by Ersatz Sobriquet
Have you ever woke up and felt all wrong about what just happened the previous night? Like, did you ever feel that the things you said and the way it all came out just should have stayed within? Like, even if it was true? You just feel so much regret, but at the same time, you are kinda relieved that you finally got it off your chest? You wish that you could go back and take the scene that keeps playing over in your mind and just sorta editing it all out so that it won't seem so jagged, so weird and awkward. Making it seem much more smoother than what it turned out to be?
Well, I had an experience like that recently. In fact, as you might have easily guessed it, last night. I finally told him that I loved him. That he was all I ever think of. When I'm doing laundry, when I'm doing my hair, when I'm eating, whenÖ god, all the time! He's always on my mind.
Jeile Hawthe. He arrived here in Nibelheim about three years after the battle with Seipthroth... around that same time Cloud went all psycho and committed horrendous acts against everyone. Even... me. It was understood a bit later that the effects of his past scarred deeper than any of us ever imagined it to be, and he was still regressing over it internally, unable to find a outlet for such emotions but through the acts he performed.
It was so awful, so terrible for him to be eradicated the way that he was. The way that we did it, but it needed to be done. He seemed to be next to impossible to stop.
I wished with my all that Cloud wouldn't go to the depths that he sunk to, even through all that he'd been through, but it was inevitable, I guess. I guess.
But, this isn't a story about Cloud. And even though I was almost sure about where I would be standing in relation to him, that I would be his wife and that our life together would be more than perfect, it didn't pan out to be that way at all. And so, as I mentioned earlier, that was when Jeile stepped on the scene.
He wasn't an arrogant, cocky little thing like Cloud was in his earlier days. Jeile was a bit shy, but was eager to talk to you, to make you his new friend. It wasn't a thing to him to go out his way to make sure that you were able to enjoy your day to the fullest.
I remember when Marlene had said that she wanted some ice cream, and all the stores around here were closed, it being the weekend and all. So, after expressing how sorry he was that he wasn't able to get her ice cream that night, the following day came around and he presented her with a two gallon tub of cookie dough ice cream, her favorite. He was so intent on letting her know how much he wanted her to know that he did care for her that it blew me away, practically.
I had never met someone like him before. Whatever we ever talked about, it always seemed to be positive, even when negative topics crept our way. He is such a sweetheart.
Jeile is nowhere close to the physical physique of Cloud, but that really doesn't matter. He is a cutie, and I will admit that. And he has such succulent lips... so kissable!
So, you can imagine how hard it is for a girl not to fall for him.
I had to let him know. Know exactly how I felt, but I didn't really know how to, you know?
I invited him over to this little diner that opened up a few months ago that was cozy and at the same time a bit sexy, if that makes sense to you. The whole color scheme was so retro. Red and white tiles everywhere. The bright red. The deep passionate red. Can you sorta see why I thought this place to be sexy?
We sat at a table that was in the middle of the room, big enough for only two people. Jeile had heard of this new drink that was all the rage of the town and wanted to try it out. Ordering for the both of us, we soon received a cherry pop. It was some sort of soda, I suppose. The flavor instantly grabbed me, and got my mind in tune for what I was about to say.
He was marveling at the service of the place and at the pop that he had sitting in front of him. I wasn't too certain exactly what it was that he was so happy about since everything seemed like a blur as I waited for the right opportunity to say what I wanted to say to him. That he's been on my mind for such a long time now. That he has to be the nicest persons I ever encountered... ever. That I love him? Yeah. Love him.
Jeile said a few other things as my blood ran wildly through my veins and it became harder to breathe. Just as I was about to tell him, all the questions began to assault my mind. What if he never thought of me like that? What if he shied away from me after this? What if he actually had his eye on someone else? Maybe I'm not his type. What if, what if.
I stared at my pop as he kept talking about something or other. Mops, maybe, and about the durable quality they possess in picking up water, I dunno. But, looking at that cherry pop, looking at the little bubbles that started it's journey from the bottom and eventually reaching the top, finally the trapped air being released and free, back with the others... made me think. I only have one way to go right now in my life. Up. If he rejects me, then I still be on the bottom, but won't have to fall to the bottom again. You know?
So, without hesitation, I just blurted out, "I love you!"
My face, of course turned a deep red, and I covered my mouth, a bit shocked that I actually said it. Amazed at the lack of tack I had. Everyone stopped and looked our way.
He could only stare, shock, mouth dropped wide in amazement.
It came from deep within, but I felt this surge, all these feelings racing through my veins. My throat got tight, and my eyes began to feel moist.
I hastily got up from the table, knocking over the pop as I did so, and ran out the door. I never looked back, never even thinking of how stupid I looked and how embarrassed I must have made him feel. I went to sleep as soon as I got home and didn't wake up until this morning, tired still, and cursing my life for the turn I took it in.
I knew he would never... ever talk to me again.
I walked past my door, though; there was a little note that was slid under. Picking it up, I was shocked to read the message that he had sent me and all the regrets I had fled as I was filled with warmth and tender feelings. The smile on my face couldn't have been any wider as I read the note over and over again.
So, please excuse me as I go change, for he won't be waiting much longer for me. Well, he probably will, but I'd rather not chance it.
Oh. The note. You want to read it? Here.
I really don't know how to express myself like this. With paper placing limitations on the feelings our hearts want to express. But, the three words I can pass on to you to let you know of the feelings I have can be written: I love you. I will not at this time engage in lengthy history of my endearment towards you for then we will have nothing to talk about. Please meet me at the Cafe la Rondora at 2:00 this afternoon, and please don't fret. I'll buy you another cherry pop.
Notes Dí Auteur
Forgive me, for Iím on a roll with these happy, slightly touching stories.
This story worked out twofold for my writing projects. Iím now trying to have a list of stories that will have some sort of flavor or scent tinge in the title and referenced in the story, with the whole tale being told in first person view. The first one was Vanilla Nights based off FF 6. Now this one, based off FF 7, and soon to follow, one based off FF 8 and 9, with the same short length, love/romance as the topic and first person view. After that, maybe CT and CC (thought I doubt the latter).
And the second reason. I remember reading a new exercise some authors do where they just write the feelings and tell the story without any kind of editing. Well, Iím not the best speller, Iíll tell you that right now, so I did do spell-checking, but no word changing was done with this story here. Everything is as it was that late Saturday morning. I think it turned out pretty good, too. Showed the type of feeling a normal girl would have. Well, I think so at least.
Again, again, hope you enjoyed this piece!