RPG Classics Mailbag

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Easy. You should NEVER ask a bunch of people what the best AND worst RPG's of all time are! Not only is that question stupid and overdone, but people have a tendency to fight fiercely for what they believe in. Thus, that question is simply a bloodbath waiting to happen.

Well, bloodbaths ARE pretty cool...I guess this was a good idea after all. Lunaris would be proud...

*enter fantasy sequence*
Ted: *walks up to d Galloway* QUEST FOR GLORY SUCKS! Galloway: *pulls a handgun and blows Ted's brains out, then proceeds to hack his body to tiny pieces* *exit fantasy sequence*
Well, hasta luego!

The moral of the story is: Don't diss Quest. I think. This next one is from Yaradovich Kramer. A pretty nice, short...uh...one. Yes. Let's have a lookie. :D

It would probably be, "What are the best ways to irritate an Idiotic Recurring Villain/Comic Relief Character?" And do I /really/ need to explain what would happen?

Yes. You do. After all, it WAS part of the requirements, Mr. Kramer. :P I mean. Let's pick another letter. This one's from Mabatsekker.

Maba: Hi Lunaris! Hi Kagon!

Kagon and Lunaris had to go to the store when we made this mailbag. And what about SG? Don't you know that SG DOESN'T stand for Sa Ga? Come on Kiddo! MEMEMEMEMEME

So ya finally got to do something else than just shoot at people or get changed into TG's boyfriend?

Psst...That's TG getting changed into Kagon's girlfriend. Tomato, Tomahto, hello???

Great! So, about your topic... (kinda weird, but nothin' that could've been waited from you guys) A good misunderstood topic would be something like this:
"Which non-hated non-RPG game you don't like to hate?"

You almost got me there. You'll get everyone else though.

Maba: Hmm, I must be getting rusty, as I couldn't think of a good example reply, but I think a "..." might be a good reply from someone who didn't understand the question. (Did I even understand it myself? Kat?)

Kat: Nope

Maba: Good. Then, I might put this one too: "What are your prejudices of the world?"

"..."

Maba: People might answer the question with some really off-topic things unless we made the question a little clearer, hmm? Like: "I think all afghanistaneses are terrorists", "World is flat". See? That's why we make things clearer! And to be quite frank, I probably misunderstood this topic! W000.. *Gets smacked by Kat*

Kat: Okay, he'll get something MUCH funnier up next time. Cya ^.^;

Maba: Lookit the starsh, dude...

...

Yep yep, time for another one of those mail...things. And Maba gets bonus points for sending two replies. :P This next one is from Rirse, our Twisted RPG Companion.

Well it been a long time since I last appear in the mailbag so it time to come back from the void and attack you of....never mind. Anyways, for the topic of worst idea for mailbag topics, I would have to think for a second*goes the thinking room, while for some reason Gosalyn comes by*

And here's where EVERYTHING becomes a big accident... *Ducks and covers*

Gosalyn : Keen Gear a mailbag...oh great this is just as fun as watching cement dry. I will just write up some idea for a bag here instead. Let see how about a giant slug is trying to make a salt factory come alive and you been drafted to stop him. So you would have to think up some way to beat him.

I would borrow Edward/Gilbert's Harp. Or I'll play one of my old, amateur compositions; those will kill ANYTHING.

Or how about a "What if you won a copy of Quest 64, Deadly Towers, and King Arthur and the Knights of Justice from a friend you had to think up a way to get back at him."

If I won them, I wouldn't be too angry. How would I get back at them? I'd say thanks. :P ...I think.

Or how about a topic on how...*gets throw into a time warp*

*Sigh* Another one of those arbitrary timewarps. I really need to call maintenance about that.

Great, messing with my mail reply, well I just send it anyways. It not like I would be in any trouble here.

Rirse gets bonus points for sending in two replies. :D Now for a letter from Helen. :D

Ye thought you were all rid of me when I didn't respond to the mailbag for three weeks, huh? Well, okay, I didn't REALLY not respond for three weeks.... I didn't know what to say for the first and third weeks, and in the second week, my mail was eaten. >< And to Lunaris, I DID suggest Kenji Ito as a favourite of mine in that topic, but my mail was eaten! Grrr....

Good thing too. Kenji r0x0rs.

*runs off, takes out her frustration of having her mail eaten by beating up Alicia of Live-A-Live, then returns*

Ah, I'm better now. And now that we have the honor of a bunch of SaGa Maniacs hosting the mailbag.... (what? It IS the official name for us! Don't believe me? Search for our community, mwaha.) I shall now give you a response that will make you all think.... *pulls out a card* "What is this girl ON!?". *pause* I don't think that's right, but oh well. That would be pretty good if it wasn't so vague, actually. *Ponders for hours*

Now, the proper response! At first, I was going to suggest "Which character would be dumb enough to wear only a lizard", but all of us Live-A-Live fans know the answer to that one. So, then I suddenly thought of "Is it good for characters to not wear much?".

YES. IT IS GREAT. THIS GOES WITHOUT SAYING. (This is a lie, but for humour's sake, I'm being perverse.)

I mean, imagine the chaos! Perverted fanboys defending the right of women to not wear much versus perverted fangirls defending the right of men to not wear much versus more conservative fanboys and fangirls who couldn't care less what the character wore! If anything else, the janitor would have a lot of drool to clean up!

*Drooling*

*pause* Why do I get the feeling that someone's response will be used as the next topic? *sweatdrop* Oh well. This was Helen, running away for no reason!

Well...I certainly liked that one. :P I mean... Next letter! This one is from Ferio. I mean Lavos. I mean Ferio. I mean...

?????:Lavos has been Captured. By who? Me, The Sinistral of Despair, Ferio!

Ferio: Since he can't make it, I can do this for him.

Who is the Best / Bad character in any Rpg. They would all think it means best or bad, but it means BEST AND BAD!

Mwahahahahahahahaha................(i know it's kinda weird, but this is not Lavos! He is my Enemy!

Lavos:SHUT UP, Ferio, I was going to do this...

Ferio: So?

Lavos: YOU are not the sinistral of despair, I am(in my next and final form)! You are the sinistral of annoyance!

Ferio:...........?

Lavos:*changes to Genoxices* Venom Powder!*blows ferio away*Ha, Jerk...

...I mean, Ferio! I mean, LAVOS! Uh, Hey, didn't Cid do that with specific RPGs for his last mailbag? I dunno, maybe someone will think the topic means best villain. That's not silly at all. This just doesn't cause disastrous enough accidents. :P Uh, this next one is from Rabid Tauntaun? Hm...Well, The title was "a pointless letter for the mailbag that doesn't actually address the topic" So It could be poisonous.

Yay!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hallo there, Luny my...despised accqaintance! Bwahahahaha! Luny Luny Luny. At least I haven't called you Luna yet, have I, Luna? : ) I hope you are there, Lunaris (oops, I used your proper name). However, all those mean RPGClassics people have been confusing me by switching who is hosting the mailbag, and so I am not sure you are here. If you aren't, then...go eat a fruitcake.

Man, if Lunaris was here, you wouldn't be very happy afterwards.

I don't really know what to say for a topic, but I wanted to write in to show my support for the mailbag, even though my letter is devoid of intelligent content. I haven't written in the past couple times because people like I Abibde or something keep writting fancy intelligent letters and depressing me. But I decided to go ahead and write in since not-so-dear old Luna was supposed to be here.

Well he ain't so nya ha.Thinking of a normal bag topic is hard enough; thinking of one that is meant to be confusing is even harder. Nonetheless, I shall still try.

Give it your best shot kiddo.

Hmm.

Yep yep.

(10 minutes later...)

There's more people in line ya know...

Hmm.

This isn't that hard man.

I have failed you, Darth Luny (though hopefully not for the last time!). I cannot seem to come up with a confusing mailbag topic. I offer my apologies. Okay. I shall desist from uselessly drivelling. Ta ta, Rabid Tauntaun, whose just wrote a pointless letter, and is proud of it! P.S. You are the weakest link, Luny. Good-bye!

You've messed up in more than one way, kiddo. SO...this one's for you!

...And uh, let's go to the next letter. This one's from Ryuujin.

Do you really want to know what I think the worst, ridiculous, most accident-prone mailbag topic you can possibly think of that people would respond to is? Well I have five words for you.... Count them.. There are really five.... "Oops who did it again?" *screams and schtuff emit from the far corners of the world* See what I mean?

...*Breaks down* OK OK OK!!! I Stole some lucky charms from my friend on thursday! I'm so Sorry! IT WAS ME! I DID IT! AGAIN! And I'll do it again if I ever have the chance! AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Woooo...o....oooo...I think I'm ok now. This next one comes from Darkani. That's easy!

"Which RPG character would you want to get laid with, and why?"

It'll bring a pervert count that not even Mailbag topic #70 (the infamous "What's the funniest moment you've ever had/seen in an RPG?") could match up to.

The thing was, that was only kind of a bad idea. In a way, that would be good cos we'd get a lot of responses. Other than that, it aint too ridiculous or accident prone. WOOO, I smited a perverse mailbag. How hypocritical of me, considering what I just did not too long ago...oh well. So uh. This next letter comes from MegamanX2K. (sorry this is late...)

Lol, I wouldn't worry too much. :P

Being the master of things that go completely wrong (if you've ever played a RTS against me you can see this firsthand) this topic is a pie of cake.

Pie of Cake, huh? Lunaris is rubbing off on even X, now!

First, there's the "What RPG Character is the hottest?" You can imagine the types of entries for that.

"rinoa cuz shes got big boobs and i want to [This part was ommited for some of our younger viewers.]" But I'll bet that's been said a lot.

Only twice before, surprisingly.

I'd also expect the topic "Which summon was the coolest?" to be a disaster, since everyone would say Bahamut.

"Bahamut"

"Bahamut"

"Bahamut"

"Bahamut"

"Bahamut"

"Bahamut"

"Bahamut"

"Bahamut"

"Bahamut"

And that'd just not very entertaining...

Bahamut. Err.

But the worst topic I could think of would be, "If you were to dress as an RPG character, what RPG character would you dress like?" Because, as far as the chat is concerned, a lot of people, male or female, would pick someone skimpy such as, say, Katt (BoF2)...and sorry, but TG in Katt's uniform scares me. Greivously. |-P

...And what were you thinking about this for? Tuh, I know what YOU'D write in for that Hottest RPG character mailbag. :P This next one is from Epicgamer.

Hmmm... A mailbag about possible mailbag topics, seems pretty, well, lazy to me but, meh.

Just for that, I'm gonna wait 3 weeks to put up this mailbag. *Three weeks pass* Ok, now where were we?

So you people want a terrible, accident prone topic huh? Well I'd hafta say... *KNOCK KNOCK SLAM CRASH* Err... What the hell? Woah, that's a lot of rabites! Hey wait! MMPH! AHHGETEMOFFGETEMOFF! "HOLY FLARE!"

NOOOOOO! THE EVIL RABITES WILL EAT MY ALIVE! WE'RE DOOMED! WE'RE DOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!! *Runs around, screaming in terror*

*A blast of pure aura is expanded from Epic's body, causing many of the rabites to explode* "Pant, Pant, wheeze" Oh for the love of! Where the %&#$ are they all coming from! "ULTIMA!" *More explosions* "GASP, PANT, WHEEZE" It hurts all over! GAH!! SCREW THIS! "SUMMON MONSTER, PHEONIX!" *Everything within a fifty mile radius is instintaly incernated by the firebird's inferno*

*Gets up from the far corner of the mailbag* It's...over...?

*looks around* Erm... well after that I'd hafta say becides the deathmatch, this topic is probably going to be the most idiotic accident-prone topic that anyone has ever created. Just look at what you made other people think up! Give it to you guys to think up a topic that will make other people think of ways to casue destruction in humorous ways!

Well anyways, I'm gonna pass out now, see ya! Erk...*faints*

This is true. I think? I do think. This last one comes from rayman201.

Is it just me or do you not update your mailbag until I respond to it?

This is the only mailbag I've ever done, so I don't know if I made it a habit. :P

I didn't want to answer this question but I guess I'm going to if I ever want to see a new mailbag topic again seeing as I have magical powers and mailbags seem to stop coming up with new questions unless I respond to them.

Oh yea???? You watch! I won't update this mailbag!!! Nosiree bob. Uh---uh. Nope. Not even...not even a little bit. You watch. ...Damnit.

The mailbag question that's the worst and most accident prone would be this. Which video game character would you have sex with if they were real? You'd figure that a large number of people would say "Lara Croft" or maybe not, I don't know.

You realize that has nothing to do with RPGs right?

My friend, let's call him Frank because he would kick my ass if I gave away his real name, says that he would have sex with Tifa from FF7. Let's not forget the characters from the Dead or Alive series. The computer rendering of the graphics of the female characters makes every part of their body move realistically, including their...never mind. Well, that's all I got to say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And as far as I can tell that is a good thing. :P WELL... This is definitely going to be the most ridiculous anf gross mailbag for a loooooong time. And with that, this mailbag comes to a close. Well, actually, Megaman984 has a thing or two to say about the state of the mailbag from now on.

Okay. DG, Kagon, and I are taking over hosting duties of the Mailbag. So, that means there are going to be some changes. What kind of changes you ask? Nothing big, except for the Mailbag will now be updated every TWO weeks rather than one week like it is now. This is just to help the group get the Mailbag done without pulling any all-nighters. Also, this means your time to reply will change. Instead of having a little less than a week to reply, you're going to get a week and a half. So, this Mailbag is going up on a Sunday, with the new replying time, you will have until the Wednesday of NEXT week to reply. Oh yeah, replies will now be sent to the RPGC Mailbag Team. Anyway, see you in two weeks.

Lastly, as Helen figured out earlier in this mailbag, the next topic is just going to be the best reply from all of these responses. MegamanX2K is our winner with best summon, due to lack of RPG-related topics that reached the finalists. So your next mailbag topic is "What is your favorite summon?" See ya all later.

And I guess you guys need me to do one of these things too.