by Ersatz Sobriquet
On and on, reckless abandon.
Something’s wrong, this is gonna shock them.
Nothing to hold on to,
We'll use this song to lead you on,
And break the truth with more bad news.
(S)he left a scar, size extra large.
Blink 182- Reckless Abandon
Rinoa looked down at the
end of the gunblade that protruded from between her breast, soft warm blood
dripping off it’s tip, lingering on the edge before falling to the ground. Oh,
god! The pain!
She... she didn’t know why
her attacker would do such a thing. She tried to cock her head behind her to
get a good look at her attacker. The pain!
Her eyes were full of tears
as her head got but a glimpse of her attacker. Please... the pain. End it!
Her breathing was slowing down.
She wanted it to end. But what a pitiful way for it to end! Blood was now being
coughed up uncontrollably as her eyes continued to water. She asked the
question over and over again in her mind in those few seconds why her attacker
would do such a thing. Commit this act against her, no less.
She coughed up yet more
blood as she gained a somewhat understanding of why this was happening. Why was
her attacker smiling, though? Why? She had to hear it from the attackers own
lips as Rinoa muttered, “Why?”
The only answer received
was the trigger being pulled on the gunblade. Rinoa’s body shook violently for
but a moment and then slumped to the floor once the gunblade was pulled out.
The attacker merely looked at the body, then at the gunblade. A slight smile
rose on the attacker’s face, and then a simple statement, “How ironic.” A
moment later, a scream was heard from behind the attacker.
Squall was escorted down
the hall by two other SeeD seniors. He walked along those corridors wanting and
waiting to wake up. This had to be a dream. She couldn’t have been gone. Not
now. Not yet. It was just too soon. But, she was dead. Rinoa was dead and
killed by his own weapon out of all the things. Why? Why?
The halls of Balamb Garden
were pretty empty that fateful day. The few students that did grace the hall of
their presence avoided eye contact with Squall. He felt like a murderer. He was
partly to blame, he reasoned. He didn’t know why it had to come to this,
though. Anything. Anything but this.
Squall and the two SeeD students walked along until they reached the detainment
room. The attacker was inside, being interrogated by Zell. Zell was promoted to
Master Trainer, the third highest rank a SeeD can become. Master Trainers were
responsible for training all recruits in the art of hand to hand combat,
helping them to get out of sticky situations should they lose their weapon.
Master Trainers also policed the Garden with their patrol.
Zell was not happy at all about the recent murder of Rinoa. “How could you be
so stupid!?” he exploded once more. He had been yelling at the attacker nearly
all afternoon. “We fought along side together against that witch the whole
time, and you never resorted to something like this! Why now, huh? Why?!”
The attacker’s eyes were
shifted downward the whole time. Realizing Zell wanted an answer and wouldn’t
let up, the attacker finally said, “I hate her.” A painfully simple statement,
but true nonetheless.
Zell cursed at that last
remark and punched the wall. The dent probably felt homey with the other dents
that littered the wall, courtesy of Zell. “What kind of answer is that?! Your
an idiot, you know that?! A freakin’ idiot! You know your gonna probably end up
dead for this, right?!”
The attacker said nothing.
“Say something!” Zell yelled,
face flushed completely red.
A frown came across the
attacker’s face, and looking at Zell, spat, “Bite me.”
It was a grand party,
indeed. It was the third anniversary the regular crew had, rejoicing over the
victory of Ultimecia. Zell, Quistis,
Selphie, Irvine, Squall and Rinoa were all there. Rinoa had organized it along
with Selphie. It seemed that Rinoa was starting to pick up quirky little habits
Selphie had. Like forming this party. Although the party in itself wasn’t a bad
thing, Squall wasn’t too thrilled to see some of Selphie’s qualities in her.
On the outside, Squall and
Rinoa were very much a happy little couple. Sometimes, a sickening one. It was
just over the years, Squall started to grow apart from Rinoa. Even though she
was his first true love, her still couldn’t help but realize that this wasn’t
the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Rinoa seemed to have sensed
the feelings Squall had for her waning as well. She started doing more things
for Squall, trying to please him whenever possible. She would go out and buy
him the most expensive things just so she could see that smile on his face. She
didn’t want to lose him. She still loved him very much. Needed him, in fact.
Squall on the other hand
was constantly concerned for Quistis sake, since she did still show signs of
affection for him. But whenever approached about them, she always shook it off
as something trivial, that Squall shouldn’t worry about it.
“I’m a grown girl now,
Squall,” Quistis would often say. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry!” She always ended
it with a smile.
Squall took her advice and simply didn’t worry about it. He would be the last
one to admit it, but he was always a bit sadden when she said she was fine and
wasn’t searching for his love. Probably because he felt something for her he
never admitted to. He took her rejections of him in strides, though. He was a
lot different nowadays. A lot more open during these times. Things didn’t
stress him out as much as they would have before. He was now Headmaster, been
so for about three years, just about as long as it had been since Ultimecia was defeated. It was a hard and grueling task, but he
enjoyed it. To see the SeeD students progress the way they did was truly
something worth working as hard as he did for.
Irvine and Zell were now
the best of friends. Irvine replaced Zell’s need to hang out with someone,
seeing as how his best friend, Squall started dating Rinoa. As all couples
usually go, Squall spent little time away from the one he cared for so. It
would usually be Zell and Irvine would who go on various SeeD missions
throughout the world, particularly Dollet. It was still a hostile territory,
probably always would be. It was during those times that they bonded as well as
Even though Irvine
expressed interest in Selphie, he placed his feelings to the side until they
had lived their lives a little, and she responded well to that. It gave them
time to grow and be better individuals. And they knew that that would only make
their marriage that much more stronger.
“I’ll help you, Rinoa,”
Selphie called out to Rinoa as she started to put things away.
It was late, and Irvine and
Zell had yet another mission they were to go on the following day. The
culmination of partying and lack of sleep for the past couple of days wore them
out and they headed out from the party. After saying their good-byes, Squall
had to leave pretty soon as well. The stacks of papers sitting on his desk
weren’t to go away by themselves, as nice as a thought that was. So he retired
from the party as well.
That only left Selphie, Quistis and Rinoa.
“What a great party,
Rinoa.” Quistis commented as she slumped down in a chair, letting her arms
droop to the sides. “I’m going to have to have one, one of these days.”
Rinoa picked up a plate of
crumbs left over by Zell. What a mess, that Zell is! she thought as she
fought to keep all crumbs on the plate, a battle that proved to be harder than
slaying any enemies. “Yeah, it turned out pretty good. You should have one, Quis,
I bet it’ll be a blast.”
Selphie was still running
around the little room with a video camera in hand, taping stupid little things
at that point. “Lookey at this!” Selphie said, pointing the camera at a plate
Rinoa was holding. “Zell is just a little piggy, isn’t he?” she said in a cute
Rinoa just rolled her eyes
as she started walking around Selphie, sighing, “You know, you said you would help
me with all this mess, Selphie.”
Selphie kept the camera
locked on Rinoa until she disappeared inside a room. “Oh, she’s being a cranky
pants, isn’t she?” Turning the camera around, and pointing it directly in her
face, she whispered, “I think it’s that time of the month.”
Quistis heard that last
comment and giggled slightly over that. Standing up, she looked out a window
and admired the starry sky. The way the stars tingled so. It reminded her of
that day her and Squall talked some overlooking a starry sky. How he said he
didn’t love her... or even remotely feel for her the way she did for him. It
took everything in her power not to break down and cry like she was doing
“I can’t live in the... the
past.” she muttered. She turned back around to see Selphie still taping silly
little things, and shook her head at her antics. She wished she could be like
her. Carefree and happy… feelings she hadn’t experienced in years.
Quistis’ stomach started
moaning a bit. She probably shouldn’t have eaten as much ice cream as she did.
Or take up Zell in a hot dog contest. Oh well, she shrugged to herself
as she walked to the bathroom.
“I think Quistis has to
take a dump!” Selphie said, as she taped Quistis walking to the bathroom
holding her stomach some. Quistis flagged her away as she closed the door.
Selphie laughed at this
some until Rinoa popped from out of the kitchen, yelling, “Put that camera away
and help me! Geez!” Smiling, Selphie laid the camera down and started helping
Squall looked through the
glass windows to Rinoa’s attacker. For some reason, he wasn’t angry but sadden
that such a thing would happen. To Rinoa no less. She deserved better... better
than to meet death at her age. He remembered it too, how Rinoa had taken him
aside and told him about how she saw it. Their life together.
“It’s just like a fairy
tale. You’re the dashing young prince and I’m the princess.” Rinoa had started.
“Together, we beat the big, bad witch and now we get to live forever after.
Nothing will stop us from being together. Nothing.” She ended that last
statement with a smile and kissed Squall gently on the lips.
He could still feel that
kiss, too. Those soft lips touching his. Those pure black eyes staring back at
him as he opened his eyes from their kiss. Those soft, glassy eyes. He then laughed some as he looked at the attacker.
Nothing was to stop their love. Nothing. He shook and lowered his head, closing
his eyes as he remembered that day even more.
“But what if something does
come between us?” he remembered saying. “Then what?” It was said in a playful
way... so as to invoke another comment that would lead to a kiss. Squall
started getting slick like that.
“Well, I hope you would put
that gunblade of yours to good use, then.” she replied.
Squall then stood up from
the little grassy hill they sat on and started to swing his gunblade some.
“Your right! No one will get by us as long as I have this lovely by my side.”
Rinoa had raised an
eyebrow. “Who? Me or the gunblade?” They had laughed some after that and ended
it with yet another kiss.
The beautiful memory was
then broken as Zell punched the walls once more, enraged at the answer the
attacker gave him. His fist left yet another mark against the soft metallic
walls that accompanied the rest nicely.
Well, that certainly was
a nice party. Although, it would have been better if Rinoa hadn’t organized it.
Quistis thought as she fixed her hair
some, looking back at herself in the mirror. Despite what she may tell Squall,
that her heart is fine and that it doesn’t bother her that Rinoa and Squall are
together it eats at her insides so badly, it could be a sickness. Everyday it’s
the same thing. She wishes constantly that she wouldn’t feel this anymore.
Four times had Quistis tried to either seduce Squall or make him feel guilty
that he’s not with her. But, so far it hadn’t worked out for the better. She
had a few more plans in the works. One, in fact that would go into effect the
following day. She smiled some as she thought how well thought out the plan
After brushing her blonde hair some, she readied herself to see that... woman
again. Oh well, it’ll be all better when Squall is mine. she smiled to
herself. As she walked out of the bathroom, she stopped in mid-step when she
heard a squeaky Selphie exclaim, “Ohmigod! It’s beautiful! It’s so big,
Whatever is she talking
about, Quistis wondered as she crept
to the doorway to the kitchen. What she saw was the most depressing sight she
ever witnessed before in her life. There was Rinoa. Showing off a ring. She
couldn’t make out what kind of ring, but it had to be a wedding ring. A
wedding ring that Squall gave her.
She covered her mouth,
holding back a rather loud gasp, and continued looking on with widening eyes. She’s
his. She’s really his. she said over and over in her mind, confused and
amazed all at once. She’s really his. She’s really his. Soon her tone
turned angrier. She’s REALLY HIS! I can’t believe she’s his!!! She began
backing up from the kitchen, the following words of Rinoa and Selphie too
clouded to comprehend anymore.
“The ring looks so...
prettyful.” Selphie said.
“You think so? Squall
picked it out himself. He said that.. that...” Rinoa couldn’t finish that last
sentence, and burst into laughter with Selphie doing the same.
“Rinoa! Your supposed to
act more seriously! The play is only next week and your still laughing when we
rehearse that last part!” Selphie giggled still.
“I know, I know. I’ll do
better. Let’s try it again. And does it have to be Squall that gave me the
ring?” Rinoa asked. “You know I feel weird about that.”
“It’s all in your mind! He
still likes you, don’t worry!” Selphie tried to reassure her.
“I don’t know. I’m
beginning to think he really does have a thing for Quis.” Rinoa replied.
“He don’t, kay? Now, don’t
go nowhere. I have ta go get something from my room real quick.” Selphie said
as she ran out the room.
She was completely
oblivious to Quistis. Her hand still over her mouth, she continued backing up
until her foot hit something. Looking back and down, she saw it. Squall’s
gunblade. He must have left it here. Picking it up, she looked at it
through teary eyes. Squall’s gunblade. A few moments past, and then a
mischievous grin appeared on her face.
A few curses came from
inside the detainment room, and then more yelling. “Bite me?!” Zell yelled.
“I’ll friggin’ bite your head off, you little bi...”
“Zell! Stop it and come out
here.” Squall yelled to him.
Zell’s face was red with
anger still and he punched the wall one more time before storming out the room.
Seeing Zell walk off like that, Squall told the two SeeD seniors that escorted
him earlier to follow and make sure he
wouldn’t do anything dumb. They nodded and began to follow Zell as Squall
entered the detainment room. After closing the door, he looked at Rinoa’s
attacker. Rinoa’s attacker merely placed her head down, too ashamed to look at
Squall in the face.
Squall wasn’t angry, or
mad. He felt bad. Bad over the whole situation. A lot has happened in the past
three years, and things didn’t get him like they did before. He was a lot
calmer now. More mellow. Relaxed. Even through stressful times such as this. He
just forgot how to hate. To allow himself to be angry. Rinoa taught him how to
be a better person, and even though the very person that taught him how to be
better was gone now, he still felt no anger. Especially to this person. The one
who ended Rinoa’s life. Probably because he still felt something for this
“Quistis,” Squall merely
said. Still too ashamed to look up, she hid her hands in her face. The tears
began to resurface once more, and soon she was crying like the night before.
After Riona’s death... no, murder.
After a few moments, Squall
asked Quistis a painfully simple question. “Why?” She could have sworn she
heard Rinoa’s echoed voice chime in the same time Squall asked her that
question. It was the same one Rinoa asked before she pulled the trigger. Why?
Regaining her composure
once more, she said, “I couldn’t let her have you. I... I saw the ring. The one
you gave her. She.... looked so happy. Now that you were finally hers. You...”
She couldn’t continue and started crying once more.
Squall, though was
confused. What ring was she talking about? “Umm, Quis. What ring would
Oh god, he’s going to
make me feel stupid, now. She sighed.
I guess I deserve it. Quistis held her eyes closed tightly and mumbled,
“The o-one you gave her. You know, t-the wedding ring.”
Squall was still deathly
confused. What wedding? If there was one he was suppose to be in, he
didn’t know of it. Then it all came surging to him. The play! She thinks...
“Just what did you hear
Rinoa say, Quis?” Squall asked Quistis while leaning against the wall, crossing
Quistis then told him the
part about how Squall picked out a ring for her and proposed.
“That was for a play we
were planning next week, Quis.” Squall sadly said, holding his head in his
hands. “I.... I wasn’t getting married to her. I didn’t plan, too.” He stopped
for a moment, and took his hands from his face, though his head was still down.
“I was growing apart from her, Quis. It was you... I was starting to look at.”
He looked up at her with dejected eyes and said, “You.”
That last part shocked her
worse than all the threats and hoots and hollers from Zell. Once again the
tears began to resurface as she barely whispered, clasping her chest, “You....
Squall was to be hers. Hers
and no one else’s. What she was about to do wasn’t right and she knew it. And,
as tired as the old expression was, it was so true in this situation. If she
couldn’t have her, no one would.
Quistis tiptoed through the
dinning room until she reached the kitchen, with gunblade still in hand. Rinoa
was oblivious to Quistis presence as she continued washing the dishes. Where
is Quis? Did she fall in the bathroom or something? she questioned herself
as she glanced at the table still full of grimy dishes.
Quistis looked at the
gunblade and reasoned that this was the only answer. The only way she could
find peace. Standing behind her, she stared at her back for but an instant and
then pierced her, till the hilt reached Rinoa’s back. Rinoa’s muscles tensed up
and her arms bent some on her sides as the dishes dropped from her hand and
crashed to the floor, shards cutting her legs some. Surprisingly, Rinoa didn’t
scream or holler or even make so much as a peep. This angered Quistis some. She
wanted to know that Rinoa was suffering as much as she was inside. She wanted
to hear her beg for mercy and cry. She wanted her body to rock and shake
violently with pain. Something and not this silence.
Rinoa tried to look behind
her to see just who her attacker was, but wasn’t able to get a proper look.
Once Quistis saw her cocked head trying to see who it was inflicting so much
pain on her, she met her face with Rinoa’s, smiled through teary eyes, and
pulled the trigger. Rinoa’s body flinched some, and then dropped to the floor
as Quistis forced the gunblade out of her body. No twitch. No movement. No
nothing. Rinoa just lay there, dead.
Quistis looked at her
lifeless body with great approval, though a bit sadden she wasn’t able to recognize
the sort of pain she was in. One of the quietest deaths she ever committed.
But, she was dead. There was nothing more to worry about now. She looked at the
gunblade run with Rinoa’s blood with sickening interest. She started to smile
some more, and then laugh at her own little revelation.
“How ironic.” she said.
“How ironic that she would die with her own lover’s weapon.”
Not a moment later did
Selphie enter the room once more and see the terrifying scene that lay before
her. Squall’s gunblade, blood, Quistis, blood, Rinoa, blood, dead, blood...
Blood! Selphie could do nothing but scream in terror.
“B-but, I thought... you
and Rinoa?” Quistis questioned Squall. She was so confused. Here he was,
telling her that he liked her. That he really did have feelings for her.
And that she could have been his. They could have been... together. And
Rinoa could have still been alive.
Squall always seemed happy
with Rinoa. He always rejected Quistis advances. Never revealing that he was
interested in the least bit. Why didn’t he ever tell her? How he felt? Didn’t
he know that it was painful to live each day knowing that she wasn’t his?
It was all messed up now.
Things... could have been better. Would have been better. Should have been
better. “She... didn’t need to die,”
she muttered, a slight revelation on her part.
“Huh?” Squall asked.
Again she muttered, “She
didn’t need to die.” She then thought back to what she said after she killed
Rinoa. How ironic. Tears started flowing once more as she held her head
down as her own words polluted her thoughts. The mental anguish she would
forever receive from but two little words, stated by her own lips no less.
How ironic. How ironic.
First off, I want to
apologize to any Rinoa fans out there that I might have offended, but I needed
to write this fic to get the feelings I personally had towards Rinoa out
in the open. I’ll be the first one to admit that I wasn’t a huge fan of Rinoa.
From the get-go, I could tell that she wouldn’t be a character I would use too
much. So many things about her just yelled to me a nasty, disgusting word: Eww!
I really began to dislike
Rinoa when I saw how Quistis liked Squall but he went and fell for Rinoa. That
just wasn’t cool. And she was just all alone after that, Quistis was! Selphie
had Irvine whether you accept it or not, and Zell had Xu, I believe. But poor
little Quistis has no one. (Can you tell Quistis was one of my favorite
characters? After Irvine of course.)
I read a few fanfics that
had Quistis falling for Seifer (HOW, I’m still trying to figure out) and
that didn’t settle to much for me, particularly the way that it was done. And a
few others had Quistis falling for Zell (that just didn’t seem right to me,
either.) That’s when I decided I would have to write my own fanfic, putting my
own twist on it. I think the whole irony thing made this story work better than
my other ones. Plus, this story marked my first true, completed love story (The
Einhander story I’m STILL writing three years later was suppose to be my first
All in all, I hope you’ve
enjoyed my rendition of how the love between Squall and Rinoa/Quistis turned
out for the worse. Boy. I have ta stop writing such sad ending fics. Oh, don’t
mind me. Hope you enjoyed, and review or comment if you will, please. Thanks!