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Control of Self My father always told me that the hardest part of my birth wasn't the nine months of preparation and worry. Instead, it was the few minutes in the waiting room, not knowing what was going on inside. I can sympathize with that, being in the same situation myself. Having no control in any situation terrifies me, but something as important as the birth of my first child? I can't take much more of this. "Edgar?" I look up expectantly at the doctor who called out my name a moment ago. I'm not surprised that he uses my first name, and not the family title that almost everyone else does. He's a very close family friend. "Yes?", I venture expectantly. "There's no change in the situation. I just thought you'd want to know." My heart skips a beat, whether through agony or relief I cannot discern. "Thank you.", I manage to croak out. He leaves out the doors he entered, two flapping barriers separating me from my beloved. I can't stand this waiting! There must be something I can do. I refuse to believe that I can't control this. Somehow, I'll find a way to take hold of the situation at hand. Maybe I'll run through those doors and take charge of the operation... maybe I should just get a drink... "You can't change what must be." My father's dying advice echoes through my head. But he's wrong. He has to be. The thought that we're controlled, pushed down a certain path from birth... what then, would be the point in living? "You have a little visitor, Edgar." I rush through to see my glorious wife. Terra is sleeping, and given what she must have gone through, I can hardly blame her. Then I see him, my son, calmly bathed in the afterglow of his birth. "His name is Robert.", the dostor says needlessly. Terra and I had already chosen a name before he had even been concieved. I lift my son up, basking in his glory, and I speak to him. "You are a very special child. Did you know that? No, of course not. How could you? I don't know if you'll be a lawyer or a teacher or a plumber. That doesn't matter. No, you'll be special not from what you do, but from who you are. You'll be special because you'll always be you. But most importantly... "You, Robert Watanabe, will control your own destiny." Maintained by: |
