There's something about Selphie
by Lady Aliena

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"Woah Hey Hey! Settle down now..nice doggie....good doggie," Zell pleaded with the excited dog just feet below. "Awe man! What do you want from me? Go away...shoo shoo!"

The dog stood his ground and barked more. It whined the most pitiful sound ever heard by man as it hungrily eyed the hotdog in Zell's hand.

"No no no! It's mine..shoo! GO AWAY!!!" Zell grumbled to the dog, but it would not desist. The hotdog was now this canine's property and the Human was just a minor obstacle to be overcome.

Irvine Kinneas laughed softly to himself as he lazed in his seat in the Cafeteria. He comfortably swung his legs up onto the table and tipped his hat down over his eyes. Zell had clambered up onto the Counter at this stage to make as much distance between hungry Angelo and his hotdog. "Shoo!!! Go..A..WAY!!!" he groaned as the dog lifted his front paws up onto the counter and whined some more. "Go on, SHOOO! "

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Squall Leonhart sat in silence on the wall just outside the entrance to the Garden's garage. He was deep in thought, as usual, staring at the battle worn GunBlade in his hands. He closely examined the handle and then placed the tip of his finger against the trigger. "Hmmmn," he sighed to himself as he bought the weapon closer to his eyes for a better view. Slowly, he moved the tip of his finger along the barrel from the trigger down towards the razor sharp edge of the blade. "Hmmmn?" he sighed again. He had been sitting here for almost 3 hours now and he still wasn't any closer to figuring it out. "How in the hell does this thing work?" he muttered in frustration to no one in particular. Convinced that close inspection wasn't going to be enough, he decided to hit the library up for some more information. He hopped down from the wall and made his way to the Garden's entrance.

"WOOO HOOO! Six in a row!" Selphie shouted excitedly as she gathered up the bundle of cards she had just won.

"Bah...Well how am I supposed to have a fair chance if all I have is a 5 Bomb cards?" grumbled the defeated SeeD .

"Well, it's not what cards you have...it's the way you play 'em" Selphie said happily as she stood up and brushed herself down. She turned to see Squall moping slowly towards them.

"HEY SQUALL!!" She shouted ecstatically as she ran to say hello. "Hey, hey, guess what? Go on, guess! Go on...guess guess guess guess guess guess!"

Squall felt his brain beginning to swell as he lifted his heavy head weighed down with too many thoughts to give Selphie a half-hearted smile. "Ummmn I dunno.. What?" He finally answered.

"I SAID GUESS, YOU NINNY!!" Selphie boomed as she prodded Squall in the chest.

"Owww...GEEZ...Ummmmnn..." Squall's mind went blank, possibly for the first time in his life "You...found the last piece of the broken vase?"

"Huh? What? No, silly! I got a date! Irvine asked me to go to the dance on Friday night," Selphie revealed.

"Dance? What dance? There's another dance?" Squall moaned in confusion.

"What? Didn't you read the e-mail I posted to everyone? It's called Dances for Daisies. It's in honor of the veteran SeeDs. Oh, why do I bother organizing these things if no-one bothers to read their e-mail?" Selphie gave Squall a frustrated look.

"Sorry. So, you're going with Irvine? Oh?" Squall felt odd. He didn't feel right at all saying those words. Selphie and Irvine....well, it made sense. But still, it troubled him. Somehow...could it be? Nah! It couldn't...could it? Squall's mind was racing at full throttle again. Do I...I mean, could I...do I? His heart skipped a beat as he suddenly realized something. I think I love Selphie. Could it be that her carefree and happy attitude was slowly growing on him? He raised his eyes again to look at the smiling, but confused, Selphie who was waiting for Squall to say something for the last two minutes. He gave her a full smile, which totally caught her off guard.

"Woah...you alright there, Squally?" She asked, concerned by his unusual display of happiness.

Squall's smile faded into a frown again as he went over those words in his head again...Irvine and Selphie...Irvine and Selphie...Irvine and Selphie... This could not be allowed to happen. Squall gave Selphie a pained look and darted off to his room.

"O...K...?" Selphie said softly as she watched the man with the fuzzy coat run away. "Must be going to ask Rinoa to the dance," She turned and skipped away.

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Quistis Trepe was hard at work up on the second floor. She was teaching class and this year's bunch wasn't exactly the brightest bunch in Balamb.

"Umm Miss Trepe?" One boy at the back raised his hand and waved it frantically above his head.

"Yes Ralph, what is it NOW?" Quistis asked impatiently.

"What's Garden Florist?" the boy asked, confused.

"It's a Guardian Force, Ralph. Not Garden Florist," she answered as calmly as she could.

"Ummm......Miss Trepe?" came the little voice again.

"YES RALPH?" she moaned.

"What's a Gummy Bear do?" the boy asked, curiously.

"It's a GUN BLADE, Ralph. It's a weapon used by Squall Leonhart - our own local hero we reviewed in the last chapter." She groaned. "Now, no more interruptions!" She went back to what she was saying.

"Now, Trabia Garden was destroyed by missiles by order of..." she began.

"Ummm...Miss Tee-pee? What's a Saucerer?" came a little voice.

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"HEY GUYS!" A happy voice shouted as Selphie walked into the Cafeteria. She walked over to the table Zell and Irvine sat at and joined them. "Awe, you gave Angelo your hotdog...ain't you sweet?" she said about Zell as she watched the dog gobble down the last of the conquered hotdog.

"I got my dress picked out for Friday night. This is gonna be sooo cool!" Selphie said with unending excitement to Irvine, who was now excitedly playing with his hat now that Selphie had joined them.

"Huh? What's on Friday night?" Zell asked, curious.

"What? You....THE DANCE!!!! Didn't you read the e-mail I sent you?" Selphie asked, very annoyed.

"Oh oh, yeah yeah! The Dance! I remember the dance!" Zell lied, remembering reading that he had 107 new messages in his inbox and embarrassed at the fact that he didn't know how to open them.

"Cool! Yeah...well, Irvy here asked me to be his date!" Selphie said with pride as she grabbed the hat from Irvine's hands and placed it on her head. This is gonna be great! Well, I'd better go make an announcement or something since it seems SOME folks aren't reading their e-mail here." With that, Selphie leapt to her feet and ran out the exit.

Zell stared at Irvine in silence.....Irvine Irvine Irvine...Irvine Irvine Irvine Irvine Irvine.....Oh Irvine Irvine Irvine....Something was definitely troubling Zell's mind.....Oh no! Could it be? Zell stood up and gave Irvine a cold stare and slowly walked back to his room. Irvine and Selphie...this could not be allowed...She was his!

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Seifer Almasy was fed up. He hated this stupid job. Ever since that whole Sorceress Knight incident, he was stuck on Guard Duty outside the Headmaster's office. Cid had said to him that if he really wanted to be a Knight, he could start by standing guard at the office day and night, till told otherwise. The elevator gave a happy ping as it's doors slid open and Selphie stepped out.

"Hey there, Seifer!" She smiled, but got no better response than a cold stare. "Mmmmn.....Ok? I just gotta get inside to ask the Headmaster if I can make an announcement about the dance."

"Dance? What dance" Seifer finally asked quietly.

"Awe geez.....The Dance! Dances for Daisies! This friday night! Geez...well you'd better get cracking on finding a date. I got mine," she smiled.

"Hmmph...Yeah...Who's that? Chicken-wuss?" he asked, genuinely curious, to his own surprise.

"His name's ZELL, Seifer, and no, I'm going with Irvine," She answered, annoyed.

"Irvine? That Cowboy wanna-be? Why would you want to go with him? You'd be better off going with someone with a bit more style than that cartoon character!" He laughed, though slightly more curious as to why it bothered him so much that Irvine was taking her.

Selphie gave him a cold look. "Well, he's got more style than you...you..."

"Yes? What am I?" he teased.

"Just let me into the office," Selphie grunted.

"No can do. Cid's out on business. No entry. That means YOU!" Seifer grinned playfully at Selphie.

"FINE!" Selphie shouted at him and stormed back to the elevator.

"No, no, wait! I was just kidding! Here, come on. I'll let you in," Seifer said. He was totally amazed at how nice he was being to this pretty young girl.

Selphie gave him a look and then followed him into the office. Inside, Seifer walked over to the intercom and decided to test it out. A voice boomed throughout the Garden. "CALLING ALL CHICKEN-WUSSES...CALLING ALL CHICKEN-WUSSES...COULD ZELL CHICKEN-WUSS PLEASE REPORT TO MED BAY FOR A RECTAL EXAM? ZELL CHICKEN-WUSS TO THE MED BAY PLEASE!" Siefer took his finger off the button. In the distance, the sound of many people laughing could be heard.

"Gimme that!!" Selphie shouted as she grabbed the mic from his hand.

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"Hey Irvine! Wait up!" Zell ran down the hall, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

"What's up?" Irvine asked.

"Selphie and I were talking and she said she'd love some Fried Ochu."

"Fried Ochu? What the heck?"

"Yeah...uh..." Zell took a deep breath and continued to lie. "It's a delicacy in Trabia and she hasn't had it in forever! She said she'd give anything for some."

"OK," Irvine shrugged. "Can't have my little butterfly not satisfied! I'll just go to the Balamb Meat Market and get some."

"Oh no!" Zell shook his head adamantly. "It's rare. You won't find it there! You've got a gun. You'll just have to go hunting for it. I'll even fly you there."

"Where?" he looked at Zell, puzzled.

"The Island Closest to Heaven, of course!"

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They had just landed the Ragnarok and stepped out onto the soft, dewy grass. Irvine took out his Exeter and tapped it on the ground. "OK, where should I start?" he asked Zell.

"Over there!" Zell pointed. "Way over there...over that hill..."

"Why there?"

"Cause I saw one there," Zell replied.

Irvine shrugged again and headed towards the hill. Sure enough, he spotted the ochu, looking goofy and waving it's tentacles around. Irvine grimaced. How could Selphie like these things?? He approached the beast slowly, circling it. It hissed and swatted at him, but he leapt out of the way. He shot a few times, before finally dropping his gun and wrestling the monster. After about 10 minutes, he looked up, triumphant. "HAH! Take THAT! Zell! I got one! Zell?" He looked up and saw the Ragnarok sailing through the sky. "Aww heck! How am I supposed to get home now?"

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Zell sat in the Ragnarok, giggling. "Heh heh! Now with Irvine out of the way, I can cozy up to Selphie! That was too easy. And now he's stuck on that Island.there's no way he's getting home! He--what?" The Ragnarok had jerked and then seemed to stop mid-air. A peculiar blue glow surrounded the ship. "Oh no! You're kidding me!"

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*knock knock knock*

Selphie opened the door and squealed when she saw Irvine standing before her with a steaming plate of...of something. "What are you doing here? You look exhausted!"

"I am, but I've brought you something. Straight from the Island of Heaven...Fried Ochu!" he answered.

"Weird! I've never heard of that, but it looks yummy!" she grinned.

"But Zell said--" Irvine started to protest, but merely shook his head. "Maybe he just misheard. Oh well, enjoy!" he said, stepping into her room and shutting the door.

Seifer had observed the whole thing, shaking his head. He had to do something and he had to do it fast! The Dance was approaching fast. So Chickenwuss had taken him hunting...hmm...He suddenly had a great idea! He'd somehow get Irvine very far away and strand him. He congratulated himself on being so original and walked to his room to start making plans. Where was Zell anyway, he wondered. Knowing Chicken-wuss, he probably got himself abducted by aliens or something. Laughing at this thought, he went into his room and shut the door.

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"Hey Cowboy, wait up!" Seifer walked up to Irvine, his face scrunched up into a clever sneer.

"You're talking to me?" Irvine said, puzzled.

"No, the other cowboy over there," he replied sarcastically. "Of COURSE I'm talking to you! I've got to tell you something about Selphie!"

"Selphie?"

"She saw a picture in a magazine of an albino Fastitocalon-F and thought it was the 'cutest thing ever!' She said she'd love to have one as a pet."

"OK," Irvine shrugged. "Gotta make sure my Sephie's happy! I'll go to the Timber Pet Shop and see what I can do."

"Oh no! They're rare. You'll only find albino ones down at one of the beaches on Centra." Seifer declared.

Irvine looked at Seifer, confused. "I don't remember seeing any down there."

"Cowboy! Do you want to make your girl happy?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then let's go! I'll go with you!" Seifer said.

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They had flown to the Chocobo Forest where they met up with Choco-Bob, who gave them a great deal on chocobos to take down to the Southern end of the continent.

"I don't understand why we couldn't have just flown there!" Irvine commented as he bumped up and down on the chocobo.

"Because you're not getting the full experience, then!" Seifer declared.

"What full experience? We're just trying to catch Selphie a pet!" The two young men arrived at the beach and jumped off their chocobos. There were no Fastitocalons anywhere.

"Over there!" Seifer pointed. "Over that hill. I saw one!" he lied.

"Where?" Irvine went in search. He climbed over the hill and looked around. "I don't see anything--oh wait!" A white Fastitocalon-F with beady red eyes popped up from the ground. "What luck!" Irvine shouted. He approached the fish slowly, circling it, before jumping at it in an attempt to capture, but not hurt it. He didn't hear the trotting as Seifer guided the chocobos away. "Seifer! I got one! Seifer! Seifer?" He looked around and found he was once again alone. "Not again! How am I gonna get home now?"

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"What do you mean, my ship's gone???" Seifer demanded, angrily.

Chocobo-Bob scratched his belly and said in his heavy drawl, "Well, you double-parked, so it got towed. Where's your buddy?"

"Never mind my buddy!" Seifer paced around, swearing. He dug his hand in his pocket and felt around for his money. "How much do I have to pay to get my ship back?"

"1500 gil."

"1500 GIL??? What kind of a scam are they running?"

"Uh, I'll let you have a blue chocobo for 45. It'll get you across the water and everything," Choco-Bob offered.

"Fine!" he replied tersely, following Choco-Bob out to fetch the blue chocobo. He took one look at it and decided he didn't like it. It did the same to him. He shook his head, and muttered annoyedly, "Great. This is just great." Mounting the chocobo, he dug his heels in. The chocobo didn't seem to like that much, so in revenge, he raced quickly towards the largest mud puddle he could find...

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A lone, blond man was trudging through the halls of Balamb Garden. People were staring at him - a few were laughing. Zell Dincht was ticked off. Covered from head to toe in blue slime, he made his way towards his room, leaving a slime trail in his path. Oh well, he thought, at least Irvine wasn't---IRVINE????

Irvine was walking down the hall, carrying a weird looking white fish in a plastic bag filled with water. He spotted his blue-slimed friend. "Zell? ZELL? What happened to you? You look terrible! Heh...did you get abducted by aliens or something? Ha ha ha! Oh, you were right. Selphie LOVED the fried ochu! She thought it was delicious! But why'd you take off like that?"

"Misunderstanding," Zell grumbled, annoyed. How had Irvine gotten off that island?

"Well, I'm on my way to give her this fish. It's an Albino Fastitocalon-F! Pretty impressive, huh?"

"Sure," Zell mumbled.

"You ought to take a bath!" the cowboy commented before rushing off to Selphie's door.

Zell ignored the squeal of delight he heard from Selphie and kept trudging towards his own room.

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Squall had seen Irvine give Selphie the fish, when he had a sudden great idea! What if he got Irvine very far away and stranded him somehow? He was sure it had to work! But how? His mouth fell into a small smile. He knew what to do.

"Hey Irvine," he said quietly as Irvine was retreating from Selphie's door, a smile on his face.

"Hey! What's up?" Irvine slapped Squall on the back.

"I've noticed you and Selphie getting close."

"Yeah, she's great, isn't she?"

"She sure is. Look, Irvine, I heard her talking to Quistis and she was telling her about something she wanted more than anything," Squall said confidentially.

"Really? What? I'd get her anything she wants!"

"Opals."

"Opals?" Irvine looked at Squall, confused, and then shrugged. "She doesn't really seem the opal type, but I'd be happy to go to the Balamb Jewelry shop and get her some."

"Oh no!" Squall exclaimed. "The ones you want are found in the caves near the Great Salt Lake in Esthar. I'll even take you!"

"I don't know..." Irvine hesitated, remembering the last two times he had been stranded. But Squall would never do something like that, so he shrugged again and said, "Fine! Let's go!"

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"It's in there," Squall pointed inside the cave. "Around the corner. If you don't see it, keep going and you'll find a whole wall full of them! I'll stand guard out here."

"Why do you need to stand guard?" Irvine asked as he entered the dark cave.

Squall ignored the question and just leaned against the rock, whistling softly to himself.

"I don't see anything!" Irvine called from inside.

"Keep going!" Squall urged. When he was satisfied that Irvine was far enough in, he began to grab large rocks lying around and sealed up the entrance to the cave. "Heh heh," he laughed to himself. "Now with you out of the picture..." he turned and walked towards the ship, not noticing a dip in the cliff. He lost his balance and skidded down.

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A young blond man was trudging through the halls at Balamb Garden. He was covered in caked-on mud from head to toe. He was soon joined by another man, who was covered in a fine white dust, also from head to toe. Seifer and Squall looked at each other, not really wanting to ask the other what had happened, and even more reluctant to tell what had happened to themselves. They stopped in their tracks when they saw a familiar man in a long brown coat and cowboy hat.

"Hey, Seifer! Squall! What happened to you guys? You look awful! Well, Seifer you were right. Selphie loved the fish! But she said she had never heard of them. You must have misheard her. And Squall, I found the biggest cluster of opals in that cave! It was weird, though. I had a hard time getting out. I got lost or something. That, or the entrance was sealed!" he laughed at his little joke, jabbing Squall in the ribs, and then dusting off the white powdery dirt that had come off on his hand. "You guys really ought to take some showers or something!" He merrily walked towards Selphie's door to give her the present.

Seifer and Squall stared at the pair with cold eyes, not noticing Zell coming up beside them and joining in on the staring.

'I've been going about this the wrong way,' Zell thought as he watched the happy couple.

'I've been going about this the wrong way,' Seifer thought as he wiped a bit of mud from his face.

'I've been going about this the wrong way,' Squall thought before he sneezed from the dust that had gotten up his nose.

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Zell browsed through the Balamb Clothing Boutique for several minutes before he found exactly what he needed. He looked up and saw Squall at the register. "What's he getting?" he muttered to himself, straining to see what the cashier was shoving into the bag. Squall looked up and narrowed his eyes, moving slightly, to hide his purchase from Zell's view. Seifer entered the shop, looking a little surprised to see both Zell and Seifer there. He raised his chin defiantly and started to browse while Squall left. Zell stuffed the items under his shirt and hurried to the counter, trying to hide them from Seifer. He quickly paid and ran out of the shop.

"Wuss," Seifer muttered as he sifted through the racks of clothing until he found exactly what he wanted.

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The Dance had finally arrived and Selphie looked gorgeous. She was wearing the beautiful opal that Irvine had found for her and a shimmering, opalescent dress to match. Opals really weren't her thing, but he had gone to such trouble to get it for her, that she thought it was the most wonderful gift! Irvine looked stunning as well, at her side in a tuxedo. He had abandoned the cowboy hat and long coat for a classier look that evening. All eyes were on them as they entered the ballroom. They spotted Quistis and Rinoa and headed straight for them.

"Hey, Rinn...where's Squall?" Selphie asked.

"I don't know," Rinoa replied. "He's been acting really strange lately. I haven't seen him all day!" She started to pout. "He was supposed to escort me here, but he said he had some things to do and would arrive late."

"Yeah, that's what Seifer and Zell said," Quistis remarked. "I wonder what they're up to."

She didn't have to wonder long. The lights dimmed and a spotlight shined on the entrance of the ballroom. Zell was happy that he had paid the lighting guys earlier that day to do this for him. He swaggered in, confidently and looked around, searching for Selphie. A few people whistled; others laughed. Selphie's mouth dropped and she began to giggle as Zell made his way to her. "Zell? What are you doing?" Zell was wearing a long, tweed brown coat and cowboy hat, and he brandished a gun.

"What do you think?" he raised one eyebrow.

"I think you look ridiculous!" Selphie laughed.

"Hey!" Irvine protested. "I think he looks pretty good. Good sense of fashion!" He joined Selphie's laughing as he punched Zell in the arm. "Come on, what's going on? Really? Is this a joke?"

"Oh Hyne! Look at that!" Quistis grabbed Selphie's arm and pointed back at the entrance. Seifer Almasy had just entered the room, dressed the exact same way. Selphie doubled over in laughter and even Zell began to laugh. Seifer twirled his gun and tipped his cowboy hat at the petite brunette.

"How-do, little lady!" he said.

"Oh, come on!" Irvine protested. "I do NOT talk like that!"

"Seifer?" Rinoa squealed. "You look so...so...rugged!"

Seifer smiled until he caught sight of Zell dressed the same way. His smile melted into a scowl and he began to realize how ridiculous he looked. The sound of applause thundered through the room as once again, everyone's attention was directed to the entrance. Squall had just stepped in, clothed in the same long coat and cowboy hat - except his coat was lined with fur at the top. Quistis and Rinoa howled in laughter, and Seifer joined Zell in the snickering.

"OK, what's going on?" Irvine demanded of Squall as he approached. Squall's face paled visibly when he spotted Seifer and Zell sporting the same outfit.

"That's what I want to know!" Selphie laughed. "Really guys, I only know of one person who can pull off that look!" she smiled up at Irvine and he tickled her side.

Zell stepped forward, "I just thought that maybe, you know, if I became like Irvine, you'd like me more," he said shyly.

"Oh Zell!" Selphie laughed. "I like you fine!" She gave him a big hug.

"I know...I just thought that maybe..." his voice trailed off. Selphie turned to Seifer and Squall with one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, what he said," Seifer shrugged, pulling off the cowboy hat.

"Ditto," Squall agreed.

"There's just something about you people can't resist, I guess," Irvine leaned in. "But for now, you want to dance?"

"I'd love to!" Selphie smiled, "You guys are silly!" She laughed, waving to the 3 cowboy wanna-be's in front of her.

Rinoa, Quistis, Squall, Seifer, and Zell watched the happy couple walk out onto the dance floor. They really did seem to fit each other well.

"What you guys did was really sweet," Quistis smiled. "And you don't look silly! You look adorable! Come on!" she grabbed Seifer's hand. "Let's dance! That's what we're here for!"

"Yes! Let's!" Rinoa agreed, pulling Squall out to the dance floor, but not before taking his hat and tossing it down on the table.

Zell watched them walk out to the dancefloor and sighed. No fair. It wasn't fair at all. Slumping down in his chair, he pouted until he noticed a shadow falling across his body. Looking up, he saw he had a visitor. Xu stood before him, clothed in a long black velvet dress. "Would you care to dance?" she asked sweetly. He was surprised to see her there dressed like that, and apparently it showed on his face, for she replied, "I know. I look silly, don't I?" She looked down at the dress and rolled her eyes. "But Selphie made me wear it. So?"

"I'd love to!" he stood taking her arm and leading her out. On the arm of the attractive woman, he danced, all the while staring at Selphie. Glancing around, he noticed Seifer and Squall doing the same. And one thought entered his mind: I've been going about this the wrong way...

What he didn't know, was that Squall and Seifer were thinking the exact same thing...

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