In the Clutches
She's cold as death itself.
She clings to the heat of my body, even if it seems to burn her sometimes. At times I can't help myself and try to hold her, even if I know what happens then. She hisses in shock and moves back, staring at me with eyes filled with fear and confusion.
I hate the confusion... it sends torturing chills through my weak body, because I know what comes after that disorientation, when it begins to settle. When the hesitant part falls back it stirs up memories at the same time...
Those are the foulest... that is the worst of all. To see her writhe, trying to escape them... to hear her cry.
But... no memories right now... they're still not there, not yet. Right now she's in the trance that torture me just like everything else, but it's the least painful of my torments.
At least she's not in pain... that's all I can pray for now.
My head is heavily slumped backwards and I don't even try to fight her icicle fingertips on my cheeks. They move in a sort of deadly carress, I know well what will happen but I don't try to fight her. She's in enough pain... how could I bring her more even if my instincts are screaming.
They never give up protesting. Somehow trying to give me hope, perhaps. Hope that I'm not beaten yet.
My slitted eyes stare into the flames of hers, the lifeless, hungry gaze she holds on mine for a few moments makes my soul cry.
Oh goddess, just get it over with...
No... no... as long as she's like this she won't feel any pain... that hurts more...
My fists clench as her pitchblack pupils leaves mine and I can feel the fake, hungry smirk on her lips even if I can't see it. It's not real, she doesn't really feel like that... I know it, I know...
The lips that brush over mine are so cold that it burns, but I have to respond to the poison kiss if I want to keep her torture at bay for a few moments longer.
Luna, it hurts, it hurts so damn much...
Her fingertips aren't on my cheeks anymore, they have traveled down to my neck.
"No..." is all I can murmur in a broken whisper as her lips move further down my mouth, one excrucingly painful tiny movement at the time.
I hear her hiss in fake delight at my pain, when she's like this she believes that she adores it.
That is almost more painful than her screams, that she draws pleasure from my horror.
She also thinks that my terror is for what I know she'll do... but it's what I know will eventually follow.
But every single second I can stalk the true torment is a victory. There's just so little I can do...
I've given up the hope for her happiness and peace of mind. If false, twisted joy is all I can hope to give her, that is what I will do. It's all I can do to protect her...
"Don't..." I harshly whisper, her upper lip still lingering on my lower with teaseful cruelty.
If these are my last tears, I gladly give them to her to save her a little longer.
She straightens up and curiosly looks at the water crystals running down my skin. Then she meets my drained gaze again, and she smirks.
"Poor, brave beassstman..." she purrs, her touch surely freezing the tears into eternal icepearls.
Her voice isn't like it was, either... it's cold too...
But at least her fingers are back on my cheeks. They move away too quickly though, even if a part of me still cowers in fear and wishes she'd get the foulness over with.
My fists clench again. I said it too quickly... I wasted one of the precious words that can make her go back in the process. My coward side got the better of me before I could stop it.
She gives a cold chuckle, purring in delight when I let out a shuddering breath against her lips as they close in on mine again.
I used to long for those lips to touch mine... I still do, for as long as they are there, she is safe for another short while. But they never stay long enough, nothing would be long enough except eternity. To freeze in this position forever, before it's too late.
I try to make her stay for as long as I can, but my surrendering kisses bore her after a few precious moments and she begins to move down my face again.
But it's no use... I've used up the words already. She only chuckles once, coldly, her breath freezing the skin on my chin.
Her fingers caress my neck a little more urgently as her lips slowly move over the side of my chin, following the cheekbone for a little.
I shiver and her lips smile scornfully against my sensitiver skin.
I can feel from the movements of her fingers how great her hunger is getting, they move down to my chest not to be in the way as her lips slowly but steadily comes closer to their goal.
"Stop... don't..." I whisper, trying desperately to call her back from the abyss she's pulling us both at.
But I feel her lips touch the area where my pulse is to be felt the best. It thunders in my head and against her coldness.
She remains like that for a little, lifting her mouth from my skin momentarily. The fingertips comes back, stroking the chained blood almost lovingly. I shudder again, more violently this time. And she smiles.
"Poor, beautiful beassst..." she whispers with a soft, content sigh.
I close my eyes, hoping to escape the sight of her head slowly lowering. But I feel it better than I would ever want.
The fingertips caress their way away again, coming to my left shoulder. Her idle hand already has the other one. Moving together they slip down and around my back. She knows well I can't move, but perhaps it's instinctual...
I shiver as her hair strokes my skin when she bows her head. Even if I believed that I could stop her now, my tonge is too dry to move.
At first, only her lips again, caressing my skin longingly as if she still wants to save her delight for a little while. But the lips part and her front teeth tastes my skin, scraping it gently. Longing just like her lips.
But after those soft touches, she can't hold herself back anymore even if she wanted to. I feel her tense and hear her low growl, shutting my eyes tightly.
I can feel her fangs grow and every muscle in my body turns tense in a silent scream.
My skin isn't thick enough to fight the sharp knives and she easily plunges her teeth into my bloodstream. Blazing stars of pain flares before my eyes as they are forced wide open and my lips part in wild spasms.
I can only groan, my tongue is like a dying leaf in Navarre.
Seconds move past like days, stretched by the infernal torment. The chilling fangs remain in my body, bending the torn skin to let my blood flow out. And her tounge moves over my skin like a cold tentacle, lapping up every drop.
As I can no longer think of anything else than prayers of her letting me go, the ice in my flesh slowly moves away. For a few more moments, while I gasp for air in ragged breaths, she keeps moving her tongue over the remaining blood.
Ironically, the touch that lights revulsion in me is the one that heals my wounds. What she cut up is closed by her touch, even if the pain will remain for a while longer.
My head is spinning, body heavy by loss of blood. Not that either of them can serve me well anymore.
The first thought I can produce is the one that strangles the forceful relief I just felt.
It's too late...
When her hunger is stilled, the trance begins to falter and the memories come... and somebody is only waiting for that moment. That's why I fear her memories with double force, for the pain that whips at me due to them is strengthened by somebody else.
I stare at her, but my movements are sluggish as I try to shift. She straightens up and smirk at me, still blissfully free.
Please, torture me again... start all over, just as long as you don't recall what we are...
But already the fire in her eyes sparkles as the blood that she drank gives her new strength. It reenergizes her when hunger and fear lets her enter the blessed trance.
"No..." I croak again, but as she sees my horror and slowly begins to realize that it's meant for her, I only manage to push her in the wrong direction.
No... please don't remember who you are...
But I can only helplessly watch her as her head slowly tilts and her eyes change from cold and sneering to questioning.
I close my eyes as her hand come to my cheek once more, this time not mocking a caress but trying to figure something out.
She lets out a short, sharp breath and I open my eyes to find hers wide in confusion. I look away in agony. She's about to fall over the edge...
My blood feeds her body and mind... she can think clearly again, and she grasps the truth bit by bit and all too fast.
I cannot keep looking away as it starts clawing at her and the eyes that were delighted mere moments ago fill with horror and realization.
Her cold fingers claw against her neck and lips before she presses her hands against her mouth in terror over what she just did to me.
My tears are all used up for now...
"I did... didn't m... mean..." she stutters, wanting to back away but too afraid to move.
"I know..." I weakly breathe, trying to give her the little comfort I possibly can offer.
With a shriek of despair she throws herself at me and buries her face against my chest. My breath comes out ragged and shaking, I know that even if I tried now I wouldn't be allowed to embrace her. My bounds have a mind of their own, as sadistic as the blasted demon who made them. So I just remain as I am, slumped against the wall.
She pleads for the same every night, knowing my answer.
"I can't... forgive me..."
The goddess knows I would if I could, but I won't be allowed to just as she won't. All spirits, if only we could...
She tenses, her arms squeezing me in silent wailing.
Not so soon... no...!
"That's enough romance for tonight."
I can't hold back a growl, I don't even try to as he smirks. Everytime I challenge him, we all knows what happens. But it's better than hearing her scream... in compare to that it's heaven to bring his delighted wrath upon me.
"You never give up, do you?" he comments with a sneer.
His sneer is hungrier than her trance, but I rather face him than her. Much rather.
I don't reply.
Sometimes I'm not sure if he really understands what tortures me the most, but I'm not going to try that single luck.
He must know, because I can't hold back when he doesn't take up my challenge. Despite how drained I am, that terror gives me force enough to fight my bounds, desperate to break free and save her.
He enjoys ultimate pleasure in our pain and horror, delights in playing with us.
I always finds the strength to try, but I don't always manage to change his mind.
In fact, do I ever? Doesn't he just pretend to consider?
I want to scream as he looks at her, and she shudders against me. I want to scream...
Take me, oh goddess please take me, don't hurt her...
As he rips her away from me every fiber in my body screams and it's pure wonder that my bonds still hold. The wall and floor even crack dangerously.
She doesn't fight his grip, doesn't seem to have the strength to do it. I don't either but I can't stand to watch her get dragged away to be tortured by him.
He smirks in amused delight as I fight to break free.
"Don't touch her!" I roar, I can't believe I still have the strength to do it.
Their eyes show that they didn't think I had it either.
"Fascinating," he smirks, and she is sprawled on the floor as he lets her go.
It's only a half relief, but it's all we'll ever have.
His hands flare with darkness as I transform, my fangs bared and my eyes burning with rage. It won't help me get loose but I won't give up... I won't give up, you damn bastard!
She shrieks and clumsily gets to her knees, the dark dress and cape not showing any signs of dust despite her fall.
He looks at her and she almost draws back. But this time she holds her ground, even if she's trembling and can't seem to get to her feet.
"What?" he says, soft as silk.
It makes me grit my teeth to see her like that... I could cry. I want to cry...
"Don't hurt him, please, I'll do anything, anything..." she begs, her hands falling to the ground.
The nails cut into the cold stone as she shivers.
Can it be that when I try to save her by bringing my version of the torment upon myself, I torture her more than he does alone?
My rage twists and fades as I give a dry sob and crash to my knees.
"Don't take her..." I croak, desperately.
Then what can I do to help?!
He laughs, throughoughly amused.
"You two are simply unbelievebale..."
I helplessly growl as her head is forced upwards by his claws and she stares at him in terror. Terror for me?
He smirks, hungrily.
"But very well, I have plenty of time to take care of both of you tonight."
She shrieks in despair as she's flung at me and I desperately clutch her cold, shivering body against mine as well as the bounds allow. Her lifeless blond hair slouches over the floor as we cover for the black lightning bolts that tear our flesh and wills into pieces.
Rather this... agony... than... her screams... from the other room... and knowing... what... he does to... her...
I sit straight up in the darkness, for several moments wondering how I could move this far with the black chains on...
Then I hear two voices, and realization hits me with so much relief that I almost fall back down of pure exhaust.
And a scared baby's cry.
With a groan I press my hands against my face and try to get control of the remaining fear and the burning feeling of freedom.
Thank the goddess... thank you with all my soul...
"Kevin, what's wrong?"
A warm hand touches my literally soaking shoulder. Warm... it's warm...
"Goddess..." I breathe of relief, turning to Lise and hugging her fiercely in the darkness.
After the first momentary surprise she hugs back, ignoring that I'm covered with cold sweat.
"Did you have a nightmare?" she whispers, worriedly.
"So real..." I growl.
The child's cry calls to my senses and I let go of my wife, turning again and reaching out. The sound, smell and knowledge helps me find the craddle and I carefully lift the baby into my arms. He whimpers but turns calmer as I whisper to him.
Lise lits a match and then a candle by the bed, still watching me with concern as I meet her gaze.
"Tell me about it, you'll feel better," she gently says.
I watch her for a moment, then resolutely shake my head.
"It was about you too..."
A growl rise within my throat, one that I haven't used for a long time.
But it's obviously just as specified as I myself find it to be.
"Rakadra?" Lise slowly says after a moment, pursing her mouth.
Trying to strangle the growl not to scare Jason again I nod.
"I don't want to tell," I grimly mutter.
She leans at me, hanging her soft, warm arms protectively around my neck.
"Alright, I understand," she whispers.
Jason seems to have calmed down so I gently put him back in the craddle. However I note that my hands are still shaking as I draw back.
Without a word Lise slips off the bed and goes over to the wardrobe across the room. She comes back with a towel, but won't let me take it. Instead she sits down beside me and starts to gently rub it over my bare upper body to dry the sweat off my skin.
I watch her as she does so. She's warm, her eyes are vibrant and the blond locks flow in gold...
My fists clench as I force myself to wait.
She carefully dries my face and chest, going over to the back and right arm.
"There," she finally says and throws the towel at the end of the bed with a simple movement, spreading her arms for my embrace.
I need to feel that she really is alright...
With a soft sigh I lean back until we're both lying down again, Lise resting on my chest.
"You never made a sound, it's strange," she mumbles and carress my cheek with warm, living fingertips, "I didn't wake up until you screamed."
"No matter now..." I mutter, hugging her tight to let her calming smell fill my head.
... That's strange... I clearly remember every sound and feeling the cold touches, seeing it all vividly, even the foul taste in my mouth. But I never felt any smell, why was my strongest sense excluded?
I don't want to wonder, I don't want to think about it. I just want to hold Lise tight and know that it was just a dream...
My hand absently reaches for hers and gently pulls it down to my neck. She doesn't ask, just carefully strokes my skin. With warm, truly fingers.
"If you need to let it out just tell me," she kindly assures and touches my lips with her own, lovingly.
I don't say a word, just silently hug her tighter to me.
It's alright... it really is alright...