan! Remember Dan?

Dan! Sure! Good ol' Dan!

Y'mean Sir Dan from Medievil?

You don't have to suck up to him.

Better than sucking up to you.

Point taken.

I'm baaaaaack!
:::plays crazy welcome music:::
Did you guys miss me? What, you forgot who I am already? It's Dan, man!
Where have I been, well that's long story but let me tell you something, getting ejected by panic button takes a long recovery (and a change in e-mail address).
Enough digressing!
:::mild applause from mailbag readers everywhere:::
Let's move to the topic at hand!
Saving the world is a bit too old now. I mean, it's only been in every RPG ever created. So how's about we make an RPG where one must save their MIND!!!
:::gasps:::
Yes, saving one's mind!!! The plot would involve the person having to battle with an evil being who is trying to infest his mind, make himself the supreme ruler of the world!
:::dun dun dun:::
While our heroes attempt to quel his evil efforts, by shrinking in size to go into the poor fellow's ear (the one who's being invaded). Along the way they'll encounter many an enemy who will attempt to end their quest. Upon reaching the final battle the party will be of godlike strength and will be able to kill the evil one, who is revealed to be Osama bin Laden (we could only hope). His plot will be finished and life will go on. THE END
:::crickets are heard:::
Ok, I know that sucked, but you know. I can only be so creative. Hey what's this button dooooooooooooooooooooooo....
:::pressed the "Launch Into Orbit" button:::

Er... yay crickets! We have yet another newbie now!!!!!!!!!!! This guy seems to want to take over I Abibde's Most Smart Mailbag Person Thingy position, especially since he hasn't written in in several months. Time shall tell.

Hello, Cidolfas and crew. My name is DomaDragoon, and I am here to speak my mind about the current state of RPG goals.

When creating an RPG, it is essential that there be a final goal, an accomplishment that must be achieved. This can be as simple as destroying a single demonic creature in one town (like in Diablo), or trampling around the entire world to... um, destroy many demonic-type creatures (Shining Force). One thing that most RPGs have in common is that the final goal usually results in your having to save the world.

And when you think about it, is that such a bad thing? The most notable RPG that doesn't cling to that cliché is Harvest Moon, a game that I found dull beyond description.

In life itself, the predominant instinct is self-preservation as a whole. Noble heroes go out not to save their own hides, but the hides of those who cannot protect themselves. Obviously, the greater the risk of destruction, the greater the motivation for said heroes to strike out on their quests.

Not all of us want to be that noble, however. It would be nice to have some smaller scale RPGs, ones that concern just as much loss for the main characters, but not as much in the grand scheme of things.

What I'm trying to say, is this:
-I want a game where villages are (relatively) as large as they would be in real life, as would be huge cities. I don't want to be able to walk across any patch of civilization in less than one minute.
-I want a game where no one outside your geographical area would really care if the villain of the game won, because it would never impact on their lives. As much as your life would be ruined, very few other people would share your fate.
-I want a game where people join up because they're your friends. There's no ancient prophecy fortelling you as the next Hero of (insert planet/kingdom/adjective pertaining to good here). It's just you and a "few" of your "closest" friends . (Of course, you can't have too few. If I went from my rules here, FF4 would have been just Cecil, Kain, and Rosa.)

In short, I want a game like Shadowrun, but with a different plot. That game takes place within a single large city (and a volcano), and has a very personal goal (find out who you are, why someone tried to kill you, and what the heck is in your head). You hire your party of runners, so you can tailor your party to fit your style (within reason - I find that there isn't much difference between one runner and another of the same type.)

My ideal game would be one with a similar style. The Evil Corporation/Renegade Knight/Gang of Hoodlems has a goal. Unfortunately for you, that goal is the destruction of your village. Since you're only a small hamlet of about 400 people, it doesn't look like any hero is going to pick up on the "help us" vibes you've been sending out. There's only one solution: take up the fight yourself!

Of course, I've intentionally left most of the details blank (fighting engine/plot/setting), as this could be very subject to change depending on who produces it. Still, it would be gratifying to have at leat one game where you can beat up on evil without helping anyone besides yourself (and 399 others).

True dat, true dat. Kinda like Xelo's idea, no? Small-scale save the world. 8p Here's somebody else, I'll let him do all the introductions himself. Save me some time, why don'cha.

::A beautiful black stallion rides in with Dante Demonus on it:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ! A HORSE! KILL IT, KILL IT NOW!!!!!!! ...Kidding.
Hi ciddy, lun, Lucca, green guy. Dante Demonus here. I'm not really an n00b OR a newbie. I used to be someone else, ::coughGaborncough:: but no one liked him very much... hell, neither did i. Enough reminiscing, more mayhem. ::shoots random...stuff at the walls causing holes to form::. On to the reply. An RPG with a storyline to not save the world is Harvest Moon. It is to get a farm working. I would make it more interesting by adding extra gameplay features like getting married
Announcer dude: They already have that you boob!
Dante Demonus (DD): Oh... right... forgot...
Announcer: Dur.. friggin idiot.
DD: pulls out Ebony & Ivory (Dante's handgun's in Devil May Cry) and shoots him.
Back to the reply, once more. I would add some things like random "battles" with other guys for the girls that you try and get to marry you. Each one would have their own guy after them and they would fight over the girl with you. You would also be able to raise special abilities that would help you "win their heart". Well, I have homework so I had better do that.

::Rides out on the horse he came in on::

Sounds like a souped-up Tokimeki Memorial to me.

Isn't that a dating simulation?

Er...

Like for the kind that people who would never be able to get a girl ever ever in their lifetime or any other lifetime?

No! It's not like that!

Never talk to me again.

Awwww CRUD! *crosses off a name in his black notebook* *realizes it's the ONLY name in his black notebook* *goes off to sulk*

Well, here's DarkCrimson, let's get this over with... sigh...

So here i am replying to another mailbag and you can't stop me and i did use a period in my last response look after the MR.T remark so send ozzie to check or something and i found out that desremate is'nt even a word.

My problem wasn't that you NEVER used a period... it was that it took so long to get there. A problem which you don't seem to have fixed, o'course. And no, "desremate" isn't a word, which is why it was so funny last week. Philistine. 8p

Anyway onto the response.
How about an rpg where you are out to blow the world or conquer it one of the two and to do this you could make some sort of death star ripoff but to avoid lawsuit it could be shaped liked an egg and have a cheesy mustache and to power it up you could use emeralds that have limitless energy and the power of chaos.........wait a second thats already done and that seires is'nt even an rpg damn i've binn playin to much Sonic the hedgehog well i still think they do something not that good to the world.

Thats it why are you still reading this stop it reading i say wait i know if i stop typing you'll stop reading THE END.

Oh, you sure got us figured out, you did. *slaps forehead* Here's an extremely wacky reply from Dragon Slayer. Wake me up when it's done. *snoozes*

Dragon Slayer: AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PEER IS CHASING MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peer:...This should be good.(Zaps DS, Turning him into a tiny<but super-strong>Red Slime)
Red Slime:................WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME YOU &*%$# ?!?!
Peer:Tsk,Tsk, I have never heard such language.
RedSlime:Whatever. Arsenal, kick his sorry butt.
Arsenal:ZEBBOT SICK. EAT SOUP,FEEL BETTER.
RedSlime:????? oookay... for a goal that is not saving the world, how about playing as arsenal and trying to save me from peer?
Arsenal:SOUP COLD. WARM SOUP.
Redslime: in a minute!
Peer: are you going to fight me or what?
Redslime:fine...
*:A peer draws near! Command?
Redslime attacks! Peer 9999999999999999damage!
*:thou hast done well in defeating the peer.
EX:5
GOLD:9999999999999
Redslime has gained 75 levels.

*pokes Cid*

AUGH! Is it over?

Thankfully.

Phew. OK, I just realized that I have way too many people writing in this week... I'm gonna weed a few out, if you don't mind. Or I'll be here all night. And I'll get carpal tunnel syndrome and won't be able to do a mailbag for another 1337 weeks, which no one will ever like. With that in mind... *throws out all other replies indicating "take over the world"* Hmmm... OK, here's Helen. Take it away!

*staggers in like a zombie* Urgh. Mailbag.... late.... you.... will.... AAAAAAA! *falls down an open plothole* Ow. Maybe next time I'll watch where I'm going instead of acting like a zombie. *jumps out* School is evil, it rots your brain and tries to conform you to be the "perfect citizen". Or some crap like that.

*A few minutes of Helen randomly blathering later....*

*snores*

....and that's why Penguins are the servants of the great Demon King. *pause* Oh! I was supposed to do a mailbag entry! So much for the rest of my material.... *throws a book marked "Things that make no sense but are still fun to say" behind her* Now, finally on topic....

So, what other exicting plots could be used other than the cliche "Oh no! The Big Foozle will destroy the world! We must stop it!"? Well.... um.... geez. This IS hard. So, I'll use my last ditch answer which I'm sure lots of other people will say - A Mailbag RPG. I shouldn't have to go in depth on this. I hate using last ditch answers! *runs away*

Yeah, me too. Especially since I can't think of anything for us to DO.

We could... er, save the world!

We could conquer the world!

We could blow the world real goods!

We could eat cheese pizzas!

... I vote for number 4. Ozzie, go get some.

Yippee! *runs towards the door* *falls down an open plot hole*

Seems to be more and more of those around, no? This one's by DarkAni:

I was worried somone put you in a coma or something when you didn't post responses for two weeks!

They did that too, but that's besides the point.

Anyways, on to the question: Finding an ultimate goal other than saving the world is gonna be hard, cause nothing feels quite as good as saving the world. Except maybe saving the cheese! The cheese is important! Without it, we have no pizza! No mozzerella sticks! No mac and cheese! Suppose an evil villian decided to make the populace suffer by stealing all the world's cheese, and the animals it comes from! Then we'd be condemned to have nothing but soy bean simulations! It really would feel good to know you managed to save the world's supply of cheese. Earth just wouldn't be the same without pizza....

*Omega-Weapon(from FF8) smashes through a nearby wall*

Omega-weapon : When you are in need of a not so omnipoten omnipotent boss, call him!

Me: AAAAA! For the last time, I DIDN'T STEAL YOUR PIZZA! *points to Ozzie* He did it! I saw him messily devour it! See? Look at those sauce stains on his dress-thing!
Omega-Weapon: *faces Ozzie and goes into fighting stance* PrEpArE tO sUfFeR!!!!

...Jeez, talk about parallel creativity! I swear I hadn't read this before I wrote what I wrote before. 8p Just goes to show ya. Anyway, Archone is up next.

Perhaps the best way to make the goals for RPGs more interesting... would be to make them more in keeping with real life goals. How many people do you know of who are actually trying to "save the world?"

Perhaps the hero's goal is to win the girl. Perhaps the heroine is trying to rescue her family. Perhaps the hero is trying to redeem his family's honor from the shame his father brought down on them. Perhaps the girl is trying to get a cute boy to notice her. And perhaps we should stick to heroes saving the world-as a side effect of achieving their main objective. "Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?" "Tonight, Pinky, we shall SAVE the world... so it is available to take over at a later date."

A Pinky and the Brain RPG! That'd rock! *dissolves into laughter* OK, I'm better now. Here's our second Megaman, number 984! That's 974 more than MegamanX, but 1026 less than MegamanX2K, so... er, nothing.

A non saving the world kind of RPG, Cid? Man, that's, like, an oxymoron, I think... And Ozzie, don't you dare make the "You're an oxymoron!" joke. I got a Pit ready with your name on it right here...

Er... I didn't say anything...

Shut up already! Talk, talk, talk, all day... gives me a headache!

But I...

SHADDUPT ALREADYS!

I'm gonna...

Can't a guy get some peace and quiet in here?

Okay, this has gone far enough. It wasn't funny to begin with. Sheesh.

Anyway, Harvest Moon has a plot where you don't save the world. You just save your farm, sort of... Hmm... That's LIKE saving your world, I guess...

Shenmue has a plot where you go around trying to find the man who killed your father, but it would've been better if it involved magic and saving the world. Wait a minute... Scratch that last part.

As for an original non-save the world RPG, there's always playing as a bad guy trying to conquer and/or destroy the world, but that's a different topic.

Well, let's see... We got saving the farm, finding your father's killer, and conquering/destroying the world... Not much to choose from, eh? I guess the reason most RPGs have the save the world plot is because the writers wanted an epic tale, and you can't get much more epic than saving the world unless you were on a journey back home to Ithaka after being at war for 10 years... Or saving the universe.

That's it! Heroes should stop caring about saving their damn worlds and start saving the universe! Brilliant! A totally original idea! ... Or not. Meh, I don't care.

Truth be told, me neither. 8p Here's BSSB, which I *had* to print, or I'd be throwing out a work of manic genius.

Booooomashala! It's moi!,BSSB! And I'm here to the reclaim the throne of Crazy Mailbag Ladyperson! Feel the burning sting of doomsday footwear! Spork Slice!!! YAA!

...I saw more impressive blue slimes.

Now if I were to make a RPG,it would be "Lovely and Pretty Pony Quest Bobabo!". You would play the role of Queen Shiny McSwoon,and try to take over the Gumdrop Kingdom from the goody-two-shoes King Salamander O'Gravy.And you would have your henchmen,like Dubie Hyinke,Darkness Knight of Sugarplum Castle,and Purple Nurple,master Ninja of Fareast Republictown Dunzioblah.And you could stuff like Taco Bell Nachoship,and Feirce Chickenman.And once you beat up King Salamander O'Gravy,the game would explode,thus,turning your T.V. in a Discotech! WHOOOAHAHAH!!!

Now I run for the Inner Land of Space,to buy a new car smell,Au reviour!

See what I mean? For a rather more sedate reply, here's Robin.

If I was going to make an RPG that doesn't fighting world destruction, I'd make one about fighting people or society, for status or money. How about a game about making a living and starting a store? Maybe I'll take a page from Weiss Kreuz's book (another moronic anime about BOYS)---I'd enjoy playing a game about a sensitive, snuggly, all around nice guy forced to turn into a cranky assassin to save his family (or to make it back to them). Be a Dragon of Heaven (or was it Earth? does it really matter?) from X/1999 and have the whole point be to destroy the world, to purify it. Maybe someone pursuing the gods of salvation or whatever so they can lift a curse on themselves, not the planet. Solving murder cases, in real life, for whatever reasons.

But really, you could fit all of these into a game about saving the world. Saving the world is all-encompassing and nearly everybody can relate to it, because, well, why wouldn't you want to preserve your own life? Or that of somebody else? Or to prove yourself by getting stronger? Or to beat your childhood rival? Or to get famous? Or to meet girls (or boys)? Once a hero decides he's going to save the planet, it's easy to identify with him. Saving the world is just a great excuse for a game. Even when the hero isn't holding back armageddeon, he's gonna be saving something (like, say, the elusive feminine presence of The Princess, in any of the Super Mario Brothers games). It's a nice, CLEAN reason to fight, and it's dramatic enough to keep you from laughing off the game (plus, if the world is ending, it gives a great excuse for random monsters of all kind roaming the world, because everything is going wrong).

Personally, I like end-of-the-world stories, and have liked them for a long time. And RPGs aren't the only games with the armageddeon disease. There are a lot of games in ALL genres that are about saving the world. There are PUZZLE GAMES out there that see the chance at an actual story, and snap it up by making the various rounds into "battles" (the hideously translated Star Sweep, for example. Heck, even Pokemon Puzzle League called rounds "battles.") Fighting games do it. Action games do it. Sometimes even romance sim games do it (Angelique, anyone?). If used correctly (and I'm not saying that always happens), it adds a nice edge, and (not to sound morbid or anything) but it's interesting to see how they're going to do it this time, and what it does to the world. I know that makes it sound even more cliched, but it just means that I accept and expect end-of-the-world stories. RPGs are, to me, defined by fighting monsters, and getting strong and buff, preferably with some cool people around to help you out and give you funny scenes. If you're doing all this just because you're trying to run some lame sword store or whatever, well, it just feels weak. Unless something even more universally unpleasant-sounding and eyecatching than global danger shows up, I could care less about games changing.

Sorry it's so long again...--* can I bribe you with some shrimp tempura? It's deep-fried and yummyyy... ^^ Oh, and by the way, you really couldn't tell whether I'm a boy or a girl? I mean, I kind of expected it, but it couldn't be that hard to figure out, right? --*

I dunno... Eden from the boards is a guy, but you'd NEVER know from the way he talks. I don't assume anything any more. O_o D galloway has a Rob Zombie take on the topic:

*d_Galloway walks in. His eyes are bloodshot, and a coffee cup is in hand*
Howdy, Cid. Sorry about this, but I rediscovered Silent Hill 2 recently, and couldn't stop playing it. Forgive me. Still, it gave me an idea that has been done once in an RPG (Sweet Home, to be exact), but should be done more:

Instead of saving the world, the heroes should be simply trying to survive (kinda like a Survival Horror game).

Here's my idea: the heroes are either Commando-style troopers (Resident Evil) or your average joe who gets trapped in a situation beyond comprehension (Silent Hill). Now, the hero would be trying to find a way out of there (RE) or trying to learn the truth about some problem (SH). Now, throw in varieties of monsters, several puzzles, and some weaponry, and you have a game.

Of course, in a survival horror context, the monsters will have to be either flesh-eating zombies (RE) or creatures born of guilt and despair that stems from the soul. And the puzzles will probably end up being mostly "find item and put it in the right place" (both series). And the weapons will either be a shitload of guns and a few close-range weapons (RE), or a few guns and a few close-range weapons (SH).

Well, I need to sleep. Good-night. *Goes to sleep*

I could tell. O_o So basically you're telling us to make a Resident Evil RPG. It could work, I guess. Personally I'd like an RPG kinda like Radical Dreamers. Yes, I know Chrono Cross was based on Radical Dreamers. The point of RD, though, was to infiltrate a mansion in which all kinds of weird things were happening. The story revealed itself bit by bit. Unfortunately, RD was a text adventure, not an RPG. In my opinion it'd make a great RPG, though, all by itself (just make the mansion bigger, or turn it into a city or something). Here's one from Benjamin Graham (at least that's what it says at the top of his e-mail).

An ultimate goal other than saving the world (which has been done to death) could be just to find a place that you belong. I have many ideas for games that would make them interesting, but noboby will tell me where to take them. One example is a quest for the king's royal bubblebath in a pretty vial that was stolen by a thief who thaught that the vial may contain a powerful magic potion worth a small fortune. This may not make an ultimate goal, but it would certainly make an interesting second chapter to a game about a funny little scorceress whom we will call Lucielle. I have several other chapters for Lucielle, including a major boss, and a partner to team up with her, but if I can't find somebody interested, this idea along with many others will just vanish, along with the hopes of many gamers that i have talked to about this idea, that would like to buy this game if a company made it. thanks for proposing the question and giving an old gamer his dream back

Hoo boy... I don't wanna get into this... sure, keep dreaming. You never know. But... um, just to be on the safe side, have a different hobby too. ^^; I went through the same thing, trust me... ah, it's not important. To get our minds off of this and onto something illegal, here's PS2Princess.

o wow,i haven't responded in the lonnnnngggeeesst time huh? :grumble stupidgovernmentclassgrumble:: isnt everyone glad to seee me?!?!?huh!?!?......well?aw,your all a bunch of morons anyway(cept for Lucca cuz she rocks in CT and shes like the ONLY sane person in the bag!......::looks at Lucca:.........nix that) well,lets see how can our happy-go-licky-frazzled-goody-two-shoes-guys gunna go about WITHOUT saving the world!?!?duh! the alternative! DESTROY IT!AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ::deep breath:: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it makes sense doesnt it!?!? i mean,lets take CT(just for the fact i was playing it ealier ,and now i cant get my eyeballs off the screen,look,there they are!) Lucca builds a huge machine using Spekkio's magic(cuz she kills him then takes it away,he he ^_^) and she makes the machien look like a big POYOZO DOLL!!Frog/Glenn has kewl sword attacks,so ! he could first wipe out the major people (ie, Microsoft,IBM,Burger King, and that company that makes those bobbing head dolls)Magus just has killer magic,nuff said,Marle is useless so they just kill her (i never liked her anyway,LUCCA RULES!!) Robo could tear people apart(this is starting to get violent huh ?^_^) Ayla would fry the "other big people",and Chrono,well ,there's no use for him,so he got stuck working at mc donalds ^_^ S.Y.A.L.N.A.R.P.D.A.W.Y!!!((see if you can figure THAT one out?! ^_^ AHAHAHAHAHA!!)) o Ciddie! heres soem extra ,uh...thingies for you! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^$$$$$$$$$$##########*****************&&&&&&&&&&&&%%%%%%%%%% BYE BYE

I have NO idea what to do with these. Ah well. Anyhoo. Here's DOAHunterX, on a different tack.

There are many ways to play on the clichéd "Hero saves world from ancient evil" routine. The first would be to have a villain vs. villain story, or a "Villian conquers world by killing other villain" routine. Or you can start off, making the player thinking he/she is a hero, until the person realizes that he/she is really the villain of the story later on.

Other stories may have different objectives, such as the hero trying to get some booze, the "hero" founding a utopian city and torching the rest of civilization to ashes, earning a bunch of money playing merchant (think Dragon Quest 4), or perhaps a strategy/RPG involving people from Enix, Square, Atlus, Working Designs, etc. all against each other to find out what game really IS the best?

This is DOAHunterX of the 9:24 PST news. Good night and happy RPGing.

(DOAHunterX gracefully exits the stage, blasts Ozzie with Madante, and gives Lun the ultimate weapon; the automatic toaster gun with butter secondary function.)

Woooooow! That what was missings in me collectyons!

Awww, so sweet. Um, here's a really strange one by Essedess.

THe perfect story line without saving the world. Save the Prince from the tower of doom to fufill your childhood dreams of being a princess.

No comment here. Our final (yes, final) reply comes from Donald Marco. I just couldn't not post it after he spent so much effort on it. ^^; Go!

*turns on an inter-dimensional camera*

"Oh, hello. I'm Donald Marco. AKA Donald 3. Yes, I know I haven't been around lately. But then, we all have to follow our interests every once in a while... and we all have to return, don't we?"

*cricket chirp*

"Well, the challenge was, 'Find an ultimate goal for an RPG that DOES NOT involve saving the world.' Well, that's difficult, but I think we have a few people who can say otherwise. Oh, look! Here is a red capped, blue vested young man with a Pikachu on his shoulder who is CONVIENENTLY walking our way. Let's see what he has to say about this. Hello, sir. Can you give us your name, for those of us who haven't a clue who you are. (i.e. Terrorist Groups and the Axis of Evil)"

"I'm Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town."

"And, what do you do, Mr. Ketchum?"

"I'm training to be a Pokemon Master. And you can just call me Ash."

"Now I understand there's a game about your quest."

"Huh?"

*to camera* "Oops... This seems to be the Anime version of Ash. Well, let's just see what he thinks..." *to Ash* "Well, if there WAS an RPG about your quest, what would you keep, add, and take out, and why?"

"RPGs? You mean like Earthbound?"

"That's right."

"An RPG? Of my quest to be a Pokemon Master?"

"Or anyone else."

"Well, talking with people and helping them out is always good. Though I would like to be able to find more Pokemon more often. And to be able to understand them better. One thing I DON'T like is Team Rocket trying to take Pikachu ALL THE TIME."

"Pika!"

"For another thing, I'd just like to say that Saving the World or encountering Forces beyond Nature is starting to get a little bland for me. If this keeps up, I might as well be in something like Earthbound. Hm... I wonder what sort of weapon I'd have..."

"O...kay... Thank you, Ash. Let's just go on to this portly purple sprite right here. Hello, Sir, what's your name?"

"Hello, I'm Taloon, and I run a general-purpose store in Endor."

"For the Dragon-Quest-impaired, he means the Castle Town with the Casino and Colusieum in DQ4. NOT the forest moon which has a lot of small furry creatures and might as well be a planet. Anyway, I know you eventually became one of the Hero's Seven Companions, but what did you want to do before that?"

"Just to run the most profitable weapons shop in the world. And establish a commercial empire."

"Would you try to run EVERYTHING?"

"Not really. No one man can run EVERYTHING, not even everything in a certain sector. I would like people to come from far and wide to buy my wares and sell me theirs, so that I can resell it at a modest profit, and become the BEST shop in the world, but I don't want to be the ONLY one in the world... that's bad commerce."

"Would you play against rival companies, and take into account political and military edicts?"

"Sure. But I would also like to both recruit negotiators and strike deals with raw materials sources and manufacturers like blacksmiths. And, of course, have a small merchant fleet of my own."

"Truely key elements. But then, that'd probably fall along the lines of a simulation. Well, thanks for stopping by, Taloon."

"Most kind of you, sir."

"Well, I'm running out of time here. But I just want to leave with one final thought. Of course saving/conquering the world is interesting, but so is getting married, which is a side-quest in the Harvest Moon series, running a business, which actually belongs in the Simulation Genre, or "Catching them All," which... hm... could THAT be the secret of Pokemon's success? An alternative outlet of power-collection that has noting to do with politics? Could be... but that's another topic altogether. Until the next mailbag, I'm Donald Marco. Oh, and since I recently got Civilization 3, I'd like to set a 20-mailbag deal where I give you guys exclamation marks in exchange for Capital Leters. (Of course, I can't guarantee that I'd respond to any of the next 20, but still...)"

...Nope, no clue on this end. Are capital letters important in Civilization 3? O_o Er. Well, that's all for now, here's next week's topic: After playing FFX for a while, it struck me that Al Bhed was the first real attempt at a foreign language within an RPG which actually worked. And FFX also made a stronger-than-usual effort to include different-colored people playing integral roles in the storyline. Here's my postulation: Why can't RPGs be more inclusive as far as race/species/language/culture goes? How would you write in more diversity into an RPG? Or would it just be better and simpler to leave everyone as a Caucasian speaking English (or Japanese)? Is the "furry" vein just a bad attempt at doing so without insulting anyone? Write in to cidolfas@rpgclassics.com, because anywhere else would get you a nasty reply, and goodbye!

Seeya!

Y'know...It amasing how much peoples can be blad sometimes...I mean, I was playing Jedi Knights and some wazoo rushed at me with his fists ! AND I HAD A LIGHTSABER ! CAN YOU FREAKING BELIVE THAT STUPIDITY OF IT!? Reminds me of..*the lights shut off and crash on Lun's hair...without even he notices...he continues rambling on...*