Chapter 4: Lion’s Punishment
Locked down, I gotta get it out,
Impending doom, a cloud above my head,
Why me? My faith has been devout,
Blasphemous? Am I better off dead?
As Squall opened up his eyes to the new day, to the bitter, dimly-lit morning, his thought was on Hyne.
Looking up, remembering everything he had done, he stared at heavens.
Hyne... You are doing this to me, aren’t you? Giving me my puhisment of all the times I have sinned against you, all the times I thought you weren’t existing.
Oh, now I know you exist...
To prepare an endless labrynth of pain and torture. And then, you put the obstacles in front of me, just to see my reaction...
Like I wasn’t dealing with enough in my life, you threw me into this now! I’m sick of playing your games! I would say “Hyne, guide me,” But your guidance leads to dead ends, your help becomes the dagger on my back.
But then, a soft organ music came to his ears. His palm still clutching his gunblade, he looked around to see the source of the music. It was coming from a Hyne church outside Deling City.
Going down from the fire exit, and getting into the city, Squall followed the music to find the church. He knew he had to confess. Confess his sins and recieve his punishment. He shouldn’t have been depending on his heresy against the “superior being”.
Getting out of the city, he found the church, and walked inside, his bloodstained gunblade still in hand.
“Who is it?” an echoing voice came. Looking around, Squall saw no one around.
“I’m here for confession.” Squall said.
“Step into the confessional, my son.” Came the voice.
Walking, while paranoidly looking around, Squall entered the chambers.
“May Hyne forgive the sins you’re about to confess, completing you with it’s holy trust. Do not turn your eyes away from Hyne’s infinite mercy... Instead, endure the holy atonement with a clean heart.” Came the priest’s voice.
“Forgive me father, I have been sinned. I’m... I’m not a Hyniast, but still-“
“-You’re seeking help from a more superior being than yourself, am I right?”
“Yes, father.” Squall said, not managing to hide the surprise he had.
“In Hynicale, Saint Rainer 13:6, it says, ‘Thou art not weak, but only thou seek strength in those above thy strength.’”
“Father, I...” Squall stopped, “I have killed two people yesterday. Both died in my hands... And I knew both of them.”
“Killed them? Disobeyed a commandment? Did you have a good reason for this act of sinning, something that you might swear over, in order not to repeat it?”
“They say, father, ‘A wise man doesn’t make the same mistake twice. A smart man doesn’t make the same mistake three times.’, and I’m the smart man.”
“I sense pain in your voice, son. Is there another thing that gives you pain?”
“I... Two months and a couple of days ago... The girl I loved left me. And I remembered to go to the holy grace of Hyne... But now, I don’t know what to believe. I can’t remember it anymore.”
“Son, probably cause you’re not as hard trying in your relationship with Hyne as you are in a mission, you’re suffering under the title which we call, ‘Hyniast Guilt’; a guilt that comes out in the open when a disturbance of faith occurs...”
“Disturbance of faith... Yes, father, I think that is the definition.”
“The thing you have to do, son, is a leap of faith. That is all.”
Getting out of the confessional, Squall stood there in amazement. He waited for the priest to get out, so he could see his face. But after ten minutes, noone came out. Squall, risking more heresy on his behalf, opened up the priest side of the confessional.
It was empty.
Confused and scared, Squall ran out of the church, and then remembered that he had let Ragnarok go with Irvine and Selphie. And that he had to take a train.
As he walked to the train station, he wondered what the hell he had done, going to a confession again.