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Well, SG is 17 now. We're happy that he no longer can boss us around, right Kaggy?

He isn't happy about it at all.

Correct =P


see what?

I guess Kagon just likes being dominated.

This I do believe 984.

Well, now that that's established, we may wanna move on. We have a big Mailbag tonight, folks, so thanks for sending in.

Yeah, you guys are my heroes!

I'm not your hero?

Obviously not.

Oh, he took your word. Haw.


Sorry pal. ANYWHO, we oughts to get this party started. Kagon! Fetch me the first letter!

Psst. SG. You're no longer in charge.

No. Get it yourself pal.

Psst, 984. Kagon enjoys being dominated. Remember?

Psst, SG. You're wrong.

Psst, Kagon. How dare you listen in on my psst messages!?

Oh, I dare. Oh-ho-ho!

I dare you to get the next letter :P

They're gonna be like this all night, folks, so I'll just get the first Reply. It's from... Kero Hazel! A Staffer. Heyas Kero.

Hi guys.
Unfortunately, my letter missed your last mailbag (grrrr...), but since it's a free-for-all topic, I figured why not? I'll just post my response here. For the readers who didn't read last week's mailbag, this is a response to the topic of "what RPG would you like to see remade while staying true to its roots?"
Custer's Revenge. Without a doubt the greatest game in the cowboys-raping-Indian-girls-tied-to-cactuses genre. Just imagine that game done with modern graphics... it would still have the same utter lack of gameplay (and the same sick twisted message), but it would finally have nekkid chicks that actually look like nekkid chicks instead of cardboard boxes. The characters would be "3D", or as I like to call it, "incredibly detailed bitmaps stretched over incredibly blocky polygons". On second thought, no... just... NO. That idea would be wrong on so many levels. And it's not even an RPG. Can I start over? *deep breath*

Custer's Revenge... Good idea. That definitely needs to be remade.

Yes Kero, start over while you still can.

But! Custer's Revenge!

What's a Custer?

Something in between Buster and Duster.

If you have to ask SG, you aren't old enough.

No one had to ask me anything though.


Now, the game (or rather, series) I'm thinking of wouldn't be staying true to its roots as far as gameplay goes, but as far as story and theme. The game I really want to remake is... a Zelda game. Not 3D, as that's already been done. Not back-to-basics dungeons & puzzles, as the two Oracles games did that, and quite well I might add. No, I'm talking about remaking Zelda into an RPG -- a true mainstream RPG, with HP and experience and party members, all that and a bag of chips.
Think Mario RPG. Now take Mario and the Mushroom Kingdom out, and replace it with Link and the world of Hyrule. It would start out being just another save-Zelda-beat-Ganon-get-the-Triforce quest, but then some new baddy would come and totally mess everything up. It would have to be goofy, filled with mini-games, and maybe even have Link and Ganon team up at some point.
So it's not a true remake. And it's not all that true to its roots. But Mario RPG was not only a great RPG (IMO), but also a great way to breathe new life into the Mario series while still retaining all of its old-school charms. I think a similar formula would work well with Zelda. Best of all, Indian rape not included. :P

A true Zelda RPG... Might be good, but no Indian Rape is bad.

No 984, no Indian Rape is good. Very good.

What's a good RPG without Indian rape?

Doesn't exist.


*facepalms* Idiots...

I bet Weiila's not an idiot, Kagon.

Not, she sure isn't. I was refering to YOU guys anyways.

Well, you need to make it up to Weiila anyway.

So get the next reply! HOOHOOHAHAHAHAHAHA.

SG, calm down and take your pound of Ritalin, boy.

Sure, I'd love to get the reply from Weiila.

I bet you love it just because it's Weiila. You sly dog you.

You DO realize that you'll have REALLY long replies this time, eh? Well, I'll try to be nice.
Since you said ANYTHING about RPGs I'll do my normal show and... talk about fanfics *ducks*
I know some say it's plagarism, and that those who write them are just too lazy to think of their own characters. But in fact, we're just regular writers like in "normal" terms. There are good and bad writers among us, by the same terms.
Myself, I did not start writing fanfiction because I couldn't make up my own characters, in fact "Weiila" is one of my "children". However, I had suffered writer's block for a very long time and my author-senses seemed dead. Fanfics saved me from that. They're a good alternative to regualr authorship and most importantly they can be published more freely on the web and be exposed for feedback.
We're trying to give the characters more depth, look at FF8 for example. There are thousands of fics about that one out there (the sad truth is of course that a lot is pure crap, given). Just like the fanartists we're giving our view of the games and characters. Archone's Crystal Conundrums is a great example of this; it's a novelization (the game told through the eyes of one of the characters) of Crystalis. That classic did nothing for (almost) any character, but in Archone's story the hero becomes a human with doubts, fears, anger and devotion.
So... that's that. I could go on, but I'm outta time. :)
Ta-ta. *hands the mailbag team a freshly made applepie and leaves*
Best wishes!

Well, no Replies were really overly long except for two, but we'll get to those. As for Fanfics, yeah. We need like Maz to say something.

Fan Fiction can be very nice. I don't particularly enjoy reading it, however they are by no means bad just because they're fanfiction. I'm just a terribly picky reader.

Yeah. SG doesn't read anything that doesn't have pretty pop up pictures next to it.

I've always enjoyed reading the fanfics and don't believe they're plagerism at all. I feel that they can greatly add depth into characters and tend to make me want to replay the games again like your fanfics on Chrono Trigger did.

I like books that talk about furry bunnies and living of da fat a da lan'.

Oh well. *Takes the apple pie and throws it in SG's face*

!!!!!!!!! *Is apple pie smacked* ARGGGGG IT'S GOOEY!

SG, get help...

I think I'll go to the bathroom. *Walks off to wash up*

Well, while SG's in the bathroom, we'll look at maskedgermanian's Reply. Kinda fitting since she loves SG and whatnot.

Hello, Everyone. This is maskedgermanian, communicating from beyond the Absolute. This topic has interested me, so I'm getting Ultros to send it to you. (whip crack is heard in background.) Aaaaaanyway...
There are a lot of things I could rant about, so I will. First off, "new-school" games. I don't know what classifies a game as "new-school", but I'm guessing if it's for a later console. Now, the thing is, new-school games... I just think that they are straying from the beaten RPG path. I mean, the best part of an RPG is character development, you know. Growing to care about the characters as you learn more about them. But in a case like, oh, I don't know, CHRONO CROSS, there are too many characters too really give a damn about.
Second of all: Graphics/gameplay. I don't know about the rest of you, but I wish that we could go back to the time when everything was 2-d, and we could only move in four directions.
Lastly, I don't understand why everyone hates Earthbound. I mean, the Heroine was captured by a cult (who must have been ON heroin, IMO) and was going to be sacrificed to a statue of pure evil. Now, I think that's interesting, so don't knock it.
I guess that's all. I hope you all got this message. This scroll will burst into hellfire in 72 years. Good day.

Well, if all RPGs stayed true to the beaten path, they would be pretty boring. Innovation is good.

Eh, Chrono Cross, though it only really had development for a few characters, was still a very good game. Also new school games, which we defined before, meant games on the PSX and later.

Although some games on the SNES are more new school than some new school games.

Eh, that is true. But I was giving more of a general definition.

Yeah. I know what you meant. As for 2D Graphics... That would be nice, but 3D Graphics can be good too as long as there is substance in the game rather than just "purdy piktures"

Earthbound was a beautiful game- the cultists were funny just like the whole game. It made a very nice parody.

*Comes back from the bathroom* Did I miss anything cool?

Just maskedgermanian.

Oh, so I see...That'

Wanna know how you can make it up?

What? You guys owe ME a favor for not telling me!

Get the next Reply.

Yeah, now we order you around, mwahhaahaha.

I will, but you guys still need to make IT up to ME GRRRR. Our next reply is from a newcomer, Ariana.

I just found your website not too long ago while looking for some Star Ocean 2 info. Great site! Anyway I wanted to answer the last question but got in too late. Since this is a free for all I thought I would answer anyway. I would remake Dragon Warrior 4 and Phantasy Star 3 for the Playstation 2. Dragon Warrior 4 was supposed to be remade and out this year but they cancelled it. Phantasy Star 3 just because of the different system with the marriages...I loved that game and went through every possible match and ending. On the subject of RPGs in general I think we need more! Especially for the PS2 if you are looking for them on Gamecube good luck. Nintendo doesnt really bother much with them anymore they havent since the SNES. Xbox dont really care either because whoever has Square has me...always has always will. Im one of those old ones who has been playing games since the Atari and Rpgs since NES.

Square only has me for the SaGa series, but I'd still buy all other games systems if I could. The new Panzer Dragoon RPG is gonna be released on XBox. :O

I may buy a GC for Skies of Arcadia Legend, and SoA2 will probably come out for it, which is good.

I bet Kagon will have a thing or two to say about Dragon Warrior 8 possibly being released on the Gamecube. :P

Square doesn't really own me except for SaGa. Enix, on the other hand, has me rather nicely. So does Interplay with the Baldur's Gate/Icewind Dale series. And yes, Dragon Warrior 8 being released on the Gamecube makes Kagon cry ;_;.

That's okay, Kagon. I'm betting Ralph's Reply will cheer you up.

*Sniff* Really?

Yes. Really.

SG, Play Earthbound, damnit! IT KICKS ASS! Plus its got psychedelic backgrounds and New Age Retro Hippies. Did I mention is kicks ass? Yes, Merl r teh dev0l. But DN r teh even more bad dev0l, cause he wont unban me from the chat(I DO NOTHING AND GET PERM BANNED!)

Amazing. We made the most general RPG topic ever and you couldn't even do it. :P

*Laughs* Hah! You were right. That did cheer me up.

You see folks, when we say rant on RPGdom, we don't mean stuff like that.

You know what this means, kids?


Damn straight.

Now, we need a GOOD Reply to remove that awful taste from my mouth.

*Looks around* Hmm... MegamanX2K's Reply is pretty good.

*Looks at it* You're right.

First off, to blatantly ignore each of the four rules set up for this mailbag...*ahem*
MERL IS NOT THE freaking DEVOL UR ALL PIECES OF pie YOU SICK freakers CAN KISS MY female dog in the behind.
thank you.


No, thank YOU :O O: :O O:

Nice way to break the rules, X. Very, uh, square sounding.

Secondly, I thought of another answer to last week's 'bag. SMRPG of course! All it needs is some diffculty tweaking (Make it harder! Harder! HARDER!) and lower on the money. And smoother geaphics. And a secret dungeon would be cool, too I guess.
But onto the main bag...*ahem*
For some reason I'm deciding to rant on MMORPGs. Why? I have no idea. But you know what I'd like to see more of in MMORPGs? Waging war. WAR, WAR, WAR. Multiple factions killing the shit out of each other. It gives you a real reason to kill other PCs.
Ragnarok Online is probably the best well-known non-Everquest MMORPG. But I dislike it, greatly. Granted, the music is cute and so are the characters (except the ones that are porny, they're simply, ah, n/m). But the gameplay is crap, pure and simple. You need to level to like Lv. 10 to do things like form parties and use emoticons! WTF? And that's only accentuated by the fact that leveling is DWish as hell (monsters are too hard and give out far too little exp.) Odds are when it comes to america these problems will be fixed (the lag problem'll probably be fixed, dunno about gameplay). But it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. And it has another problem: Little freedom. A lot of it still feels like it's being forced, which is bad in a MMORPG. You HAVE to go outside and kill lots of monsters (though they kill you instead) in order to even see the plot. That kinda thing is BAD. Freedom is needed in MMOGs, to allow the player maximum enjoyment and possibilities.
Check out Eve: The second Genesis (I dunno where the link is, you'll have to check Gamespot). Now THAT game sounds cool. Apparently its premise is Dune-ish. You have a central empire that technically rules everything, and several "factions" that aren't really at war but dislike each other. You earn brownie points (or lose them) depending on how you treat them; kill a guy from another faction, lose respect with them. Lose too mcuh respect, get your ass bountified. And you can serve multiple roles: Trader, Soldier, Assassin, Adventurer.
Speaking of Dune and MMOGs, Dune Generations, the MMORTS being done by some French corporation instead of Westwood and was set to follow the books instead of the games, has possibly been cancelled, since the company fell. Let us mourn.
Another MMORPG, Shadowbane, allows you to hook up with multiple guilds. You can hook up with whichever guild suits your skills the most, and base your operations from their guild stronghold. Now, this stronghold is, well, Strong. You can successfully defend it well and whenever another guild does damage to it, an inner tree of life repairs it! Awfully AoKish (but I'll get to that in a second). Good thing too, because if your stronghold falls, you're screwed and guildless (and in Shadowbane, that's BAD) unless you can scrounge up the collective cash to buy another one somewhere else.
But that's not quite good enough. We need WAR. Raw, Cold WAR. Picture this: In a pristine elven land filled with magika, an ancient empire that has prospered for several thousand years has collapsed. Vile civil war has quite literally ripped it apart, and now the centre of the kingdom lies in waste while the vying factions, no longer sure why they're fighting, nonetheless battle endlessly for more territory. As a character, you initially choose to be a member of one of these nations and serve them. You can still do your own thing sometimes, get exp. and stuff freelancing, but mostly you will train for exp. and take orders from higher-ranking players. You will undertake multiple missions in the name of your country, to gain territory and resources for your liege. Unlike most MMORPGs this shit will actually MEAN something, since if you win a battle, you can not only gain major Exp, but your nation gains territory which they can use for stagings and to gain resources and trade, and you gain prestige for helping win a battle. Win enough battles and gain enough exp, get noticed by your commanding officers, get promoted.
Of course, in this ficticious game of mine, you could pursue other avenues. Be a ronin, with no master, or a mercenary, who works for his money. It's tougher but you live free. Be a trader, a somewhat dangerous but profitable work. Hell, you do what you want.
That's another thing I want to touch on: Class systems. I want to see a MMORPG with lots and lots of available classes, to avoid monotony among players (300 black mages, no no no no). Different classes would give you different real-world skills, such as the ability to mix potions, or stealth, not just combattance. The game I've been working on in my head for the past few years (not League of Nations, that's another project) would utilize 48-60 classes, each one of them with unique abilities. I so want to see a game in the future, MMO or not, to top that, because odds are it'd kick ass (Morrowind sorta has because you can creat unlimited classes, but it's a choose them from the start kinda thing, not switch in mid game and get different abilities thing).
My final idea? Oh, yeah, a MMORPG based on AoK. It's a given. You know my tastes.

It's unfortunate that we haven't played any of those games. TOOOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.

MMORPG on AoK could be good, if I ever played AoK or had a decent connection for MMORPGs.

Don't worry, X. We have a MMORPG topic idea in the works. Oh yes. We do... Muwahahahahaha*Coughs violently*

So Kagon, how's about getting the next reply?

*Keeps coughing violently* I'll*cough*try*coughcough*

I don't think you should, Kaggy. Get Mudo to.

*Coughs* Good*cough*idea. Mudo! *Coughs up a lung*

Grah. Fine. *Grumbles* Next is a Reply from Zenogais, and boy does it ever fit in the same category as Ralph's.

didn't step on the caik. I have one statement..... WHERE THE **** IS XENOSAGA!?!?!?! THEY BETTER RELEASE IT OVER HERE OR I'M GONNA RANT IN EVEN BIGGER CAPS!!!!
Shoot... that was two.

Two statements, eh? Know what that means?

well that was...yeah. Let's just continue.

Good idea.


What a buncha freaks...

So uh, who's gonna get the next reply? Not me, I don't FEEL like it.

Oh, hey Energon. Since you're here, you can grace us with your presence... By getting the next Reply.

What?! Oh damn it! Grah... Fine. Slavoc's up. Stupid me for showing up...

Hey all, I'll try to keep this short, 'cuz i could write a 200 page long essay on all my RPG experence stuff... Anywho...
I think a good topic for the future would be "What's the closest call you've ever had in an RPG? Y'know, when you're fighting that accursed optional boss for the massive EXP he gives, but somehow, he takes out 3 of your party, and the only guy left has bone armor on so he can't heal himself and the doggoned bad guy keeps casting 'Fallen-One' and mute on you so you can't quite get your other party members back to life... But through some lapse of reason and force of sheer luck, you manage to kill the little bisnatch and save the game a few hundred times." Well, i thought it would make a good topic...
...What, this has to be the worst reply ever? (then I won't give you any caik...) OK, I'll give you a sample of what you'll find in that topic of which I have thought up of... thing... yeah.
I was fighting Apocalypse, you remember, that optional guy from FF5, I read in your walkthrough that he randomly casts blue spells (thank you Macc), so I wasted a skill slot on every character on "learn," even though i'd never bother using blue magic anyway, I wanted everybody hardcore. Anywhoo, this is how the battle went...
Everybody was lvl 99, so I thought he'd be easy, and he should have been... If he didn't cast aging on everybody, kill Butz (who was wearing bone armor, so he was useless), so everybody could only do about 500 damage each turn, and he just HAS to know "white wind" (which heals 9999). So picture it, one dead useless guy, three old farts who can't hit to save their lives (even though they had to), and a seemingly invincible boss, oh, and did I mention that I had only save stated an hour ago (ugh...).
Believe this, I actually got everybody to keep using flare and megalixir and after about a half hour, i won! The real ironic thing is I barely got any blue magic (thank you very MUCH, Macc), little or no EXP, which was useless anyway since I was already max level, and skill points which were too useless (being master everything sucks sometimes), all I got was a big wave of relief I won (believe me, I save a lot more now).
What, I tried to keep this short? Dernit.

That might be a good topic, just cos I can think of a very good reply for it.

Nice story, Slavoc, and we'll keep that topic in mind for the future. My closest call was fighting the three Harvest Sprites in Harvest Moon 64. It was hard because my Axe was only Silver.

Isn't Harvest Moon, like, a farming Sim? Meaning, no fighting?

Well, there was no true fighting, per se... I just liked using my Axe on the Harvest Sprites, and since they didn't die, it was a tough battle.

Wow. Just wow.

Psh. Fine. Sorry if I want to kill Harvest Sprites in a Farming Game. I got bored with growing Tomatoes.

Then you didn't pick the best game for fighting obviously.

Don't worry 984. I bet you showed those elves who the DA BOSS was.

I did. They even gave me a Recipe and a Power Berry for it.

mmmmm. hmm. WELL, let's look at the next reply.

Indeed. Grab it SG.

Alright, I shall. This next one comes from my first contributor ever to the Fan Music section, the lovely Miss Silver Knight!

SilverKnight here. Hi. Wee. >looks at the topic< Wow, you guys are really running low on topic ideas, aren't you? Ah, well, it's all good, I need to vent anyway.

Actually, we had some other ideas. We just thought this would be a good one. So good in fact we may do it again in the future.

Yeah, people to need rant occasionally.

This is the truth. Wanna send us in some nice ideas though? :P

Yes. Sending in ideas = good.

Getting to the topic at hand, what are the things that piss me off about RPG's? Most people I've heard seem to talk about lack of originality/lack of graphics/lack of cool characters/etc ad nauseum. Well, I'm more of a plot person, myself. So, for me, it's the lack of THOUGHT. I mean, there are twists out the friggin' wazoo in newer RPG's--which is all well and good, mind you--but would it be so hard to think of an actual REASON for these twists? Not just, "Oh, I want to throw something totally out of the blue to make the person playing say 'wtf are you thinking you RETARD?!'" ...okay, I'm ranting. (Naturally, that's the point of this topic, but hey, I've always been the black sheep. ...Wait, but my entire family consists of black, what would that make me, green? ...Okay, now I'm BABBLING. >shuts up<)
To make a long story short, I love twists as much as the next guy, but could there be some actual reasoning involved? Also, on the same vein, I'm also missing the days of irony. I'm talking TRUE irony, not, "the commoner who becomes king" irony--which is irony I admit--but I'm talking REAL, gut-wrenching, seriously twisted irony that would make the player think and/or say, "The dude who wrote this is one sick son of a bitch." >grins< Guilty as charged. (Okay, now I'm writing run on sentences. Bah, that's what happens when you write emails at one in the morning. >hurls some plot holes out at random< There, I feel better now. :D)
Well, that's just how I feel about it. If you're going to make a twist, make it reasonable, and as an added bonus, make it COOL, too. >hurls her two and a half cents at everyone< That's what I think. So there.

*is struck by Silver Knight's two and a half cents* Ow.

They were Canadian cents, so they couldn't hurt THAT much.

That is sorta true. I didn't like FF8's "We all grew up together and forgot" bullcrap. However it did end up making a lot of cents, but it was so ridiculous!

Yeah, FF8's little turns angered me more than anything else. The plot was just... ugh.

Eh, to be honest I thought it was the best of the PSX series, exempt FFT. But THAT was just pleh.

Eh, I loved FF9. FF8 was alright but nothing special really.

I still need to play the PSX FFs.

FF9 upset me greatly. I really felt that the last boss of that game was just THROWN in there.

Most last bosses seem that way.

Eh, if you ever play FF9, you'll be a lot more respectful to all those OTHER seeminglyt pointless last bosses.


Oh, did I mention he quotes Yoda? Yeah. So anyways. :P

Heh, I thought FF8's last boss was rather cheesy. And yes, the Yoda quote was funny.

Senseless last battle he is not. Following the last boss rule he is.

Alright then, Yoda quotes aside, our next reply comes from Doc Shinryuu.

Woo. Doc Shinryuu. Always good.

*Suddenly, the door swings open... And there's nobody there. In a few seconds, Doc Shinryuu Mega-Man-style-teleports in.* Hello, everyone. Doc Shinryuu again. *...* What? You were expecting a fanfare?
You guys have REEEALLY done it this time. Do you realize how much havoc this topic may cause? I suppose not, but anyway... It seems that there actually ARE subtle links between the Final Fantasy games. As for time difference, the games are hundreds of years apart. Here goes:
-Before ANYTHING, people started using the power of magic.
-In FF4, everything started.
-Then, in FF5, technology began to improve.
-The Magi-War began in FF9.
-The Fiends of FF9 were revived 2000 years later and FF1(!) began.
-Later, in FF6, the world is devestated and reborn, with new technology discovered from Kefka's assault.
-Thousands of years later, technology reaches it's peak in FF8 as GFs cause people to forget their heritage.
-A few hundred years later, technology had begun to decline in FF7(Red XIII may be an evolved Moomba!).
-About 500 years later, after Meteor, guns are rediscovered as humanity recuperates in FFT.
I know what you're thinking: "Doc Shinryuu is oficially INSANE," and you may be right. You never know, though. All this might be the product of over 10 years of thinking ahead by Squaresoft. Anyway, gotta go. See ya next time! *you blink, and Doc is gone without a word.*

So many theories, not enough proof.

Nice chronology of the FF series, but how does FFX fit into it?

Hey, reminds me of that rap song!

Oh god...

As for the different games, the landscape changes, and given a continental drift at roughly 1 inch per year, which is Earth's value I believe, there is no way they could look that drastically different.

People argue that the continents looks similar too. But I don't ever really see how.

Well, the Lunar games were set 1000 years apart, and those worlds changed too.

Bah. I guess I shouldn't apply LOGIC and SCIENCE to fantasy worlds, now should I? Anyway, the next reply is another MMORPG Rant from BahamutXero, a MB visitor.

Hey guys,
I've been reading the site for a while now but recently been reading the mailbags. You guys are hilarious, keep up the great work!!! Anyway, I want to talk about MMORPGs. I personally don't like them for several reasons:
1. They cost too much. I may sound like the sad old man wandering the streets but I am not spending $10-$20 a months just to play one game. If it was like a magazine subscription, say $20 a year, I'd have no problem.

Cost is the main reason I don't even consider MMORPGs. It's obnoxious to pay that much for a game.

A low yearly fee may be a bit more acceptable, but free online games would be better, like SC.

Usually it has to be done though. I mean, they made a new PSO for the main reason of making it necesary to pay. However they got peopel to buy it by making it harder to h4x0rz.

2. To me they seem to be pointless, now befor you start going crazy (even though it is often amusing when you do so), let me say something. I say pointless because in a sense, they never end. I mean I get satifaction from beating a game and one that just keeps going on and on seems boring to me.

Yes, I agree with you there. The MMORPGs tend to be fun for a while, but once you've figured most of it out, the novelty wears off, and the game loses much of it's fun.

That's true with a lot of games though.

There are MMORPGs with an offline function to make it fun anyways.

A freind of mine played Dark Ages of Camelot and it seemed to take forever to do anything. To build up craftmanship levels you just keeping typing the same hotkeys over and over again. I got bored real quick.
Anyway, I'm planning to respond more often to your mailbags. Again, you guys are a riot. Keep up the great work!!

Aww... Thanks. He thinks we're a riot. That's nice of ya.

RIOT wooooooooooooooooooooooo

Heh, not too often that we get compliments. It's greatly appreciated.

This is the truth.

Well, that ends this Mailbag for now except for one more Reply we'll put in later.


Well then, what's our next topic? Cos you guys never told me. :P

Yeah well, we like to keep secrets. Especially from you.

Especially from you?

Well, I guess we need a Topic. Since we got two Replies on MMORPGs, a MMORPG topic would be good. "How should MMORPGs be fixed so they show more innovation and are more accessible to more people?" Send Replies to the usual address.

No, not from me. From YOU.

Not from me?

No. From you.

From YOU!?!?!?


Shut up SG?

Shh... You two, stop. We need to leave then show Charlemagne's Reply so we don't die from it.

Good point 984. Charle... you're scary.

*Leaves SG and Kagon to their own insanity*

Er... before I run away screaming, here's the reply from Charlemange.

OK, The topic is like rpg free rant right? well that leaves alot of room for stuff. Lets take a look, FF1 I never played, or seen anyone play, or seen screen shots, or... well I might have seen screen shots but I doubt it. I dont remember any screen shots. well actually I did play it, but only till I go to the castle, then I was like "What is this garbage? this saved them? I wouldnt serve dog shoot* on this!" (*I will censor my self for the young and innocent viewers, that is if you put this in the mail bag, you didnt put my last/first mailbag thingy on, but maybe it was because every hated earthbound and you didnt need another post on how it is like the worst thing ever! not just in video games, it is the worst thing out of everytyhing in the universe it sucks so hard no light can escape from it. dont even get me started on earthbound. but man oh man that was an awful game)

Thanks for being considerate of the little ones, Charlemagne...

...and then I deleted it, formated my harddrive, stuck a magnet on to it as i drug it through a cactus patch, then I burned it and salted the earth, then I through it into a volcano. ok, maybe it wasnt that bad.

FF1's good. You've jut gotta be patient.

Then that gives us final fantasy 2, it was ok, i didnt bother beating it though cuz it bored the spit out of me.

FF2 requires even MORE patience. :P

then we got final fantasy 3 or 6 or whatever i never could get the numbers straight. one of the best games ever, it had the best music ever, this was the first final fantasy I played. i dont know where to start. uuuhhhmmm, ok lets move on to 4 and 5, meh. 7? Booya! its awsome, uh I think, maybe it sucked... no it didnt, because it had tifa and yuffie and what not, it could have been better (coughnuditycoughcoughfmvcough) *drinks a glass of water* excuse me, where was I? oh yeah i'm done with that. ok lets look at 8 the best final fantasy to date, it needed nudity.

I fail to see how you could dislike 4 or 5 and like the rest of the series :P

9 suck 10 sux0rz cuz 175 l31k on ps2 and ps2 is leik a waist of moni and has crappy grafix and its just a ps1 with a dvd playerr and i will nev0r play ff10 because no matter what the cercumstances are I wood nevar plat a ps2... unless cool people play it... wich they dont, they have a game cube, the superior race of gaming evolution R0XX0r!!!11111111

I play PS2, and I'm cool, right guys? ...Oh yeah they left. Well anyways they would have agreed, I'm cool. PS2, that's cool.

ok now lets look at bahamut laggooonn, it reeked.

It was ok. It requires some knowledge of raising dragons! Which I didn't have so I stopped playing it too :P

now how bout bof1, i never wanted to play through the first castle thingy, cuz it leik b0red me t0 high haven.

BoF 1 was nothing special true, but I liked it.

b0f2 one of my favorites, it had a great story kind of, it had cool music even though at that point snes on my computer didnt have sound and i dont reemmember. katt was hot and so was the bird chick... cat girls are hot... man, I wish I was a cat...

I don't. I'm allergic to cats. Wouldn't that suck if you were allergic to yourself?

I wish i had a tail... a prehencile tail, so i could pick up a staff and hit people or not. another cool cat is Battlecat from heman and the masters of the universe, I think they made a rpg out of that, but probably not. battle cat was teh b0mb!!!11. also another cool cat was cool cat, he was like a tiger that always went around doing stuff, who isnt a coool cat? uhhhh... i dont know. anyway, I got to the last dungeon and then somehow my rom got deleted. so i never got to see the end! how sad for me! i dont kno... wait... maybe that was bof 3... I dont remmber, leave me alone.


i dont even rmember if I played bof3... I do have b0f 4 though... or maybe its bof3... i dont remember, anyway its the one with the guy that turns into the dragon, and theres that long white haired guy with the big chinese dog that did stuff, and the robot chick... and the cat guy... i think thats 4 i am pretty sure it had a v in the name... anyway, yeah, thats a cool rpg i never bothered playing it to the end.

BoF 4 makes less sense than I do, so I don't blame you. In fact didn't someone mention that last mailbag? I forgot.

all rpgs are the same. uuuhhh. lets see, where are we? CHrono trigger! THE BEST GAME EVER MADE!!! its like better than all the final fantasies combined! ayla was scksay! cuz she had like a tail on her costume. magus is like my favorite person ever! i wish I was him... i base my life around this game. it should be in a moozyum somwhere...

Too easy.

Chrono cross was pretty crappy i never bothered playing it all the way through, every oonce in a long while I would start it up and wonder where I got to and where I should go, i'm like at the point where I think i am sposed to go to that triangle ocean thingy and go Back to the Future, and stuff or somthing i dunno.

Better than CT :P

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh they need to make a good vampire rpg. and a- OH! hey you know starfox adventures? of course you do, anyway, that was sposed to be called just "dinosaur planet" and you would have played only as krystal (she is hot! mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm) and fox isnt even in the game. it would have been awsome, but noooooooo they were all like "hey shes like a fox right?" "yeah, shes foxxy" "well you know who else is a fox?" "uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh no?" "Starfox!" "his name is Fox Mcloud" "whatever, lets go pitch this stupid idea of ours to joe rareware founder of rareware blag balhlhala" "hey it wasnt my idea at all, i dont want to be blamed for this collosall mistake" "well too bad, i got pictures of you... with a goat!" "what? what are you talking about?" "you know what I'm talking about, biotch!" "your back on the sauce, arent you, jim?" "maybe I am, and maybe I AM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA *hic*" anyway, yeah, it went like that. or somthing. ok then they did it and every one was sad, the end.

This is a Free for all rant, but it's on RPGs so stop it :P

they cant really make an rpg out of spiderman or the x-men... but they might be able to make a silver surfer rpg, that would be cool, find planets for galactus to munch.uuuhhhhh, they should make a new mariorpg, i never played the original cuz it sounds insanly stupid.

Both Mario RPGs are ludicrously fun. You're missing out.

but I just though some of you might think its a goood idea. shenmue! they should make more games where you can collect quarter machine thingyes. that was cool.

I'll be playing that game soon!

they should make a harlem globtrotters rpg. they need to make games more interactive, I want to be able to talk to people and have them talk back but have different things to say depending on how I say it or what words I use or who I'm talking to and if I ask the same thing in the same way he should say somthing different or maybe say "I just told you!" or somtihng. they should make a Memento rpg, that would actually be pretty cool.

Nah, don't do that. You know how the book is always better than the movie? Well the movie is always better than the game. No Memento RPG.

as I was saying, games should be more interactive, shenmue was pretty good at it, but you couldnt do anything you would do in reall life. for instance the game could have a k-mart or somthing, where you could buy a backpack and you could hold a bunch of stuff but after a while you would lose your grip because of the awquard angle the things are being held. and I want to be able to walk into some random persons house and steal every thing. I wanna mug people. I wanna be able to marry a chick without a stinkin blue feather. this seams less of an rpg and more of a sim... well actually I guess its a type of cross breed. I WANT A GAME THAT HAS A HUMAN BRAIN INSIDE IT!!! ONE THAT WOULD CONCIDER ANY POSSIBLE MOVE AND HAVE AN ANSWER FOR IT!!! they need to be able to do that!!!

That's digustifying.

and what ever happend to Virtual reality? they never really went anywhere with that.sure they have some stuff at certain arcades. but this is the year 2002! in the 80's the year 2000 and up would have flying cars and vr visors in every household and tiny bagle bite type pizzas that you would put in this oven device and it would pop out a large pizza. and all food would come in little pills and when you squirt a drop f water on it they plump into a full course meal and steming turkey and mashed pootatatos and what not. and cities under the ocean! wheres the flying cars!?!?!?

If there was EVER a VR RPG, that would just be...Yikes. There were never any virtual boy RPGs for a REASON :P

And why dont they translate dating sims? they look funner than real dating when I see them in anime and manga and stuff. I want a dating sim not that I couldnt have my choice of any girl in california. why does all the cool stuff stay in japan? and why havent they made a new zelda anime? i also wanna see more fish in video games.

There are more fish in the video games in Japan :P

and Iwant a game like shenmue, only you can actually go around the world and visit millions of cities with millions of different people that each have a million different things to say depending on what you have done earlier in the game. I want a game where you can go to a movie theater and watch a real movie, liek alien or back to the future, good movies. I want a highly detailed SIMLIFE. but its kind of not a sim its like an rpg... no. maybe its sim... but stilll its coo.

That would be like, almost impossible. Good luck ever finding a game like that. :P Hmm, bye. *leaves*