RPG News Season 2 Starts!
Episode 9: The Great Interview
The next day, Gemini was on the phone in the kitchen. He had been on the phone all day, speaking to various RPG characters to invite to an interview. He invited famous ones like Mario, Kefka, Sephiroth, Squall (Again), Auron, Crono, and a lot more to be mentioned. He also invited not-so-famous RPG characters like Akiko, Ad Avis, and not many others.
All of a sudden, there was a mob of RPG characters in front of the studio. KOS-MOS had to keep everyone in order so Gemini could get a head count. There was about 100 guests on the show, so he divided the group into two groups. The heroes were on one side and the villains were on the other. Gemini took the heroes for the first part.
Cloud started the news like usual. Then Joey took his brand new camera to the guest spa for the interview. Gemini started by saying, "What we have here is a lot of RPG characters. the subject of the interview is, 'What is your opinion of RPG News?' First, Squall Leonheart is going to say his opinion."
"I thought the security thought I was a moron." Squall said.
"The viewer here scares me." mentioned Auron.
"There's no medical wing," Akiko acclaimed
"Theresa no spicy meata ball!" announced Mario.
"There's no sword or gun range," spoke Link
Gemini stopped the conversation and asked, "Is there any GOOD thing about RPG News?" Several noes were made in the next five minutes. Some people scrammed for the door, others started throwing their clothers at Gemini and booing at the same time. Eventaually every hero was gone, and Gemini and Joey were the only two in the room.
Gemini felt shameful and thought for a minute that he might close down RPG news, leaving the rest of the staff jobless (And possibly homeless.) The interview was a failure; nobody said anything good about it.
Our only first-class viewer came and calmed Gemini down. The viewer had known Gemini for a long time and was one of his most trusted friends. He hasn't really appeared on the show much. The only thing the other viewers, and the other staff didn't know, was his name.
Outside, the heroes and villains were making a certain pattern as they were running, one of a "This ends episode 9."
Viewer: Does anyone post in this thread?
Gemini: I hope so.
Episode 10: 101 Ways to Improve the Studio
Several hard, grueling, painful, and other miserable word days await our heroes. They have to work unmanly hours, Learn the profession of being a carpenter, and get a visit from someone! Gemini sounded the alarm. It was time to improve the studio.
The first few hours were not as bad. It was just Gemini opening his "Sims file" with the improved studio. It now is going to have a pool, a sword range, a gun range, a medical wing for long-time stayers, an observation tower, better security, a dungeon full of treasure, and a few more not-so-mentionable things.
The Staff was then so happy, they wanted to get to work right away, but they had to learn about plumbing, carpentery, safety, and other boring classes before they can start.
The first part was the sword/gun ranges. These were easy to make. It took about 1 hout to do each because they had to put a safe distance as to not hurt anyone. Next, the pool was built. It was right next to the spas. The Observation deck was made third. It had some chairs, and a deportation cannon.
Three weeks later, everything was finished. The only person excused from work was Jr. Because there had to be one person to do the news, and he won the "Name in the Hat" drawing.
A guy with a big white face and gray body was arriving to the studio. He was representing the Land of Depression, a place where everyone's sad. He took a while to come to the front steps of the new studio. He rang the doorbell ever so quietly.
Gemini welcomed the visitor and he held a sign that had said. "*sigh* Episode 10 *sigh* ends here*sigh*"
Viewer: I liked it when the King of Town was here.
Gemini: Doo hoo!
Viewer: What's that mean?
Gemini: I meant Woo hoo! Another Homestar Runner fan!
Viewer: Just wait until school starts, Gemini.
Episode 11: Visitations from a site called RPGClassics.com:
Gemini had the visitor introduce himself. He was called the King of Depression, known as Strong Sad. Gemini ignored him because he was expecting a visit from his brother, and some people fom RPGClassics.com. Gemini's brother came first, and since Gemini was in the shower getting ready, and he was in no shape being ready to meet with the guests, so Joey had to let him in.
Galloway had little knowledge that KOS-MOS was going to give him a surprise. He was going to receive it later though. Gemini got out of the shower and ran to the front door of the studio. He saw his brother, Chris, Pierson, PC Glenton, Mazrim Taim, TD, Starstorm, Weiila, Kaiser, WM, Archone, Eratsz, and Seph. Hayes walk into the door.
Most of them couldn't stay for long because they said that they were on a quest for the Hammer of Crossovers located in the Land of Depression. Gemini got his brand new Deportation Cannon ready, aimed at the Land of Depression, loaded everyone, and BOOM! They were blasted out. Only Chris, Pierson, and PC Glenton stayed in the studio.
Strong Sad was still minding his own buisiness in a corner of the studio. No one seemd to care. They just left him alone to fend for himself. He always seemed lonely, as if no one liked him. He did say something to Wakka, but he didn't care.
Meanwhile in the heart of the gathering. Chris had wanted to be a member of security, and so Gemini trained him at the new sword range first, then KOS-MOS took over at the gun range, Chris aced the training in both parts. He then got a badge, and brand new double uzis with his name engraved on each one. He was second in command in security next to KOS-MOS.
Elsewhere in the party. The news was starting. Gemini calmed everyone down with an extra loud alarm. Cloud started the news with this headline, "Many people from a site known mainly as RPGClassics.com came to the studio today to audition for many spots in the staff, while others came to be sent to the only entrance to the Land of Depression since the great Avalanche of '99. We all remember that do we?"
Pierson got to speak about why everyone RPGC related came to the studio (except for d Galloway). Galloway was in the back and was called out by Gemini. He entered the Deportation room, and by surprise, he was not being deported to a far off land. Joey and KOS-MOS were with them (Jr. got the day off from weather so he got to operate the camera.)
Gemini had told Galloway that he was so sick and tired of being beat up all the time because Gemini was not as strong as his brother. He then yelled to KOS-MOS, "Release the rope!" A giant weight labeled "Heavy Lourde" mistakedly fell on top of Joey instead of the intended target. Gemini had a back-up plan and KOS-MOS blasted Galloway to Downtown RPG Town.
The news was over and the party was almost over. The viewer (Still don't know his name yet. Well, I do but I'm not telling.) came to the scene and he met Pierson, Chris, and the other RPGClassics peoples. He was amazed by their insanity.
The viewer then left to his house leaving a note. It said, "You all can have your next party at my house, it's better than trashing your own studio so you don't have to do lots of clean up. I live in a place called Visalia. C ya!
All of a sudden, another weight drops on Joey, who's still crushed by the first one. This one says "Property of the RPG News Team. Episode 11 has ended when this weight drops. Oh am I supposed to say, 'Heavy Lourde'?"
Episode 12: The Viewer's Name Revealed!
In the Deportation Room, Joey was still crushed by the two Heavy Lourdes. Did anyone want to help him out? Gemini decided to help Joey, while everyone else started packing. They were going to the Land of Depression.
Sephiroth had an invitation to be the substitute while the heroes were gone. He had his Masamune, recently sharpened and ready to kill anyone in his path. Crono was another sub. The problem was he couldn't talk, and Sephiroth was about to kill him when Jr. gets out his gun and shoots at Sephiroth. Sephiroth then got angry and started slicing everyone in the room except for Strong Sad, who was still minding his own buisiness.
Gemini and A couple of guards pushed Joey to the Medical Wing and more guards were pushing other people there after what Sephiroth did to them. Strong Sad finally emerges from the corner he was in and says to Gemini, "Should you go to the Land of Depression later?"
Gemini responded, "Well, the buggy only seats four. Lets see. You, Joey, because he's just about recovered, Our viewer, because he didn't get hurt, and me. Oh, one more thing. Guards! Get Sephiroth out of here! He's caused too much destruction and has hurt more than three fourths of the crew! The guards then blasted Sephiroth out to the Land of Cookies and Cream.
Strong Sad then said quietly, "You should check on Joey, he is about recovered. I'll start the buggy."
Gemini then made mention, "You shouldn't drive, Strong Sad. We'll let our viewer do it. Besides, the viewer is the only person here that has a legal buggy license and that's not hurt. Chris has one, but he's in the Medical Wing."
The viewer had started the buggy; put his trombone, cross country jersey, laptop, and other Visalian stuff in the back. When everyone was in, the viewer took off.
Gemini and the viewer were in the front, and Strong Sad and Joey were in the back. Joey asked the viewer, "Have you given us your name yet?"
The viewer responded, "You can call me Vos Ceras. That's not my real name, but I don't want you calling me by my real name, even you Gemini."
A plane was flying above them and it flew in the pattern of "Episode 12 ends here. Stay tooned to find out what happens next."
Episode 13: I'm Sad That I'm Waterskiing.
On their way over to the Land of Depression Gemini was talking about how awesome his birthplace was. He made mention that it was common to do things like gamble or play sports in Visalia because there wasn't much there during his childhood, and there wasn't much there now.
Strong Sad then took over the conversation and started ranting and ranting and ranting in a bleak monotone that got Vos Ceras to sleep in about five minutes. Just about everyone fell asleep in ten minutes after Strong Sad started ranting, and fortunately, they were out of RPG Town, but unfortunately, they backed up a highway for 20 miles.
Yet Strong Sad was still ranting a story about how he keeps getting beat up. Then in the car behind them, Kefka was getting very mad when he realized that the driver of the buggy, Vos Ceras, was sleeping, a lot like a baby. Kefka started laughing insanely like "UWEE HEE HEE!, thus waking everyone up. Joey got up first, and did the honors of strangling Strong Sad, who was still ranting about his story.
When Vos Ceras got up, he realized that he was still in the buggy, and that Strong Sad was not ranting anymore, thanks to Joey. Vos Ceras started the car, and drove off to the Land of Depression. It took three days, according to Gemini's U. M. N. to get there, and when they were there, the entrance had been caved in. An avalanche blocked their path.
They had to climb over, or fly over. Well, the only person who knew had to fly was Vos Ceras, and he has a fear of heights, so that's out of the question. Fortunately, there was a lake nearby, and a waterski rental to go with it.
Everyone got to the lake in a hurry, except for Strong Sad because he always walks. When everyone got there, Gemini bought a motorboat, and a waterskiing set. Since the boat only seated three, one person had to waterski. Joey thought it'll be funny if Strong Sad waterskiied, but Gemini wanted Joey to do it.
They all voted and Strong Sad had the skiing seat. Wonder what's going to happen? Gemini started driving first at full speed, and Strong Sad fell off instantly. He let Strong Sad go back up, and he did it again. This happened about 100 times before someone realized that Strong Sad can't waterski.
So Vos Ceras was next in line. He also had some knowledge in waterskiing so he took the spot. He only fell off 20 timesd during the trip over to the Land of Depression. Pretty good when compared to Strong Sad's record. They finally docked at the Land of Depression.
Gemini and Joey got depressed very easily, it took a while for Vos Ceras to kick in. He had a higher endurance than the rest of the group. Strong Sad didn't need a time limit. He's always sad! A Depressio soldier was wating at the end of the dock.
While ther group was waterskiing, Gemini coincidently made a pattern of "That's all folks for now." despite Vos Ceras' fallings.
Episode 14: While They Were Out
Back at the studio, Chris and Pierson were recovering very quickly, it only took ten hours each to get recovered. Three days later, everyone was back to normal. Chris was put in charge of the studio while Gemini and Vos Ceras were out. Also, everyone in the studio lucked out because they didn't have to put up with Strong Sad's ranting.
Chris told Cloud and the others to start reporting today's news. Cloud then said as the headline, "A Chocobo got shot in RPG Town's nearby RPG Ranch. We have a guest with us today. His name is Tidus. Tidus, what do you have to say?"
"Well, I'd have to say that before the Chocobo was shot, the farmer, who calls himself Lynx, was abusing the animal. He at first shot the Chocobo with a stun gun, then a .22 rifle. Lynx has been described as a feline looking human, with mostly the traits of a cat. Tidus out."
"Thank you Tidus, next, we go with Jr. for the weather."
"Thank you Cloud, Today in RPG Town the high is 96 today. Looks like a hot one. In the Land of Depression today's high is 65. They have very nice weather. They always do don't they."
As the crew finished the news, Chris wanted to check the dungeon for more treasure, but since Gemini was broke, there was none. Maybe Vos Ceras or Joey had some Gil or Drachmas to replenish. What was in the dungeon was a few sword replicas like the Chrono Trigger Masamune, Sphiroth's Masamune, the Excalibur, the Excalipur, The Ragnarok, and a few not-so-mentionable swords. Maybe Chris would take those since he already raided Gemini once.
Meanwhile, in the Land of Depression, at the boat dock, the Depressio soldier welcomed Gemini, Vos Ceras, and Joey to his homeland. He said, "Welcome to the Land of Depression. You are to act sad as long as you are here. If you have any ounce of happiness you will be given a Depressio Shot, if you act happy again, you will be banished."
Joey inturupted and said, "If we're all sad, how will you banish us?"
"We can kill you off like this."
As soon as the Depressio soldier finished his speech, a Heavy Lourde appears out of nowhere and lands on Joey. Gemini and Vos Ceras were a little worried that their vacation could end early. They had to help Joey get the Heavy Lourde off of him. Once they did that, they entered the heart of the land.
When they got there, there was lots of gray water. Lots of dead trees, and bleak, pale mountains. Everything was drab, and dull. There could be no happy word to describe this place. There was little life, other than the Depressio Soldiers and Strong Sad.
They walked a bit further, and they reached a mountainous castle. They walked inside, and there were plenty of board games like Hi Ho Cherrio, Life, or Mouse! Mouse! Get out of my House!. Everyone stepped in, ready to play.
Outside the castle, two Depressio soldiers were talking. They mostly talked about that they would have a plan to do something, and do it soon. It would be something, depressing, but not pretty.
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, anybody know how to end this episode? Anybody?"
All of a sudden, a Heavy Lourde falls on top of the narrator, thus ending episode 14.
Episode 15: The Trial of Vos Ceras.
When everyone sat on the cold floor inside the castle, Strong Sad said the rules of Monopoly, which was the first board game they all had to play. Strong Sad was a master at the game, and was winning big time at the start. He bought half the board in his first time around. He must have been lucky and landed on a lot of spots that gave money, or he bought all the junkyards.
Gemini, Vos Ceras, and Joey didnt give up. Gemini ended up buying BOTH Park Place and Boardwalk during the same run, and Vos Ceras bought a bit of property. When the game was over, and Strong Sad lost, some Depressio soldiers came in, one of them with handcuffs, and the rest with daggers. They wanted someone in the group, but they arrested everyone! the crimes were not being sad and beating the King of Depression in a board game.
Since the Land of Depression did not have a court room, the Depressio soldiers sent everyone to Visalia. Joey had not been to Visalia before, so it would be a new experience, but not for long as they entered the courtroom to meet the rudest judge to ever exist, Judge Judy.
Judge Judy called Vos Ceras to the stand, and since she didn't know his real name, and the paperwork didn't state it, she just did a "You there, you are called to the stand."
The first question was, "What's your name?"
Vos Ceras said the name he went by, and Judge Judy remarked, "Vos Ceras, is that your real name? I find that name really weird."
A police officer talked to Judge Judy and said that he didn't want to go by his real name. Judge Judy laughed and said that was not the thing she wanted to hear. She pounded the gavel and started the trial. Her second question was, "Why were you acting so happily in the Land of Depression when the elite soldiers told you to -"
Vos Ceras had interrupted her and started saying his answer, but Judge Judy got very mad and finished her sentence. Then Vos Ceras had a chance to answer. He had strong word, and charisma. and was able to speak in a very strong way and with strong words.
Judge Judy Had asked the next quiestion, and Vos Ceras did the same thing. Eventually Gemini was so bored that he ended up ending the trial early bu sneaking a way to Heavy Lourde Judge Judy, since she was so rude to Vos Ceras. When the trial was dismissed to a recess, Judge Judy was staying in her courtroom, and the guards were outside, so it was a perfect time for Gemini to Heavy Lourde her, and for everyone else to run.
Gemini had successfully Heavy Lourded her and started running out of the courtroom himself. He had the whole city of Visalia running after him. Since Joey found a car the three of them could use, everyone drove back to RPG Town.
Meanwhile, Visalians were geting in their cars and chasing the heroes along a desert highway. The chase lasted about two hours, and then an explosion was heard on the side of the road, fortunately in the right spot. The Visalians were forced to flee, and Gemini, Vos Ceras, and Joey were able to win that battle.
Everyone got back to RPG Town in one piece, and they stopped at Tia's Ice Cream Shop to celebrate their victory. Who knows what'll happen next. Everyone was too relaxed to worry about anything. Everyone acted happy again, and when they finished their ice creams, the heroes drove to the studio.
At the studio, Chris was unexpected that Gemini had come back so soon. Well, everyone's back, and happy, and KOS-MOS decided to throw a reunion party!
At the spa, Jr. was by himself. He was so bored, that he drew in the water, Episode 15 ends here.
Episode 16: I want to go to Mt. Splashmore! (Part 1)
The party had started with a blast from the Deportation Cannon and with exceptionally loud music. There was sodas and beers, and Cid(FFVII) was walking in the front door. He did his ($#*!!! Greeting as he walked in. Gemini was sitting in a corner and feeling depressed and Vos Ceras wanted to cheer him up.
"What's the matter, Gemini?" Vos Ceras said to him. Gemini had responded that he had been chased by the people of his hometown because they knew he would have lost the trial.
"First Kerrigan," Gemini said, "Then Happy Clown, and now both the Land of Depression and Visalia chasing you and me? How much more can we all take?" Vos Ceras had suggested that Gemini watch a Simpsons episode.
And so he did, and in the episode, Krusty the Klown was advertisong for a place called Mt. Splashmore! He even sang a song that was like this:
"I want to go to Mt. Splashmore!
Take me take me take me take me now!
Now! Now! Now! Now! Now!
Mt. Splashmore take me there right now! Yay!"
And so Gemini got up, and asked Vos Ceras, "Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?"
"Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?"
"Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?"
Gemini asked Vos Ceras the same question to him all night, and even in Vos Ceras' sleep. Eventually Vos Ceras gets tired of the questioning and finally submits to Gemini's request.
This time they took the newscasters, and once again, Chris had to stay at the studio. The guests had left long ago, so he ended up by himself. Maybe he could steal Vos Ceras' treasure while everyone else was gone. However, Akiko stayed with Chris to keep him company, and Gemini hired Asuka to do the cleaning.
While everyone was in their cars, Gemini led the way, and Joey followed behind him. They were set off to the wettest waterpark in the fantasy world, Mt. Splashmore. As they were driving, they passed a highway sign that said, "Now leaving... Episode 16."